Help with Scorpio male, sad breakup!
Hello everybody, I've been so lost and confused I was hoping for some insight into my breakup and whether or not it can be saved. My scorpio boyfriend broke up with me 5 months ago. I was (still am) crushed.
Details: I'm a Leo female (07/24) near the cusp with my moon and venus both in Cancer, and a Virgo ascendent. I consider my personality to be a mix of Cancer and Leo, my confident Leo side comes out when I'm in comfortable social situations and also in my intimate relationships, but I'm also a very sensitive person so I'm shy too, also very caring and nurturing like a mother (a cute and sexy fun mother).
He's a Scorpio male (11/13) with his moon also in Cancer, his venus in Sagittarius with a Capricorn ascendant...he's playful, passionate about all his interests, goofy sense of humour, very sensitive and loving, also excruciatingly honest and blunt in a cute way. He's part way between being immature and aloof, and also goal oriented and very serious in life. He has some bad experiences from his past (addiction) which he barely touched upon - always being mysterious, has some issues he holds inside about his family, and he also claimed he was a really angry person inside....yet never showed that side to me, we never fought about anything (he only got upset with me a few times before the breakup but I just laid low).
Okay so overall we had an amazing relationship for 2 years, lots of love, respect for each other, had tons of fun, and of course amazing physical relationship. Everything seemed to be going well, we lived together and got along famously. We talked about our future, our career directions and living situation, getting married eventually and having kids... Then what happens? He starts freaking out about being committed and walks right out the door one day after explaining that he was really confused, scared, and needed his space. That was 5 months ago, and it's been an emotional rollercoaster ever since.
I thought it was over and done so I packed his things and had him pick them up. Then he calls me upset saying he wasn't sure about breaking up and he wanted some space for a while, but he didn't want to give me false hope. I tried to get him to talk to me but most of my attempts failed, he just avoided me altogether because he said his emotions were still raw. We saw each other a few times in a friendly way after, then he got weird and upset at me for something silly so I backed off and gave up altogether. Once that happened he came by wanting me back, he said he never stopped loving me and felt like a piece of him was missing. We agreed to work on things...and started seeing each other again for a few weeks but he wouldn't call me at all until he wanted to hang out, then we would and I wouldn't hear from him for a while after. After getting weird mixed messages, his avoiding, but also some expressions of love and intimacy I expressed wanting to talk about things because I was confused....then he up and disappeared for two weeks!!
After 2 weeks he wanted to see me, so we did and we had fun...then after that he's disappeared for going on another 2 weeks now. I'm completely crushed and devastated, he was the love of my life and I haven't lost any of those feelings yet over the past 5 months He says he loves me but he's also so distant and I have no idea what to think.
What should I do!?! Should I continue giving him space and seeing him every once in a while until he makes some sort of concrete decision about us, or should I completely give up, ignore him (when he does contact me again) and make him lose me for once, then wait to see if he wants to come back for real?
I'm sorry for the long post...I've completely lost my direction on how to handle this situation.
Oh and the last time I saw him two weeks ago, we had a great time talking and laughing (tried to get comfortable and pretend that nothing has happened) so we had fun and the thing is, he couldn't stop smiling at me and staring at me with those hypnotic eyes...I felt like he was looking into my soul and it made me uncomfortable! I love him so much it's just all of the mixed signals he gives me scare me, he stared at me so lovingly (sometimes when I wasn't looking but I saw him at the corner of my eye) and I wasn't sure what to think, because now he's disappeared again...
Anyone have any comments about this?