How do I????

  • How do I stop choosing men that are wrong,for me?

    I have been divorced for 7 years and have remained single until now. I've met a Libra Man (I'm a Capricorn), with whom we seem to hit it right off. He is younger than I am; he's 46 and I'm 54. He told me that he is perfectly happy single, but he needs some "time" to find out if he can allow me into his life. He told me that he has been alone, for so long, that he is set in his ways. I feel that he is just "leading me on", and is not being serious about our relationship. He says he just wants to do things, with me, and have fun, but he needs time.

    He was married once, for a very short time, because she turned to drugs (got involved with the wrong people) and emptied out his house (one day), while he was at work. This happened in the late 90's and I think he is just being gun shy.

    Maybe it boils down to the fact, that I want more from the relationship, than he does, or maybe he is not willing to put forth what is needed to go forward with me.

    I seem to attract the wrong kind of men. I had an affair, when I was married and I had a boyfriend (in a committed relationship) and cheated on him too. What is wrong, with me??

    I "know" what I want in a relationship, but maybe I'm better off being single. I know that some people are just mean to be alone.

    Please....give me your thoughts, ideas, comments and suggestions....

  • You and the Libran have different ideas of WHAT you want from a romantic relationship, not how much. He sees love as being about sex and feelings and having a good time with someone attractive. You see love more as a serious business partnership with both parties supporting and helping each other to achieve their goals.

    I feel you are always attracted to people who won't put too much pressure on you emotionally and financially. I feel that love isn't the main priority of your life - your creativity and what you do with it is.

  • Now, that was an interesting response, Captain!


    Capricorns are known for their business acumen instead of feelings, so that makes sense.

    I've never known a Libra man, before, and I can appreciate what you are saying, for sure!

  • Just giving you my two cents....I just got out of a relationship with a Libra man that was saying the exact things. What he said and how he treated me were two clearly different messages. I thought he too was just being gun shy. He was the opposite as far as he had never been by himself for any length of time. I figured if I just hung in there and let him have his space (which was fine for me too) it would be fine since we got along so great and he was just a really wonderful guy. It ended a few months back after 3 years because he was confused between me and someone from his past that reappeared. I'm glad I had the relationship because I learned something but I probably should have listened when he said he never wanted to get married again (which I was ok with) but bottom was a year before he finally admitted that he loved me....and after 3 years he said that he was happy with the way things were, felt no need to change anything, including not living together...just seeing each other for date night and the weekends. We talked many, many times a day and took trips together etc., spent holidays together with family and all that good stuff, just like a seriously committed couple. He (reluctantly) agreed that at some point we would live together but trying to get him to commit to plans for that was frustrating even though we both agreed it would be years away. I too wanted way more and he didn't. Go with your gut on this one. BTW, I agree with Captain's insight on what he thinks love is.

  • Do you really want a serious relationship or are you worried about being OUT THERE and not connected to someone?

    I think most Cappies have a hard time when it comes to relationships....

    What do you really want? Are you willing to sacrifice for what you want because you can't have your cake and eat TWO!

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