• I don't want to believe this but sometimes my intuition is pretty strong especially when I look over my history. I'm 49 and I'm from a family of 12 includes me. 5 sisters 6 brothers. I'm number 10. My sister accidentally shot her self in the face, my brother committed suicide, I've been abused mentally, sexually physically, and some of my other family members also. from a family of alcoholics,drugs,mother beaten, family history of sicknesses not, just your normal heart,cancers,blood, just the weirdies diseases or health problems that are very rare, besides that financial struggles, loss of incomes,,homes,jobs, oh God i could go on. it makes me sick to think that every family member struggles also with depression and mental problems.Every member is financially ruined they have a car ,food that kind of life, but every week or month their is some health issue with someone or a loss of jobs marriage..even the couple that are married after many years they don't have happy marriages I've been divorced, then found a good man and he killed himself leaving me with our 10 year old girl.




  • with all the death I am very sorry. Please do not take this the wrong way. Have you ever thought there may be a demon around your family. I dont think it is a curse. Evil makes people depressed and want to die alot. I feel that there is evil forces in you family. They can follow you where ever you go. The more neg. engery the better also fighting will make them very happy. One question how do you sleep well or not so good?

  • My sleep is terrible, i live with chronic fatigue,fibromialga, chronic pain....... But when I think of it even as a child i had severe nightmeress. and i do to this day they are so vivid it scares me terribly.I have taken a candle throughout my house, and cleansed it. my 10 year old dreams constantly in another language I swear on my life she does, i also thing she astro travels I've asked at night when she sleeps for the angels to protect us and that if he does travel in won't jolt her body or mine for that mater.I have candles every where and angels.

    I ask the divine faithfully to surround us with the purity of the cleaning light daily and before we sleep.

  • one thing I forgot to add my dad died then exactually 3 months later my huband took his life. that was in aug of 2006 and november of 2006

  • ShaTZ, I TOO HAVE HAD ALOT OF TRIALS, i grew up and lost my mother at birth and father at fifteen both aunt uncle and grandparents dead. i have been trotting alone since 15 and have encountered male attackers and am still couragously fughting as u too. i do not believe a demon is affecting you because a demon does feed on fear in order to manipulate you and posses. Energy. is the key and keeping fear away and believing, send out positive energy and constantly meditate for divine order. I believe those were lessons and you are one strong individual to still be standing! Bless love peace prosper!

  • Shatz do a smuge with cloves. Clean all doors, windowsills with lemon oil. I worry for you since you tell me you dont sleep well. I have had a gift so to speak all my life so I do know a little bit of what I am saying. I am have been tormented by spirits. I am worried because I know it is an Evil demon. I just do from what you are telling me. I just dont know if it is connected with your family or just something that is just there. Any Demonologists in you area?

  • How do you make ssmuge with cloves.


  • I also should add I have found a good man, I'm waiting on HP to do a reading on us.....We connect very well. But theres the But.:)

  • sorry Sage not cloves I wonder why I wrote that

  • Hello shatz,

    Just a thought and a suggestion. How about you give a donation to someone or some place close to your heart. It does not matter how much is the value of it (or even an act of unexpected kindness or helpfulness). Like an offering of some kind to the one(s) in need. cleansing of curses or "just life" etc..

