Libra woman bit by Scorp HELP need ADVICE!!!!!

  • lolpet & stranger2, Captain's response is the ultimate truth.

    Im sorry that you too are hurting, as I have been in a situation like this before. It's not that they don't care about you, its that they are not in love with you, your just familiar to each other. You go test out different things to see if they're better and if they're not then you go back to your "stand-by"; You are the 'stand-by', and subconsciously you know that you are, but still allow it. what do you want out of life, your life? do you want someone to love you? do you deserve to be loved and adored? I would ask you want to look back on your life and regret not demanding the best for yourself, if you give the best to him? What makes another person's life any more precious than your own?

  • i am thinking that this guy was out for a good time with you, both attracted to each other him your beauty and you his, sorry that you are huting in all of this but rome wasnt built in a day, got to get to know someone before stuff like that happens, give him the flick dont play games and move on with your life its not worth the battle, sorry

  • Thanks to all for your input. Whilst I appreciate what you all say, I don't feel ready to give up on this man yet. I have considered the familiarity, comfort aspect of having someone there to love you whenever you need them many times but he never goes elsewhere - he says it it is and always has been me. Or I would have been gone long ago.Stranger 2 _ are we in parallel universe? S and I were apart for 6 months last year(!!!), but he would contact me every 6 weeks or so in between to tell me he loved me, needed me, and was sorry for how he had treated me. Whilst I would never ignore him, I always waited until he asked to see me, I would never ask to see him. I had some pride! I know he hasn't been with anyone else, but also know he still has a bit of growing up to do. He is very self centred, always expecting to get his own way and both myself and his friends have pandered to him. However, I find it is when I put my foot down or do something he doesn't like, he retreats. He is like a little boy in some ways, and very vulnerable. Only when alcohol is involved things can get nasty and I am not prepared to put up with that. He knows he has a problem and wants me to take him away from that. I however am not prepared to jump in 100% until he treats me better. Deadlock???? I know eventually something has to give, but I wait in the meantime. I just wanted to point out the hazards to anyone in the early If there is an escape route - take it!!!

  • well last night i texted him, " thinking of you..hope you had good week" and he never responded I wish I hadnt have even done that!

  • lolpet,

    yes sounds like a parallel universe.with a ton of heartache. before i went away last year we had been apart for a number of weeks then he came over day before i was leaving.. like he intuited it or something. took me to the airport even.told me he loved and adored respected me more than words can say. it was an intense goodbye, i believed felt sincere. in my head all the time while i was away. when i came back he told me he was single. i had been away for a long time there was no contact. my doubts came back. look i could ramble on so much cos so much has happened.. i do love the man. but i cant handle his nastiness. he can be so hurtful its unbelievable.just from words.and a i couldnt care less about you attitude.yes he is also like a little boy at times too has tantrums rants and raves runs into his room /car locks the door lots of dramatic behaviour.and yes same if i tell him something i dont like he cant handle it and usually sabotages the relationship altogether in some do you know he hasnt been with anybody else?i dont understand him saying to you that he needed you but didnt want to see you. mine also has diabetes so yes similar to you in that i also feel like he is wanting me to take him away from the pain of it to help him with it, but like you i also dont want to do that until he treats me better too. yes it does feel like a deadlock and a catch22. it is like dealing with addiction..i am coming to realize that it is not my problem. he has put so much of it onto me it has worn me down. and i have learnt that i let him do it. my boundaries were not strong enough.alot of powerstruggle and manipulation from both of us. and lack of assertion. he needs to get help( i know he wont) how old are you lolpet? do u children? how old is he? i know so much how you feel with all this.

  • rock71, thankyou for your input. yes i do want to be loved and adored , but i guess my past experience of it has equated with suffocation and a feeling of emptiness. i am working with my counsellor over some of this stuff. i know where it all comes from, it is very difficult to change patterns of thinking feeling and behaviour when they have been ingrained for so long. but that is also a belief i want to shatter too.. the pattern stuff. the victim thing. the whole i cant do a relationship thing.i have been very hurt in my life, and i am trying to heal from that. i struggle to understand men i think and yes tend to put more emphasis on them than me and discount myself and lose myself.not good. maybe one day i will get it right. i ]ve had so much of my life time on my own dealing with it on my own that i find it hard to trust and am afraid of losing my freedom and safe space.

