Aries/pieces cusp woman/solid cancer man
Hello. My name is April and my birthday is march 21st. I am in a confusing relationship with a 52 year old cancer man who has been in at least 3 bad relationships. He loves to flirt and is very sensitive most of the time. Though he tells me that he does not want a committed relationship(because they don't work they get too possessive), he also tells me other mixed messages. Like he could live with me or that he enjoys having me in his world, he once thought about moving to another country and asked me if I could live there.
He's hot and cold in this close friendship and I have not made any demands of any kind. Does anyone have any insight into what may come of this. I would like more but have not asked it from him. I feel that he may need more time for his heart to heal. And it may never do that. Should I Jst accept this and take it as it is.
Hi , May I suggest you pop over to my thread. " Have i lost my Cancer b/f for good " You will find it under the love and relationship forum. Sandra712 is an expert on Cancers as she is one herself , she will help and give you good advice, like she did for me .
What is your relationship with him now? Are you dating regularly or just friends?
It’s always a good idea to keep communications open by expressing your own needs so I do think it’s a good idea to discuss what kind of relationship you would like (if he doesn’t already know). Now having said that you should also be prepared to receive an answer that might be somewhat vaguely negative and if not vague then just negative because he has already told you he doesn’t want a committed relationship. Find out what he is willing to give and then make your decision on whether it’s something you can live with or not. Remember though that he also mentioned he doesn’t like possessiveness (clinginess) so it will be something he will be watching out for. Yes, the hot/cold messages can be a little confusing until you learn to disregard them as just words. Look at the actions and if the actions match the words then you can take them seriously. No matter what, he will be extremely cautious about entering into a relationship because of the 3 bad relationships and that’s why I think the answer will come back negative. But, depending on his answers you can find out if he is willing to shift his position at some point. As you say, he may never heal or he may decide to dip his toe in. Hopefully he doesn’t mind wet feet. Good luck!
P.S. Hopefully my response wasn’t too vague
Thank you. I believe that I will give him some space and if I hear from him then we can talk about all the words. I have just come from a long bad marriage and am alittle afraid of wet feet myself. He knows how I feel. I've told him. That's for me to deal with. I do not want to lose a good friendship.