stonyeye last edited by
Hey Witchwoman, I've been reading with interest the Akashic Records thread. I have been trying to get to the point where I could take a visit and read mine but am currently a little too scattered to really meditate with focus. I've read the Sylvia Browne books about it and a few others with advice for doing so but need to learn to quiet my mind more. I am so thrilled to read your experiences and those of others on the thread though! Really fascinating stuff !
"I've got a little issue with fire" No kidding! Unbelievable about your bed catching on fire from the reflection of the sun from your mirror! I think that's probably very true what you say about these scary events where luckily nobody was hurt warning us in some way to be more cautious in the future so that something worse doesn't come along.
You know, I was just in the bookstore today and browsing through the metaphysical section and ended up flipping through one of the most moving books written by people who had near death experiences. they literally were pronounced dead and came back to life. Some of the experiences of what happened during this brief moment were told by children and it had me wiping tears away in the store. It was so beautiful and so reassuring. All of the people who were interviewed said they have absolutely no fear of death now and that there really is no such thing as death anyway. Many described leaving their bodies just moments before the actual death took place and immediately being enveloped and greeted by relatives who had passed on and yes! even pets to help them understand what was happening and to comfort them and make sure they were not scared. They also felt the greatest understanding they gleaned from the experience was to go back and live life with as much joy and love as possible. i must get the name of the book and pass on to all of you. For some reason I think you might be interested.
Ok...and just for you WitchWoman. ...remember the paw reaching out of the cage and catching his little claw on my sleeve as I passed? I present to you.....Marv the cat.....a much loved member of my soul group. haha and feel free to post your cutesy animal photos too!
What a Beautiful boy:-) I'm in the middle of writing a boring unit descriptor for a new course that I volunteered to be on the committee for (that was bright) and thought I'd take a break and see what you girls are up to and who should I be greeted by, but Mr Marv!:-) He sure has been the highlight of my afternoon. I just want to get that belly and run my hands through it and fluff his face up:-) He certainly has brought a smile to my face, and as a result, Gertrude has been swamped with extra attention! Don't you just Lurrve them. I shall endeavour to post a photo of her, but as we know, it's no easy feat. ..however I shall try:-)
They Must be soul family - my heart was warmed to read your recollections of that book SE, where it assured that passed over pets were also there to greet. How wonderful to know.
The Akashic post is so interesting, would love to hear about your experiences when you can chill out and find a moment.
Me & Mao about 1994:-)
Mao & Me 1994
(dumb hair, don't know who's responsible)
I shall persist...
Arrrggggggggggggggg. I really dont understand why it's not uplaoding. I may try again later, bit over it for now:-)xxx
Stonyeye, yes it definitely made me realize I have to not only be aware of things that strike me but listen. The listening is hard, my brother and I so often tease that we hear things in "that still small voice". I pray that they make it more evident and increase the volume. LOL
I have come to understand many reasons I was needed out of that home and placed under some of these circumstances. Again it goes back to my kid, we had just had a falling out before that what unfolded required me to be there, for her. I think I was removed from my safety zone to be there for her under the circumstances I would not have gone voluntarily otherwise, sure was an odd wake up call.
As for the hands on throat thing I agree with you. Nothing upsets me more than when I feel strangled. Suffering with bad allergies a good bit of my life causes that feeling from time to time, sure is scary. Never any flash backs or anything but it sure makes you wonder. Hanging sounds like a viable option.
WW - Sorry to hear of your fire too. Like you said I think we are not meant to be there or are removed quite without our own plans being considered. You said "it has been allowed to take place to Really make us aware of being more careful to prevent a worse tragedy. or remove us from a future scenario." You don't know how right you were with that statement. My nephew was crashing at my place at the time and afterward he & I had a hard time coming to grips with the family home so many had loved and come to for sanctuary over the years. Then I said to him, I think you & I were supposed to be there together, knowing it was our safe haven, somehow destined that we needed to be elsewhere and were not going to go without being forced. For me it was being there for an expectant daughter under sometimes dangerous conditions and for my nephew it restored his crumbling marriage. I'm fully aware had the fire not occurred I might never have been a part of my grandchild's life. She is very much the light of my life so to be aware of that is a gift in itself in spite of the soot and loss that had to occur to get me there. It's strange how looking back the most devastating day in my life has come to mean such a revitalization in my life and an opportunity for positive change. I'm here so it's still in the works but all of you very much play a part in my healing process.
