Blmoon and Soapmaker sketches of family
Thought I would carry this over to see if I could get a response from the two of you. These are the sketches of family I was trying to get a read on. Any info you could convey would be appreciated.
This is 3 of 3
OH MY--was my reaction to first picture! oh my oh my! He is connected to the woman or someone just like her --a mirror image of all her challenges and problems--oil and water yet great great bond--tied together like mother and child--he brings out worst in her at times and she is steele resolved to not let it in but constant constant testing. He can be very manipulative charming and yet so opposite--narrow minded and unyielding. When cornered he cowers like child is week YET can turn on a dime--sting you with a sharp sharp word--betrays love easily. A very difficult man to live with let alone love. Such a contradiction within him. His father was very charismatic--ruggedly handsome--well traveled but couldn't stay long anywhere--a restless passionate man. The son in the picture has some of fathers traites with the exception of adventure--father loved to roam--strangers never bothered him--loved change--the son is weak in this respect--doesn't venture far--needs the security of ridged routine--hates change. His mother gives him this security but it is a love hate thing because he is castrated by it emotionaly--it perpetuates his immaturity. He is a little man of a big man--the father being big because of his presence bigger than life--gave impression not afraid of anything--sailed to foreighn exotic places that would scare others--see him even with native people. He did much wandering! His weakness was hidden under this shallow bravery as he was weak in that he was incapable of true intimacy! Love scared him--too many feelings sent him on his way--broke a lot of hearts. Nickname dirty rasckal by many. Yet when he reapeared in loved ones lives all forgiven--he was loved deeply by those driven to love what they could never own. Next picture tied to him--they are together closely--again bring out best and worst in each--great devotion yet always at odds. So different and different father yet this one his own man--doesn't really take after anyone else--makes mother wonder ---he is like an old soul--keeps others honorable and reminds others of soul purpose--slow to anger but huge temper when finally unleashed--has great physical strength--learns early that must contain temper because he can easily hurt others. Arguing is not his thing like theother man who uses words to manipulate--this man is imotionaly mature but has a big child heart--loves to play and is good at it--graceful and competitive--a winner when challenged. I hear what sounds like James or a J name. Protective of mother figure. Women do not measure up to mother. Both men never sourounded by large population--isolated--small world for them--this was a manifestation of mother's battle with closed fist thinking--holding on--this was HER contradiction--the life that demanded so much letting go. Neither man had strong father presence. A bit of emotional incest going on that stunted them. A joke amongst others.
Third picture stands apart--first image I get big question mark. Hear words can't figure him out. Again big question mark--he is detached in some way either physicaly or emotionaly. Also feel he is a different generation of the other two but see him with daughter. Man rules--hard nut to crack--hard to figure--hard to understand--again big question mark. Had a physical problem--suffered head injury when younger (kick by horse? something very forceful) almost died. He tells this story about meeting his maker--when he drinks gets full of himself--little man with big roar. Feels awkward around people--shy except when drinking. Feels persecuted and is suspiciouse. Believes in his own authority. I hear what sounds like Bertrain but don't recognize for sure Can't tell if its a name or related to trains. Also see a preacher near him even though he claims he has his own religion. He says the first picture the man was "Nelly". So he does have sense of humour! He says second man--gental giant--too good for this world.
I just reread and hope you don't get confused by the jumping in of the father between the two together as brothers. The father of the first picture was the wandering rasckal. Not a clear message that he was also father of second picture--feels like he was not.
PS--I do have another very strong message that keeps coming through but have held back because it is a taboo subject and am hoping you get it without me having to say it. Becauseit is a sensitive subject I also hesitate without knowing for sure myself because if it's wrong I would feel very irresponsable for putting it in print--still for an hour now the last gentleman in the picture insists to mention it so I'm going to just put it out there that there is a taboo pregnancy tied to the woman and the second male I suspect his father is a mystery because of this. There is a karmic tie between father and daughter and son and grandson--a repeated wound through lifetimes that keeps presenting itself. This is a strong thought that could be either fact OR something someone else is thinking so intently I'm picking it up.
Blmoon, wow you said a mouthful....I feel like I'm overworking you and that the room is spinning with information. I understand how you must feel with the crowd shouting out their messages. First let me say I have a few theories on the taboo subject matter and understand your caution. I want to try to meditate on it this weekend, all of it actually and see what I can clarify myself. If they all jump in on me like they did you I could be lost in the process. LOL When you said there is a karmic tie between father and daughter and son and grandson, did you mean all of them? Or as two separate pairs? I feel like that karmic tie is repeating itself in my world. I was told of the karmic connection to my own father by a psychic years ago. In my case I feel the connection continues to my daughter and granddaughter.
