Wondering about the holidays
No worrys! Thats good to hear. The holidays are usually crazy but its good that things are falling in place. For some reason kay I just saw a flash of someone buying a car. So that may mean something is going to come into possesion or someones buying a new/used car, :). It looks turquoise, like a nissan like a mini coupe looking style.
Dearest Kay ~
I have not posted yet but I have been following this thread from the beginning. I did try to post in the beginning but computer crashed so I took that as a sign that it was not yet time for us to speak. I have been praying for you and my prayers have been answered as you are here with us today! You are very talented in your poetry and that is something I think you should continue. Sometimes writing is very theraputic whether we share it or just keep it for our own eyes. So please continue this practice and share with others this gift you have.
I think alot of folks have thoughts at times if life is worth living, especially around the holidays but it is not our decision to make when our life should end! We have trials to make us stronger, to help our soul in its evolutionary process...God will not give you things that you do not have the strength inside to overcome...just sometimes we have to dig deep, real deep to find that strength that is indeed there. I'm not sure if I should share this, but I will. This past Monday, a high school friend of mine had to speak at a funeral, a childhood friend that took her own life. Cheryl shared with us how difficult it was to be there with her friend's daughters who are in their early 20's. The girls are grieving, lost, angry & have so many questions..."did we not love mom enough, did she not love us, were we not good children to her, did we do something wrong, did we not do enough, was she not proud of us, did she not know how proud we were that she was our mom, did she not know how much we need her, how much we love her, who will we go to when we have questions & need help & advice with our children?...." so many questions these girls have. I'm am so glad Kay, so very glad that your children do not have to go through this kind of agony! Your children will always need you Kay, and you will always need them. Even as adults, we need our parents, even though we don't always show or express it.
Enough said on that because you are strong Kay, stronger then you know! I, like you, am a single mom and it's hard at times. My ex does not send the court ordered child support and sometimes things get difficult but I have faith and faith has seen me through alot. I moved away from everyone I knew, my family and friends and started a new life in another state where my dad moved with my now former stepmom (that was almost 8 yrs ago). We have a good life Kay, me and my son. My former stepmom will always be my stepmom even though she & my dad are no longer married and my son will always be her grandson. We found a house that wasn't much but it was what I could afford and we have built on to it and it is just what we need. I am doing it all myself Kay, and it can be done. I won't lie to you, things are tough at times but they always have a way of working out...for me, just when I need them to the most. Keep faith Kay that all will work out & it will. There will be trials along the way but keep faith. You have made many friends here that were willing to open their hearts to help a complete stranger....this is a good place to be with all the love and support! When you need strength, love & support, you will find it here...even when you've just had a bad day, the people here will cheer you up!
I hope to hear of your many successes and of your inspiring words of poetry! Keep the faith!
With much Love,
Wow, Serious7, I hope its what it sounds like it might be.
I thank you profoundly for your thoughts, your kindness and your inspiration.
I have been down this road, of being alone, before.
I was much younger then, my kids were 2 and 3 when I was on my own with them. I felt stronger at that time, then I have here lately. I hurt, was extremely poor, and I was grieving for a marriage I walked away from because of cheating, but as I said I felt stronger then. My kids are now 20 (son) and 18 (daughter) and my daughter gave birth to a little girl on October 17, 2009. they live with me. My son is moving back home because he landed ajob that will keep him traveling out of state 4 days a week. It will be a good job for him.
My daughter and grand-daughter depend on me to take care of them right now. My car was and is a big part of my job, so I have to get one that is good on gas and in good mechanical condition, if I can't get the current one fixed.
I will be ok, I think, now.
I just had to have a melt down, to clear myself out. Unfortunately it was a bad one and fortunately between those in this forum, my kids and my BF, I was able to come out of it ok. I know its just the calm before the storm and I pray do not go back there, that far again.
You are right, keeping the faith his the strongest thing I can grab on to.
