Forgiving and forgetting (letting go)



  • lovingsilverwings,

    I understand where that is coming from - FORGIVE MYSELF.

    Ironically, we are the worst critics when it comes to ourselves.

    We tend to be "softer" to others but we are often "hard" on ourselves.

    We can easily forgive others but we procrastinate when it comes to forgiving ourselves....

    Blessings to you too



  • Slyvannah,

    Yes, we cannot change things. Whatever happened are all in the past and we have no way to change them. It is easy to forgive but hard to forget. I guess we can never forget the past but we can let it go. No more grudges and no more negative feelings. I don't forget those who have hurt me very deeply because I just can't ( unless I am in coma or something!) but I have forgive them and let it go. I don't forget but I do not wish to be reminded either.

    Lots of love to you.



  • Hi sista Sunshine,

    Thank you for dropping by!

    It is tough to forgive especially when you are cut real deep. I was there once, it took me 8 years to forgive someone related to me. I thought i could never forgive that person for what she had done to me. But I have finally forgiven her and I have free myself from reminiscing the past and what she had done. I don't forget the incident but I have let it go. After 8 years, we are in talking terms now. We don't rake up the past anymore. We let it go and I love her for the person she is right now. It takes time.....

    Blessings to you.



  • Thank you Emergence

    Those are really good articles and at a time when I really need them. Thank you for posting them.



  • shadowmist,

    Anytime my friend 🙂

    Glad these articles are beneficial to you.

    I will be posting more if I stumble on good ones.

    Enjoy reading!

    Lots of love and be safe.



  • You are right emergence, it is sometimes the hardest to forgive oneself, and I think that is partially my issues within. My younger children's father is an alcoholic, he gets confrontational and sometimes physical when he is "in his cups". Many years I tried to deal positively with him, but after nearly 8 years of ridiculous behavior, having police come to my home, spectacles before my neighbors and the children, I kicked him to the curb. I am a private person, my home is my escape from the world, and feeling that he "polluted" my home with all that negativity created in my mind, a powerful negative feeling towards him, where even 4 years later, he still wants to come around and I feel negative vibes everytime he comes around. I have not found it easy to forgive him, especially since he can't seem to stop bringing the drama with him, and keeps getting arrested for drinking issues. My kids are all confused because he comes and goes so much, that helps fuel my ugly attitude. I am getting better by learning in here and focusing on what so many other people have gone through. I don't think that my forgiving should include allowing him to come back into my home to freeload (he drinks up his money and I end up supporting him as well as the kids), or to create more havoc and mayhem, but i can forgive his weakness in regards to drinking. I can feel sorry for him because while he remains drunk or in jail, he has no opportunity to progress or enlighten himself, that must be a hell within itself to know you are destroying yourself for nothing. I can see where my mind was in hindsight where he was allowed to enter my life, so therefore, that has influenced changes in me to avoid attracting similar people.

    Sorry I rambled on so, this is a topic that never seems to exit my life for long, (he keeps trying to come back). Hopefully this can help someone to not go where I have gone.

    Blessings!

    Sunshine



  • Sista Sunshine,

    I applaud you for taking the big step in protecting yourself and getting rid of the negativity vibes that is caused by your child's father. Like you, my home is my sanctuary, my escape. I would not let anyone come in and pollute the atmosphere that will destroy the safety feeling it gives me.

    Listen to your heart. You have been doing great all these years. Maybe you will be able to forgive him one day, maybe you won't but whatever you do, it has to come from your heart. No point of forcing things.

    Keep doing what you are doing and positivity will surrounds you and your home.

    Lots of love,



  • Forgiving is sometimes the hardest thing. Especially when it effects so many lives and really has a negative impact on yours but never forget. Keep it always in the back of your mind and remove yourself from whatever could keep reminding you.Being constantly reminded never lets you heal. Makes forgiveness that much harder. So remove yourself completely from the situation. That way you can move beyond the whole situation. But never forget, cause if you do, you won't have learned the important lesson that came with it. Constant reminders are just as painful as the original deed so get away from it but don't let the lesson be lost. You never know when another situation could arise where you might need that info. Don't let yourself go through the same thing all over again. I forgave my friend but I will never go anywhere with her again. She has changed so I don't think that she would ever do that again but I will never let myself be put in that situation again.



  • Hi all,

    For those who are still trying to forgive, hope this might be beneficial to you:)

    Lots of love from a friend x x x

    5 steps towards Forgiveness

    1. Cultivating awareness that while you do not have control over someone else’s behaviors, thoughts and feelings, you DO have a choice in how you think and feel about the situation. Awareness brings balance and allows us different ways of perceiving a situation in ways that serve our highest good.

    2. Recognizing that as individuals we think, feel, and act based on our own choice. This means if someone treats you a certain way – it’s NOT your fault. Each of us makes a personal choice in terms of how we treat others (and how we are treated), and when someone treats you in an unkind or disregarding kind of way, this is the choice he or she has made independently of you.

    3. Taking a situation into consideration in which you have not been honored is a tough deal. It’s important once we realize we have been treated unkindly that we DESERVE to be treated with love and respect. However, it’s important to realize that treating others kindly becomes a reciprocal event and something that takes continuous effort to keep in balance.

    4. Know that you control how others are treating you. Cultivate clarity in relationships by determining your personal self worth and the boundaries needed to preserve it.