I'm curious is it ever necessary to break a karmic tie? Or is it just something that is... I'll say it time & time again, I'm still learning so if I should know some of the answers please forgive me for not knowing yet. I love your patience with me and I am truly grateful for all your efforts.
So the father was not in the picture he was jumping in with messages sort of, but is the father of the older male. Am I getting this straight? I think it's starting to make sense.
What's with all the ? marks ???? LOL Sorry if my responses are confusing. The train symbol makes sense to me in relation to the last picture, I have a few theories and believe his son worked on a train, the connection could be his way of acknowledging my thought of who he is. I get that he would have a J sounding name but it's not a J if I'm correct.
I have to just ask if you are looking at these pictures top to bottom, is it mother, father, son?
Sadly as you describe the difficult man, it so fits the traits of some of the men in my family.
I'm sorry I'm still a little confused on who traveled and who got hit in the head and why did he call him Nelly? Was he a chicken at heart or something like that? I don't want to take away from what you are giving me. I think I understand how you felt with the crowd surrounding you, the info is doing the same thing to me, I'll get it straight but it's going to take a little more time. Keep the goodies coming if you can, loving it, it really is a great gift and I'm so thankful for it, I hope you know that.
I knew you would be confused! I respond with lightening speed sometimes to catch all I see and hear and often don't consider clarity and yes it would have been clearer if I had focused on one and not all three at once. First the two top picture I picked up as related both to the woman on the other post--In fact They felt like the two gentleman who came through as brothers earlier--the first one was the one who came off as "edwardian" narrow minded and the other as his brother although there is a question in my mind about their fathers--are not the same father but they are both together. The first man as I was describing his father jumped in and took off with the picture in my head but you did not post his picture here so he jumped in with the first top picture here on this thread (confusing).--his father not pictured is the raskal--adventurer--traveling man who never stayed put--charming man but not father material. The picture below him felt like a brother yet pretty sure they don't share the same father and he comes with the J sound and his father is the big question or secret. An inner family relationship leaning towards his grandfather. The spiritual meaning behind this is powerful as he was born out of sin YET he was a very evolved soul and as the third gentleman rightfully says he was a gentle giant too good for this world. As I said the second man was a reminder of other's soul purpose and helped his mother as well as other family members to awaken themseves beyound earthly desires and rules. The third picture below these two men is the question mark--can't tell you exactly why spirit repeats that but know it is important when they do. He is the one with the head injury and I wondered if HE was the grandfather as I felt he was a different generation of the two men pictured above him--spirit put him off to the side immediatly whereas the first two where definetly tied together. He made the comment about the first man being "Nelly" (not a man--weak) (also hear said too much like mother--in a cruel exagerated way) there was a sense that he didn't think much of him or was not tied to him in a loving way BUT when he remarked on the second man that he was a gentle giant too good for this world there was love in his voice. Of course since the second man is an old soul with much progression not sure if the third man's loving feelings are earthly or just spirit based acknowledgement. This made me wonder if the third man was the father and grandfather and connected. Hope this seperates the men--I'm calling each in order of the three pictures above calling them one two or three and the first man's father came through as the wanderer even though no picture of him. Hope this makes sense. Also keep in mind the message has different perspectives from earthbound reality to spiritual observation. Some of the views you get are how these people came across on earth and then after passing the spirit gets a different view. Samuel--the spirit speaking up again says to remind me to not grab so much at once!
just got a nudge to clarify karma Spirit says do not dwell on missing the boat. When a karmic tie leaves earth you still have the opportunity to heal. If indeed you are trying to break a father daughter cycle it may be harder but not impossible. Takes more faith and spiritual connection. If you can rise above the wound and fullfill your life purpose the karmic tie has been healed. Perhaps this driving interest of yours on the subject is exactly where you are being directed by guides who wish you to live your best life and heal. Also, we are not failing or punished when we miss our mark as life is not judged like that--we do our best--our challenges are chosen by us with high hopes and whatever we miss just gets another round. Foremost, be kind to yourself.
