Endless circle of failure

  • My name is josh .. i am new to this site.. i was wondering if anyone could give me insight on a major porblem in my life .... throught the reading of cards i have come to relize my life follows a certin pattern .. an pattern that leads me back to the same thing ..... in this circle there s me constantly hurting sombody .. me constantly causing problems for myself .. and just utter failure .. could you please give me some insight on why this keeps happening // why my life seems to not be going anywhere ... i would also if its not to much to ask like insight on my uncanny ability to hurt myself mentaly and emotionally even when its not my problems.. i would greatly appreceate it


  • Perspective is everything---it is the only thing we have control over. You are more human than you realize. We all wind our way through life making repeated circles--failing and learrning. Such is life-- to live is to fail. One of the rewards of aging is the clearer picture we get when it comes to the big picture. The road to wisdom is paved in excess and much of our early failures facilitate our road to enlightenment. Meaning, we are all here on earth to find ourselves despite our enviorment or relationships. If you are noticing a pattern than you are doing something right. We all have a shadow side that we must recognize and balance with our higher self. It's something we learn to manage but it is always there. That is why it is so advised to know yourself and success will follow. You would help yourself more if you maintained a more positive perspective of unpleasant situations and look for the lesson learned. Often, on a spiritual level we seek out the very drama that exposes our shadow side so we may give it a name--the truth will set you free best describes this event. When we can learn to see our dark side without judgement and self loathing we are able to loosen its power. Practice makes perfect. Skip the self flogging after shock and just get back out there and do it differently and get better at progressing--life is a journey. Spirit says you need to get out of your head more--you can isolate yourself sometimes and isolation gets you in trouble with your loved ones as detachment means loosing your sensitivety to others feelings--you get accused of being insensitive and not there for others. Your intentions are misread at a distance. You suffer periods of depression that nead extra physical and mental distraction with a positive energy. You need to stay constructively busy--take care of your body better and surround yourself with positive people. People surprise you in relationships--they start out gentle and giving but turn needy and you feel trapped and will bite whateverr it takes to get free fast. Keep in mind that as we change our vibrations so do we attract others to match our progress. Loving yourself or not is key to your current lesson. Don't dwell on the failures and avoid worry about the future as only the moment truely exhists.

  • Hi Josh

    How do the answers to these questions make you feel?:

    1. Do you hate yourself?

    2. Do you have a feeling of shame that you are expressing by punishing yourself?

    3. Do you have a feeling that you are not good enough?

    4. Do you have a sorrow in life, and is that sorrow that you hate yourself?

    5. Do you have a strong urge to make problems for yourself, to create obstacles for yourself?

    6. Do you feel a wish to give away all responcibility of your own life?

    Just suggesting. Talking from my own experience.

  • If you are focusing on past mistakes, the same mistakes may occur.

    If you are saying to yourself: "I always make mistakes." Then you will be obedient to those words and always make mistakes.

    Another thing is: If a person have not yet left the past - the past will not go away.

    A friend of mine had a girlfriend who f-cked her father threw her whole childhood. It was traumatic for him. The next girlfriend had a perverted father who were feeling a sexual attraction to her. He helped her realise it, but himself he got problems because of fear of finding out that she was f-cking her father. But she was not, she was luckily not interested in that. Then, 15 years after he was with his first girlfriend - he got a girlfriend whom had been f-cking with her mother since she was very young. And he had made her pregnant.

    I told him: Stop focusing on the past, and all this pattern will leave you.

    He lightened up and admitted that he had not yet stopped complaining about the first girlfriend. And promiced that he would stop.

    Then, short time after, he called me and told me that the pregnancy that his mother-fucking girlfriend had been naturally aborted. She no longer was pregnant and he could continue his life working on leaving his bad past fully - to fully prevent that it ever happened again.

    Just to illustrate how our mind shapes our behaviour and even our "bad luck".

  • mother-f*cking girlfriend was the words. Nasty word, that one. Please excuse my bad language.

  • Needless to say: He left the last girfriend aswell. She definately was not good. Needless to say. What a mother-in-law that would be.

  • thanks to both .. blmoon that is really good info it made me think ... only thing i know the pattern but i just cant see when im doing it .... lol you pegged me pretty well.. i wouldent exspect less ... and the hanged woman .. yes it is how i feel ... i try and meditate to help me but .. with no guidence i feel it is useless trying to do it wit no one to ell you what and what not to do ... but how do i let go of te past when i want to remember and learn from it

  • jdmisrcq,

    I totally agree with you and ask the same questions.......how do you let go of the bad habits and thought processes that you've had all your life, how do you change it so that you no longer do the same things that bring you the same responses. For me is it beating myself up far more than anyone else could, how do I stop that and taking blame for things that are not even my fault and allowing others to treat me badly? I tell myself I am a good person and that I deserve good things in my life and happiness but obviously there is still something down in the subconscious that holds me back. Also feeling like when I have someone good in my life or things are going well, that they will hurt me/leave me/let me down/disappoint me and I end up pushing them away first so I don't get hurt.

