Very young soul on a quest
Ever wake up one day and realize you don't know who you are, what you are doing in this world? This has literally happened to me. The realization is that I'm not sure I know what love is let alone a soul mate (although I want to believe in both AND I am married and have a child). As a person who has just coasted through existence thus far, I am the end of my tether and my soul is finally screaming at me to BE!
I have read some of the more general questions on this forum in search of some enlightening perspective. I have recently delved into astrology and tarot (I am aquarius, cancer moon, aries ascending, btw.) I find I know less than I did before and I find that I am continuing to be cut off from that emotion "love" and from any intuitiveness about anything on my own part. I am quite intrigued at those that have these gifts!
My question, then, is what do I need to do to grow? To just BE and not need or desire. To know the meaning of messages. To know why people are put in my path.
Maybe too big of a topic? If anyone has a little grain of wisdom to share, it is most welcome.
To understand something, you have to be open. It's like trying to understand a subject. You will then browse books and articles, connect with like minded people also on the same quest or already find their paths. You will receive all this information, with an open mind and open heart. Because we are born with the spiritual and the physical. To life live in balance, is to utilize both the mind and the psyche. Among all the information, a few will cling to you. You will then follow where they lead you, and one day, you will find the path meant for you. It's the same process as sorting information. To find one, you have to open to many possibilities or information.
To be open, you have to clear your views. You can not open the door to information, if you have a lot of things stacked up behind it. Turn inward and look within. Clear out past baggages. You don't need them. Make amends whenever necessary and possible. Start a new. This is your first step, before everything else.
Be honest, have integrity, be true to yourself , learn about
healthy boundaries, meditate , try vipassana, try tungslen, read about various philosophies, see which stirs
those juices up in you!!!
Best to you...
Your needs and desires are part of your being. The only thing you need to grow is to learn from the experiences yo have in your life. The people that we become involved in in our life all have lessons to teach us. What we need to develop ourselves and move forward to the next lesson. If you do not learn these lessons you do not move forward. You become stuck in a repeating pattern because you resist it. Your own morality and emotions is who you are.
You don't feel your husband is your soul mate? Maybe you became involved with him when you were young but haven't accepted the lessons his presence in your life was to teach you and this has kept you from moving on or letting your love become something deeper and have the meaning you are searching for.
Leoscorpian and Goldenhill has good advice. Why don't you leave your birth date and hopefully the Captain will come along and have some advise for you.
you ask why people are put in your path, so you can learn from them and they can learn from you, you are growing all the time, experience is the best teacher, life is the journey and their is no rush, although we would like it to be all their, some of the most enlightened people, still say they havent hit the first run of the ladder yet, we are human we are here to experience earth school, but we are also learning to become enlightened and more in touch with the higher self, what i suggest you start to do is to meditate each day, focus upon your breathing, get a hold of some meditation cds that will take you thru a journey, you say you have child, your a mother and a wife, what have you learned from your husband, what lessons have you learned in your marraige, what do you learn from your child, what is love,? pure love is from the divine, it does not judge condem, hate, hurt its just their, as it is in its true divine form, when you feel that love that is when you will know what love is, its a vibration that encompasses you and your whole being, it is healing it is beautiful, that is love in its purest form, on earth we have love for one another in different form as we have our ego and other feelings,life is the journey and the people we meet teach us our lesson that we have come to learn, dont be in a hurry as you will miss and have to go back over the same old ground, look to what you have learned from your relationship, meditate, speak with like minded people, accept others for their mistakes as they are learning too, their is a book that is interesting to read, and its called conversations with god, and also the power of now, of which the guy has written a second book that is much easier to understand, your heart charkra maybe blocked a s of the thoughts and problems you maybe experiencing and going thru, have a healing from a good healer, lots to do, and remember that you are the most important person in your life, doesnt mean you say blow to every one else it just means that you have to look after yourself and your child and your life, meditate, healing, and focus upon yourself and child, you are on your journey, enjoy it and see the good in everything, may you find what you are seeking and continue on with love in your heart, a roof over your head, kind and loving freinds, and money in your purse to live with, love and blessings to you dotxxx one step at a time and start from the beggining, meditat and healing
p.s. a little tip that was given to me ages back, KISS, keep it simple sister, think about it, people teach us about ourselves as we do them,
exactly as PiscesParadox mentioned
we are all spirits, coming to the physical world to learn and move forward.