  • Hi Shatz, I read your post and wanted to tell you that I have also strugled with this all my life. Friends have always told me how strong I am to keep the faith after everything I've been through. I still strongly believe I have faith but there's times I question myself because you get to a point where enough is enough. I woudn't ever harm myself in anyway but sometimes I just want to give up. I know I can't but I'm tired of fighting for the better life when there are people that seem to have always lived a normal life without much trial. I know everyone goes through trial but not everyone has lived the life you and I have been dealt with. I'm not jealous of them, I am extremely happy for them and wouldn't wish our life on anyone, ever. I have tried everything to break my family's cloud in my own home and it seemed to have made it worse. Immediately after blessing my home, each room,each bed, each pillow, my husband was shot and killed at our home. (It has been a nightmare, the county government here could care less but that's another story.) I was and still am in complete shock. I blessed his home, his room, his bed, his pillow and then he gets killed. ??? The man I was to grow old with gone... I'm so sorry you know this pain and I wish I could take it from you. I wish I could tell you something good but right now I can't. I moved almost two years ago and felt great when I found out we had three preachers living around us (one on each side and one in front). Well, one of them put a fence up and two of them are moving!!! Both of them are relocating for their new jobs. What is that about? It is so extreme but I can't help but laugh even though it really does upset me. I have for years now rebuked the devil out of my life and not paid him any attention. I've always heard that he tries harder. Why does he only mess with certain families and how do we stop it for future generations? This is what I want to know? I have gone to church, tithed, had faith, helped others, retrained my mind to think on positve things, etc. but I'm right back in another bad situation. I want to try the lemon oil or pure lemons that they suggest to clean the house with but I'm terrified that something else bad will happen. I know we're supposed to think positive and not dwell on the negative but it's hard when you've had death all your life. I always change my thinking but it comes right back. How do we stop it?

  • ...I know we're supposed to think positive and not dwell on the negative but it's hard when you've had death, heartache, major life threatening trials and pain all your life. Not just once or twice in a lifetime, but continuosly, one after another. Trials so often that you feel it every week of your life.

  • hello confusedscorpion, i have a wonderfull web page for you and Shaz.. google beth lynch inner light Geneva new york. She is a world known spiritual healer, she can heal and see spirits, energies, and manifestations. I was healewd there and my life is turned around, i to have experienced a long stretch of darkness from age 7 to 23. I am now a healer and am blessed to be free from dark.

    Bless you and i truly hope you check out her site.

  • Dear turbosx, thank you so much. I'm going to check the site out now. I also ordered healing crystals yesterday. You are a blessing! Thank you.

  • You know my family has often joked about the possibility of being "cursed". I always felt it was more of an oppression. Kind of that in some way we were meant for greatness and yet prevented from achieving it or caused to feel unworthy. I wonder if a healing is in order?

  • rc dreamer you're exactly right. I have felt the same way, like we were meant for greatness, I can feel it in my bones but in the past it was like something always stopped it short. I'm so ready for the breakthrough to the other side were I can look back on my past as a memory and stepping stone for others that are suffering. I can actually feel myself on the line and it feels good, I'm just waiting for that last step, whatever it may be that will let me know I have done good. Not the small good things like helping a lost child but something big... Once I make it to that point, I will be unstoppable, I have so many good things planned for others' lives. I have already started but I have always been interrupted. It is so frustrating. Does that make sense to you ??????

  • HI Shatz - my heart goes out to you - especially about your husband taking his own life. I have had many of the same issues but yours are 10 fold compounded. Besides doing the sage smudge and rubbing your doors with lemon oil, I was also told to take fresh parsley in spring water and sprinkle the water inthe corners of every room in my house to invoke positve energy. I am about to do this again as it has been almost a year.

    I also burn sage and cedar incense at least once a week. I do not think I have demons per say - just some sort of negative energy.

    The other things you can do is to burn a protection candle. or a banishing candle, using rotection oil or banishing oil, but you should look up someone who can give you more exact instructions as to how to do this.

    LASTLY - this is a great time of year to do something good - bring some close or food to a homeless shelter or a battered woman's shelter. Visit with some people in a nursing home.

    Help out in a church soup kitchen. Bring some toys to a children's hospital and visit with the sick children. What you give out will eventually come back to you.

  • Hi Shatz,

    Reading what you have been through makes me think that you are a very strong person and in learning how to deal with such abuse and death along with problems of family and everyday life, that you would make a wonderful healer and counsler. I personally do not believe in curses as I do not deal in the occult. Yes, you were born into quite a situation and have survived it , yet there are so many others as on this site that have also lived through alot and now seek the light of guidence from lightworkers.

