Don't want a Divorce



  • after 30 years of marriage, my husband has asked for one. I really want to put us back together, he wants out of marriage. He traveles all the time for work. I thought WE were happily married. he says he has cheated for 8 years, and is tired of acting happily married...what are my chances?



  • Excellent for getting a better life by leaving this cheater. Why on earth would you want to endure more of the same - because he will not change. He likes his life the way it is - him doing what he wants and too bad for everyone else. Put it all behind you.



  • donnamae92, i'm very very very sorry to hear this! I have to agree with TheCaptain. 8 years of cheating is..horrible! I did do a relationship-path spread for you...but I have to add that I'm a beginner at this and I usually never do readings for other people because I don't feel confident.

    But here it goes, with a huge grain of salt and understanding that you have free will:

    1. Present situation: lovers + knight of pentacles

    --the firs thing that came to mind is how the relationship came to a standstill. in my deck, this knight is just standing there, looking at his pentacle. Then I also thought that since the knights of swords are considered slow people who take their time...I thought that the card pair symbolizes the 30 years of your marriage that took a while to form. Maybe it also describes your husband? He takes his time? Is he a Capricorn/Virgo/or Taurus? Is he materialistic?

    2. How you feel: 9 of swords + 4 of cups

    --in my deck the 9 of swords is an image of a person waking up to a nightmare. a very sad card and the bed looks more like a coffin...basically it's your worst nightmare. it's driving you crazy and keeping you up at night. paired with the 4 of cups--three cups stand infront of a person while the 4th cup is given to them by a hand out of the clouds, the person doesn't want to accept the 4th cup--it immediately told me that you, obviously, don't want to accept the divorce. He presented you, out of nowhere, from out of a cloud, with something you don't want to take or consider.

    3. how he feels: judgement+ 4 of wands

    --judgement card is an angel that awakens the dead in my deck and 4 of wands is a happy card, excitement, good times, two people standing in the distance waving. This showed to me exactly what you said: he wants to stop pretending that you have a happy marriage...time to awaken the dead, time to bring things out of the closet and set free.

    4. Where you want things to go: Two of Swords + 6 of pentacles

    -two of swords is a blindfolded woman with two swords across her chest and a 6 of pentacles is an image of three people: a seemingly wealthy man and two poor ones; the wealthy man gives some coins to one of them but its hard to tell who's profiting or losing because he also holds a scale that's equal.

    You feel indecisive and don't know where you want to go with this marriage because 1) you don't want to see certain things? you'd rather be blind to them? 2) you don't know if it will benefit you more to stay or go? you're trying to find an equalibrium but at your own emotional/psychological expense?

    5. where he wants it to go: 10 of swords (dead man with 10 swords in his back) and knight of wands: the only thing that comes to mind with this is...is he hastily trying to end it and be on his way out? No talking about it, just out? I could be wrong here...it's hard to interpret. 10 of swords is a painful card, knight of wands is a charming, hasty guy who is on the go....?

    6. where you're headed/outcome: page of cups + 7 of cups. Okay, cups are emotions. The page is a loving, caring, usually young man....maybe he'll turn around and be nice towards you--apologetic?? but you must question this because of the 7 of cups (reaching for illusions, not knowing if you grab a cup full of fruit or a cup with a serpent). I pulled another card to clarify this and got the 2 of Wands--reversed. I do all my readings upright and this single reversed card astonished me...so I thought it might have a special meaning. Upright it could mean that you have two options---to stay or to go, in your case I guess, --or decide if you want to continue a path or not...sort of a "so what do I do now?" feeling. But reversed, it comes back to a possible stalemate...not knowing what to choose.

    I wish you the very best. Please do take care and feel free to give me feedback on the reading...

    much love,

    decembermoon



  • oh..and I just read Junemoon's reply to your reading request in another thread---maybe the outcome of the page of cups and 7 of cups speaks to what junemoon said about him being taken advantage of by another woman? he doesn't know what he's going after, the illusions with which he's presented? pages are like children so his vulnerability could be a factor here....



  • decembermoon, Thank you for your reading.. My husband is a Tarus, as I. Slow, take our time. we are some what materialistic.

    2. Yes, he presented the divorce out of no where and I don't want. I still love him very much! I do not know that he has cheated any in the last 8 - 10 years, that is what I have been told.

    3. The woman that is cheating with him, is leaving a marriage of 33 years. We are more afraid that she is just scaming him, because she wants his money.

    4. I do feel indecisive. If she is ont in his life anymore like he told me. I want him back. If she is still in his life, then she can have him, with much less than she thinks he will be bringing along!

    5.Yes, I think he is hasitlly trying to end, although, he says there is no rush. He asked me in Dec 20th. no paper work has been done yet....He really doesn't want to talk. stuborn, has his mind made up, he thinks. I say he still LOVES me very much.

    6. I have two sons...25yo, at home, 28yo...this may be the emotion s...they have disowned their father. they are very loving, and caring to me.

    Now, if you could please help me. I have been wating to hear from Junemoon....you stated that you read hJunemoon's reply. I can not fine the reply??? how do I find it, can you please help me again....I to go to an Attorney tomorrow, and would like to see this before I go.



  • I'm sorry I didn't read your reply sooner donnamae. Junemoon's reply is in the thread "Is my Ex in my future at all" on page 5, since I checked today. I'll copy paste it here for you.

    Junemoon says: donnamae92, I'll do your reading now (although I usually do them in the order I receive them). I understand what you are going through and that it is urgent. I'll give you the most in-depth reading I can.

    You love deeply and made many sacrifices for your husband. The two of you are so similar--you are both sensitive, creative, caring, and kindhearted--that you share almost all the same good qualities and faults. Both of you can be a little moody and unstable, but you are more stable than he. Both of you are so loyal emotionally that you both hesitate to let go. He was unfaithful, but may have "justified" it by saying you were inattentive (not true).

    I feel the two of you shared so many of the same qualities that it brought you together and drove you apart. You wished sometimes you had someone more dependable; perhaps he wished the same thing.

    I think may have met another woman, which is the reason he has asked for divorce. He does not realize that she will take advantage of his vulnerable nature, and there's no way to stop him from the path he is on.

    If you haven't already, tell him how much you want to work things out. Tell him he means everything to you--this is no time to be proud. If he doesn't reciprocate, know you have done all you can and file for divorce. He is on a downward spiral and may not realize his actions have consequences. He will be hurt by the new woman and will miss you. But do not wait for him. I have a feeling you were making most of the sacrifices in your relationship, but if you divorce, move on.

    If you do divorce, in your next relationship, choose someone more stable and understanding, and who is as willing as you to compromise. You are a generous, loving person, but in a relationship it's just as important for the other person to be. Good luck, and best wishes.



  • thank you decembermoon, I actually found junemoons reply finally before I signed off. I hope things are well for you. I am still hoping things will turn around. He is a good man(I have loved him for 35 years) He has just gotten off on the wrong path. God will see us through this, because If there was another person in my lif, they would not come with any guarentees either! I thought your read was very good! I wish I knew more about how its done? you draw cards, then interpret? If you did another one, would it be totally different? How would you know which reading to go with? How often would a person have a reading? Practice on me anytime. Thank You. Donnamae92


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