Need help on Letting It Go

  • The current path I am on in my life everything tells me that I need to let my problems go... give them over to a higher power. Honestly I am struggling very much with this... I dont know how to do it.

    I think i see where my flaw in thinking is...but i dont know how to change it... maybe someone can give me a new way to look at it.

    Is letting it go... giving it to the higher power not essentially "ignoring it" ? In essence letting it just be? I know we are the only ones that can truely take action to change things in our lives... so how do you give it up.

    Gah I know i'm over thinking things... I know it will all work in the end.

  • I had a spiritual reading quite by accident on Mon and the theme...."LET IT GO"!!! I thought I had been doing just that; apparently I need to do more. Also, all of my spiritual advisers were screaming at me to do my affirmations, chanting and in general spiritual practice. Maybe the answers will come from that.

  • You need to know what things you as a human being can control (your own reactions and attitudes) and what you can't (generally the outcome of situations and other people). A Higher Power (our God selves) will take care of the big picture, which most of us can't see, while we (our human sides) attend to the little details. Knowing when to do which is real wisdom. So you either allow your God side to take over or your human side, depending on what the situation calls for.

    Am I making any sense?

  • When i am spiritually fit nothing bothers me does not mean i do not feel it allows me to make rational decisions not based on emotions or feelings or fear and i get better results and am able to deal with things a lot better.Ok how do you get there for me its simple when i am willing but if you have never do it then the easiest way i can explain it is to get a pen and a piece of paper and start by asking God or your power you chose to believe in to guide you in this writing and start by asking yourself what you think is bothering you and why if its money then ask why or if its relationships ask why putting all this down on paper and taking it further every time you get a answer for example if its a wife who left you ask why does it hurt and if you say you loved her so much then you need to ask your self if it was love or need or something else if its love remember if we really love some one we have to set them free and if they come back they were ours if not they never was and i am not saying its easy but you will find out a lot when you start putting things down on paper other words you have to get down to the root of the problem and when we see then we are able to start getting over it and we understand a lot better what was making us feel and make decisions based on the way we were feeling and its usually not the results we were seeking hope this might help Delbertc

  • I had an angel's reading done not so long ago. I would like to share with you this paragraph from my reading -

    " Talk to the Higher Power, talk to your angels. Ask for their intervention. For they cannot help you if you don't ask. Share your innermost feelings. Ask for help. Be the best you can be. And when you do that, you will set into motion your "you-ness" into the universe and reverberates back to you. You will be surrounded by happy people. Loving people. People you want in your inner circle. Let go, put out all of your desires and let the Universe work on them behind the scene."

    Hope it makes sense to you.

    All the best.

  • A lot of times when were in our grips of what ever is going own with us we make decisions base own our fears or emotions and sometimes we hurt peoples feeling or say things we did not mean or do and we need to make amends for what we have done but if we dont understand were it comes from we will repeat it. One time i screamed at my daughter and i was angry and i apologized for it then it happen again and i apologized again and she said dad you apologized but you do the same thing again and she was right and when i got to the root of it ,i was doing that based on fear i did not know how to deal with so i latch out in anger because i did not know what else to do i learned alot from that situation i can not fix every thing i do not know every thing and i learn to try to release with love by telling her that i loved her and how it hurt me to not be able to understand what was going own with her and it helped us form a better relation ship Delbertc ( time for me to go to bed )

  • Forgive me here but I just had to comment. I too have a difficulty in letting go; however coming from a great christian family this term always comes to my thoughts, "Let go and let God". I am finding that it is harder than it seems. I try really hard everyday to let my worries of this life go and struggle to find happiness. I have almost begun to think that having a miserable life is my destiny. I do believe that I am a good person but not one wthout mistakes and bad judgement calls and just down right mean at times, I ask myself is this my Karma coming back to me? I just know that my thoughts eat me alive and sometimes I wish I couln;t think, feel or even be coherent enough to make a sound choice. Letting go and letting God is what I try to do each day.. Praying, meditating, and just even trying mind blocking techniques is a struggle.