    I read where you choose to come here and your parentsalso,so that you can learn lessons, when you die perhaps you will be on a much higher spiritual level as a reward for what you went through on this earth plane. Your daughter speaking in another langage when sleeping may be a carry over from her past life. Sea salt in doorways and around her bed and yours should help with more peaceful sleep.

    Blessings to you and yours dear,



    THAT IN 10 MONTHS HOW ONES, LIFE "caps off hehe"...can change, simply by searching within... Its me shatz, gosh i had forgotten about this about a flash back of ones life not long ago!

    I know longer believe my family is/was was for me in that time of my journey that i was searching for answers, when they were right inside of me...Such a place i was in, i cry for my pain, that i was in...Now i have seen how much of a journey i have been on..changing my user name and changing my self to include loving me first and foremost..I can really honestly say i know longer know that little girl who hid inside of me...I was so sad and felt so that time in my life...

    This thread that I started has made me look once again at my life to see that anything is possible when I believe and love myself and to get rid of the little girl's pain who had suffered so much as a child and an adult...I just want to hug her and tell her how proud i am of her, for its been a long journey and may i continue, to grow into a woman who makes the right choices in my life, and to continue to love and nurture myself.

    For that matter, i have hug myself..just now..It feels good you know, that i am the only one who can make myself happy and to forgive myself and others for past behaviors,but to always remember to not allow someone or myself to hurt or control me as an adult...

    May i continue to gain wisdom

    May i continue to love life today, because this is what i have..right now...

    May i continue to learn from my mistakes

    May i continue to learn to love people as they are and not as i want them to be

    May i continue to look forward to my journey in this life

    May i continue to be grateful for all that i have and not what i don't have

    May i continue to seek answers, no matter if i don't like the answers:)

    May i continue to have peace in my heart and peace in my mind

    May i continue to reach out if i am scared

    May i continue to reach out to those that need a helping hand, a shoulder, a smile, a laugh, and a hug...whether we are separated by Countries, whether we are separated by cyber world, whether or not I've seen your face,

    May i continue to apologize if i am wrong

    May I continue to try and not hurt those i love with words

    May i continue not to hurt people that are hurting themselves,

    May I continue not to let my EGO interfere !!!Though it does happen

    For this is my journey I am on today, and i will fall to my knees, once in awhile, but I always know that I can get up again for this is a choice I have to make for myself

    May I continue to see that sometimes in life, we will be faced with sadness, losses,shattered dreams,love..etc. But to continue to realize i am never alone on my journey and I will forge ahead and continue to grow with more love,peace and strength inside of me.

    I have so much to be grateful for today,my man who loves me for me (who i met again after 20 years, though we were never together as girlfriend and boy friend just school friends:),

    when we met a month and a half after my post. for me to love me, so i could love someone else. For that itself is a miralcle...

    I am grateful for this post to be brought up again, to remember

    I am thankful

    Namaste to all of you

    aka shatz

    AKA shee

    aka MY Journey

    Sheila no aka here hehehe....

    I send to you love,light,peace,blessings,hope,the answers you seek,the answers for you receive and of course laughter to surround your life every moment of the day...

  • Thank you ,Shuabby

    You and i have crossed paths before when you answered a post for me under my journey which is my user name now, You have been a blessing to many of us on tarot, and i hope you know that your spirit has touched mine in so many ways..I continue to read your post when others reach out to you...

    Namaste Shuabby to you and yours


    sending you love,light,and energy for you to continue with your gifts you have received

    PS my daughter is sleeping better, and so am i thank you again...


    thank you, turtledust,we have crossed paths also, again i am sorry for one of my remarks that i had posted, this is when i talk about my EGO getting in my way 🙂

    Namaste turtledust

    sending you,peace,light,love,hope and laughter


    aka shatz

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