we can learn from hardships and from each other. since life is meant to move forward, the universe will throw challenges now and then for us to learn from. until we learn from it, the universe will keep throwing similar challenges.
your life has become stagnant. it is time to move forward. the universe has sent you something or someone that makes you prompt these questions about yourself and the purpose of being here. the universe has led you here, to people that can help.
don't let your life stay stagnant. read the advices and turn inward. the psyche speaks through the heart, among many ways. your heart will know which advice to follow. in order to move forward, you have to leave the past baggage behind. Shed the old skin and gain a new one. This is why, the first thing to do, is to start a new. When you start a new, your old self dies, the new self emerges. You will then be ready to collect information, be it books/articles/spiritual people around you and one day you will find your path to enlightenment.
I do believe in soul mates, but that is another subject you will learn along the way. In everything we have to start from within. Once you understand your purpose of being here, your path, then you can learn about the purpose of your relationship and everyone else's role in your life. Take a little step at a time. There is no need for speed and competition in spiritual life.
Thank-you all for your insightful comments. What I have learned in life is that I have made decisions out of fear. I feel I cannot change this pattern without shedding the mask. Very painful, but needed, I know. I am a good person, sympathetic and empathetic, but feel no real passion for anything or anybody; I fear that. I am making steps to gain knowledge, meeting with a friend who is a Reiki Master tonight. Hopefully she can help me start a healing process. Inner work is so hard, I tend to ignore it...baby steps! I feel I am ready to rock this boat! I have started doing a lot of reading and will look into books mentioned, thank-you.
If The Captain does stop by- my birthday is 1/31/69. I have discovered I'm a Cancer moon and Aries rising, an interesting combination I think.
good luck and yes I believe Goldenhill did mention some good books there or else she won't recommend them. She is a very kind soul herself.
you can also try meditation and yoga. let me know if you need a link for that.
Like I said, little step at a time, so when you are ready, just keep bumping this thread,
I will see it someday.
take care and hope the best for your meeting.
I found a very good center where I can get all kinds of spiritual guidance, reiki, chakra balancing, meditation assistance, etc. Recommended highly from my Reiki Master friend, actually her teachers. But in particular, they are mediums-realizing I didn't grieve my mother's death, she died when I was 18, maybe something to that...?
Thank-you for your support!
if TheCAptain sees this, I would be interested in anything he might have to say about my birth stats.
Perhaps your growth depends upon not denying the emotions from your Cancer moon. Logic
may have served you well but emotions in a very real way connect us to Soul. You said
that you never grieved for your mother. Yes, this could very well have created a blockage so that you have difficulty living in the "now", as well as trusting your own, as well as others, emotions and could also affect relationships with women. I would say that's a pre-requisite for just "being" and the joy of living. Denying desires would be cutting off the path to wisdom. They are natural and real conduits to self-knowledge and the soul's purpose in any given lifetime. Yes, work with the chakras seems to be in order, especially the Heart. I wish you light on your journey...
Thank-you archersbow, that resonates with me. Yes, yes, yes! I think I realize it now because I have felt all these new desires, passions, and emotions. I don't want them because, well, I am an Aquarius, hence the cutting off of all feelings? So, I guess my original post was unintentionally misleading: I AM cut off from deep love still, but I have had this new influx of passion enter my life and I can't handle it, I feel very cut open and raw. I DON"T want to deny this part of me, but I am scared it will ruin my life (of course, this is partly due to a Pisces man who has come into my life...) My mother-the first thing to tackle-the only person in my family I GOT (she was an Aries, I am Aries ascending; father virgo, sister leo cusp virgo, sister very closed-off cap). Didn't realize I was so confused about how I think and feel! Thank-you all for the sound advice you have given me and will continue my quest for enlightenment and healing! Hoping to get a reading and some Reiki in the next few weeks, in the meantime have started meditating-can only do about 5 minutes before losing focus, ughh! LOL!
Hi I just read your message and I was in the same position as you are facing! I am 46 and have three grown kids and was married for 22 years. I have been divrced for 8 now. I was also searching for my "soul mate" and just when I thought all was lost, low and behold I found him! My advice to you is to just let it happen and I promise you you will persevere and find tour contentment you are seekink! Just don't give up and just be yourself, most of all don't let men degrade you as most of them think with there penis and not there heads! I wish you the best of luck and would like to here back from you. Hang in there girlfriend. My motto is "God is good and karma will get you!!