  • divious libra,

    i think you have to ask yourself what you truly want with this scorp. scorps don't like to be rushed or pushed into anything. you might have to back off and let him come to you. if that doesnt suit you then you truly are better off forgetting about him i think. s.ex is important to a scorp, but they dont like to feel used in any way and they take along time to that if their heart gets involved. i think at this point you should be concentrating on getting to know each other and taking it slow.. that is if you want the possibilty of a relationship with him. if you dont, well, he is probably not going to be at your beck and call, he will probably want to call the shots. as you know from my above posts i have been involved with a scorp for a long time and it has been a rollrcoaster of emotions, a very passionate relationship but very inconsistent which has been great when its great but absolute torture when it hasnt. mine has never been great with calling either, would usually text. maybe it was a money thing, but i think he often didnt see the point in having phone chats he would rather see me in person. but when i asked him to call me he would.they can be very lazy and selfish. dont go into self doubt. be strong be confident. keep yourself intact. he would be thinking about you you dont need to worry about that. concentrate on how you feel about him, from the times you spend with him, and let it take a more natural course.

  • Well I have a update LOL...He responded back but I left it at that and did not send him one in response....Stranger2 thanks for the encouraging words...It is HELL when you dont know if they are in fact thinking of you and wondering why you have not heard from him.......My gut tells me I made a emotional impact on him, it was almost like a sixth sense if you will...Thats why it blows my mind as to why he just went poof....anyhow his text more or less told me he was trying to say he has been in the field for training,,,,him and I are active military and are on a base....but I thought he told me that he had to do the training another time.....i dont know, and what makes me really think is if he is wondering why I have not responded to him yet

  • divious libra, i think if he responded with a question it would be polite to answer (depending on the question), but seeing he took his time you could take your time too, although it would be playing know i just think be yourself! like i said before scorpios dont like to rush into things.. but thats him.. you can do whatever suits you! don't change who you are to suit him. at the moment i would say he is observing and seeing what you do and how he feels.yeh you are right it is a s.hit when you dont hear from them. it has personally driven me crazy many times. think ive questioned my own sanity often. but thats the hook hey. if it makes you want him more, then its working. i dont want to say too much at this point this is your journey.. and everyone has different experiences ultimately..

  • Hi divi,

    I was reading your thread and in my nicest voice possible, you are so worried about what impact you made on him (the first night) That you are simply caught up in the emotions of one night. I know your not insecure because your a very confident and high s,e,x, appeal) but to hope that someone is thinking of you, someone that YOU don't even know very well for yourself is a bit off. With ANY man, scorp, gem, cancer, and so on, if they want you they show it!!! Woman are always trying to disect what the issue could be if they don't call or text. The issue usally is that there just not that into you. I dated a scorp guy for 3 loooooonnnngggg years, and we also hooked up within a few nights of meeting, and instantly that guy was a bug in my behind..everyday calling, texting, and going out. They want a strong woman and what i quickly learned, in there woman they want a mother. Hince the fact we are no longer together thanks to me. Your guy has had good maybe even great s,e,x, before so that alone could'nt faze him, but to have him mentally, is too have him for life. If you really want to be with him, get to know him and trash all the dumb games. To me personally he's not worth your time. I hope this helps, and if it comes off kinda mean, i dont mean for it too im just really blunt and honest.

  • Diviouslibra,

    I agree with shinyluv and stranger2 . Scorps like the chase, they don't like to be chased. But they also don't like being ignored if they are into you. The best way to get him to get in touch with you, if he likes you and you have made an impact is NOT to get in touch with him. Make him wonder why. Game playing? Maybe, but at least then you will know if he really likes you. As I mentioned earlier I have been through all this for 6 years and seen it, been it,done it!!! Don't tie yourself in knots about the texts - sometimes I had to wait weeks for a reply. But it always came. Find something to take your mind of him in the meantime. Scorps are guilty, as are most men, of getting tied up in whatever they are doing at the time to the exclusion of everything else.They can't multi task like us

    Stranger 2, he came back last night. Drove to my house in the middle of the night "to get the woman he loves!!" And so it starts again. Yes I do have children, gorgeous girls 18 and 7 to my husband, who neglected me for many years before I met S. As an Aquarian he was supposed to be a good match. He is good man, but cold, and unemotional - I got sooo tired of being ignored for many years. We haven't been a couple since before I met S. Maybe thats why I was attracted to his polar opposite. So passionate about life (and often me too!) He has told me he can't consider anyone else as I am deep inside his head. Once, a few years ago when we were apart, he arranged a date with someone, but phoned me and told me he couldn't go through with it so was going to cancel because he didn't want her, he wanted me.I suppose I am looking for emotional stability and security from S before I can commit 100% - I have responsibilities that I cant/won't leave behind. As you will see from my age, I am no smitten teenager, I am in my forties, and so is S. Old enough to know better, eh?