Blmoon, you made me cry, your PS touched my heart. I never felt I needed to sever the tie of father daughter. But I was told the karmic issues needed to be resolved in "this lifetime". My earthly guess is they weren't. I have some suspicions on what I believe they may have been but in truth I can't say I know or pehaps I haven't admitted to myself yet that I know. Just to explain a little something, my dad was very ill at the end. Man this one could get a little odder than the rest. I had tried and failed several times to get him to go to the doctor and to the hospital as it was evident the end was drawing near quickly, he was not getting better. I went so far as to call on my brothers in hopes they could talk him into going for care. I even called my godmother who had been a dear friend of the family for longer than I was alive and a very devout person. My one brother came that night to talk to dad and left saying he doesn't want to go & I can't make him. While my godmother was there we retreated to my room, my daughter, my godmother and I to talk about how he was and what we could do. It seemed we were running out of options. While in my room I heard a knock (three knocks) at the front door and I went running to answer it. When I returned to the bedroom to explain how that was odd no one was there, my godmother about turned white as a ghost and said that was "death", call your brothers back, he's about out of time. I did as she asked but neither came, they felt they'd said what they could the choice was his to make. I was a wreck! I KNEW he was going to die before morning. In my frustration I tried talking to him but he was ignoring me so I retreated to write a "letter" if you will, thanking him for all the things he'd done for me and my daughter and how much it meant to me. Silly things like teaching me to fish and drive a boat. I tried to give it to him but he wouldn't take it so I read it, out loud with all the tears flowing. He made no response, but made his way to bed. He died that morning and there was nothing I could do to stop it. He meant everything to my daughter and I think losing him has caused a lot of the difficulties between her & I, she blames me for not being able to stop him from choosing to die. I guess in my mind that letter was my last chance to fix whatever was wrong between us before time ran out. I felt like it was too late or not enough, like I'd failed to achieve whatever needed to be fixed.
I agree with you I think that my research and constant hunt is very much driven as a healing process for me. My whole life I've wanted to know more about my family and the family that lived before me. I remember trying to explain to an aunt of mine that I wasn't trying to uncover the skeletons in the family closet I just wanted to get to know "my family". Maybe I somehow have to learn about the skeletons to truly appreciate them all. I guess I need to rise above as you say, if I ever get this family history in print I think I'll be there; I'm not trying for a best seller I just want to tell their story and share the history of this family of mine with the rest of my family. I'm glad there's no punishment for missing the mark, as for being kind to myself that part needs a lot of improvement.
Give me a little bit to digest the last post otherwise and try to clarify some of that and see if we're on the same page. Thanks much
your father died exactly when he was supposed to--there was nothing "in your control". The wound is "GUILT" it comes in many faces through many lifetimes. That is your challenge and your daughter reflects that. Stand firm in your wisdom above her youth--her emotions have muddled her wisdom--Do not let her feelings interfear with your faith in your desicion as this will change your karma--be kind to yourself above all else--punishing yourself comes sometimes without conciesness when there is a core belief hiding beneath it all--Suddenly you have opened the door for me to read YOU and I pick up a very very strong impression that you are a guilt gatherer and this undermines all your spiritual knowledge--you just have this feeling of messing up--regret and missing something. Spirit says it would help you this lifetime to embrace the moment--to really understand that the past is done(learn and move on)--the future does not exhist and the moment is all that is real and to dwell on regret or worry about the future is to rob you of the moment spirit calls "THE PRESENT!" I know you heard this before but to really live it is more than a knowledge--it is a practice effort. It is a blessing that you have attached your sights to a bigger picture. To witness the struggles and failings of our ancesters with compassion is a leap towards you getting closer to seeing your own journey with kindness and compassion for yoursef.
Blmoon, OMG! Wow. It's like you opened the pages of my book. I am trying very hard to let go of guilt, rid myself of the "if only's" and simply ask for forgiveness, understanding and guidance for issues of the past I can no longer change. It is my desire to find goodness and love and peace in my future. I don't look for a love of my life I want for the love of my family, I pray I will not one day die and have no one care. What I wouldn't give to truly feel that my daughter loves and respects me but I don't know if such a blessing is destined for me in this lifetime.
I have felt very much that I was being drug downward by her looking for someone to blame for all the issues in her life. That someone is always me! I realize and have realized recently there were times in her life where unknowingly I was absent or not aware of what really went on. I feel for all that she went through and yet I know I can't change any of it. I can't go back and fix how I reacted, what I said, if I was aware or not, or simply what happened....it's past. I've tried to make peace with her so all of that doesn't harden her heart, as it has broken mine. It's a fine line I walk to have good days with her when I'm lucky enough to have them.
