Guidance hans wolf



  • thanks hans, u answered many posts before which really helped....

    are you really sure i will be his wife,..? from three years all he has said is NO.NO and NO.

    should i pressurize him again and again or let it be?

    what will make him change his mind?

    when will be make up his mind?

    do i need to keep other people available for me for marriage or just concentrate on my goals till he comes around?

    should i just be his friend till the time being or maintain distance, we just talk on the phone now as we are in different states of usa, i feel hurt calling him now since he has always rejected whenever i ask him for marriage.

    i just feel i want to spend my time disconected from him. will that be ok? what should be my behaviour during this period?

    should i try to meet him as we are in different states and not physically present, or ask him to meet me, or just be apart like this and something will come to his mind which tells him that he needs to marry me?



  • are you really sure i will be his wife,..? Yes.

    you should pressurize him again and again.

    what will make him change his mind? temperance. If the need for aid goes unrecognized, tears and blood will flow.

    when will be make up his mind? when he feels sorry for all the spilled milk.

    you need to just concentrate on your goals till he comes around.

    you should neither just be his friend till the time being nor maintain distance.

    i just feel i want to spend my time disconected from him. will that be ok? No.

    what should be my behaviour during this period? growth through awareness and warmth through sincerity.

    you should neither try to meet him as you are in different states and not physically present, nor ask him to meet you, nor just be apart like this and something will come to his mind which tells him that he needs to marry you.

    You have to go beyond it. The separation with

    the cosmos has to disappear. You have to become one

    with the whole. In fact you ARE one, you just think

    that you are not. That barrier of the thought has to be

    dissolved. Then there is relaxation, peace,

    non-violence. Then you have

    disappeared, and all the energy that was involved in

    the ego is freed. That energy becomes beauty, good,

    truth.



  • hi hans , FIRST OF ALL<thanks a="" lot=""></thanks>

    1. i did not understand what you meant by these lines.

    you should neither try to meet him as you are in different states and not physically present, nor ask him to meet you, nor just be apart like this and something will come to his mind which tells him that he needs to marry you.

    2. what do these lines mean, the cosmos thing?

    You have to go beyond it. The separation with

    the cosmos has to disappear. You have to become one

    with the whole. In fact you ARE one, you just think

    that you are not. That barrier of the thought has to be

    dissolved. Then there is relaxation, peace,

    non-violence. Then you have

    disappeared, and all the energy that was involved in

    the ego is freed. That energy becomes beauty, good,

    truth.

    3. Also, you said i should kep pressurising him for marriage. how? through calls?

    4. Also, you said Temperence will make him change his mind and marry me , when his need for aid goes un recognized and tears and blood will flow.

    KINDLY CRALIFY ALL THIS IN SIMPLE LANGUAGE FOR ME TO UNDERSTAND.



  • 1. Maybe you should first clarify for yourself, what you meant with your question, which I just answered by repeating it as an answer. You can certainly win this conflict. Such a victory, though, will bring a lifetime of defending your prize against challengers. So better be friendly with all the peope around you.

    2. what do these lines mean, the cosmos thing? Out of fear of failing you are fulfilling yourself all your material wishes.

    3. By fluctuation, by keeping balance between him and another man, not through calls.

    4. You have to raise your understanding to understand me, because I will not step down. I am not that kind, or maybe I am too kind to do that, because every simplification is a falsification also (two long words, I know, but you should go on learning, life means learning).

    Cralificatíon: Either there is love or there is no love, that counts, marriage is the end of love.

    But meeting once in a while, you are both prepared,

    you are both ready. You have taken a shower, he has

    taken a shower, and for at least three hours you have

    been before the mirror and used all kinds of perfumes

    and deodorants, and lipstuff and whatnot. And then you

    meet for a few minutes or an hour. Of course you both

    are far away; only your personalities, the masks....

    He has come with painted smiles and you have come with

    painted smiles.



