The Scale and The Crab
I need help with approching with a cancer. id known him for 5 years and we're best friends...but hardly any communication. He just confusses me to much. i honestly dont know what he want from me somtimes....just,what are the signs? im a libra Oct.1, Cancer is july 18.any advice?
My teenage love was a libra. We had a very good s.e.x.u.a.l relationship. We also, had our very tender moments. I think with Cancer and Libra it's really boils down to the Water and Air. I know that I was able to really love my air sign but we parted ways. We were good with each other but our thinking processes got in the way. Here's my key to success for this match:
- Libra, do all the family things that come natural to you and be that person that's willing to walk with him through life on his arm.
*Libra and Cancer are signs of leadership so there will need to be many compromises needed. Challenge Cancer on social matters not family matters. That's what I meant by compromise.
*Libra will not understand the depth of Cancerian emotions. She should just let it pass and he will get over them. Your gift of patience wiil be you greatest asset with this match.
*Cancer will want you Libra to let your hair down. Not literally. They want you to not only think practical and pragmatically but to to empathize and support.
*Libra, I don't know if you are this type of Libra or not but don't get insulted because there are some that do. Fix your hair, wear appropriate outfits, and don't tell those long stories about nothing...
I am a Libra and my husband is a Cancer. We met when we were 15, dated intensely for a few months (which is like FOREVER when you are 15), then broke up, dated, broke up, dated, etc until we were 21. We dated steadily until we got engaged at 24 and married five months later. Now at 42 we are getting divorced. I still love him with all my heart but I CAN NOT live with him anymore. He has sucked the life out of me. I got to the point where I no longer knew who I was as a person. I have spent so many years trying to "balance" our relationship and "keep peace" at all costs that I truly don't know if I am capable of formulating my own thoughts. His mood swings are so intense that I spent the last 18 years trying to predict what kind of mood he would be in at any given time and preparing my children and myself for every possible scenario. Gawd forbid I predicted or prepared incorrectly there would be heck to pay.
He has the sharpest tongue and the quickest mind of anyone I have ever met. He could bring me to my knees with just two or three sentences where I would feel as if someone was stabbing me in my heart and twisting the knife.
Yet he could be so sweet and loving and giving that it was so easy to see past the "bad" and live for the "good". I always knew that if I could just "fix" whatever was wrong things could be even that much better.
Eventually it got to the point that it was always "bad". My children were affected in the sense that all they worried about was "what is Dad going to say?" or "is Dad going to be mad?" or "how should we tell Dad?" I realized I was setting a terrible example for them (both girls). I didn't want them to grow up thinking the only way to make a man/husband/father happy is to constantly grovel, apologize and succumb to his every wish/demand. I decided to get out while I could still (somewhat) think for myself.
Filing for divorce is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.
skettilover, Filing for divorce is difficult! There will be many times that you question yourself about the decision. It took me five years to come to the conclusion that divorce was imminent. You are doing what is best for you and your two girls. They shouldn't be subjected to the toxicity you described. Sounded like you were describing my ex. I too felt the life being sucked out of me.I couldn't take any more.I tried for 19 years to help him maintain stability. I felt like an anchor on a boat being dragged along thru the murcky waters. My divorce was just finalized on Wednesday. I will say that the load has lightened quite a bit now. The finalization wasn't as gratifying as I expected it to be. My three boys and I are in a much more tranquil environment. I too did not want them to grow up around a "mad man". I wish you the best. The road may seem long but your on the right path. Good luck and God bless you.
lawdawq, thank you for these useful keys. i do think patience is important for me,somtimes ill be hard to ignore his comments and immeturity.somtimes he would act like he likes me, and i would just love that about him,when he's like that he's really calm and lovable...but at most of the times ill seem like he just pushes me away.and this would frustrait me. i just want to sit him down and yell at him."Stop messing around!!! WHAT Do You Want from me!!!do you even like me?!?!?!"...but i can never do that for some reason..........
...we go to the same school,but now our classes are seperated.....and he even said once that maybe the reason we're best friends now, is cause we go to the same train to go home. i really want to chane that. but i would love the times we are at the train station.we would stay there for a long time,skipping many of our trains( he goes south i go north)...but i dont know what to say anymore. im so quit...but i want to say so much to him,i just dont know how. we're going to sepreate schools next year,and i just might not see him again, or as much.what to do....
There's nothing wrong with being friends with someone. Friend, however, do not expect their friends to love, need and miss them like lovers do. So you have to not ask why he does what he does but why you do what you do.
Do you think he is the only one for you? Can you decide that I will want him, need him only if he needs and want me? That's the challenge. Take back your power. Take back your life.
You will be hurt, but you will hurt now so you can move forward by letting you feeling be known and living with the consequences of that decision.