Oddly enough like you I love to watch an open pit fire or a fireplace. I've never been afraid of fire but the fire that was in my room that day, held me frozen with fear for just a minute. Maybe that minute was just long enough to gain my respect and attention.
Hope you too heal from the fire loss you suffered. Small or large it leaves an everlasting impression on us.
WW amazing about the car fire too. Sadly you were meant to go home,at least your neighbor was there to help and like you said it prevented you from being trapped unable to call for help with your child. I know what you mean about getting the phone. Smart move.
Strange how we are directed in life. Sometimes I feel like a pawn on a chess board. No matter which way I think I want to go, someone else is really in control and directs those moves whether I like them or not. Current job situation or lack thereof is another fine example of that.
stonyeye last edited by
It's ok WW. I It took me AGES to figure out how to make photos the correct size to be posted here! I can't wait to see lovely Mao or Gertrude (love the name Gertrude!) when you get it sorted out. Marv is here purring on my lap and I've been running my fingers through his furry ruff...telling him it's from you! I'm such a crazy cat lady.
RC Dreamer, your last sentence really hit home. It is funny how you can do everything in your power to move in a certain direction but if it is not "destined" to be then one certainly can feel like a pawn on the chessboard of life. I just keep the faith that if we put enough intention out there, the right thing will eventually turn up. An example of that.......I'm a teacher and keep looking for teaching jobs but for the past three years I keep falling into opportunities to work with horses and getting offered jobs working with them! It's so weird. The light bulb has finally gone on and I'm starting to think the universe is telling me I'm not meant to be a teacher anymore and should be working with horses....duh! I wonder if the same thing is happening to you? You may not be finding a job yet because the right job that will make you happy has not come along and you are being steered into a more fulfilling profession?
Hope you all are having a wonderful weekend. Love the chats here! Is it sad that I come here first before even checking my e-mails? lol! XX
AW! I can just about feel his fluffy belly & chinny-chops too:-) Yes, Busted - I'm one of those nutty catlladies AND I'm a teacher too, Stonyeye!
My teaching jobs are few and far between - I've been questioning lately if maybe I'm meant to be doing something different too. I teach adult literacy and have been a teacher's aid (integration we call it here) for many years.
I'm starting to question, "is this what I really want to do, or am I pursuing it because that's what I've been doing for a while?" Hmmm, food for thought...
I have read or heard somewhere that when you become more spiritually minded and in tune with yourself, your life can be thrown into turmoil because it's not really representative of who you are anymore, or a part of you is fighting against the tide to follow your true path while your 'reality' self is all confused and unsettled with this new discontent. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I get the sense that you're so accustomed to being a teacher that the idea of not pursuing that career is feeling like you're not being responsible or doing what you 'should' be doing. After all, you are College educated and have been a teacher all this time. Sorry if I'm jumping to conclusions, I just feel uneasiness on your behalf, and not relaxing into enjoying your time playing with your friends (working with horses which is not a REAL job), and forgetting about teaching for a time. Jeez I've always got to put in my two-bobs with you, just tell me to shutup!:-)
The horse options sound perfect ! You love horses, they love you and you can always go back to teaching at some stage if it's meant to be - or just maybe, your equestrian friends will lead you to a certain dark haired Gent upon a fine steed, hmm?:-)
You just never know...however, our higher selves do apparently. I'd just like to know why isn't MINE making herself known! Maybe I've just got to fine tune this damned aerial of mine, to be able to glean more of her wise insights & knowledge. (rising & moon Sag accounts for the sarcasm)
I'm a bit of a sad-case too in that I generally fire up my saved page before anything to see who's been chatting!:-) I think it's great that not only have we got each other to talk about weirdo stuff with, but that anyone who's interested can have a quiet read if they wish and benefit as well.