  • how can i pressurize him by fluctuating between him and another man?

    how much time will he take to come around? months. year, years?

    will we face all challenges of our marriage? will he successfully lead married life with me?

    does he love me now or just because i want him? what does he think of me, whats in his mind for me? will we raise a good family, kids together?

    how will our financial life be after marriage? whats tools and aids do i need as a female with him as my man, any tacticswill work on him : )

    THANKS HANS SO MUCH.



  • how can i pressurize him by fluctuating between him and another man? By dominating him with your mind.

    how much time will he take to come around? months. year, years? year.

    will we face all challenges of our marriage? no.

    will he successfully lead married life with me? no.

    does he love me now or just because i want him? just because you want him.

    what does he think of me, whats in his mind for me? he thinks of you as a fool, just driven forward by your gut feelings.

    will we raise a good family, kids together? no.

    how will our financial life be after marriage? you will generate strength for the fulfillment of your wishes having nothing to do with your very being.

    whats tools and aids do i need as a female with him as my man: another rich man.

    Don't choose. Accept life as it is in its totality.



  • so you have said he doesnt love me now and thinks of me as a fool. will he have the same feelings when he comes around after a year?

    you said no to all the questions regarding good married life and not even raising kids together. so what will this marriage provide for me?

    why he won't be there to face all challenges of the marriage with me?

    tools? another rich man? how can i have another rich man in my life?

    you mean to say i will have two men all my life?

    after reading everything do u feel it is a good decision that i want to marry him?

    in that case should i leave him to marry someone else?

    please take me out of dillemma.



  • will he have the same feelings when he comes around after a year? no.

    what will this marriage provide for me? the celebration of your submission, your delusion and your pain.

    why he won't be there to face all challenges of the marriage with me? because he has another hope, a better goal for himself which needs all his energies.

    tools? no.

    another rich man? no.

    how can i have another rich man in my life? by waiting for the right moment.

    you mean to say i will have two men all my life? yes.

    after reading everything do u feel it is a good decision that i want to marry him? no.

    in that case should i leave him to marry someone else? no.

    please take me out of dillemma: curb your pushing strength, trust in your weakness.

    Why does dilemma make you so afraid and trembling and

    scared? Because there seems to be no beyond, no

    possibility to escape from it. You cannot do anything

    because you cannot think, and you know only one thing:

    thinking, nothing else. Your whole life has been a

    thinking. Now, dilemma allows no thinking. Only a woman who

    has been meditating and has realized no-thinking will not be afraid -- because she knows that

    thinking is not life.



  • thanks hanswoif....i understand now what you mean...

    yes all my life ive been thinking and never enjoyed life, i want to enjoy everyday of my life but don';t know how to....i keep worrying, but this thing has become a habit because ive failed in some areas of my life which made me scaredand always thinking n analysing for results.

    what is the best way for meditation?



  • what is the best way for meditation? remaining in the middle, between inward and outward.

    It is all guesswork in deep ignorance. Whatsoever man

    has thought of God is just guesswork. If you are honest

    you will not be interested in any guesswork. God cannot

    be guessed at -- he can be known but not guessed at.

    How can you guess at God? How can you imagine God?

    There is no way to do it. And whatsoever you do is

    going to be wrong. The best way is not to guess but to

    drop all prejudices that you have been taught and

    conditioned for. Become a pure nothingness, a mirror,

    that's what meditation is all about. In that

    nothingness your eyes open for the first time. You

    start seeing that which is.

    A meditator has to learn to do only the essential and not to waste one’s life in the unessential. A meditator has to learn to relax, how to rest, and enjoy rest. And slowly slowly one settles into one’s own center. And the moment you touch your own center you have touched eternity, you have touch the timelessness, you -have tasted nectar for the first time.



  • my general behaviour towards him is protective and caring. ..is that correct?

    should i keep in touch with him always....i mean what should be my means of communication and how often as i told u we are in two different states far apart, and soon going to be in two different continents.

    when he comes around in an year, what will lead him to do that?

    what kind of emotions will he feel for me then?



