Feeling under attack



  • Thanks for sharing your story Delbert. It touched my heart. I think it's great that your daughter brought your wife into you life. Out of the mouths of babes I suppose. I don't think a love will come my way in the future, truth is I'm sure not looking for one. I figure I have enough to handle. I don't mind being alone but I do hate feeling lonely. I miss the days when people were constantly dropping by my place that's how our home was years ago. My mom made that way and I kept it up, the door was always open, there was always room for one more and you're never alone we have room. It's nice to see there is hope in the future now if only I could flash forward and get passed the hurt. For now though thank you again for your consideration and loving words. I do consider those I've met here friends and you should know I'm particular about who I choose to have in my life. LOL Thanks for being there really.



  • RC thank you for being there for me sometimes we get wrapped up in our s-h-i and we forget the things that have happened in our liefs that was good i am kinda like you i met one lady in the last year and i was going to commit to have a relationship and we agreed. She kissed me one night before that and i pulled back it kinda took me by sup-prize i got home and i felt guilty even though i had been legally separated for over a year nearly any way after i agreed to commit to a relationship and she did to and i seen on the Internet were she ad been emailing about four or five different guys after we had agreed to have a relationship and i had told her i was taking myself off of the dating sights and she said OK then i seen that and i thought i am not even going there again so i dropped that so i really have not had a relationship with anyone and its been 15 months now my divorce becomes final the 12 of this month and i still do not like being alone or should i say sleeping by my self i am not alone i have my kids and grand kids and now you all in some ways its nice but others its not i guess our time will come when it suppose to hu. It would be hard for me now anyway not having a job just barley getting by and i am not use to that but i am adjusting whether i want to or not you know i really feel things are really fixing to start changing i hope its for the best it will be . You saying your home was like that my parents were like that to there was nine of us kids 7 boys and 2 girls and i am the only one my parents said i would not live to be 21 i was so wild .You know my mother ask me about when me and my wife started having problems if i wanted to talk about it and i told her no they really loved her and they went with us own our vacations more like best friends than parents but i was ashamed to tell my mother what my wife had been doing and i know my mother would of said she wouldn't do that i didn't think so either but things happen i sure miss them they have been gone now for about 6 years but every once in while i get a smell of my mother it happen about 3 times we had dinners all the time together at mothers and dads before they got sick my mother passed first then dad about 3 years later they were married 54 years and then every body just fell apart i have seen one brother in about 1 year the others about 2 years and we all live here close mother was the one who kept the family together had not thought of that in a long time see how much you help me i am glad you consider me a friend thats a honer and thank you well here i am up late again you have a great day tomorrow and sweet dreams Your Friend Delbert



  • Delbert I understand what you have gone through, me too. Change is not fun is it? I lost my parents twelve years apart. Mom went first and that loss was devastating. She had a heart condition but had been well and then suddenly in just two days she was gone. Being the youngest and only daughter I was a wreck. But I hear ya. My nephew who at the time was only 11 said to me that our family was like a closed fist, strong and united able to fight anything because we were as one. But when my mom died, it all blew apart each went their separate ways. My nephew threw open his fist to extend his fingers as far apart as he could in different directions and he said now that's us and I don't like it. At 11 he knew we needed to find our way back to a united front, we did but it took some time. We still have our moments but not like before. I think we all value each other just a little more now. When my dad died it was like we all got the wind knocked out of us. It still feels that way sometimes. I know now that had he lived it only would have been a short time longer but still we wish we'd had more time.

    Life goes on as they say. As for me, I have a long way to go so finding love is the last thing on my mind. I have to fix myself and find my path and make a life for myself. It's a healing process but it's going to take time. Naturally I want to rush it along, who wouldn't but I know I can't do that.

    Take care.

    RC



  • Hi RC its a pretty day here little windy but nice reading that brought tears i use to be ashamed for crying but if you ever lost the capacity to feel it makes you grateful to be able to feel and cry you know what i miss the most is my mothers cooking besides her .Her chicken and dressing i have made it several times but i just can not get it quite like she did i think its all that love she put into it hu I have this oven here in this camper it small and every thing i try cooking in there it burns so i do not use it .I made donuts here one morning you know out of biscuits and sugar syrup that 3 year old grand son really liked them so did the granddaughters they never had them i use to fix them a lot for the kids this was the first time in years .I had started cooking by the time i was 9 both mother and dad worked so me and that brother just older than me did the cleaning and cooking a lot and it sure has come in handy threw out my life but i enjoy cooking to i fix a pot of beans yesterday well i need to get busy on my taxes i have put off long enough have a good day Delbert


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