RC, what sort of job are you after, if you don't mind me asking? Have you considered a course? Call me crazy, but an image of water colours and chalk pastels just popped in my head & I've heard time & time again not to sensor what impressions you get to develop your intuition, so there it is my friend.
Look forward to hearing from you girls:-)
Stonyeye, thanks for the encouragement. I come here first too, well most of the time. Just proves we are being drawn to a place of comfort in my book. A place of guidance and acceptance where we can truly be ourselves. At least that's how this forum makes me feel and you don't know how much that means to me right now in my life.
Just had another disheartening conversation with my kid. If only she would take the blinders off and realize she is not alone and who she turns to whenever things don't go her way. If only.... I think I have reached a point in my life where I'm tired of being hurt or made to feel bad. I have always put others first, I still do and yet it seems to go unappreciated. I'm kind of feeling like one of your horses just kicked me in the gut and I'm not so sure I want to keep getting up to take another hit. I am trying so hard to let go and give my direction if you will over to the higher power who is so obviously directing it. But I keep wondering is it my direction being plotted or maybe just maybe I'm a pawn meant to block the direction another wants to go. I feel like it's me being pushed and pulled in life but maybe I'm just an obstacle to make others make different choices. Does that make any sense at all? Maybe none of it has to with me at all.
WW - Turmoil, wow what a great explanation. You just described the kind of morning I've been having. I just emailed a friend to vent. You know I am trying so hard to really find my way, the way I was supposed to have, that was intended for me not of my choice. I've consciously allowed that fear of lacking the control take a back seat in hopes the end results will somehow be worth it all. But anguish, turmoil, feeling very much pushed and pulled, kind of like riding a tornado, may as well enjoy the ride because God only knows where you're going to end up. I want to say I'm getting nausea can we stop the ride I want to get off but I'm afraid if I do I'll just keep on floundering. It feels like now is when I'm supposed to come to terms with these changes destiny has in store for me if you will. Anyone else feel that way.
As for the job, most of my experience is administrative, office management. I've been pretty much looking for the same kind of job so I can maintain a Monday to Friday schedule and still be there for my granddaughter. Back to considering others first you know. Watercolors huh? it's funny you mention that. I don't think there is a chance in the world I could make a living doing it but I did paint for a time. I was just thinking about it yesterday in fact maybe you just read my thoughts. I don't think I'm very good but with the nice weather we had yesterday it made me wonder what would I have painted if I'd had the time and materials to do it. Just a way to relax and see what develops I suppose. If you have other thoughts or impressions on that though I'm open to suggestions.
Today is one of those days where I am feeling very much a victim. I am doing my best to fight the feelings but emotional flare ups over stupid stuff here at home have me feeling that way. Financially we need each other but I'd like to think that isn't the only reason we are together on this journey. I guess it's just mother daughter stuff butting heads sure has been a sad morning.
I'm feeling for you:-( Maybe I got the painting image - there it goes again, watercolours & chalk pastels, feels really calming and washy- to nudge you to take time out from everything & everyone, and do something creative, tap into your intuition and be guided, express your emotions through this medium. Have you onsidered writing and illustrating a chidrens book? I'm can see a children's book printed on the kind of textured paper used for watercolours, like blotting paper. Even if it never goes to print and you make it for your granddaughter, what a wonerful rewarding project, and she will love & treasure it. Maybe you can write it about her or yourself as a child - Or her mother! Or all 3 of you as little girls/faries/mermaids and friends. It will be great therapy and maybe help bring you all closer
When people are all stuck together at home with little money and stressed and upset, it's inevitable that you are going to but heads over little things. There is a new thread that is something like, "2 Questions about magic.." it may be worth you looking at, esp the post by Ibeleive mentioning vision boards. It's been on my list to do for ages, but now I'm all fired up to do it.
