Can anyone tell me what happened with my friend?

  • Hi all,

    I know many of you on here are intuitive and can read into situations, so if anyone is willing to read and give feedback on my story it would be much appreciated. As the topic of the post reads, I’m really wondering what in the world happened to my friend? Allow me to give some background info on the situation:

    I met this guy about two years ago. The night we met we instantly clicked. Before our relationship even got physical, we talked for hours and hours and we just seemed to get along so well. So eventually the relationship did turn physical and for about 3 months or so we were seeing each other on a fairly regular basis. Long story short, I ended up really falling for him (I honestly think I was head over heels the night we first met), but he didn’t want a serious relationship. I ended up ending our relationship because a) I cared about him so much and no longer wanted to carry on a physical relationship if it wasn’t going to go anywhere and b) he had been acting distant lately. I initially chalked this up to him not being interested in me anymore but he insisted that he was overwhelmed with work and money problems and it was typical thing for him to decline in communication when he wanted to focus on himself. He’s an Aquarius btw, so I don’t know if that’s typical for that sign or not. Me, typical Virgo, was skeptical and worried that I had done something wrong, but nevertheless I told him that I didn’t think it was a good idea to continue seeing him in that way. He agreed that it was probably best and we stopped talking.

    Fast forward three months later and I get a random phone call from him. Didn’t hear from him after that, so I really can’t remember the gist of that conversation. Fast forward about five months later and he begins to call me regularly. Of course at this point I’m hung up on another guy (naturally),so I’m thinking “Men! They always come crawling back!” But honestly, because I really and truly cared so much about this guy, I was open to us talking again and it went pretty well. Eventually he said that he wanted to come down to see me (I attend college about an hr away. I used to travel on the weekends to see him) and though I was wary about it, I agreed.

    When he came down I felt like we had a nice time. I remember being completely exhausted from a rough week of class and school, so we just stayed in and hung out. Admittedly, I felt a little nervous---you know how it is when you haven’t seen someone you used to really like in a long time! But I tried to play it cool. Also, I felt like I looked terrible that weekend so that didn’t help with my feeling anxious, but I was hoping he wouldn’t notice my slight nervousness (I’m pretty sure he did, btw). Eventually we kissed and he indicated that he wanted things to go further but I told him no and said that since it had been so long since we’d done that it didn’t feel right to jump back in so soon. He was completely understanding and we just hung out (ok we cuddled too) for the rest of the night. I also ended up asking him what was going on with him when he acted strangely towards me in the past and interestingly enough, he said to me what he’d said before: that he was dealing with a lot in his personal life and it had nothing to do with me. I introduced you to my friends, he said. I wouldn’t have done that if I wasn’t into you!

    Okay, maybe I’m a little naïve but I believed him. The next day we had lunch, I kissed him goodbye and I told him to call me when he got back home to make sure he had traveled safely. He did so. And that was that. Never to be heard from again! I called him a few days later to make sure things were okay with him, but his phone was turned off. The next time I called him---I can’t remember how long it was after---his phone was cut off (as in, he disconnected). So with no number to reach him at, I had/have no other way to contact him. More importantly, he hasn’t contacted me which concerns me.

    So basically I would like to know if he’s OK. It’s been almost a year since that happened and I pretty much brushed it off as a typical guy thing---coming in and out of your life whenever they feel like it. And I guess the only reason why I wasn’t heartbroken (don’t get me wrong, I was sad) is because I tried to keep my expectations low about the whole thing inwardly. That, and I was talking to a couple of other guys at the time so I didn’t allow myself to fall for him in the same way. When he visited it was just like old times, though. I have a very hard time believing that because we weren’t intimate that he decided to disappear. If he wanted s-e-x, he could have easily have gotten it from someone where he lives, so why drive more than an hour to come see me? I just don’t think he’s that type of guy honestly. Our relationship was physical, yes, but it was also much more than that...we were also friends and, I think, emotionally connected. Though I certainly miss having that type of romantic connection with him, more importantly I want to know if he’s alright. We don’t have any close mutual friends and that number is still disconnected, so there’s no way for me to check on him. If I could, believe me I would.

    Can anyone help me with this? Why did he make the effort to come see me and then just disappear? And more importantly, is he okay?

    Many thanks in advance if you read this and take the time to reply. It’s just been on my mind lately...



  • Happy St. Patrick's day all! Also, bumping this 🙂

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