  • Lucinda,

    That is exactly how I feel...100%. Last night i had an emotional dumping as i call it... I just broke down and cried....I vented to a friend of mine...talking about how miserable I am and all that blah bla bla....and then I apologized. I realized then that I was "feeling sorry" for myself. Wallowing in my own sadness rather than letting it go.

    Before I had me emotional release yesterday I decided that lately when ive been listening to the radio or just general songs on my ipod certain messages seem to make sense or stand out... like they keep repeating in my head long after the song is over. Yesterday I decided to write them all down. And then to gain another perspective on it I sent this piece of paper to a friend and asked them too look at it see if there were any patterns, or just notice some kind of vibe based on what was there. What this friend came back on was clearly much deeper than what I saw. I saw the surface struggles and confusion. He was able to see something deeper in those words that really struck home when he told me what he saw.

    I guess one of my big struggles at the moment is my marriage and what is best for me. Physically it is taking a tole on me with all the stress. I keep trying to give it up to where ever it goes for guidance, or I ask my guides to hold my hands and help me through this. What it comes down to I guess is that I still need to eventually make a decision. I am trying very hard at my marriage, but it seems like we are too different. For so long i have given up my life for someone else. It is really hard for me to find the balance between what is best for me and being "selfish".

  • Captain,

    That really did make sense to me.... I re read it a few times to make sure that I understood it because you seemed concerned about that 🙂 and each time I got the same thing from it.

    But what happens when a decision falls between that area of the big picture and the things you can control. I know my decision is mine alone, and no one else can make it for me, but yet at the same time I feel like it is more of a big picture kind of thing.

    I dont know if that makes any sense. I've been trying really hard not to focus on needing to make a decison, and knowing that at some point I'll know what that is. But at the same time I feel this pressing urge to hurry up and figure it out.

  • Mom2jess, we actually already know all the answers deep inside us and can access them through going within. Often the real problem though is not finding the answer, but acting on what we know we have to do.

  • As I started to picture the trees in the storm, the answer began to dawn on me. The trees in the storm don't try to stand up straight and tall and erect. They allow themselves to bend and be blown with the wind. They understand the power of letting go. Those trees and those branches that try too hard to stand up strong and straight are the ones that break.

    Yesterday is gone, tomorrow is yet to come, Live for the day and only the day!


  • momjes, I am truely feeling it for you. I know what it is like feeling being trapped in a marriage, however on the opposite side, I have been struggling with "did I make the right descion". I divorced my husband, and 2 years hav gone bye and I miss him, I miss all of it the stress, the lifes confusion actually having someone there that loves me unconditionally, who was really my best friend, even though he didnt always tell me what I thought he should. PRIDE, is a killer in alot of relationship issues I have learned..... Just take it from someone who know, ask yourself what kind of life you dont want verses what you do.. I never thought I would be continually lonely and all by myself at my age and never hearing the phone ring and having the games I play on the enternet being literally my best friend.. Just before you make the choice to leave make dang sure your prepared for the aftermath of divorce... trust me it is not all as rosey as everyone will tell us it can be.. yes freedom we will have but for Ive had freedom way to long and the sad thing is.. we cant go back it doesnt matter how hard we try we just cant go backkk.. Just food for thought.. good luck

  • I understand the struggle. I have been there. I think I posted in other threads before. I was single (not in a relationship) for a 7 years after a break up with the man I love. The freedom was cool but there were lonely times too. During those years, thoughts came to my mind if it was a retribution, if it was meant to be that I should lead my life alone etc etc. There were lots of IFs. Not that I didn't have any other suitable candidates in that 7 years period but my heart was just not open for love. It was frustrating. Some guys thought that I was not into guys lol! Believe me, I tried. I was brought up to believe that if I want something in life, I should work for it. Go for my dreams. It does not mean whenever I pray to angels or the higher power. I should stop doing the work. No way. They are around to assist and to give guidance but we must do our part to make things happen.