Have a Great day today, warm friendship
Hng in there my friend, I've been a real sook lately all overwhelmed and down, but I'm so glad I've got my friends here to come and talk about interesting things, off load& vent, and feel ready to go again. I'm so sure to keep my internet connection paid, its my lifeline at the moment!lol.
Sending you & everyone extra special witchy vibes for a much better day,
WW thanks for your kindness. I am so grateful to be able to come here and vent and ask my questions. I feel very much like you are all my gal pals to chit chat with. When I was a kid my mom was always dragging me to some friend of hers home to have tea and "chit chat". I never much had that opportunity and feeling kind of isolated right now only makes that more obvious to me. So thanks to all of you for allowing me tell you my troubles and ask for your advice.
Come to think of it you may very well have picked up on the painting thing as a creative outlet. I was just talking to my sister-in-law about needing to do something creative as an outlet. I do write often but lately more about this stuff. I should try something for the granddaughter, she is the joy in my life so why not celebrate that, especially now. Writing does let me release the feelings that are so bottled up inside. I feel like I'm going to burst right now. I so appreciate that you are there to just tell my troubles to so to speak. Your advice means a lot, it comes from a caring heart I can see that and that says so much about a person.
I too have considered the vision board,I kept mistakenly calling it a dream board. I too had put it off but it has been coming to mind lately. I suppose I need to take or make the time to do something about that. Perhaps it will help me gravitate more quickly to the things that are important and be blessed in the process. I'll check out the other thread too.
I agree this place is my lifeline too. We are so lucky to have it to come to, glad we could meet this way and be there for one another.
Hey there girlfriend(s)!
Sorry I didn't reply sooner, I missed your last post somehow.
Yes! Definatel write your childrens book & illustrate it too. What a Beautiful keepske for your granddaughter. Imagine how many little souls you may touch with your book too.
Maybe, it could have an underlying spiritual theme about how they're special, God & the angels and their guides are always always there for them and how eveyone feels blue sometimes. Something like that is coming to me, not that I'm anything to go by:-)
That's amazing that you actually DO paint, I just kept seeing watercolours reading your post and had to say!
This certainly is a great avenue to hook up with new likeminded friends, and lety it all out at times and be there to support each other.
Sincerely hope things are improving between you & your daughter, just let her know you love her and are there for her no matter what. If she's behaving in a way that you don't approve of, maybe you just have to think of it as a part of her journey that she has chosen prior to this life, to learn some lessons, or perhaps teach some. Must be difficult for you to live together at times. I
Do feel free to vent and let us know how things are going for you.
Warm friendship & love,
Thanks, I'll have to give some thought to the childrens book idea. I have some silly sort of songs/stories I share with my granddaughter, maybe I need to get them in writing so they aren't lost in my memory one day. I love that you are seeing watercolors. I actually used oils/acrylics moreso than watercolors. But in my meditations I see a lot of brilliant colors almost like swirling paint floating around in front of my minds eye. It is wild that you picked that up, especially the brilliant blue, they tell me that is St. Michaels healing color, Lord knows I need that one.
I don't think I'm right about it for the last couple days I have just separated myself from the frustrations being caused by this relationship my daughter is putting in my face. I can't fight about it and win on any logical level and I HATE to FIGHT so I've decided it's not worth putting myself through that. When the tension in my neck gets unbearable I leave the room and escape to my bedroom or I go for a walk. I'm getting some reading done and allowing my body time to just rest, not sleep but kind of just go limp a bit, it feels like something I need to do. For my own sanity if nothing else. Right now my daughter is not in a mind set to hear anything I have to say, even that I love her so I'm pretty much staying quiet. At times that works because my lack of saying anything gets to her sometimes more than what I actually say. I'm still praying for our angels to work on it and for my dad to get in her head. I think that is working. But I feel like I need to heal myself for what lies ahead. I think this is just one stage of a larger battle yet to come. I'm not sure I'm ready for it. I don't think I ever will be but if I don't "train" for it sort of I'll lose for sure. That could mean separating us as a family and allowing this man to win by doing so. I'm not prepared to do that, in this lifetime but I let go it's in God's hands. I hope the outcome is something I can accept and tolerate and that won't harm my girls. Letting go even to God is so hard but I feel like if I didn't give it up it would consume me and I'd be lost in the process. If you read my post feeling under attack you'll understand more of the details. I'm trying not to put them out there and give them more energy again.