Glad to read you're doing better. I can across this saying today & thought of you:
"The world is round & the place which may seem like the end may also be only the beginning"
Speaking from personal experience during dark times its hard to trust the Universe but when you can let go & trust things will fall into place even if its one piece at a time
Sending you some positive energy to & a boost to your inner strength to continue on your journey ... remember baby steps are moving forward just one step at a time
This post is deleted!
Hey Kay ~
I hope you are doing well today. I just posted something on another thread & as soon as I did you immediately came to mind so I am posting here as well to make sure you see it as I feel I am supposed too.
Oh my, I'm posting again! Lol! I've been in an emotional place today but something just happened that is really cool & I wanted to share. Along with the read requests, there are others like me that read thru all the posts as there is so much to learn from everyone's experiences... we all learn from each other. Here's what happened, I picked up a piece of paper from the ground & instead of just throwing it away, I flipped it over and read the following:
A Survival Kit For Every Day Living
1. Toothpick - to remind you to pick out the good qualities in others
2. Rubber Band - to remind you to be flexible, things may not always go the way you want, but it will work out
3. Band Aid - to remind you to heal hurt feelings, yours or someone else's
4. Eraser - to remind you that everyone makes mistakes, and it's OK
5. Chewing Gum - to remind you to stick with it and you can accomplish anything
6. Mint - to remind you that you are worth a mint to your creator
7. Balloon - to remind you to pray when faced with problems, decisions, sin or seeking guidance. Squeeze balloon, and as you release it leave your prayer request and let go an let be
8. Penny - to remind you of the value of your soul and thoughts, big and little, and to share your thoughts with others
9. Tissue - to remind you to see the needs and tears of others. This is also to remind you that at times you need to weep
Wow! I've never heard of this before but how inspirational! This is so cool! I got a plastic baggie and I am collecting all these items to place within it along with the tattered piece of paper so that I may carry it with me, to remind me
Peace, Love & Blessings to all
Kay328 here, I had a mishap with my username and password, so I had to go in and start a new one. Its a pain, because all the threads I saved, I have to find again, but I will live. lol
amused59, thanks for the positive energy. You are right in what you said. Our human nature blocks us from being open to that.
Deb, Thank you that was very inspirational and a very good guide to go by.
I've been thinking about you, I hope you're still doing well. Just stay in touch at the forum here, so many great, caring, loving people whom sincerely care about others. We haven't forgotten you, you're still in our prayers. Keep the faith, read in on some of the other threads to gain strength and understanding, but mostly stay close with God and he will always be there for you.
Peace, Blessings and Love
ILoveFish, thank you andI have been moving around a bite in the other threads. I hope in some way, I have helped others, as they have helped me. I think I have found a home here. And although I still have my moments, I am learning to just deal with things one thing at a time and stop worrying about the future, because it isn't here yet/
Love to all, please tay in touck, Kay328
Dearest Kay, I love your survival guide thats awesome!!! You are really such a wise woman. Hope things are getting better for you everyday. (hugs)
Kay, Light and love to you! All will work out fine sweetie. Trust in faith and that will pull you through.
I hope you are right soapmaker. I am so unsure. Every time I think, or feel things are looking up, and even if they seem to be, or are, I cannot get past this uneasy feeling. I can't get past this fear I feel inside, its been like this since last August 2008. I tried blocking it out for a while at first, I just can't seem to shake it. What is wrong with me?
You need to start making lists of goals you want to complete, you want to draw the positive to you. Now cut pictures from magazines and make your a goal board. And start moving forward. Just a little more each day. You can take care of you. Keep writing. Your new grandbaby is the new muse. Now how does she make you feel? And write about her new world she is discovering. I have a lot of faith in you and so do a lot of other people. Don't start stepping back. A half step back and two forward ok?
I am scared for my daughter and my grand-daughter, because my daughter will not stay away from the father of her daughter, after he continues to hurt her physically and emotionally.
I am at my wits end.
I understand your fears but she has to do something about it. You can take pictures of what he has done to her and call the police to document it but sad to say I wish there were more you could do. Report the baby being in danger or something if she is not taken care of do to your daughter being hurt. If they see that the baby is endangered they might step in. But it's hard to say.
