Could really use advice

  • Hi, I'm a newbie and could really use some advice. Last week my house was broken into and I have been suspecting a friend. I have no proof just my gut feeling and a lot of weird behaviour to go on. My son and hers are best friends and I have to see her everyday at school. I have been trying to avoid her and so she has been sending me text messages. Against my better judgement on the advice of my fiance I haven't answered her. She told me the police told her we suspect her, the police said they didn't. She came looking for me in my sons classroom this morning and then rang me shortly after. She says she didn't do it and was crying and telling me what a bad friend I am for not coming to her. I told her she is right, I should have sent her a message or something but didn't as it was causing arguments with my fiance. She said I am under his thump and will be a very lonely woman. Her daughter lent my daughter some pjs which I need to return and I have to see her everyday at school. Call me a whimp but I just want to run away from the whole thing. Everytime I think about it I feel physically ill and pain in my back and neck. I don't have any proof and could have made a horrible mistake. I could really do with some advice. Any help would be much appreciated.

  • Be very careful - this woman has become obsessed with you. She is quite unstable mentally and yes I do think it was her who instigated the break-in, though I don't feel it was her in the flesh. You are right to feel uneasy - post the PJs back and cut off all contact. If you have to see her at school and in the area, be polite but not encouraging. This woman has done this sort of thing to other people she has known and it never ends well.

  • Thanks so much Captain. That would explain the strong physical reaction I keep having at the thought of seeing her. I have managed to avoid her this arvo by getting my boy out of school early. Obviously I am not going to be able to keep doing that but I am just going to take it day by day.

    I was wondering if you would know who the other two people involved are? I have my suspicions but not sure if I am right or not. Hope you don't mind me asking, if you do just let me know.

    Thanks so much.

  • I feel this woman manipulates her children into doing what she wants, and there is also a male relative or friend who she calls on from time to time.

  • Yes, she has told her 9 year old daughter about it. I think she is trying to manipulate me or make me feel bad by telling me that her daughter is so upset by it. I also think maybe her brother is involved. I had a man in a 4 wheel drive, drive really slowly past my house and stare at me the whole time. It was really eerie and scary. I don't know if it has anything to do with anything but it felt like it did. I don't know if this is maybe a brother or something.

    I really appreciate all your help, this woman has me worried. I will post the pj's back today.

  • I feel sorry for her children that they have to put up with her mania. She really needs professional help. Don't let her manipulate you or your children. Don't engage with her in any way or thought.

  • Don't worry I am going to do my best to avoid her. The hard part is my kids keep mentioning her and her kids and asking for play dates. When they see her they call out to her. My plan is to give them play dates with other kids and then hopefully they will shift their focus.

  • Sounds like a good idea to keep yourself and your kids away. Sad for the kids' friendships though.

    How long has this woman lived in your area?

  • I know it is really sad and her kids are really fantastic kids. That's why I plan to just let it happen slowly with encouragement with other friends instead of saying anything. My kids don't even know what has happened and hopefully I can keep it that way. She lives just round the corner and has been there for a couple of years I think. I don't think she will be moving anytime soon as they are planning to rebuild.

  • I am feeling she did this same sort of thing before where she used to live. Got in trouble with the police there, too.

    Oh yes she has your stuff - I can feel her holding it and examining at it. It makes her feel like she has YOU. Ugh! This person is a definite stalker.

  • You know I have been wondering about that. Ohh I would move from the school except my son has an excellent teacher and some really good friends I don't want to take him away from it. His first couple of years weren't so good.

    Do you think the police will catch her out this time. I know they have applied for phone records to see if there is any connection between her and another guy we think might be involved. They had to wait 10 days before they could get them which will be early next week I think or the end of this week.

    I knew there was a reason I felt so sick and anxious everytime I saw her. Some of my friends keep telling me I am reacting to something in her that I don't like in me but I knew it was more than that. Way too strong a feeling.

  • I have a feeling she might just get away with it this time but if you leave her alone and pull back your energy and not pursue her over this matter, she should move onto someone else. Taking your stuff has sort of satisfied her that she has 'gotten' you. I think you got off lightly compared to what she is capable of and has done. Next time she will pick the wrong person.

  • After reading your post, my gut feeling is that this woman is involved. How are they entering your house. You will have to set very clear boundaries with her. Run away from the situation is ok. Just remember, don't play the whimp around her. If you have to totally avoid her that's fine. Don't be afraid to rely on your gut instinct.

  • ps--There's something I'm not real clear on. It seems that she is dependent or relies on you for something. I'm feeling that she can't seem to break free from. People steal because they feel that they can get away with it. I would just tell her that the police are fully aware of the situation and leave it at that.

  • Dear Captain, I really am trying to pull back. Somehow she keeps pulling into the car park at school straight after me even though I have been arriving at different times. My daughters keep calling out and waving to her and dawdling so they can try to see her. I had to tell them this morning that we had an argument and she makes mummy feel yucky so please don't do that because I don't want to see her. I really didn't want to say anything to them but it makes it really hard to avoid her when they doing that. I didn't look at her or acknowledge her in any way I just grabbed my daughter out of the car and told them to hurry up and walked to my sons classroom. His teacher said I can drop him off early so I might do that tomorrow, that way I only have this afternoon and tomorrow afternoon to worry about and then his father will be home and can take him for a few days. I don't think she will come anywhere near me whilst I am with him as I think she is scared of him.

    Dear Dalia, They jumped the back fence and smashed the back door. I probably do seem a bit whimpy as I just keep trying to avoid her and get away as quick as I can. I tell myself I will not do this but for some reason as soon as I am anywhere near her I feel so anxious I just want to get as far away as possible.

    I have no idea what she is dependant or relying on me for. Not a clue. I will have a think about it and if anything comes to mind will let you know. I think she does feel she has gotten away with it. Just so hard to avoid her as I have to walk right past where she sits every afternoon and she doesn't even need to leave her car to get her kids and I have two little ones to buckle in so it's really hard to get away quickly. Hopefully if the kids stop singing out to her and drop my son really early before she gets there that will help. I will be so happy on Friday when my love will be with me.

  • Don't even try to think of a reasonable way to deal with her as she is in no way reasonable or stable. But don't show her any fear, either. Just give her nothing to feed off.

  • Dear Captain, I have followed your advice as best I can and done a little psychic protection as well. I have had to tell my children that she and I have had an argument and are no longer friends and to stop calling out, waving and trying to wait for her. I have decided to take my power back and to stop being scared of her. This all seems to be helping immensly. I want to thank you for the time you have put into this and all your help and advice. I really appreciate it. You have helped me so much through a really difficult time.

    Love and light xx

  • You should also cleanse your house because of the bad vibes that were brought in.

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