How do I stop a negative relationship pattern?



  • I am so glad too hear that, I know the job situations have people really stressed out, I've watched too many good people have too suffer and worry over this crazy economy, I must say it is amazing too hear someone say they are ready for a change, and are going too make the best of it! I too am thinking of going back too school now, my kids are still young, and some of their special needs take up considerable time, but I do hope too go back in the near future. I am so inspired by all the ways you looked at this, and came out, like "yes, bring it on'! I think your going too be more then okay!



  • auntbuck>>And you were incredibly lucky. At 45....anyone close to my age usually comes with some kind of baggage. For some reason I keep thinking it is close to trying to find a virgin at my age.

    Sandran712>>Back in my 20's with the Aries...He was a virgin when I met him...But, I guess I would be happy in this day and age to find anything decent to write home about,,,LOL..I had a classmates profile.I dropped it.I just got sick and tired of my old classmates all being divorced and messed up.Shacking up with a girlfriend.But writing to me as if they were interested.I just got fed up and cancelled my membership with classmates and disappeared into wild blue yonder....LOL



  • Aunt Buck- You know, at one time it was the guy who shouldered all of the responsibility, kept extra interests seperate and made no bones about the fact that if you mess with his woman, he'd kill whoever...(yada yada yada....right?) Now I think women have been treated as trophies for so long that the roles have begun to reverse. Dual income families and bored angry housewives and girlfriends not withstanding...nonetheless, some ladies have actually begun to follow the example that has been set by so called men for generations...and be careful not to confuse the guy that is secretly wishing for a "Heidi Fleiss" (you know that madam?) over an nice quiet everday day, mundane exclusive thing...Good luck in your new endeavors, I still am sticking to the road less traveled...



  • Hi Sandran> You know, I havn't tried classmates.com yet, but when I do, I think/hope that it will be smooth sailing, and not the nonsense you just described. Funny sometimes how the grass can appear to be greener on the other side of the hill. Sometimes I think they shack up either because they are hiding out from something or someone, and sometimes they just plain out don't want to be responsible...for anything or anyone, even themselves. I am sorry it doesn't seem to be going too well for you. As for myself, I keep looking for that compatible, cute, sweet, funny, well read guy that already has his act together.



  • Well....welll.....welll....guess who called me text me tonight??? My Libra man. Text for a while and then talked and he's miserable and I'm NOT! He is so lost with who he is....and I'm NOT. It felt good to talk and tell him the truth....you hurt me...but I'm completely ok with nothing more. He wants to be friends and I'll be his friend but I've set a course and I'm sailing and there is nothing stopping me. I have no ideas of getting back together....no desire actually. I told him I still loved him and would always love him and I'm glad for our time together but he needs to get himself together and I need to keep going with what I'm doing. Don't get me wrong...he wasn't suggesting that we get back together and I wasn't either. I got to tell him how he hurt me and my kids and my family and that until he can trust and allow someone in....he will continue the path he is on. He apparently told this woman that when she gets a divorce to call him. He's not talking to her anymore but says he still needs closure with her. Go to it!

    I think I've grown! Yea!!!! I'm so excited that this didn't sidetrack me or upset me. I read Captain's thread today about Love vs Desire and it made sense. I desired him when we split...I know now that it has grown into love and he is released and blessed to do whatever it is he needs to do. With my full support. If we end up together then we do. If we don't, it won't detour me again from what I need to do and I'm so grateful that I figured that out.



  • Wow, AuntBuck, your kicking ass and taking names! I love how brave you are, he's crazy. Thank God your not sitting around waiting for him too return, painful as that was , and here you are pushing through. This is how its done folks!



  • And 48 hours later he still cannot leave me alone. It's really sad that when he was with me and all his other relationships, he was looking back at her and now that he's with her he's looking back at me. We've gone round and round and round for 48 hours and have still ended up in the same place. Go finish what you need to finish. I will take care of what I need to take care of. If I'm here when you get back...then so be it. If you don't come back....it's not going to change the way my life is going and what I'm doing. I have also told him that by focusing on me, he's not giving her everything that he needs to give to get what he's going thru resolved. He's just creating the same situation he already has. Hmmm....been a very interesting couple days. And thru it all....I'm still strong and happy and grateful to be where I am. Life is good.



  • Auntbuck>>And 48 hours later he still cannot leave me alone.

    Sandran712>>Speaking of leaving someone alone.I've got this stalking Freaky Little Ricky still driving past my house.I just haven't crossed paths with him yet.We don't always see each other outside.But, I may sometime soon.I've been busy riding my bike.I am working on my weight loss program.I promised my self I am going to do this...



  • Sandran: That's good. I've dropped 48 pounds since he and I split. I've always used food for comfort and this is the first time I'm going the opposite way. I think that has a lot to do with how good I feel. OK, the last two days I've been battling a cold but mentally I've never felt better in my life. I still have 80 pounds to go but in two weeks I'll be able to devote so much time to it. I can't wait.