I love getting feedback from all my pals here and I can't tell you what it means to me to be able to openly discuss the subjects that have been taboo in so many circles.
Hope to keep in touch for a long while.
Hey RCdreamer and forum friends,
How are you? Sorry I've been missing in action...Had a few things to contend with that were demanding my attention and draining my energy.
I think getting your stories down that you've been sharing with your granddaughter is a fabulous idea. Funny you should mention blue, because thats the dominant colour I've been seeing when it comes to you, like a beautiful darker blue, not quite navy, but like a watercolour wash over a pattern or drawing done in maybe crayon or oil pastel. Could be an underwater scene, it's just a bit vague. But I'm still amazed that painting made sense to you, & I'm glad I shared with you what I was getting when I read your posts!:-)
Have you considered getting counselling for you & your daughter? That's if she is agreeable of course.
I haven't read your other thread yet to get what is the issue, but I do feel that you really need to let it go and trust that God & his angels are on to it, and when you stop worrying (easy said) and really trust that it will all work out in due course and believe that no matter how things may look now, and even if you can't imagine how it will work out better than you can hope for, just trust that with God all things are possible. He can see the bigger picture unlike us. I really feel that although it will be painful and scarey, one day in the not too distant future, you will sit back and go,"Ah, I wish I didn't worry so much, everythings turned out better than I hoped!"
If you can let go of wanting a certain outcome and just decide to get on with positive activities meanwhile, your daughter will sense that change in you and stop fighting you and become far more relaxed around you. I really don't mean to make you feel I'm blaming you for how things are,or make you feel more loaded down, I'm just getting the strong impression that when you truly hand it over to God and truly trust that he's on to it, that's when your load will be lightened and positive energy will flow into the situation my friend.
Meanwhile, shower your granddaughter with love, write down your stories, get that blue water colour out and thank God and his angels in advance for working it out. Remeber too, heaven doesn't work to our timeline! Although things may not seem like they are progressing, there may be a number of different processes going on behind the scenes that you couldn't possibly know about, all in the name of the highest good of all concerned.
Another thing to keep in mind is that your daughter may have a soul contract or karma to work out with other people and although you may not like one little bit sitting back and watching her endure or even contribute to a negative situation, it may just have to play out, and anyone interfering may just prolong the process.
This is a soul group thread afterall ! Maybe there is something to the soul mate idea that soul mates are not necessarily here to show us a warm & fuzzy time, but perhaps needed / pra-arranged lessons/contracts, that are not always pleasant at the time, but our soul reaps the rewards and benefits for emerging a tad wiser?
Anyway, enough of my ramblings,
Hope you are hanging in there,
WW, Good morning, I've missed your comments. But I will admit I too have not been as active here as is my norm. Like you said other things taking up the energy or precedence. I will make this brief as I have an interview this morning. I thank you for all your thoughts and suggestions regarding my daughter you may very well be right, perhaps I just have to step back and see what God is doing with her by his handling the circumstance. Right wrong or indifferent I've kind of taken a step back. I haven't ranted and raved about anything, just sort of begun to go on with my own things as if we were two ships in the same port but not on the same course so to speak. Letting her do her thing (cringing still of course but in privacy). I am hoping for a good outcome but have to focus my energy on other things I must resolve for myself. I cannot allow this man to suck the energy from me. The blue you are dead on, will elaborate later. My granddaughter and I have a great bond and I treasure every moment with her, some even moreso now as I worry what the future holds. But today my focus is not on worry. Will get back to you with more info later today. Many blessings and have a great day.