What does my future hold with this connection



  • i have a significant other of alot of years and someone has crossed my path recently, well a couple years ago, someone that i feel is a divine connection. we have talks that we call therapy for each other, i feel he feels the same, but is married. we are around each other alot and have alot in common, but arent opposites supposed to attract. i keep imaging my life with this person, or even sharing some secret moments, but am worried it could turn into something bad, but still feel this connection. i cant avoid him, but can i stop this feeling? what do you thinks gonna happen. please help.



  • Hi, I don't know if I can offer any advice but it maybe an idea to keep a personal diary. Then when you look back you maybe able to define the reality from the fantasy and smile at how good he made you feel.

    It would be wonderful if this was the 'man'. He may be just seeing you as a friend. I can understand how you are cautious and worried that it could turn into something bad. But you cant help yourself thinking about him all the time if that is the way you feel. Just be aware that he is human and don't build him up into Prince Charming too much. Develop the friendship - we all need friends.



  • thanks for the comments, you are right



  • Unfortunately, our feelings can lead us into the space between reality and fantasy, and during that time we may do certain actions that have a huge impact on reality. I think your emotions are telling you that you need this person in your life, but you have the responsibility of putting that person in the right place for you in your life. You must first figure out your present relationship. The grass always looks greener on the otherside until you get there, and sometimes it is too late to go back. I have had this problem before, I almost made the plunge into the green grass until I realized what I would be loosing and probably wouldn't get it back, and I just couldn't live with that decision. I wish you good fortune and send my prayers with you on this matter.



  • turn the fantasie into reality. you can do this with him, but care for all the people around you. Like family etc. you are lucky he is willing to talk to you all the time, keep it up.



  • Everthing happens for a reason , maybe the relationship you have has lost it's sparkle , and this person gives you a chance to communicate thoughts you would not share with your significant other , however it may be time to move on and find a new love.While opposites attract ...like minded stay together , all the opposites are in the divorce stats we see on a daily basis. Sorana



  • charlotte123 you are funny. You made me get a new wrinkle from laughing. I mean this in a good way. here it is sept. and I am still in the same situation. Not bad, I think things are heating up a bit. we have actually had a chance to have a meaningful discussion about our feelings, and he just doesn't want to risk losing his kids. I feel mutual, but I want to wait until the time is right. He pretty much bluntly said, dont you think I want the same thing. We both have satisfying sex im sure, but what are we thinking could be better. I have never felt this way before. I feel like a school girl, just experimenting. HELP! There are so many people in this world, why this guy has a hold on me, I don't inderstand.Sorana, everything does happen for a reason, for me its going to happen in another season,lol. I have nothing else to do until then. I know his feelings are mutual, if they weren't I wonder what i would be doing. Scorpionwoman thanks for the prayers. Someone please reply back. Thanks.



  • Okay, I'm gonna get right to the point. Have any of you stopped to consider the," significant other" during all of this daydreaming, and wishful thinking. More to the point, liscious, what if the tables were turned and it was your partner who is in the position you are, how would you feel if your partner went outside of your relationship and was talking about you to another woman? Having an affair does not always involve taking off your clothes. Relationships are a sacred bond and when we agree to be committed it is suppose to be through anything in life, even the geatest temptations. I hate to come off all high and mighty, cause heaven knows I have certainly had my own challenges in my life and I am not trying to come off better than anyone else who posted here, but, I gotta say if I was the the partner involved in this triangle I would be devastated if I found out someone else was scratching my partners itch, (and I don't mean literally).

    My advice, take all this energy you are putting into fantasizing about this guy and put in into your current relationship, work with your partner to try to re-spark things and if you can't, most likely you will both agree you should move on. No one, including your partner wants to live in a dissatsifying, loveless existence.

    If I may I would like to add one other tidbit. DON't tell your current partner about the feelings you have for this other person. It will break him into pieces (this I know from experience) and furthermore ruins your chances of working things out. Not to mention he does not deserve to be tortured with the information that you had a spark with someone else. Let this other person go completely, his postion in your life even as a friend is unacceptable because you know you both have the hots for eachother and seeing him as a friend would greatly increase the chance of you both crossing the line.



  • I listened to you tell me that my s.o. would be devastated, well, I guess I did forget to tell you one important thing. When we were younger, I was cheated on by him. More than once. This person I have tried to block out of my mind because I was devastated, but the hard part was that I found out after we were together 16 years. Shame on me for being so blind. But then I have kids too and decided to get past it. I never will forget,but I don't think Im feeling this way out of retaliation, but I am treated fairly well by the other. My s.o. does nothing with me. For me to have a good time, and not sexually means I do it alone, whatever it ,may be.We grew apart over the years and now its like I know we still love each other, but we are not in love. The same goes for the other. He says the same thing. I am just stuck. I am sorry for seeming so insensitive, but the more I talk the more reasons I imagine why I must leave, but I don't think I ever will, I am threatened alot with words that is.maybe I need someone to vent to, because I really don't have any one else. No one I can trust with these things I am going through. I do thank you for taking the time to listen and respond. Hopefully someday, I will make some sense and decision.


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