Captain, Can You Give Me Insight Into My Virgo Man?



  • I was born on May 3, 1960, in Bad Kreuznach German at 10:55 a.m. My Virgo born on August 26, 1960, in Brooklyn, and don't know the time. He has been married several times and I was living with my Taurus man and our son. The Taurus man suffered a massive stroke on my son's 11th birthday and has been in a care facility ever since. He lost his ability to balance himself and cannot walk without assistance, is legally blind and has some cognitive issues. Had to go on with my life and started a relationship with Virgo. We live together and he has done so much for me and my son, but something worries me and I can't put my finger on it. I get the feeling that I am not his 100% everything and I can't shake it. I am normally not a possessive person but this feeling that he may leave at any minute or when something better comes around, really does a number on me. Can you shed any light for me? I would be so grateful. I need some guidance please. Tauras Timer



  • Well, for a start, Timer, it's unrealistic to expect someone to devote themselves 100% to you. People have their work, their families, their hobbies etc. to put some of their attention into. Neither do you devote 100% of yourself to your Virgo. Your insecurity comes from the fact that your husband slipped away on you through his stroke and now you are afraid of losing everyone else who is important to you. This is an irrational fear because there is nothing you can do to hold onto people if they choose or are forced to leave. Being possessive will only drive them away faster. All you can do is relax and enjoy whatever time you have together, instead of obsessing over what you may or may not lose. Your sense of security was shaken by your husband's ill health but you must learn that no one else can provide the inner security you need, except you. Depending on others will only make you weaker and them resentful of having to carry you.

    There is a seriousness between you and the Virgo man which is reflected in the sacrifices that you both are willing to make, often doing without for months and years so that ultimately you get what you want and be where you want to be. This dedication implies tremendous unity of purpose, guts and determination. It also demands that channels of communication remain open so that counterproductive misunderstandings (like a fear that your friend will leave you) can be quickly rectified.

    Your friend has a need for relatively unserious involvements that will let him loosen up and have fun. Thus, if you apply excessive rules, structures and demands on him, your relationship will be crippled by your fears and insecurities. There needs to be an easy give-and-take here, and any tensions may make enjoyment of the rewards of your hard work and dedication difficult or even impossible. Although your friend's choice of a mate may in many repsects be realistic, you may not respond with enough passion through your holding back your love in case he leaves. This will arouse your friend's insecurities - his feelings of not being attractive or worthy enough - and withdrawal and anxiety are likely to result. Thus your fears of losing him may result in that very thing you fear happening unless you can give more of yourself. Cultivate more fun and romance in your relationship and ease up on the serious stuff and possessiveness.



  • Captain,

    A sincere thank you for the reply. You are absolutely right and I will work on being less concerned with the future and focus on the now with regard to our relationship. I do have a question with regard to your response wherein you say, "Although your friend's choice of a mate may in many respects be realistic, you may not respond with enough passion through your holding back your love in case he leaves." Can you clarfiy that for me. I assume the choice of mate is me? Finally, do you see him cheating? Any additional insights from you would be greatly appreciated and I thank you for taking the time to respond to me. It has helped open my eyes and given me a new perspective.

    Timer



  • Dear Captain

    Can you give tell me about this virgo man that I have been friends with for so long his b-day 9/12/60 my b-day 7/16/60 where we stand in this relationship

    Thank you Star49



  • Star49, please start your own thread and I will answer you there.



  • Timer, I don't see your man cheating but he will leave you altogether if you don't let up on being so serious and possessive.

    "Although your friend's choice of a mate may in many respects be realistic, you may not respond with enough passion through your holding back your love in case he leaves."

    This means that your friend's reason for choosing you may have initially been practical - he was attracted to your earthiness - but he also requires some passion from you which you tend to hold back in case he does not prove worthy of the risk.



  • Dear Captain,

    It's been almost 3 months since your very insightful perceptions of my relationship with my Virgo man. You opened up my mind to some new ways of thinking and I thank you for that. If I could call upon you again, I would greatly appreciate it. We are coming to a cross roads in the very near future with regard to our living situation. He desires a certain location and I have a child who is entering high school where we live now. Sometimes it's not what he says, but what he doesn't say that might be his way of letting me know things may end for us. I would appreciate your wisdom on this one . . . is the end near for us?

    With kindest regards,

    Timer



  • Timer, you need to talk this through with your partner. Tell him you have worries about your child who is at a very vulnerable stage of their education and that it might not be a good time to uproot them. Reassure him of your love (if that is what you feel) but make it clear you need to consider your child's welfare. Then perhaps together you will find a solution that may involve your partner moving and you joining him later, or whatever. But be open and honest with each other about what each of you wants.



  • Captain,

    Thank you for taking the time to respond, I very much appreciate it. We have had recent discussions on this topic and I have voiced my concerns about my child's schooling and my desire to remain in our current location for that reason. In the end, we are never able to come up with a concerete plan or solution. His response is "I just don't know yet." Admittedly, I have not focused on my love for him and will inlcude this in our next discussion. Thanks again, Captain!

    Regards,

    Timer


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