How to forgive

  • My boyfriend of four months split up with me in the beginning of February, and I still haven't moved on. I still love him and miss him (my birth date is 6-26-93 and his is 3-10-91, if you need them--he's a Pisces and I'm a Cancer). I truly felt we were meant to be together.

    We met a the community college where we're both taking classes--we both take the bus home. We hit it off right away. We talked about our families, and things we had in common--we both play piano. He started giving me beautiful gifts I felt uncomfortable accepting. I felt like the luckiest girl in the world.

    Then near-disaster struck--on our first date he fell from a balcony and broke his spine. I was there for him at the hospital almost every day. That was when he told me he loved me, and that he felt so blessed to have me, and wouldn't let me go.

    After he was out of the hospital, we spent lots of time together. It was the happiest time of my life.

    Shortly after he was well enough to return to the college, problems began. At first, all seemed well. He introduced me to his big group of friends, including his best girl friend there (who he hadn't had contact with during his hospital stay; he didn't know her number). They seemed to accept me.

    A week later, I went early to research and finished earlier than I was expecting and had tons of time before class. I decided to see if he was around. I saw him and his friends in the building with couches they usually hang out at and decided to say hi--he freaked out. He said, "So what, you just expected me to be here?!" I was alarmed and said nevermind, I have to go anyway, see you later. I was so embarassed. But then he insisted I stay so I did, uncomfortably. I got to know his girl friend better--it was clear she and him were close, but I assumed it was friendship.

    Things got harder over the next few weeks. He was constantly argumentative, and I was agreeable and apologized and tried to smooth things over.

    Then he broke up with me. He said he still loved me but was going through tough times with the hospital and fighting with his family. He said I was happy before we got together, why shouldn't I be now? I was heartbroken because it seemed just as painful to him as me and didn't understand--I could be there for him. He also said he "told his friends the same thing", to leave him alone. I asked him if it was goodbye forever, and he just said he didn't know.

    After a week of misery, I saw him--with his friends again, sitting close to his girl friend on the couch. I was so angry and hurt. He didn't even have the decency to tell me. How can I forgive him and move on? I still love him in spite of all this. What should I do? Any advice apreciated--thanks!

  • Hi Lightdreamer93,

    Sorry to hear about your situation. Maybe you can check out this thread below. I started the thread yesterday. It was about forgiving and forgetting (letting go). I got it from one of the relationship's website. I think it is a good article.

    Good luck and be safe.

  • Thanks so much, Emergence!...I'd still greatly appreciate more advice...

  • how do you forgive someone who made you lose everything even your house?

  • That's a good question!

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