  • my general behaviour towards him is protective and caring. ..is that correct? no.

    should i keep in touch with him always: no.

    ....i mean what should be my means of communication and how often: you deny yourself any right to self-love and self-acceptance.

    when he comes around in an year, what will lead him to do that? his conflict between feeling and thinking.

    what kind of emotions will he feel for me then? something between contact and withdrawal.

    He will be afraid, but still he will try. Then he will regain his confidence, he will not going to fight.



  • thanks hans...

    should i keep my contact with him intermittant? what should i keep?

    what is it in me that he likes or has kept us going till now, i mean what qualities attract him in me? does he think im beautiful...i mean does he like me that way too?

    what does he expect from me, my behaviour....what keeps him at peace, ....? what in me would make him decide he wants me as his wife?



  • should i keep my contact with him intermittant? yes.

    what should i keep? Trembling all over because of your mind.

    what is it in me that he likes or has kept us going till now, i mean what qualities attract him in me? your imaginative seclusiveness.

    you does he think im beautiful: no.

    ...i mean does he like me that way too? yes.

    what does he expect from me, my behaviour: being afraid of authority, being afraid of the father.

    ....what keeps him at peace, ....? his career.

    what in me would make him decide he wants me as his wife? your intuition.

    Tomorrow there is only death and nothing else; life is today.



  • hi hans thanks...

    u said he doesnt think of me as beautiful?

    he thinks im ugly?

    he doesnt like how i look?



  • u said he doesnt think of me as beautiful? no.

    he thinks im ugly? yes.

    he doesnt like how i look? no.

    An old boxer phoned his manager. "Harry," he said,

    "you gotta ged me anudder fight, I wanna fight Slasher

    Delaney."

    "No, boy," replied Harry. "You're over the hill, no

    more fights. How many times do I hafta tell ya?"

    "But please Harry; just this one, I know I can beat

    'im. Please Harry, one more fight!"

    "No! You're past it. Quit while you're still on yer

    feet. You can't fight again."

    "But Harry," pleaded the old fighter, "why can't I

    fight Slasher Delaney?"

    "Why can't you fight Slasher Delaney?" yelled the

    manager, "because, you stupid shit, you are Slasher

    Delaney!"



  • thanks for the inspiring lines hans...best for you.

    i am not beautiful but ugly in his eyes? : (

    can it change...should i change my external appearance, how i look for him?

    so u mean all our relationship is due to my inner qualities ?

    my external appearance contributes nothing to him?

    best to you hans...



  • Thank you drgagannagi

    i am not beautiful but ugly in his eyes? : ( yes.

    can it change: no.

    ..should i change my external appearance, how i look for him? no.

    so u mean all our relationship is due to my inner qualities ? yes.

    my external appearance contributes nothing to him? yes.

    You will not come out

    of it smiling. You will come out utterly tired -- tired

    because you were told not to do anything, tired because

    you have never been in such a silly thing ever before.

    Not doing anything? You are a doer! If you had chopped

    wood the whole day you would not have been so tired.

    But sitting silently, doing nothing, many times the

    idea arises, "What am I doing here?" And the time will

    look very, very long, because time is relative. The

    time will become very long.



  • exactly hans...the time seems really long........................

    how long hans,...? before we are one?

    is this man my destiny, hans?

    would a girl like being with a man who doesnt think she's beautiful......i feel awful with your revelations.....

    am i percieved as ugly or just because he's more handsome than me..?

    i am not ugly hans, im attractive, n complemented by many...



  • how long hans,...? as long as you are strong.

    before we are one? Realize with calmness and courage for the own strength that in every being, whether male or female, both impulses have to be admitted to then constitute a rhythmical whole.

    is this man my destiny, hans? no.

    am i percieved as ugly or just because he's more handsome than me..? neither nor.

    Now the time has come to go in. You know enough already about all that. Now start slipping out of it. The mind will continue having its thoughts. It is going to happen -- just keep a little alert.