Is it worth it

  • for three years I was with a man, I thought he actually cared about me, he asked me not to see anyone else, when we were together he treated me good, then there were times he did not answer his phone, would turn his phone off, did not return my calls, when he said we would be doing something together, he did not show up, call, answer his phone, well this last summer we were out on the motorcycle going to different bars to get a map signed off for a benefit, we had to go to 108 bars all over Minnesota and Wisconsin, the day of the benefit came and he called in the morning to say he had to work, I asked him if I could get a map because I might still want to go to the benefit, he said he would call me back, well at 3:30 I decided to go to the benefit even after I did not hear from him, first I stopped at a bar In the town he lives in, then I decided to drive by his house, both cars were there and I knew he did not ride the motorcycles to work, so when I got to the benefit I looked around and did not see his bikes, so I thought I was wrong to think anything, then around 5:30 he called , he said he was still at work had to be there another few hours, said he was going to stop by my place to drop off a map, well i told him I was already at the benefit, he said he guessed he could not stop over, I asked him what he was going to do when he got off of work, he said he was going home, we hung up and a half an hour later he showed up at the benefit, he said lets talk, we talked for a bit, then he said this is awkward, he brought someone else with him, he said he asked her two months before, he said he wasn't interested in her at all, he asked me to leave before I got drunk and got more upset, as I had tears running down my face I said I going to get another beer, I got so upset when I seen her rubbing his back, I started something, then I found out this woman he was with was his renters wife, the week before the benefit when I was with him at his house making him a steak dinner that I had gone to the store and bought, he said his renter was accusing him of being with his wife, why did he say that then show up at the benefit with her, he tore my heart out, he also lied about his age, he said he was born in 1954, which would of made him three months older than me, I found out he was born in 1950, how many times did he say he had to work and that was another lie, it has been 6 months now since this happened, it still hurts so bad, I thought he cared for me, I still love him, I plan on going over to talk to him to find out why he hurt me like he did, my children never liked him, thought he treated me like crap, why did he hurt me, I did everything for him, things I have never done for anyone else, I want this pain to go away, but at the same time I still love him so much, can anyone help me

  • i feel that this relationship he is having if its with the woman he came to the benefit with wont last, and its lucky you found out when you did, he probably cared not to tell you as he may of found it hard to, and his own guilt would have been playing his mind, she may have enticed him also, the storey you told was so plain to me that he wasnt your type of fellow, even if you did feel that you had some good times, i am sure that there is another person out their that is much nicer and very honest ,and wont treat you like this, i know it hurts bad, its not nice, you sound like a really honest caring person, who desrves better than that, try to see the relationship as it really was, look at what you wrote and write down all the good things about it and then the bad, some times people are just their in our lives for us to learn something from, so that we know next time how to discern that type of relationship, to assist us in our own learning, i would say your learning here now is to let go and forgive and move ahead, you will meet another person, when you let go of this, ask yourself is this better than being alone, am i secure in myself enough to be alone and find what i truly want, or do i go over their and run the risk of putting myself back in that same situation again, it could happen, and the next time it maybe worse, and you will wish that you had never done it, be wise, be still, get youself dressed up look after your health, and put yourself first for once, get some fresh air excersise and maintain a healthy diet, drink heaps of water and clear your head of this worry, it will go away this pain when you have had enough of it, breathe, come out of your head with this and take notice of all the things about you, the trees the plants the animals, your surroundings, this is how i have overcome many awful times too, know that you are not alone, vent your anger get mad, as when you get angry it brings you out of depression and then you start to heal i dont mean go and hit someone, but use the negative to bring you into awareness, say well blow you, i cant swear on here, but what ever it takes get it out and move forward, if he cared he would be with you, dont waste your time and energy on thinking anymore over this, as it just brings more of it to you , let him go, its not worth it, its an energy drain, i hope this does help you in some way, just even one line of this, dont say i cant, because you really can do this, if i can do it so can you,you will get thru this, its not the end of the world, although it seems like it, its just another learning in your life, please take care of yourself, get some help if you need to, god bless and beleive that you are the most important person in your life, its time for you,, love dottxx

  • irisheyes>>why did he hurt me, I did everything for him, things I have never done for anyone else, I want this pain to go away, but at the same time I still love him so much, can anyone help me

    Sandran712>>After all the hurt from him...does it really matter why he did it.As hurtful as it is...Take time for yourself to heal.Going out with someone else would not be fair to the new person you are with.They will look at it as a rebound.I agree with dotthrey.It won't last but, let's say he came back.what's to say he won't play you again.I had this same thing happen to me.It did not hurt so much because my intuition saw it first.But, we are not together either.I knew this guy for 20 years.And he plays the same song.

  • it still hurts no matter what, he lied he cheated, maybe when he told me not to come over to his house unless I was told to I should of thought something then, he asked me not to see anyone else, but it was ok for him to do what he wanted, then I was the bad person because I told the renter what was going on, so he blamed me for the renter moving out the very next day, but the week before he said the renter was accusing him of being with his wife and was moving out, but it was still my fault, he works for a refinery and my brother works there too, and he knows my brother, and I thought I had finally found the man who i could spend my life with, then after all of this happened a few months ago I found out he got married while I was seeing him, maybe that is why I did not see him for months, his wife is now in prison for several DWI'S, and he is now divorcing her, he never gave me his home number but I did find it out, he has now changed his numbers, he hurt me and I am sure he hurts others, he is 59 years old and lies and cheats, and it seems he does it to everyone, but no matter I loved him with all my heart and he tore it apart, I want this pain to go away

  • irisheyes>> maybe when he told me not to come over to his house unless I was told to I should of thought something then,

    Sandran712>>Yes this was a BIG RED FLAG

    you should always trust your gut....Everyone has intuition.It protects us from harm.But, some people have stronger intuition.Like myself.My son cannot talk so I have to rely on intuition on a daily basis.Other red flags are..Only one phone number(mostly business number)They don't tell you where they live.But, they know where you live.They say they work alot.And they don't have time for you.NEVER TELL A GUY YOUR PLANS IN DETAILS.Example..I am going with a friend on such and such.Guys use this to juggle their time slots to be somewhere else.

    I was with an Aries.And tho I never had a problem trusting him.I wondered what he did with himself when he wasn't with me.I never drove a car.But, I found transportation to look him up.He was never with a woman.But, hid things from me.Sometimes you are better off not knowing what they do with their time.In your case it was hurtful.In my case it was hurtful too.But, my intuition picked it up.I asked him and he told me.

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