    I believe that we will find a way eventually but it will take a lot of work on both sides. Hopefully before I reach pension age. I have invested a lot of time, and love in this man and I want to reap the

    Divi, you need a stout heart to get involved with an Scorpio, and have to be prepared for the rollercoaster that comes with him, sometimes its the pits, but most of the time its awesome. Good luck, whatever you decide to do. Love and Light.xxxx

  • Hi divi, i knew he would respond. I wanted you to send the text to let him know that you were still interested. If too much time had lapsed and you would have text him say this week, he probably would have thought that you were not very concerned with him and just wanted s*ex. You are back on track don't worry. He will contact you believe me, he is just unsure how to take you right now. continue to be yourself and confident, they love women who take care of themselves and most importantly are secure with themselves and life (not caring with other people think).

  • OMG rock today out of NOWHERE he text me....Hey how are you?.....I about passed out in the floor!!!!! I was not expecting it..I just was going on like I never met him ya know and then BAM ....Hey here I am lol...I havent responded to him yet if I do I am taking my sweet time.....Or might wait till he texts me again...what ya think???

  • well I ignored the first and a few hours later came another "hey how are you?" So i waited a hour and texted " Im great! How are you? and got nothing...i am so confused now someone shed some light on what the hell he is doing and WHY and what do I do

  • hello all,

    I have also been bitin as you say by a scorp.We were in a relationship for over a year and then all of a sudden his ex wife wanted him back to try again and also an old flame from high school came back into his life and started making advances.He moved out about 3 months ago and I can't get him out of my system. I love him very much . He said that he loved me but needed to do alot of thinking and was really confused on what he wanted. Well, I found out that he started seeing the woman from his past not the ex wife and that now they are living together. I still love him and want him back, Just really confused. He said that is was nothing I done wrong when he left and that he was and could have been happy with me,if this is so then what went wrong. I still talk to him and he says that it ticks the lady off that he is with cause we still communicate and still i see him every other week or so for about 20 or 30 min. Really confused cause he tells me that he is in love with her but yet has told me that he loves me.I told him that I know that I am still in his heart and he says it doesn't matter what is there.Really want him back and don't know what to do. Was very faithful and loyal to him and i know with a scorp that is very important. Any advice on how to get him back or what i should do . Miss him terribly and am hurting being away from him.. Thanks to anyone who wants to comment

  • Dear Libralady2008, I have a Scorp and I am a Virgo. If you want your Scorp back you are going to have to manipulate him with mind games. If you let it, your relationship with him could stay like this forever. You have to let him know how you feel and how serious you are and then you have to very (and I do mean very) confidently walk away. Then wait for him to come to you. You will need to let him see just how happy and confident you are without him and that you have a great life but at the same time he also needs to know if he does the righty and dumps his homewrecker he can have you back. A scorp will treat you like a door mat and keep you hanging on forever but only if you let them. By the way what sign is the other woman?

  • Guys this is my post here lol what about MY problem>> ?? LOL

  • Spiritualchild,

    I have told him that I love him deeply and that he is the love of my life and that i am very hurt by all of this.When I told him all of this he made the statement " What am I to do" I have also told him that I for give him and that I know that the fault doesn't just lay at her door and it is at his also.,It is soooo hard to walk away cause I want him back so badly.I miss him terribly, can't sleep at night when I get home from work and it is in the weee hrs of the morning before I can go to sleep. Just really lonely. I have never had to play mind games so not real sure on how to do so. some advice would be nice.You say to to walk away and show him that I am fine without him,but he also needs to know that if he does the right thing and dumps the home wrecker he can come back.Could use some more info on how a scorp works. I learned a little while i was with him. Know that they need their space and down time. Just example, I talked to him today and he tried to snap at me and I told him I wasn't trying to fight with him and wasn't going to and I wasnt going to apologize for anything that I said cause I had no reason to. He seemed to change his tune abit after that. Was That a direct hit that I done to turn the tables? Really do want him back but should I stop talking to him all together or what ? How should I handle this? I know you said walk away and show him that I am happy and confident but that is sooo hard. I just feel lost with out him . by the way the other woman is a Gemini. HELP!!!!!

  • Sorry Divious libra, I think you are doing great. Scorps are hard work and it never ends believe me. However don't leave it too long, if you don't get another text you will need to ring or text him again and maybe invite him to do something. You don't want to be too cool. Unless he is confident of your interest he will lose interest and you will lose him. You don't want to seem desperate or needy either this will turn him off real fast. Just act interested but casual.

    Good luck xx

  • Sorry Divious Libra,

    Just was reading all this and was wanting some advice as well. Really love this one. Have already been married 2 times and Have never felt like this with anyone that I have ever been with. My heart aches for him.

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