please can you help me dob 4/2/1968 12.30am, i was sexually abused from the age of 3 3/4yrs by my own father, it stopped aged 20 when i found courage to report it to the police, i tried several suicide attempts one resulting in breaking my back, i spiralled for a time into a drug induced haze but im now clean[3yrs]. im now getting my life on track, and looking forward for the first time in my life but here is the question WHY i would i choose to incarnate with such difficult situations, i have also been raped many times by various men, what is my lesson, many thanks for your help to anyone who can shed some light god bless monica1968
In my case the key was a build up of strength and Silent endurance.
I came to depend upon myself ONLY, with lots of trust issues and I lost all faith in GOD as there was no way the God I had been taught about would have left me to my situation alone.(Substitute God/Universe or whatever you are comfortable with.)
In later years I found my way back to God and never questioned it. Then when I finally went through a period of re-evaluation and was getting close with my angels, I remembered and asked. "Why is it you abandoned me back when I fully believed. trusted you and was incapable of protecting myself? Where were you?"
The answer I received was this. They were with me but I choose/needed to build up strength and endurance in order to complete my lifetask. I am ready now to begin it.
I am a liitle upset that I am just now begining it as it seems rather late to me but I am trying to trust in the Lord as I am being told that it is now time to release. Let go of my pain. Forgive my abusers (a lillte easier to do if you know it was part of your process) and move on.
Hardest part as you probably know is the letting go of control and allowing God to handel things for you now (trust issues). I'm still working on this myself as it appears to be the hardest part. I've had to stand on my own for so long, I don't know quite how to let that go.
I do not know if this is your case but I hope it helps. If you are trying to figure it out now, then it is probably your time as well to move on from your previous existance to your new path. Be open to recieving your answer.
Gabriel can help you find your path.
Uriel can help you work through your pain.
During this time, you will be or feel somewhat volnerable, however, Michael will protect you whether you call on him or not. (You will probably feel his presence as I did even though I did not recognize it at first. (I kind of wondered why I was finnaly ready to open up after all these years as prior to this I was quite fearful of the whole mess. He was bearing me up.)
I'm so sorry for your pain. There is a thread started by The Captain under What did you Come Here to Learn. http://www.tarot.com/forum/topic.php?id=6034&replies=244.
I hope she can help. Alot of bad things happen to people but it doesn't have to define us nor take our soul, heart or strength, if we don't allow it. Watching a tv reported trial recently I saw a father forgive a man who raped and murdered his daughter. I thought how could I do that & wouldn't want to have that test. Some people are more spiritual & in that lies their strength.
many thanks for that i wouldnt presume that i was the only person to go through it all the same its lovely to hear from someone else, i completely understand what you say regarding feeling alone against the world, it feels like ive battled my own corner for years and im worn down but i shall take solace that i shall return to the place where i can feel divine love again, once again thanks for taking the time to reply its very much appreciated monica