The Captain I have a question.



  • Hi Its is ME again Rebecca I need to ask you a question.

    Last Tuesday my dad had to be admitted in the hospital for chest pain.s 4 yrs ago he had open heart surgery. Hes been doing great this is the first time hes had any kind of pain or problems.

    He was released Friday from the hospital and was told to go on and keep doing what hes been doing and if he has any problems to go into the ER.

    Ok heres my question, my boyfriend has not spoken to me since Thursday of last wk, is he upset due to my dad was in the hospital and he and I could not go out Friday? I have tried to contact him and he will not pick up the phone or will he reply back to im's. Yes I have given him space. The last time I called was Friday evening. Then I left him a im asking him if I call would he pick up he did not reply to the im nor did he pick up when I called. Hes a Pisces (3-11-60).

    Thanks in advance for your time, I greatly appreciate it.

    Rebecca



  • Read your question with detachment as if a stranger was asking you for advice and except the honest answer. This man is telling you something important about the way he loves and how it relates to you and your beliefs--you are very loyal and family is high on the list. You are committment aware. You live by rules for yourself. Your Pisces is a very free spirit and he also prefers to be at the wheel of his own ship. You are attracted to this as it is deep down you wish you could be more like that--yet when tested the reality is it IS NOT who you are. This relationship can strentghen your sense of self if you use it to mirror who you are. What ever you do do not feel guilty! Believe me your Fish does not feel a bit guilty for expressing what he will do or not do. It is his way or the highway. Is this what you want? Enjoy his company if you can without great expectation or let this one go for a more compatible mate. He is not committment material. To ignore this truth about him will find you feeling abandoned when you feel you need him most. He is a fairweather friend at the most. Stop trying to connect or force a response from him and as soon as he feels you have let go you will hear from him. He does enjoy you but gets slippery when grasped too tightly.



  • I diddn't mean to jump in Captain! Didn't even notice untill now you were adressed. Maybe you are finally getting some sleep? You work so hard, God knows you deserve some rest!



  • WOW thank you. By the way I am a Libra (10/21/63)

    The thing is, I am feeling that he thinks I have either lied to him and I haven't I really haven't I don't believe in that due to the 11 yrs I was married thats all my Ex did was lie and swear to the man up stairs that he was/is telling me the truth. OR he thinks I planned it that way and I didn't. My dad was to have surgery on Friday. They came in and told him that it was canceled. I went to see him on Friday and the Dr still had not come in to tell him why it was canceled or if it was to be rescheduled. I and my mom came on home and my dad called to say he was to be released that morning. So they had to wait till Saturday morning. This is why I have this feeling that either he thinks I am lying or planned it this way.

    And NO I don't want to lose the man. I have deep deep feelings for him. I knew before he and I met that hes the one. But the deal was sealed the night we finally met and he asked for a hug and when he held me in his arms I knew then this is the man I have been looking for.

    This is such a long story. It really is I just wish I could tell it so the picture is clear and you/Captain could get a better look at it. Make sense????? My brain is soooo tired I can't think straight due to not sleeping since I have not heard from him.

    Thanks

    Becca



  • You did nothing wrong. Step back and center yourself. Read your post--honestly what kind of person would judge your actions as wrong enough to completely turn there back on you. Why would he punish you--are you really deserving of that? Please be kinder to yourself--stop giving this event so much energy. You can't sustain jumping hoops to keep the perfect man. You just be yourself and expect his devotion and compassion for better or for worse. Why would he think the worst of you? These are not good signs. I'm not saying the chemistry is not wonderful between you but there is more to a relationship. You need to center yourself and rest your mind. Let it go and he will be back. Maybe Captain can give you some better insite as all I see is you shouldn't have to work so hard in this relationship. Be kind to yourself. You deserve to feel loved.



  • Blmoon, I don't mind anyone jumping in with answers. No one person can see all the truth.

    As to you Shihian, well they say that in every relationship there is one person who loves more than the other. I feel your friend is not as in to you as you are to him and I don't see that changing. He is very self-absorbed. I feel he is very much caught up in his own life and interests and you come in a rough second or even third. If you think that's what you want, then stay with it.

    But I really think you deserve and can do much better.



  • Thank you Captain, I guess I need to do some serious soul searching. If what you are saying is true, then I have wasted 3 yrs of my life.......

    Becca



  • No, you have learned a lesson about life and people and that is never a waste - in fact it is what we all come here for.



  • Its not that...I gave him my heart. And all my love. 2nd time I have been hurt. I will not do this again. I am 47 and its not worth it. Its not worth the hurt the heart ache the pain.

    Becca



  • hello Shihian, You certainly are justified in being concerned about a future with this man, a relationship requires understanding when an unexpected emergency arises. I understand how you might be feeling and his reaction to situations in your life outside of him make him sound completely selfish and imature. I hope you can realize that YES it could be a turning point but always remember you did nothing wrong. I agree with Bloom and the Captain. SENDING YOU A BIG HUG ............LEONIDA



  • Yes, love is a gamble unless you learn to listen to your gut instincts and not your heart. But too often we so quickly engage the heart before we can bring objectiivity into the picture. The challenge is not to become embittered by our experiences but stay open and trusting that something better, rather than the same or worse, will come along. I see no advantage to living life as a pessimist. You only hurt yourself that way - maybe even more so than anyone else can.



  • The Captain and Leonida

    Thank you both for your advice. Today, is his birthday. I did call and leave him a message and I did wish him a Happy Birthday. Its been a week since we last talked. I just don't get it. Pisces men are so so hard to understand...figure out....Maybe I am too emotional. I don't know. I just don't know.

    Thanks again

    Becca



  • His birthday? Buy YOURSELF some flowers. You are too emotional? Maybe by his rules but you are perfect amongst your own kind. For some reason you bring out the protective mother instinct in me. Somewhere in your history you learned to stifle your anger when it was really apropriate. He is a reflection of this loss of empowerment. You should be angry with his behavioure and judgement regarding your choices and instead you turn an apropriate anger and redirected towards YOURSELF. I so pray you grasp this cycle of pain as I sense you are on the brink of enlightenment but need just a little more encouragement to get you past this. A feel a big energy gathering around you trying to help you. Anger is not all bad--a good anger establishes boundries and protects you. Please defend yourself--he was wrong--does not deserve your generouse defense of him and more importantly he does not hold it in value--he does not care what you think. He is as strong in his belief in himself as you are as weak in defending yourself. Celebrate who you are and you will attract those who apreciate that. Please, buy yourself flowers or at least something indulgent--be good to yourself. You deserve it. Blessings.


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