Another Cancer Conundrum: WTF is he playing at?

  • Hey all! I know this is my first post and it's a doozy, but I can't, for the life of me, figure out what this guy is playing at and it's annoying the hell out of me.

    A little back story: We met last year while I was already in a relationship. We chatted all the time, had great conversation, and seemed to click on the friend level. By the way, I'm a Virgo and he's a Cancer. When the relationship dissolved he started coming on to me hot and heavy, texting every day, calling me, etc. I was cautious at first because I was still hurting from my past relationship and didn't want to rush into anything. I asked him, before we were intimate, if he wanted to be just friends with benefits or my rebound, to which he replied "no."

    After we were intimate, things changed and it was no more text messages, no more nothing. After a week, I pretty much sent him an email stating that I felt used and had no desire to speak to him again. He knew I didn't just share my body with anyone and to go from constant communication to nothing was messed up to me. He responded back angrily via voicemail about how busy he had been and how I shouldn't have freaked out over him not talking to me for a week. He then told me that he thought I liked him more than he liked me and with that I told him to bugger off then and have a good life. Ever since then he'd sporadically send me messages asking me how I was doing etc, until I finally stopped talking to him in December of 09.

    After I stopped initiating contact, he starts initiating it with me. I ask him why does he keep talking to me when I obviously don't try to talk to him and he says "because I like talking to you." to which I normally just laugh or say something sarcastic. He's always trying to get me to come see him, or he'll say he'll be in my area and I should come out.

    He has a nickname he uses for me and said I needed to find the one for him that makes him "melt." After I told him "well I guess asshole and bastard are out." it turns out he wants me to call him what I called him when I actually liked him as a person (and yes, I did tell him that I only called him that because I liked him as a person back then, which implies that I think he is scum now.)

    I'm going to be honest. I'm still very much attracted to him. We had a rapport with each other that was amazing, and we always seemed to be on the same page- but the crap he pulled back then still sits with me, and I don't trust him as far as I can throw him and the fact that I insult him to his face as often as I do, it makes me realize I'm playing a game too. He'll tell me about other girls he's pumped and dumped and I'm like "why are you telling me this? I don't show interest in your anymore and we don't need to have conversations about this..."

    I guess I said all of this to say; what are we doing? Why won't he just leave me alone? I didn't talk to him for roughly two months and then out of nowhere it's as if he's completely forgotten our history with each other. In a way, I hate his guts, but in another way, I'm head over heels for him and say mean things to remind myself of why he's garbage.

    I'm confused and I want to let this lie, but now that he's back "around", I find myself turning my lip up in disgust and getting turned on at the same time. UGH! HELP! LMAO!

  • Run Girl.. RUN! LOL

    Sounds like we've dated the same Cancer! Ugh.. I'll never go there again. No man has ever made me go crazy like a Cancer man.. They come on really strong and get you where they want you and then run away ... Its like they string you along till you get mad, then they act like they've done nothing wrong and its your fault that youre upset. You cant really figure out what it is they want from you because of this disappearing act they pull. You'd be better off if they'd just disappear forever, but they just keep coming back... sucking you in.

    I dont understand it either. I went through HELL with mine. I couldnt take it anymore... I had to stop talking to him for my own well being and sanity.

    Its not worth it. These men are wishy washy. Move on before you fall harder and get really hurt. You might be happy you did.

    Im still not over it.

    Sometimes I wonder if these men are really all that sensitive... Do they play these games to protect themselves from their hypersensitivity? Do they like you so much they can't deal with such strong emotions? Do they have to hide in their shell to figure out their feelings? What is it!?

    Always the same story with these Cancers... I just don't get it!

  • You are SO ON POINT! Yes, things would be a lot better if he would just disappear for good, but sometimes I enjoy our banter because we're both so good at it (might be both of us having Libra moons and Sagg risings respectively.)

    All I ever asked from him was honesty, something he swears he has, but I do not agree. Else why wouldn't he go for the FWB thing when I suggested it early on and spare both of us all of these misunderstandings.

    Frankly, I'd rather stick with Libras and Geminis- we tend to be on the same wave length and I know what to expect from them. LOL!

    I wish I knew why he was playing this game myself and I remember one time asking him about it and he said "All of life is a game..."

    What a b@stard.

  • Seems like he likes a challenge.

    The second you give yourself over again he will be gone again.

    Wouldn't you rather someone who you don't have to play games with just to keep them around?

  • @Diamond Diva- Yep, I could do without all of his game playing. I have to admit, I like a challenge myself and do hold it against men when they fall for me "too easily", but damn. I don't know maybe it's karma.

    ** A Little Update**

    So he calls me last night a little after nine and since I have my phone on silent I don't hear it. I'm kind of taken aback as he NEVER calls, it's always text messages or IM's, so when he starts calling, I'm like "Oh lord..." He leaves me a message asking me about what I'm doing next month and wondering if I want to come out, even throws in how much he "misses hanging out with me."

    He asked me to call back, I didn't. I actually laughed out loud as I had forgotten what his voice sounded like, and it was like hearing a 17 year old talk.

    The messed up thing is part of me wants to fuck with him. I want to go to this thing looking amazing (as only a Leo/Virgo cuspie can) and show him what he's missed out on. I'm a lot more confident since he last saw me and have my old "prowess" back from before I was with my ex. I could slice him to ribbons, make him feel unworthy, and then go home. I can almost guarantee he'd be texting and calling up a storm within 24 hours.

    Yes, in a sad way, I want to make him suffer with longing until I've crushed him into 1000 pieces and leave him broken on the floor.

    Maybe it's best that I don't go after all. LMAO!

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