    I know it is not easy. It was never easy. After 7 years of being alone, I met this guy. On that instant, I fell in love again. I have no idea why it has to be him and why it was taking that long but I believe there is a reason for everything. Maybe during that 7 years, I was not totally healed from the all the hurt of the previous break up? I don't know.

    Wishing you all the best, momjes. Keep thinking of good things. I will be thinking of you too.

    Good luck!

  • GemTwin,

    I get the tree bending in the wind... but for some reason this time my gut, heart, and soul tell me it is finally time to stand up. My marriage was mentally abusive for quite a long while, and I was the tree that always bends and gives. Now i'm learning to stand up for myself. So i have a lot of struggles there too....When do I stand up and voice my concerns/issues and when do I give in? I'm slowly learning to be the strong person that I really am. So I need to learn and practice standing up for myself when I need too and letting go when I dont need to stand up strong. I think the tree image might work for me... The tree knows when it needs to be strong, and yet it knows when to bend as well. hmmmm lots more to think about

  • Emergence,

    I'm wondering if I share the problem you had... not being ready to love. But the thing is I feel as though I have a wall up for my husband, but i feel as though I am open to other people. I am in personal therepy, and I have learned to identify a lot of things in my life and understanding signs of distress before they become overwhelming. For example. I am supposed to listen to my body...when my muscles tense or relax identify what is causing that reaction in my body. I know from the signs i get now that I need to make a change and make it quick....I just cant continue like i am... my health is already suffering because of the stress. I also have realzied a lot of my problems in my marriage sort of come from my learned behavior as a child. They say you pick partners that are closely related to your parents in behaviors. That is what I did without knowing it. I had a fairly miserable childhood/teen years and hated the way my life was, and yet I picked the same thing in my husband without seeing it. I see now I react EXACTLY like my mom did when my dad got upset. My therapist describes it as double pain. When my husband does something that hurts me emotionally it also triggers the memories of the pain from my childhood. So rather than just feeling the current pain I feel the past pain as well. I'm not sure that will ever change for me, because what I learned as a child has become an instinct. I believe the only way I can stop that is if I can remove myself from the painful behavior and actions. I also believe that now that I know my next relationships will be different if i choose to move on. I no longer will lay down and be treated like a door mat.

  • Lucinda,

    What you mentioned is 100% I think why i havent yet filed for divorce. How do i know its the right choice? What i want above all is for a "safe" relationship... somewhere I want to come home to. I want someone that "knows me" if that makes any sense. After 10 years of marriage I feel as though my husband doesnt even really know me. I really dont know how to describe that, but things he should know he doesnt. For example... since i was a kid i have always hated whistling... like people who try to whistle a song or tune. To me it is the same as nails on a chalkboard it makes my hair stand up and all i wanna do is scream SHUT UP! Still after us being together for 13 years (including dating) and knowing I hate whistling he still does it. I feel like every day I have to retrain him, and that he doesnt really "learn" my likes or dislikes, but rather does things that he "thinks" i should like. The other thing is I do have my two girls.... so i know i wont be completely alone, and I am confident that if I choose to move on I truely can move on. I have a wonderful personality and I'm a great person (Why does that sound brag like LOL)

    Where that leaves me... Still scared to make a choice.... make a mistake... take the leap. This is why everyone tells me to let it go to the higher power. But as much as I try I just dont seem to be seeing a higher power doing much LOL... Maybe i'm not patient enough, or i'm blind to the signs I do see.

  • Hi momjess,

    I am sorry to hear about your distress. Although our situation might be different now, I think I can relate with your childhood. I have more downs that up when I was a child. Abandonment, betrayal, hatred etc etc. I have posted my life story a few times in other threads in this forum. I was also told by few others here that I am not totally healed from all the pain in the past and that is influencing my life and my relationships right now.

    I am still on my way. I am still working on letting go of the past and let myself heal from all the pain. I really thought I did when I decided to move away to another country 10 years ago, leaving all the pain behind. I guess I did leave everything behind but what was inside me and the wound from those pain still need to be treated and cured. The first step I took is acknowledging the wound and the pain. I am working on them now. I hope I can heal totally and start a new chapter in my life again without any trace of hurt from the past. I do feel much better now, I am sure of it. I am taking baby steps and with the determination I have, I will be okay one day. I really want to and I believe I can.

