Ending it with a scorpio guy, BUT HOW???
Hi all, new here. I've been dating (if you can call it that) a scorpio guy now for close to a year. There is almost an eight year age difference between us. He's 25, and I'm 33. He's a great guy, very mature, highly educated and smart and very honest, to a fault almost. He has a lot of positive traits I admire, but he also has alot of negative traits I'm finding very hard to cope with. I don't want to draw this post out and make it long and boring, so I am asking what is the best way of ending a romantic relationship with a scorpio without getting stung?? or plotted against. I'd love to keep this person in my life, but it sounds almost insulting to rip someone's heart out, and then ask for friendship from them. Should I be just as brutally honest with him as he is with me, and lay out everything wrong between us two, or should I try and keep it short and sweet with him ?? I know his ex hurt him something terrible over 2 years ago, and he still vows to this day of getting even with her, I don't want to be added to that "hit list" so to speak.
Scorpios are feeling creatures. You have to reach him in the emotional side to explain your frustration, sadness of dealing with his negative traits without making it sounds like its his fault. If you can make him sympathize with your feelings, i guess you are good to go. Make him feel that if he leave your side, it will be doing you a favor instead of staying by your side. Our intensity could work both way, we sympathize with equal intensity as we love and hate. I know it sounds sad on him, but that is the way we are. We will go to all extend to please our lover even if it means to leave them. That will be our last gift.
You must be sincere about it too because we will know it if you are not and when we do.... there goes the sting. It will not be easy but best of luck anw.
If it were me? Be honest and tell me everything, absolutely everything. Then offer plenty of chances to meet up again and talk things through until I have full closure.
If you don't do this a Scorpio will drop everything else they are doing and focus completely on what went wrong etc.. analysing the whole situation to see if there was something wrong with the "master" plan.
If they are left to do this on their own then it is likely that they will come up with an explanation which not only covers up the hurt but will also make it out that the master plan would have workied if it wasn't for some convenient reason. If that conveniant reason is you then stand back and wait for the focus of the energy to change to plotting your downfall.
But...if you take the effort to talk it through, why you are doing what you are doing, etc... then a Scorpio will accept honesty.
As an extreme example, the worst thing you can do is use the "I don't think it's going to work out, let's just be friends" line and walk off into the sunset.
You have to be honest yourself, if you say "I don't want a relationship with anyone at the moment" and then you go off with someone else this will really stir it up.
You say you still want to have a friendship with this guy afterwards. If this is true then expect it to be more intense than other friendships. Remember Scorpio's are the best friends you can have. Don't see this as him trying to get back with you, although he will probably do that as well - but if he does then it will be part of a seperate plan of attack and you should be able to spot it and deal with it.
So no chance of sorting out his negative points then? Lots of knowlegeable people here to ask if you want to try?
Zelkari is right though. A Scorpio would cut off their own arm for someone else and if this means leaving quietly then they will. Just don't leave any seeds of doubt behind. I know this, I've done it.
Thanks Zelcari, and no Arcam, no chance. He has a very overbearing mother he has hidden me from since day 1. She's not ready to cut the umbilical cord, and he's not reaching for the scissors any time soon I'm afraid. There are other things, but the two major ones,which aren't negative traits per say, are that I have been married, and have no plans of going back to it, whereas he wants to be married one day (not to me,just married in general) I also have two children, and that's all I want, and he has no children and wants them one day as well. So as you can see, I don't want to waste anymore of his time, and I don't want him to waste anymore of my time. I'm glad I met him, and I don't regret our relationship, but I don't want to lead him in to believing that this will end happily ever after. I really hate having to hurt someones feelings, but he has been quite honest with me, and I feel I owe this much to him.
I need to refine his words because Arcam do make a lot of sense. You need to be honest (i.e. sincere) but do channel his feelings toward sympathy and not anger or hatred. Glad that i am of help. Good luck
If I can role play again for a minute. If you told me exactly what you said above then I would pretty much agree that it was time to move on. My response would be "ok, we obviously want different things but I'd hate to lose you as a friend" and I would be true to that. Facts is Facts to a Scorpio. Without the facts you risk him making his own up. Ok try to be sensitive in the way you say it but I would rather take it on the chin myself.
BTW, it's not his fault he has an overbearing mother.
that sounds really thotful of you... with fixed signs, usually honesty is what counts, and maybe telling him these two main reason will help in the lessening of pain. if it seems like youre doing this for him, which is exactly what it looks like, and if it effects you and hurt you to hurt him then that may ease his emotions as well. its logical. that, coupled with that you dont want to just completely separate ends things on a friend level, may indeed keep you two close that way.
good luck man.
I am a scorpio, we dont want to get even with someone unless someone has seriously crossed us. You would need to be honest with the guy. Let him know how you feel.