I am very much trying to make each day count. Enjoy the gift of the present if you will. I do understand that I need to "let go" of many things and people but it's not easy. The "guilt" if you will hangs on me like wearing a back pack at times. You can take it off and set it aside but it is still very much there. How does one find the peace to truly forgive yourself, even for things you couldn't control at the time? I'm struggling with trying to find a way to acknowledge what needs to be dealt with, let go of what doesn't and somehow close the door and lock it away in the past. That is a tough journey, it is a hard thing to accomplish, sometimes impossible. I am really trying. I feel like to make the necessary progress forward I have no other choice than to accomplish these difficult tasks to let it go and finally put it all behind me one by one or all at once. I really feel my future depends on it. My ability to want to have a future worth having depends on my success in overcoming these difficulties once and for all. I've in so many ways never felt worthy. I hope whoever is hearing me out there can continue to help me. I know that they are with me on the most difficult of days. It is hard for someone who works so hard at learning about the past to let go of her own and feel like that is ok. Thank you for knowing what I needed to hear and helping me to know that by baby steps or leaps it is a step in the right direction. What a blessing that is indeed!
I knew the first time I signed into this forum that something great would make more aware. Little did I know it would include being more aware of myself. In the last few years I've grown in awareness, been more aware but I always put others before myself. it's strange when the universe makes you aware it's ok to consider yourself as well. Wow.
"The father" who was not pictured, I don't have his picture, at least not to my knowledge, he has been the man we've been searching for, for oh so long. We can't get passed him, until we know who his parents were, if we can find that out the rest will unfold like a map before us, the puzzle pieces will come together with more ease, I know it. I feel like he somehow has something to teach me by making this find so difficult a task. Perhaps it is the lessons I am learning here.
So let's see if I have this straight, "the father" If I'm understanding your description was "edwardian", narrow minded, thought to be weak almost motherly in some ways. Now here's where i get confused, is it his father then who is the rascal, adventurer, traveling man etc who you later called the wanderer. or is that description intended to be of "the father"?
I sense that the 2nd man or top male pictured is really a son to "the father". I may be wrong but I have to put it out there. So if I get this right it is his father who is the one not pictured who has the J name and the other man(#3) has a J sounding name if this is all making sense. If so, I think I'm with you on this. It's making sense to me. So I believe man #2 or top male picture, was the gentle giant, "born out of sin", spiritual to teach others. I have to stretch here and ask, can you get a name from him? if not, what symbol is on his headstone? If I'm right, he'll know I've seen it. And if so, I have something that belonged to him and I'm sure it was very special.
If I'm right, then is the woman pictured on top, the mother of his children?
The third man, or the bottom one pictured if you will, would have the J sounding name, an injury to the head, and is indeed of another generation. However I believe he would have been born after the other two men not before them. You lose me on the connection, if the way I pick up what you've interpreted here is correct than what you may have been experiencing was father, son and grandson 1-2-3. I don't want to put my interpretation as gospel per se, what I want is to clarify is if I am understanding correctly? If I am, it makes sense and I'm learning a lot. if you can give any other details on who is connected to man #3, bottom picture I may be able to lock in his identity? FYI the term "grandfather " fits but there is more to it for me, I think.
Is Samuel just a guide or tied to this family?
I got the First two pictures as brothers and sons to the female that resembles you. They shared the same mother but not the same father. The missing father of the first man pictured was a traveler--never stayed anywhere too long--he sailed to countries not usually visited by others--I saw him mingling with natives of far off places. He will be hard to trace in your family tree as the story she told was that they were married and he was lost at sea and died--there is a good chance there was no marriage recorded or any deeds in his name because he was such a drifter. though I see a map of England and Ireland as the places of his family heritage--also Boston means something around him. His affair with the woman was brief and she suffered loving and longing for him. Her father berated her for the situation and it was a difficult relationship anyway--he controlled her with that guilt and she felt humiliated in his eyes. Her life was filled with rejection--or at least she felt that way as spirit says it was her wounded self that chained her to her loneliness. The second man pictured the gentle giant and is the sin that brought grace. Something happened in a violent or violating way at his conception and again fed into the guilt pattern this mother was challenged with. He is connected to the J . The third picture I saw to the other side apart from the two sons but he was connected. I saw him with a daughter. He's the one with the head trauma--an accident when young. He almost died. He talks slow--I hear Virginia--not sure a name or place.I Samuel is a guide who answered when I prayed for extra guidence in responding to your request as it is a bit more challanging than usual. He says there are enough relitives talking! He wishes you to know that it will help for you to understand the gift beneath the angst of your mother daughter relationship. That it is meant to touch that nerve--to bring out your wound so you can heal. It will take away the failure aspect of it. Remember that it takes repitition of choice to make it habit and recognizing when you are falling into that spiril of guilt IS a good sign as once you are able to see the truth of your shadow side without judgement then the healing begins. You are ready for this. Recognize the cycle of butting heads with love then drowning in guilt. You must live like a person lives who loves themselves--live it and it sinks in. During this time of really digging deep look at your life with the same compassion you have for ancesters and see your own history as a story that is making sense. Your daughter chose you for her mother for a reason and you can let her life be her responsability so you can release her as well as by you feeling so guilty it feeds the energy that she carries as a victim. When we are in victim mentality we stop growing--we are trapped in the same way that female ancester who looks like you was trapped. It is not selfish to shed any guilt for your daughters sufferings----you actually release her from the bond that ties you together in a toxic way. A part of you knows this--it is what grieves you most. Examin your life with clarity and without judgement--it is what it is-- look for places that don't reflect a loveing kindness for ones self. Do you neglect yourself? Do you deserve to be loved? Loving yourself is the key to healing. Step away for awhile from your daughters life and heal first and she will follow--breaking karma has a ripple effect. Blessings.
