Wondering about the holidays

  • I wish I had a hint as to, if I will have some money to get my kids Christmas this year and if this Christmas will be more enjoyable then last Christmas was? Thanksgiving is coming up in a few days and I really don't have money for a big dinner and my oven is broke. lol. I know this all may sound trivial and small, but this has been a rough year the the kids and I.

  • BUMP

  • Kay, hang in there, sweetie...I'm not getting anything yet, but I've sounded the alarm and I KNOW the precious people here will be responding to you soon.

  • Thank you. I appreciate this.

  • Is there anything you need that can help? Like my date of birth etc..?

  • kay328 darlin its time to make new traditions. You and the kids if they are old enough can go and help feed the homeless. You'll get feed and you will be teaching the kids that there are people out there that don't have as much as they do. And you will feel better and so will they. Or what ever you have there to fix for your dinner you can do something different with. And say the turkey wanted to be with his own family this year. Make spaghetti and tell them the meat is turkey and you just fixing it a different way. And as for Xmas be honest just tell them your doing your best and there will be other Xmas' to look forward to. My most beautiful tree was the one my kids and I cut down the first year without their dad. Didn't expect him to do anything for them anyway. But I got lucky they were going to clear the property the first of the year to build and so the trees were free. I popped popcorn (no butter please) and we strung it. I bought a bag a cranberry's and we strung those. I didn't want to use the decorations that we always used because I didn't want them sad from looking at what was familiar. I went to a store called Pick N Save I think was the name. And I bought some old fashioned wooden decorations. Put our lights on and made some other things and it truly was the prettiest tree I ever had. Use your imagination and the kids make things at school so they are creative. Try some paper mache stuff using magazines and so you will have some colors. Wrap it on some balloons blown up. When they are dry break the balloons. I used to do this but used crochet thread around the ballons. You can use flour and water to make a paste for stiffening. Please look at this as a time for your imagination. Go out and get some twigs and make picture frames as a gift. Popsicle sticks anything, be creative. Your the teacher and they will remember this Xmas longer than they do some of the others. Not in a bad way either. I hope I helped. Much love for you and yours.

  • Thank you, LibrasLair. You have given me something to think about. I actually use to be more creative in my imagination, then I seem to be these days?

  • Libra, you made me cry, you sweet sentimental thing,you! You've given ME plenty to think about, too. I love you more each day! Resist the urge,Libra! Just go with it!!

    Kay, hang on. You will be amazed at what is coming to you, especially from this site. THAT I can absolutely promise you!

    Blessings, sweethearts

  • Thanks now you go girl!

  • All I have ever wanted in this life was my kids to be healthy, happy and love me and a man who loved me for all of who, I am and that was ok. I don't care about having a new house, car or anything like that. I would prefer love and a equal balance of support emotionally, then any material thing in this world. Love is all we can take with us when we leave this world, nothing else matters.

    Peace and Blessings to both of you.

  • This is true.

  • Kay, I feel that things WILL be ok for you and the holidays will not be as glum as you think. Remember Libra's VERY valuable advice, that Christmas, like anything, is what YOU make it.

    On a practical note, contact your local churches to see if they have a "giving tree" (I know the Catholic church near me does this) where your children could put down what they'd like and people try and get it,or as close as they can. Don't forget "Toys for Tots" and other organizations.

    If they're older and want more expensive things, I know as a mom you want to give them everything, but if you tell them IN A HAPPY AND ASSURED WAY, that this year was a toughie but things are looking good for the future and they, like you, will have a whole lot to look forward to soon ...and whats wrong with having Christmas in JULY?? No one knows when the actual date was and the MEANING is what we are meant to celebrate. They will surprise you with their reaction. Make sure you DO make the time special...slumber party in the living room with movies and games, writing a dream book for the family for what next your will, and things like Libra's amazing ideas.

    Now, I feel that your question is more of a statement for your true feelings and worries about your life but you're shifting the focus to that. Do you feel like its selfish of you to want things for yourself? Or that focusing on your loneliness and need for compassion shouldn't be as important as the kids? I feel that, deep down,THATS the issue. Its NOT selfish to feel run down and tired and wish for things like love. Being a mom does not mean you stop being a woman.

    I also feel that there is someone you're thinking of and you wish/wonder if this is something you've been looking for. I don't get a bad feeling about him, BUT I do feel that you might be thinking of him more out of isolation and loneliness than true compatibility. I recommend being a very good friend and taking things VERY slow because, I'm not sure that he is as much what you want as he is what you think you need. And you deserve a man who is BOTH.