  • AuntBuck>>That's good. I've dropped 48 pounds since he and I split

    Sandran712>>I don't understand my weight loss.It won't show on the scales.But, the clothes are looser and I can see the difference in a mirror.The scale won't budge much.And I get weighed at doctors.It shows I don't lose either.Can you build muscle without exercising much?Or..maybe it's alot of swelling of water retention.I am watching portion control.They say the scales never lie.But, when you do everything and the scales don't budge but you can clearly see the weight loss.It makes no sense.My chiropractor calls it my weight is being shifted.I feel lighter when I walk.This is where I feel like giving up.When the scales don't move much.



  • Auntbuck>> I've dropped 48 pounds since he and I split

    Sandran712>>Since Sept 11 2009.My son has dropped 73 pounds.I have a thyroid disorder.holding me back a little.But, I don't think it's the thyroid issue.



  • Sandran - My best friend has the same problem. Thyroid problems and never seems to get the scale to cooperate with her. She went to a boot camp for a few months. She shed like 26 inches all over and didn't lose but maybe 5 pounds. Its very unmotivating when you can't see the numbers on the scale show you what you know is happening. For you, I'd suggest the same thing as her. Focus on how well you feel, how loose your clothes are and forget about the scale. Like our ages....the numbers on a scale are numbers....its how good we feel that counts.



  • AuntBuck>>Sandran - My best friend has the same problem. Thyroid problems and never seems to get the scale to cooperate with her

    Sandran712>>It looks like I lost 8 pounds.But, I can't tell if it's water or fat.I think my scale keeps giving different readings.I'm sorry I haven't posted much.We've had really good weather here in Ohio.And after that 30 inches of snow we had. I been taking advantage of it.I've been riding my bike outside.I am going to ask my doctor about the raw coconut oil.Something to burn fat.I been eating healthy for sometime.I eat alot of apples.I need to get rid of the already stored fat I am carrying around.I was dealt with a Vitamin D deficiency a couple months ago.I was in alot of pain with my muscles.This causes a deficiency.I was on 50,000 units a week.and I felt so much better.And since I been feeling lighter for whatever reason.I been constantly riding my bike.I was on this regime last year until my son had a stroke.And I had broken both ankles.And I was laid up almost a year for therapy.If it ain't one thing it's something else..LOL



  • REMEBER TO EDUCATE YOURSELF SANDRAN712 ON YOUR DIET&NUTRTION.CHANCES ARE YOUR DOCTOR WILL TELL YOU IT IS FATTENING,OR THAT RAW ORGANIC COCONUT OIL IS BAD FOR YOU!BUT KNOW THIS I HAD ISSUES WITH MY THYROID AND CHOLESTRAL .SINCE I'VE BEEN USING COCONUT OIL EXTRA VIRGIN I HAVE NOT HAD TO TAKE ANY MEDS FOR MY THYROID,OR CHOLESTRAL I'M GLAD I DID TAKE A CHANCE AND GET RID OF THAT PHRAMA CRAP!



  • Thunder>>RAW ORGANIC COCONUT OIL

    Sandran712>>I mentioned this to my Chiropractor today..He did hear of it.He said it's a solid.and it needs to be warmed up to a liquid in order to digest it..He did not make fun of it or anything.He just mentioned that It may not work for all.Not all things work for everybody.I am going to talk to health food store about it.And of course ask the doctor about it too.



  • i keep mine out at room temp...continue to learn sadransico



  • I tried the coconut oil and found that I could stick a teaspoon of it in my tea in the morning. That made it liquid. I didn't do it very long. I don't think I saw any results on it, however its been a while so I don't remember completely. I know the thyroid problem is very hard to get around. Good luck!



  • Auntbuck>>I know the thyroid problem is very hard to get around. Good luck!

    Sandran712>>I have been seeing results using the Metamucil orange./Psyllium fiber.It doesn't have to be Metamucil.It does have to say Psyllium fiber.And you have to drink it 3 times a day/with your meals.I need this because I have to take Calcium therapy and its the only thing that keeps the bowels moving past this Calcium.



  • yeah,i usecoral calcium kills the pain in the joints pretty effectively stop using regular painkillers. i take 3 caps aday.have you tried the fiber husk stuff?



  • Thunder>>have you tried the fiber husk stuff?

    Sandran712>>That is what this psyllium stuff says.I tried Benefiber.And it doesn't work for me.It is ok.But, I wanted faster results.I will bring all this stuff up to my doctor.I really wish I can help my thinning hair.I think it's caused by my thyroid.My mom 's hair is not as thin as mine and she is 70 years old.And I am getting sick of complaining to my doctor about my hair.It's fragile.Pretty pitiful that my mom being 70 has more volume in her hair than I do at 46.


Log in to reply