    I wonder the same thing, how do you get get past it and change when that's all you've ever done, even when you realise and accept what you are doing and how you sabotage yourself. We really are our own worst enemies aren't we. I'm working on changing things for myself, I'll let you know when I figure out how we do it!!!! Until then, be kind to yourself.

  • Do you know how many times i said i was not going to do that again and would do it again its a visious circle have you ever tried wishing a proplem away did it work sounds good but did it work?If i dont have much money and i have two kids i am raiseing so money is real tight and i have a meeting in a town thats about 30 miles away i am the main speaker and i am running late so i get out on the interstate and i am doing the speed limit and i have a thought if i speed up i can probaley get there on time so i ease my foot down on the accelrator and speed up and the next thing i do is look in my mirror to see where the cop is i created a fear then if i get stoped i get a ticket that cost alot of money i dont have and i am cussing the cop for costing me this money and now i am way late and i blame it own someone else for the problem i created so were is the solution where is the problem speeding ? no the speeding stemed from running late and that i was willing to throw away money i needed for my kids i did this because i was afraid what others would think of me and its real simple if i would just leave early look at the problems i could of avoided .Do you see how we create alot of our own problems DC

  • Dont be afraid of the past. Dont fear that it will repeat itself. Stop worrying. Stop thinking about it. Stop focusing on it.

    The Bible has illustrated it very well, in my own view:

    The story is about Lot, a holy man, who was given a sign from God that he had to leave his town, where he had been living with his wife and their children. In other words, leave his life, leave the past. He then took his family with him, and they walked away from the town. While walking, the wife turned back to look at the town she was leaving. What happened to her? She froze. She became like a statue. Lot continued walking, leaving everything behind. He was holy, doing the best thing.

    This is an illustration of what happens when we keep looking at the past: We stop moving forward, we freeze into the past. like being paralised by the images of the past. But we must live now. That is our spiritual challenge. That is what we must excercise in doing all the time throughout our entire lives. So that we will not loose ourselves into the images of the past. We must let go of our mind and trust in God.

  • First we acknowledge what we've learned so that we can let go.

    But for those of us who can't seem to let go and play the tape over & over again--what have we missed? What is the message that we don't want to hear?

    Or what reward or need is fulfilled by holding on to the past?

    Is the comfort of the familiar(however negative) keeping us from going forward out of fear--by continuing to play the role we have adopted?

    Do we have a need to "prove" that we are lovable by hurting and testing those we love?

    Do we seek unconditional love and in doing so abdicate our responsibility in failed relationships?

    Are we working out issues from our past in current relationships?

    Do we eagerly enter a relationship or commitment and then feeling trapped, do what we can to wriggle out of it?

    Do we sacrifice ourselves to relationship and give disproportionately out of a weak sense of self and then wonder why the other could be so ungrateful as to hurt us or want to leave?

  • Well said. Very equivalent.

  • Hanged woman--I just jumped in after reading Josh's comment. Seems we are on the same wavelength. Your vision and advice is sound!!

    Josh--take heart. Inner work is not an instant process and we can keep going 'round in that circle until we truly see and integrate the lessons that life is teaching us. From my own experience(and I am in my fifties) with some lessons it has felt as though there is a veil obscuring the truth. They will come in their own time when we are ready for them. This is the reason not to let guilt or self-recrimination take you under it's tow. The universe/God does not judge us as we judge ourselves. Self-forgiveness is so important and what allows us to be open in order to absorb these lessons and move forward.

  • Archersbow: Yes, I was surprized by the similarities between your first post and my first post.


    My advice for you in order to leave the past, is to seek. Guidance. Wisdom. What have other people learned? What are other people talking about, when they talk about "the right way", inner healing?

    Here is a short list:




    Islam (perhaps)

    Different types of other directions of meditations, perhaps

    Subud (as I am)

    Eckhart Tolles speaches about forgiveness and surrendering and leaving the past, are helpful to many. What he talks about is aligned with what I have have experienced. His speaches are published on youtube.com

  • Archersbow / Hanged Woman,

    Thank you both so much for your posts, gives me much to think about and learn from.

  • yes thnks so much .. im trying to break this habit .... i even try meditating .. but somthing is not letting me dissconnect myself from the physical world

  • Just follow the advices in taoism, christianity, buddhism or whatever you feel is right. They are actually preaching the same: Detachment from the thinking, connecting to the inner guidance from God within.

Log in to reply