    You need to get out of the doldrums you're in, and we all know this time of year can SURE bring it on! But work on you, where your coming from and where you want to go.

    Also,this is going to sound like an old record,but if you can't use a neighbors oven or otherwise can't do thanksgiving, i can't recommend highly enough the blessing that packing up the kids and volunteering at one of the many thanksgiving kitchens can be. I've done it myself and can tell you firsthand that, far from being sad or depressing, it is a FUN and uplifting way to spend the day. You will have a blast and so will the kids, as well as learning something about who they are and what they DO have. I feel that if you do this, something REALLY good will come of it.

    Blessings and Love to you,hon

  • Libra, what do u think?

  • I know that some places have tree with the kids names on them and anyone can pick a child and buy a gift for them. I don't know who anymore. Contact Veterans Legion I know they invite children at Xmas and give gifts, Kiwanis Clubs. There must be organizations in your area that can tell you. May be social services can tell you that. Or City Hall.

  • Toys for Tots and the Fire Dept collect for that one.

  • Food Banks and the schools should have some information. I hope that these are helpful.

  • You're a genius!

    Thank You!

  • I was kind of drawing a blank trying to think of the names of places that do this type of thing.

  • Thank you for this. Its giving me something to work at. Keeping busy, although I am always working and tired, helps me to focus and stop worrying so much And yes, I feel like I do not deserve to want anything for me, including a mate. (so to speak)

    I know it may not be typical of my astrology sign of Aries, but I am told I give to much and I am too nice, which gets me into trouble, because people walk over me and take advantage.

    I just try to treat folks the way that I would like to be treated, I didn't think that was asking or doing to much. IDK.

    As far as the guy in my life, he's great really, but I am impatient and yet I am also guarded, at the same time. He is guarded and isn't ready to rush into things. Actually I find that to be a good thing for me, but there are times I want things to progress more.

    I just am not sure about what it is I am suppose to be doing.

  • Kay328,

    My mother was a single Mum for many years while I was growing up. I tell you what really sticks out for me is not the fact that we didn't have much (we didn't have many toys and weren't able to go to many places etc), what sticks out for me is feeling loved and wanted, looked after and never feeling like my Mum resented the burden of being a single parent. The feeling of being loved and wanted and cared for outweighs any of the difficult times that we may have had.

    It will not be what you can give your kids this Thanks Giving or Christmas, but the joy of the day spent together and making it as fun and enjoyable as possible because what they will remember is years to come is not what they were given as a present that day, or what you had to eat, but the joy of being together, the love and fun you had with them. It only need be simple things that make them feel important to you and that you have given them attention and quality time.

    I want to tell you a story about something that really stands out for me as kid. It was my Mum's birthday. I had started to knit her a scarf from scraps of wool (I was around 10 years old). I had knitted so far before deciding that I had knitted enough and deciding to turn the scarf into a hat. So I thread wool through all the loops and pulled it closed and sewed up the side (so picture hat looking more like a tea cosy with big round hole in the top, knitted from various colours, thickness and texture of wool). The day before my Mum had worked afternoon shift as a nurse's aide and I had found a self-sauce pudding in the cupboard and cooked it up as a birthday cake for my Mum in a heart shaped tin. When I had finished, I "hid" it in the freezer ready for the next day. I also cut up a carrot and had enough money from cashing in the old glass coke bottles (used to get a 20 cent refund on them) to buy her a birthday card and small pkt of twisties. So I also "prepared" the twisties, opened them up and put them into a bowl, the cut up pieces of carrot into another bowl and hid them in my cupboard ready for the next day, with the birthday card.

    So the next day arrives, I'm all excited......I put the kettle on to make her a coffee and organise Mum's little birthday party. My younger brother and I go in and wake her up, give my Mum this godawful knitted hat, which she puts on, make her a coffee and bring in the food. My Mum sat in bed with her beanie pulled down on her head, drinking the coffee I made her, eating those stale twisties, cut up carrots and frozen self-sauce pudding cake. AND she smiled and laughed through the whole thing and made me feel like the most special kid in the world for organising such a wonderful birthday party for her. I've NEVER forgotten that, I'm 38 now, and doubt I ever will. That was her love for me, even though we didn't have much, I had everything I needed. THAT is the sort of stuff your kids will remember in years to come, so please don't beat yourself up that you can't give them the material things.

Log in to reply