PS--Samuel says see you in your dreams---expect a very revealing dream soon.
I just keep reading the posts over & over, each time I seem to get more confused. Every time I think I have it figured out I see a whole in the theory. I think I'm trying to hard to put the pieces together instead of just letting the information come and allowing it to process on its own.
I have to ask a question you keep seeing these three men, are you under the impression that picture number 1 is a man?
I get that there would have been a traveler of sorts in the family line but we would have imagined he was further back in generations. I realize that part gets confusing for you as earthly doesn't match up to spiritually by time frame references. I'm really going to have to just keep going over the latest statements,I'm getting mixed up myself and I feel like I know this family pretty well I can imagine how you must be feeling. I will just remain open to whatever info comes next and hope it begins to come together more clearly. I'm concerned that we may have more than one family coming together here and that you may not be able to differentiate the two or more and thus my confusion. We do have a family member known to have suffered injury from a horse but that family member was female and not of the line which provided the sketches I set before you here. It may just be coincidental just thought I'd mention it.
So if I understand you correctly than you are saying that the woman in my other post which resembles me was married twice is that right? Did she have more than one child with the first husband? or was this sin related to an affair of sorts?
I don't mean to go vague here but I'm beginning to sense the drain this must be putting on you, I'm weary and I thought I understood it.....LOL
It's time to give it a rest. There are things you ask and then there are things spirit wishes you to know. It is too much for now and such it is when we invite spirits by the crowds! There are two things going on Spirit says your family tree search and your time to heal. Step away from the information for a few days and let it settle in your head and give your guides time to help it make sense in a way that will not only answer some questions but help you heal. I've done a few readings last few days and need to step away to detach and fill the well a bit and work on other things. I have an ambitiouse yard project started and a writing deadline by the first. Give yoursef a break as well to do something different for about a week. It's amazing what the mind will work on when we are thinking somewhere else. Many other writers I know attest to how multitask capable the mind is and how after sweating days of sleepless nights trying to get the work to perfection and worthy of submission it's just when you give up and sleep on it --get up and it comes together in an istant--as if the brain keeps working on it while we sleep. Give yourself a rest. Buy something that smells nice--lavender would be good for you. Buy yoursef some flowers. It will all make sense---right now you are looking too hard. Rest.
I suspected you were right there waiting for this response. My daughter needed the computer had to sign off for a bit. You are right I need to allow the pieces to come together naturally and see what I learn from that. It is a gift, albeit confusing right now.
I am truly grateful for all your efforts and I hope when you have time that you'll revisit this and continue to pass along some messages. I suspect I may soon get a few of my own. Oddly that has me a nervous wreck. I'm so afraid I'll miss something or not remember it. Any tips on how I can be sure to remember the info that comes my way if it's in a dream???
Good luck with your yard work and the writing deadline. Is it something I can read?
Lavender is special, I don't know about the flowers though. I'm a giver not a receiver, feels a little weird to give myself a gift, that one will take time to overcome. Sorry the crowds were so overwhelming. But I can't tell you what it means to me that they are there to offer these messages to me. It's as if all our efforts have not been in vain, they know and they care and they want to help, even if to some it's a bit of a joke.
Is Samuel your guide or mine? Or just a helper of sorts..... THANK YOU SO MUCH
You are right I have a lot of work to do on myself. The tips make sense but it too is a lot to absorb, kind of like I've always known it but now it's out there to deal with...