Weird Dream last night



  • Once again thats exactly what im goin threw but i dont wanna do somethin that she dosent want for herself in my mind im thinkin she should life it up but if i do it i probally can get away with it but unless she will do it for herself i feel bad for doin i think it would make me a creep or sumthin



  • Regain from your childhood a capacity to dream -- something which you began life with. But which, by and by, became eroded with cynicism and the fear of being thought naive and unworldly.



  • I fear that my heart when opend wont be accepted an then i dont wanna even put it out there so i just act like evrythings fine when it really isnt i would love to break down her door lol but i wont do it unless she wants me to i get tired of having to go all out and shes holding back but that makes me think shes not holding back shes just not interested but she seems like she is



  • But the beginning is the end, because the beginning contains the end. The first step is also the last step.



  • When I was younger, I used to have the dream where you are falling and you always wake up before you land. I always landed 1st, What does that mean?



  • It means disappointment. Your unconscious showed you your being disappointed, which you in your waketime did not want to be aware of.

    But you should not be a replica, not a repetition. Be a new song, a new dance, a new beginning, always and always.



  • curious... what do you catch from me, hanswolfgang?

    your stories are interesting.



  • Once you recognize and admit your wound, walls tumble down and others can get through to offer the balm you need for healing.

    You think you could possess the world by external richness but still you are feeling emptiness everywhere.

    Everyone is unique, utterly unique. There has been no person like you before, and there will never be a person like you again. God has taken this form for the first time and the last time, so there is no need to try to become special, you already are. If you are trying to be special you will become ordinary. Your very effort is rooted in misunderstanding. It will create confusion, because when you try to become special you have taken one thing for granted—that you are not special. You have become ordinary already. You have missed the point.



  • ok. Well I haven't had any of those for years. I have had a couple of dreams since that one but by noon, I have forgotten them. But I can still tell you that one. It was so vivid. Either way, the outcome was good and I have "seen the light" (so to speak) The only sin I still have/do, is my smoking. But if my daughter stays like this, then that will be gone soon too. I don't lie, cheat, or steal cause remember, do unto others... I'd have to say that smoking IS my only sin. If I was rich, I could get a nanny and wouldn't need to smoke. lol I don't think I would ever get a nanny. Perhaps a sitter for every once in a while.Well, the only other thing might be, our speed limit on my road is 30mph. It ticks me off when people get right on my ass, I will tell my daughter to hold on cause when I turn, I will slam on my brakes It makes me so mad when people speed on my road cause it's littered w/ bus stops and when there is no school, it is littered w/ kids. None of the neighbors will petition for soeed humps (cause they don't wanna slow down) so what else can I do? I've thought about throwing nail apikes in the road and I am planning to call the traffic people to put more speed limit signs. There are never any cops on my road (unless I wanna speed lol) I always forget until it's after 5p. I've been meaning to do that for years! I am actually pretty content right now. I am broke but that's ok.



  • Existential living means each moment has to decide on its own. Life is atomic! You don’t decide beforehand, you don’t rehearse; you don’t prepare how to live. Each moment comes, brings a situation; you are there to respond to it— you respond.



  • I have bean dealing with things as they happen. My ex is now being a jerk to me because I took the coffe cups that I have bought. Now he can't take coffee with him in the mornings. I asked him simply why he hasn't jusy bought himself one? He said that he didn't take anything from me and I told him that he couldn't. He hasn't bought me anything. Normally, none of this would even bother me but I am worried about the stuff and 2 cats I have over there. He will get drunk and I don't know what kind of stupid stuff he would do. But if he does anything stupid, I will take everything I bought and he will have to go buy clothes just to go to work the next day. I wish I didn't have any ties to him and let him fall and fail all by himself. I don't like worrying about anything like this. I took my cat over there so my dogs wouldn't kill him and I saved a kitten. He still considers that cat as mine even though we both brought him home. He has threatened me (tonight actually) to throw my cat over my fence. He will get away from my dogs but that is cruel. Especially over coffee cups!He is an 8 yr. old stuck in a 40 yr. old body. I left him cause of all his immature drunkiness and I still can't get away! He will have to sober uo one day and I hope he can remember all the stupid crap he did. But I am still going to have a good night and hopefully a better tomorrow. But like I said earlier, have to deal w/ things as they happen so hopefully, all my plans for tomorrow won't change. I'll still do what I was planning, I just hope I don't have any extra unpleasant things I have to do.



  • hanswolfgang,

    if the reply underneath mine was meant for me, i dont see how. i shant justify myself for what is just a vibe, but i understand that physical things in life are not what makes happiness and fulfillment. really not looking for physical comfort. everyone is different, and i see ppl who, as you say try to be special. thru them, i learned that its a waste of time and energy ad annus praeterant. thank you for your time and consideration, and for the information.



  • Hans i just dont think this girl feels the same for me as i do for her wich is why i cant trust her but its really hard to deny the love i already feel so im trying just to ignore it hardest part is knowing that i feel and cant share it so i spend my time giving it to a bunch of girls who i feel like they deserve it



  • sylvannah,

    BUT AS A BLADE OF GRASS HELD AWKWARDLY

    MAY CUT YOUR HAND,

    SO RENUNCIATION MAY LEAD YOU INTO THE DARK.



  • CuriousitykilledKiki

    There is a Zen saying that the birds have no desire to be reflected in the lake, the lake has no desire to reflect the birds, but it still happens. The birds are reflected, the lake reflects, although the desire exists neither on the part of the birds nor on the part of the lake. In this desirelessness everything happens, nothing is done.



  • Siriuslupine

    Life is a gift of god -- never forget it. Everybody

    has forgotten it. Nobody is thankful to god for life.

    On the contrary people are continuously complaining.

    They are not grateful. Such a precious gift, such an

    incomparable, unique gift, but people are so stupid

    that they can't appreciate it. They take it for

    granted, as if it were their right. It is not our

    right, we cannot claim it. We don't deserve it, we are

    not worthy of it. It is given to us not because we

    deserve it, but because god cannot resist the

    temptation of giving it. He has to share it: he is

    overflowing with life energy, he does not know what to

    do with it, hence he goes on showering it. Worthy,

    unworthy, deserving, undeserving, sinners, saints; it

    does not matter, god goes on giving. That is his

    intrinsic nature. He gives because he has so much that

    if he does not give it it will become a burden on him.

    He is like a cloud full of rainwater, it has to rain.

    It will rain on the stones, it will rain on the rocks,

    it will rain anywhere. It has to rain.

    And this is love.



  • I'm sorry. I don't understand. Reunification with what? I don't like pure darkness. I need something illuminated. Whether it be the moon, stars, or a candle.



  • Hi Siriuslupine. I just wanted to go back to the original dream and put my two cents in.

    If it where I dreaming the dream I would first ask myself how I feel about bats in general. Now me, I'm wierd and have always thought bats were strangely cute and fantastic creatures. So I would be thinking "Gee, what situtation am I facing right now that is strangely cute and fantastic but I'm feeling the need to protect myself from it, or fend it off?"

    9 times out of 10, by taking this route, I get my answer.



  • Sylvannah,

    Reunification with what? The way is blocked for reunification, but renunciation would you lead in the dark also, so try to find the middle between contact and withdrawal. Find your natural rhythm. Get in contact when you really feel like and withdraw yourself again, when you need it.

    Yes, it is walking on fire when you go towards truth.



  • i see what your saying, but i cant apply it anywhere. there is no desire, nor tendency towards the pentacle plain. you must be tired of people trying to argue with you. i shall keep an eye for it.


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