Kay, please never give up, of course it's so reasonable to be discouraged, hurt and upset but never, ever give up because if you give up, then your daughter and granddaughter will possibly one day give up too. Be the strength that they desperately need now. Your daughter is so very young. I have 3 daughters and it has not been easy for them too, my youngest after having her baby without a man, she lived with me for 3.5 years with my grandson, she just moved out the day after Thanksgiving, finally last year found a good loving man and they just bought a house together. She was depressed for over two years after my grandson was born. I work full time, would come directly home from work each night to help her, she works full time too, at a care center out of our town, she has to get up each day at 4:00AM to go to work. When my grandson was just a baby, I would wake up 2 to 3 times a night to feed him, rock him, hold him, she's always been a great mother but she was tired, so tired and depressed. I had to hold it all together, I thought, okay I'm the tough old bird here, I've been through this already so I know I can do it. I never complained only did it out of all the love I had for her and my adorable grandson. BTW tears are streaming down my cheeks as I'm typing this, just remembering all that love. I tell all my daughter that they come from a long line of tough, strong woman, and to live in this World, we have to be. There is still so much beauty everywhere, everywhere. Just look at this forum, all the loving, caring, compassionate people whom have come to you to try to help. My true honest belief is....Woman are the strength that hold this World together, with our LOVE, our COMPASSION, our CARING SOULS. We can go for days without much sleep when we have a goal, maybe we become cranky at times but our hearts are the soul of the ages, through the generations, it is the Woman whom stays the most focused, because we take our responsiblities very serious, and that is what we pass onto our children, and grandchildren so they can continue the process.
I hope I haven't offended you or anyone with my words, but this is coming entirely from my heart. I come here and read your thread, sometimes I don't answer because I never want to offend anyone, or have them think something different than the Peace I'm trying to convey.
Pray to God, Trust in him and all will be fine.
Peace, Blessings and Love to you and your family.
ILoveFish, I wasn't offended at all. Please respond how ever and whatever way you want to, I won't be offended. I can feel what is coming from your heart through your words.
LibrasLair, Thank you for hanging in there with me. I am a work in progress, this I know. I need all the practice and continuous work I can get to be completed, once again.
Who was it in the first thread I started, when I asked for a true reading, that the guy I am involved with was wise and smart and was here for the long hall, but he was standing back to allow me to grieve and deal with all the things I needed to deal with?
Since that thread, he has stepped up, he has expressed wanting to be more in my life, in my kids lives and he has expressed wanting a future together. I am not sure what that all means right now, but it has helped me, along with all of you, to keep going, to keep trying and doing things even when I don't think I can continue to do so.
I am here for my daughter and granddaughter and my son. I am learning to accept that I cannot change her mind about this guy, but I can keep it from going on in my house and if it puts my granddaughter in danger, I will step in,with the law and take her, until my daughter can get her head out of the obsessive fantasy that she has, that he will change, and she finally accepts that he is not going to change and she will never make him change.
I am working on trying other options to saving my home. My Jeff, has said that if I can save it, he will help me and he will sell his house and put that money from that sale into my house. If I can't save it, I can just come stay with him.
My guilt and loss of my former husband weights heavy upon me, although I know I must move on. I feel I do not deserve to have someone want to love me, or I harbor panic of abandoment, because that is how I feel is what my husband did to me. Yet, I feel guilty, because, I am in love so soon after his death, sometimes I feel that I will go insane and why would anyone want someone so confused and unsure?
As I said, I am clearly a work in progress.
Kay Aries, Just coming in to check up on you. I hope you are doing better, I hope your in a better place with yourself. Please know you are not alone, so many of us go thru what you are, but it's important to try to look at the positive aspects in your life, focus on them.
Please write back to let us know how you are doing.
Peace, Love, Light and Many Blessings to you and your family. It sounds like you have a wonderful boyfriend, let him be there for you, it sounds like he really wants to be a big part of your life, you have nothing to feel guilty about, don't either!
see thread on tarot readings called :I am scared and desperate. Can you help me, by giving me a reading ?: its my current update.