How to pursue a relationship?



  • I have longed to be in a relationship for a very long time, but never seem able to get close to a guy that I like. Now I'm in college and a little younger than most students, and there is one guy that I simply adore and wish to connect to more very soon. The problem is that, while we have a couple classes together, I find few opportunities to interact with him and feel shy whenever he's nearby. Does anyone have advice for steps that I should take in this situation or with pursuing relationships in general?



  • My main bit of advice is to smile & be friendly as much as possible with everybody. Men are attracted to confident, smiley girls. Take an interest in current news or sport....you need to be able to hold a fairly pleasant conversation. Bite the bullet & take up a hobby or sport that you could passionately pursue - you'll meet lots of people both sexes & will have a good time. As regards to this guy you adore....find out what he likes,eg football? cricket? archery? Next time you bump into him, say hello & make an appropiate comment - whether its the weather or a mention on how good the football on TV was the other night. Good luck.



  • Thanks for your thoughts! I'm definitely working on the first part more, and I appreciate how having a crush can actually help me grow as a person. I actually have a common interest with this guy, which is music... so there's something we could talk about, it's just a matter of finding more opportunity and taking it! Could you give me some ideas about having enough confidence to approach him, making a good impression when I do, etc.?



  • Thanks for this question !

    I think, 1st you should be his or her friend from your good heart.

    If he or she feels more than friend, the situation will change and maintain to know more than

    and if the good luck arrived.

    The finally, both of them will fall in love each other.

    Hope good luck to youu.

    Best greetings from BKK,

    Nanna -



  • How to get confidence? Wow, that's a hard question!!! Build up your relationship slowly - whenever you see him smile & say "hi"! Nanna is right - be friends first - don't appear to be desperate! Music is a good thing to have in common - try & attend the same concerts etc. Once you start chatting your confidence will grow & your relationship will develop. It won't necessarily happen overnight ...and he may be just as shy as you! Don't forget , you can meet love when you least expect it and not necessarily with who you think. So carry on wearing that smile,make friends and be passionate about whatever you enjoy doing ... the confidence will soon ooze from you.



  • Whimscore...confidence starts with believing you are worthy...deserving of all that is good...like you have to train your mind to say "I am worthy...this guy could benefit from having me as a friend, lover..." Now don't confuse confidence with conceit... To me, confidence is natural and good natured...you don't put anyone down to build yourself up...having a healthy self-esteem...and emphasis on "Self"...never base your esteem on how others feel about you...this guy may never see you in that relationship light but someone else will...don't be afraid...all he can say is he's not interested in you like that...but if you believe you're worthy...it will be a disappointment that you can get over...so start by building your confidence...don't create a crazy facade either...be you but be a more open and expressive/communicative you



  • Honey...just step up and talk to him.....that always works for me. We live in modern times now and it's allowed for females to take aggressive action and be the persuer



  • Dear Whimsycore,

    The way to get into a relationship is to talk, and hang out. Don't tell him you like him right away, cause if he doesn't feel the same way you may be very hurt. Talk to him, get to know him, and see if you two share the same interests or hobbies. But being younger doesn't exclude you from anything. One night, just call him up asking what the homework was, or a "do you get this" question. It works. Don't feel shy. I understand you can't help it, but if you open up, he may like you. Just be you and don't let anyone get in the way of that. Show him who you really are and he just might love that. 😃

    All my luck!



  • Aahhhh...the angst of youth! I SO understand where you are coming from....because I used to be you! I, too, have music interests, which helped me to be a little bit more gregarious I think. But I do remember the pain of being that shy, and fancying myself being in love with an unapproachable someone....pure torture, it was!

    You're receving some fabulous advice here, so far. Socrates' adage "know thy self" is good advice, and what better place to learn about yourself than here? Study you own chart and discover your strengths and weaknesses, and learn which signs you are most likely to be soul mates with. Use your head, before you let your heart take over, and make sure the person you are idolizing is worthy of YOU. Then, proceed by just being you, and let the chips fall where they may. it's important for you to appear to be comfotable in your own skin. Vibes of anxiety are a repellant to the opposite sex, for sure

    Men are generally attracted to women that are self-confident in themselves and know who they are and what they want. And clingy women are generally a turn-off. It should be apparent that you have a life that might be interesting to share... Friendliness and comradship are good points to start with. If your guy is interested, it shouldn't take too long for him to let you know.

    Just know that you should love you just fine, and don't expect to be everyone's "cup of tea", because you just can't be all things to all people. There are those that will adore YOU for just being you, and those that won't...that's just life, and nothing personal.

    Find a place to perform....jam session, karoke, music project, etc....and then invite your guy to come and listen. Performing generally builds confidence, and would be very attractive to another performer. Do other things that build confidence such as working out, being creative, blogging your personal rants, etc. Anything that helps you get in touch with and express the REAL YOU.

    As the others said, if your guy of choice doesn't take notice, others are sure to.

    Good luck!

    SRNC

    Astrology references:

    Linda Goodman's Love Signs

    Linda Goodman's Relationship Signs

    • excellent info in both

Log in to reply