TheCaptain Can You Help or See Anything w/this Person
Hi, Have known this man for about a yr. Have been seeing and dating for 5 months. Very talkative, creative. Good business person--smart. Says I'm his GF but he has friend of many years that can't seem to shake loose from. Haven't really asked him to end friendship but am getting annoyed from it. I'm getting a feeling that should probably back-out of this. We wanted me to come over and have a couple drinks. Had to call friend to help her install some computer software. Thought it inappropriate to call while I was there. Either way, I feel like an outsider a lot of the time. My BD 02-03-60, HIS 09-28-40. We get along very well otherwise. Told him I was upset by all this and would let him decide what he wanted to do. So, what is your advice. Thanks.
Dalia, this works better as a friendship than as a marriage or a long term intimate relationship. This matchup is not well suited to high seriousness. Its focus is on keeping the mood light and safely on the surface; humour and quick wit are characteristic here. Perhaps fated to a degree of superficiality, this combination is often geared to having a good time, employing the full roster of entertaining activities, from games to parties to films and television. Religious, philosophical or spiritual reflection is rarely found at the core of such a relationship but may be sorely needed by a matchup that lacks a firm ideological foundation. The relationship may however attempt to substitute more transitory values of a social, political or artistic nature to help fulfill this need.
In a love affair, neither of you seems interested in causing problems for the other. Yet this is precisely what your friend will do: His overly critical and at times fastidious manner can make you, the more relaxed of the two, rather uptight. Sarcasm and wordplay can assume prominent roles here. Personal hang-ups and thin skin are likely to cause explosions of temper between you. Furthermore, your somewhat lacksadaisical approach may madden your friend if he is in search of a more clearly defined philosophy. Physically, his sexual intensity may prove threatening to you who is the more sensual. A marriage between you is not recommended.
When he called you his girlfriend, that is precisely how he thinks of you - his friend who happens to be a girl. He didn't say you were his exclusive girlfriend, did he?
Thank you so much for responding. What an accurate account. He, at times, can be critical. But, the general scope you gave is very accurate. My intentions are very sincere. What he doesn't realize is that I'm not going to back-track. He loves to talk and have fun. But, underneath there is a real coldness. There is a definate difference in personalities here which is funny because we do get along very well on a social and intellectual level really. I don't think he is always forthright, so there is deception. Have to keep it light and airy.
Would appreciate any more input and I think you have a real gift w/your abilities.