    5. Love yourself, value yourself and respect yourself. Others will naturally follow your lead.



  • Thank you for advising what you do, Emergence. It's eye-opening and helpful.

    Honor to you,

    Texture



  • “Mother love is the fuel that enables a normal human being to do the impossible.”

    HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY TO ALL MY (LADIES) FRIENDS!

    Lots of love,

    x x x



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  • Hello Zephire,

    Thank you so much for your post. I really appreciate it very much. Thank you for consulting your husband on this matter too.

    Honestly, I am very interested in Astrology but I am confused by this Nodes stuff. I need to do some research on it. I see that you have posted a valuable infos above too. Thank you again for that.

    I was confused by it because my ex, who is a Taurus are having the same issues as me at this moment. I am a Sagittarius.

    His karma reading and mine are pointing us at the same aspects.

    Taurus sign: (old patterns)


    Scorpio sign: (new possibilities):

    • Opinionated……………………………….....................Sexual

    • Greedy…………………………………….......................Understands power

    • Fearful…………………………………….......................Magnetic

    • Retentive……………………………………....................Self-controlled

    • Lazy………………………………………........................Intense

    • Materialistic……………………………….....................Passionate

    • Indulgent……………………………………....................Strong-willed

    • Jealous……………………………………….....................Piercing

    • Stubborn…………………………………….....................Investigative

    • Fearful of change……………………………................Ingenious

    • Slow…………………………………………......................Deals with death

    • Overvalues self……………………………...................Confrontational

    • Undervalues self……………………………..................Loves Mysteries

    • Stingy………………………………………......................Creative

    Both of us are going through deep changes now, you can called it spiritual awakening. This break up is good for us (lol, it took me months to finally able to say this). He is working on his fear and commitment issues. I hope he will find his way back to love and let himself surrounded by people who loves him. His past relationship scarred him so deep that it was not easy for me to have a relationship with him. He was too close up.

    As for me, the drastic life changing experience during the past months really leads me to another path in life. I can say the life changing journey is already starting. It is changing me inside and out. I feel like a new person exploring a new world now. By getting involved in Reiki since a few weeks ago certainly helps me a lot.

    Anytime, you have advice for me or my ex, you are definitely welcome to share them with me. I am a learning and this new path is still new to me. All helps are welcome.

    Funny, a few months ago, I was searching for helps and answers. But I have stopped doing it a while back and now all the help and guidance I am receiving from everyone are coming to me by themselves. I am so blessed to meet people like you.

    I have another active thread "New Moon and Mercury retrogrades". It would be great if you can join us there whenever you want to.

    Have a great Sunday!

    Lots of love,

    x x x



  • Emergence,

    your articule came in at a time where i personally need it so much,

    i am trying to let go of a hurtful matter,

    thank you very much!

    may the universe bless u immensely!

    ramonita

    p.s

    i am not going to read it, i am going to devore the information!



  • Hi Ramonita,

    I am glad this thread helps you. You are welcome.

    If you need support, feel free to visit the other thread of mine

    "New Moon and Mercury Retrogrades."

    We have a great support from one another in there, everyone is going through pain and hurt.

    If there is anything you need my help with, let me know.

    I cannot offer much but I can do my best to help in anyway I possibly can.

    Be strong and all the best.

    Lots of love.

    x x x



  • Tips for a Healther You

    To forgive is like untying a knot. By truly forgiving, you enable your body to untangle the knots that have been living inside you. Here are five tips for freeing yourself from the chains of anger in favor of turning the bad tides to good ones.

    1. Tell your story to someone who will listen and love, whether that's a trusted friend, relative, stranger or to yourself in the comforts of your most silent moments. The goal is to get the story out of your system. This doesn't mean waging an angry diatribe, it means a gentle recounting of what happened and how it affected you. Everyone deserves to be heard, this is your way to do it in a helpful instead of harmful way.

    2. Feel the pain. It's crucial to experience your feelings so that you can ultimately pass through them. Avoid beating yourself up. Instead, simply feel with the intent of experiencing your way through and out of the pain.

    3. Forgive yourself and then others. Accept that you're not perfect, nor are they. As living beings we are prone to moments of greatness and those not so stellar ones too. Forgive them and yourself for being human.

    4. Paint a different picture. Use the experience as an opportunity to see things in a new and positive light as opposed to getting stuck in the tragedy. The moment is over. It's time for you to get past it.

    5. Grow by appreciating the lessons learned from the situation and the potential for a new path. Life events change us on many levels. You can resist that fact or flourish because of it. When you're ready, share your newfound compassion with the person that once wronged you. You will both feel a whole lot better in the end.



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  • Emergence!

    a update,

    I have been following the articule, little by little, and i can honestly say to go,

    that i have noticed that my anger has decreased alot, i will continue step by step and

    day by day,

    it is something that happen with a family member, which hurts much more, than if the outsider

    cause the hurt but i know i have to move on and live the rest of my earthly journey in peace and happy;

    i truly say to you that i am eternally grateful to you for submitting the articule!

    may the universe bless you each day more,

    and thank you for offering your help!

    for i feel truly blessed to have found this forum with so many marvellous soul!

    thank you a million times!

    ramonita!



  • Thanks emergence!! I just posted something asking for this exact thing - I have printed it out and will be reading at LENGTH!!!! Just at the right time too!