    Life is full of choices. Some of the choices are hard to make LOL. I have never talked to angels before in my life but I just started recently. Angelreader advised me to call for Archangel Michael for help and guidance. It was awkward in the beginning as I didn't know how to or what to say! But now, I talk to him everyday, anytime whenever I feel like talking. I don't leave everything to him or the higher power to solve my problems. Instead, I ask him for guidance, for signs on what to do. I learned how to listen to the inner voice and trust my intuition. It really helps.

    I wish you all the best momjess. Anytime you need to talk to someone or to lean on, you can count on me. I am not a psychic, just someone who is willing to share your pain.

    Angel hugs to you.

    x x x

  • momjess,

    I started this thread about a week ago, you might want to check it out.

    Forgiving and forgetting (letting go)

    Good luck.

  • You know i always thought you thought yourself into right action but i found that when i acted my self into right thinking i get better results sounds backwards doesn't it ? Its like trying to get over a relationship but every time i call her she makes me mad or hurts my feelings or tells me she still cares so when am i going to get over this its killing me ! (When i quit calling) is the first step then I need to see why i keep calling is it i still love her then i need to remember what love is ( giving of ones self with out expecting anything in return is true love) or is it i need her and if it is i need to find out why and here is were honesty of self comes into play. Most of the time i do not like looking at me cause it does not feel good and i do not like what i see and its easer to blame someone else or something besides looking at me .Mom2jess i say this with love if your marriage is own the rocks over whistling then you really need to find out why that is causing you so much pain what is it stemming from?If you heard it from anyone else it would irritate you and this will go own the rest of your life unless you get to the root of the problem. We really do not realize how much a problem like that causes us to adjust to the problem. You associate it with whistling how many times you walk into a room and your husband is whistling and you turnaround and walk out p-i-ss-ed off? Think about the action afterwards think about how many times it has affected you and your decisions afterwards it is robbing you of your peace of mind your happiness your serenity and it goes on &on and some times its painful to get to the root of the problem but always ask your power to guide you and give you strength to do it and face that fear that is blocking you from enjoying the life and happiness you seek and doing this you will find Truth it unlocks a life you only dreamed of and if i can help you get there i am here to help. Delbert c

  • Delbert,

    That is one of the things I am working on right now... when i feel a reaction trying to figure out where it really stems from. My marriage isnt on the rocks because of whistling... There is a boat load of things. For me the whistling thing represents the fact that he knows it bothers me, yet continues to do it. (and there are plenty more examples) I have moments of clarity where it seems like a light shines on a certain thing and I just know what about it really bothers me and where the root of my problem is in that area. It certainly is like an onion with little layers upon layers of things that lead from one to the next. I am making progress though in my own development and that makes me happy. Just last week i instinctually stood up for myself, and put him in his place in a very respectful way. At the time i was very nervous about it for an unknown reason, but now it gives me strenght...I see that I am no longer going to get run over in the relationship. It is time now for me to stand up and fight for me and my emotional well-being.

    But you are sooo right that if something irritates me i change the way i make decisions, and it is robbing me of my peace of mind. I usually let it go very quickly. But i think what i have really done is supress my irritation or the emotion that goes with it, and its finally just starting to pile up so high I cant do it as much.

    I think it was TheCaptian that mentioned we all know the answers inside of us. I feel I do know my answer, but something is keeping me from acting on it. That is one thing I cant seem to go near in my mind... I keep tyring to look deeper... see why I dont act on it, but its like i bounce off of something and go on a different track and get distracted.

    Ive tried not worrying about it.. knowing in the end I'll see the answer clearly if i let the universe work this out, yet at the same time I feel like I cant do it much longer... I'm starting to wonder if I am fighting my guiding force here... and if that is really where all my stress is coming from.

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