What is he thinking???



  • i have talked on here about a cancer guy that i work with who is above me on here a few times. i am hoping for maybe some other cancers to help me figure out why this guy acts the way he does.we were together intimatly a few times. he got weird on me and it has been on and off again. we have not been intimate in like 4 months. i have tried to stay friends with him, but he keeps me confused all the time. we got into an arguement, and had a period where we didnt talk. then we started texting again, and even now when we text, he still always answers me. i have figured that he has things he needs to work out in his life and i do as well. ive even drawn the conclusion that things will not work out. over the last couple months, he acts so hot and cold, and i have brought this up to him. like he will stare at me at times, then at times act like he scared to death of me! i brought this up to him when he acts like he is scared or something b/c it is rediculous. i told him that it was just sex, that it was no accident, but that its not a big deal. he told me i was reading too deep into it. he is always there to help me with management things, but takes no interest in anything to do with me moving out of the area at our work away from him. well, i am moving out of the area next month.

    he is supposedly back with his girlfriend and has been for awhile. but why does he act like this with me? why does he stare at me, then run from me?? if he was just using me, then if im fine now, why cant he be normal, and or even want me to get away from him?

    he has had me an emotional mess for a year now, and i think he likes it! i have no experience with cancer men besides him, and now i am rather scared of them! can anyone tell me, why he acts like this with me?



  • Hi Wickedmoon ima cancer guy and it sounds like hes hiding a deep feeling that makes him scared when he thinks about it but i do the same things expecially the staring sometimes i cant help it some girlz are like magnets im atracted and before you knoe what happens one thing leads to another



  • he always answers my texts, and as soon as i text him after our arguement, he came right around me. but i am tryin to let him go. he doesnt seem to want me to do that, but hasnt innitiated anything more. i think he thinks i will reject him, and he cant take that. really im just tryin to focus on what i got to do, and give him space. when he sees me, i have to break the eye contact, i keep waiting on him to tell me to leave him alone, or whatever, and he never does. i dont really bother him, but just ask him things that bother me about his behavior. i dont want people to notice how he is acting. does it bother him that i am moving away now?



  • Hmmmmmm yea obviouly cares he probaly is afraid of rejection but i guess he dosent want anything bad to happen hes never going to tell you to go away he will just walk away but i still talk to girlz that ive known for years i got feeling for but i knoe we just cant be so i just keep it casual



  • in your opinion do you think he will pursue things with me again? can sex have that big of an impact on him about me? he acted jealous, obsessed, and like we were together for the longest time. he acts like there was more than there really was. he finds me when i havent saw him, things come up about him when i havent saw him, why do these things happen. i get in my mind that he cant just be friends. he acts like he cant just be friends.



  • Yea sounds like his heart is on his sleeve but just cant handle rejection so he hides it ive done that and yea i really really wanted sumthing but i cant find the words to say what i was feeling it was just to deep all i could do is stare and speak with my hands



  • so i shouldnt take it that he is bein an ass to me on purpose, he just dont know what to do with the current curcumstances. is he attached to me? is he wanting me to pursue him? i feel when he stares at me that he is tryin to say that he wants me, he hasnt let it go, but when he runs or dont talk to me, i think he is bein a ass! if he drives me this nuts, he must drive his gf even nuttier! will i just hear from him out of the blue if i disappear?



  • well if i didnt want to talk to a girl i would just ignore her lol u gotta put words like s-e-x like this so it can show up but ive never really let go of any girl ive been with and still talk to most ofem some not as often as others but i like to be an a-s-s sometimes cause its funny but he probaly has love for you but dosent knoe how to express it and if he has a gf that tuff cause when ever i did that i was trying to have my cake and eat it to basicly so its more like he dosent knoe what to do with the current circumstances its hard to weigh them out



  • i appreciate you talkin with me! i can text him and ask him where he is, and he always texts me right back and tells me. the s-e-x- is flippin as hot as any movie, but he was always into me. he would kiss my forhead and nose. ive ended it with him several times bc he wont come out and say what he wants, but he acts like i am with him. not so much anymore, bc some things have changed at work, but he gets his looks in as much as possible. what do you think i should do? is he just goin to forget about me when i move out of the area, or is that gonna drive him crazy?



  • Well i beleive that if you really want him go for it but if he has trouble talking about it if you mention it first its soooo much easier and if you leave hes not gonna break contact with you u can go to the moon and if you want him to and its possible for him he will go but the thing is with leaving your not dieing but its a chance at starting a new life its up to you realy if u wana keep him in it



  • around the beginning when we got into our arguement, i was textin him and later when we were face to face, he told me his gf found out about me. i told him he was cheating, and not really my problem. we talked about things that i was aggrivated about, then later on went back to texting. i did tell him i didnt intend on his gf finding out, but instead of droppin me like a hot pan, a perfect time to end it, tell me not to text, avoid anything to do with me, he said, "its all goood, i am not mad or upset with you i promise" and has continued to this day, we texts earlier today, and then started back up his looking at me, and stuff over the last few months again. if it was just s-e-x- then why not just drop me. but why say it was nothing, then act like it was, or is? if my bf (which i dont have) but if did, and i was not serious about him, i would tell him it was over. he didnt do this. am i bothering him? or does he want me to keep contact?



  • the texts today were short and sweet b/c it involved me telling him i was moving out of the area. so he dont wanna talk. if i was upset or something he would still be textin me right now!!



  • Sounds like he lives in lala land with you, but he has already accepted some sort of responsibilty for the girlfriends feelings, and franky may be comfortable in that situation, either not ready too let it go either,or feels too guilty too let it go like that.Cancers don't like too hurt others, but sometimes, like in his case has got caught in between a rock and hard place and would really rather not have too admit it. It sounds like you two had a thing, and he's keeping causal because he can.



  • i dont believe she even found out! i told him that too.



  • Wow, mabe it wouldn't be so bad if she did find out, so that way atleast everyone involved has the oppertunity too decide if they really want too be with people who lie and cheat. I think he was attracted too you, the reason he stares at you is because he is probably thinking lustful thoughts, not loving ones, otherwise he would be doing more too show you he was interested in more then the physical. Why do you want a man who is cheating on a girlfriend anyway? Did you know he had one when you were together? If so, mabe its she who should be here asking advice about her lying, cheating boyfriend instead. I don't mean too sound harsh, but really, this could be chalked up too a learning experiance, this man betrayed his girl, and led you astray in the process, neither one of you need him until he grows up and learns how too be honest with those in his life that be not realize he isn't being trustworthy right now.



  • This is probably something that he does feel guilty about, but he really shouldn't be upset with you regardless if she found out or not, its his responsiblity too maintain trust and intergity in his relationships and not drag anyone down with him, he hurt you, and is protecting himself from the consequences of his actions from her. This doesn't mean that he is a terrible person, but this will be a learning experiance for him as well. For your own sake as I feel your a good person who was lead, when you feel yourself being distracted by this man, and any feelings you have for him, remind yourself of the hurt, confusion he caused, and do try too sympathize with the other person who is being a made a fool out of too, because of his selfish choices, then you will in a much better place too move on and find what is going too bring out the best in you, and for you.


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