What have I done?!?

  • In the last two years I met a wonderful man who I love dearly, I have never gotten along so well with someone. I had transfered to a new state several years ago and spent a lonely couple of years before I met him, I transfered for work. The job was not all it was cracked up to me so I started looking and landed a wonderful opportunity with a significant wage increase and title but is requiring relocation. I struggled with accepting the job because of the relationship, but felt that if we were supposed to be together that we could make it over the distance. I gave my notice yesterday and was shown the door and now I sit here a little freaked out not because of the job but because of the man. I very much want to build a life with him and want him to come with me, I have asked him to but he is reluctant to agree as he has family obligations here. I am afraid that by moving I will lose what could have been. Can anyone give me some insight as to the outcome for us? I feel his distancing is because of his worry about our outcome too. My DOB 11/19/1964, his DOB 7/30/1964. Thanks so much!

  • Just the way men are he will not let you go if he feels the same way. You need also to worry about you and your life. Do not be afraid if you are suppose to be with the Leo man you will be. I am concerned about the family issue? Is he married or have kids? If the children are young he will not leave them. Leo's are mans men, very dominate. His off spring mean the world to him. I have a strange feeling that maybe there is someone else is this possable?

  • As in another woman? I dont think so, but I have been wrong about that in my past....maybe he is interested in someone else and is already making a back up plan?

    But he does have a 13 year old son who has high operative autism...

  • It may just be the son he does not want to leave. Leos are usually really good dads. Have you asked why he hesitates to go with you did he say his son?

  • Yes he feels his son needs him and as he has shared custody I understand and I respect him for it. I originally asked him to move with me and bring his son, but I don't think he ever approached that subject with his ex wife and I understand that too. I admire this fatherly quality in him alot, but I don't think he understand my level of commitment to him or his son....and any understanding that his faith in our relationship must have taken a hit when I discussed this move with him... He has reassured me that he is a faithful person and that he is not the type to cheat...which I truly believe... I guess I am having fears because distant relationships are so hard to manage...they can be done but they take alot of commitment and trust on both sides. Do we have what it takes?

  • He thinks you are asking him to choose between you and his son. He feels you are being unreasonable. Are you?

  • I got the same as The Captain. As a half-Leo mom with a high functioning autistic son, I can easily put myself in your b/f's shoes. I am loyal to my son and very protective of him...he comes first no matter what. I will not date a man who tries to make me choose between my son and him, because I see my son and I as a package deal.

    How far is it that you are moving? Is it to another state? If it's another state, then it could simply be a legal issue. His ex may not agree with their son moving with the two of you. And if he does move with you, then it could be cutting into the time he spends with his son. And an autistic child needs all of the help, love and support that they can possibly get in order for them to even have a slim chance at ever being able to function as a normal-as-possible independent-as-possible adult. Also, changes in lifestyle and routine can be very difficult for autistic children...any kind of major change in their lifestyle or routine can manifest itself as a major setback in all the forward progress that's been made for them up to this point.

    If your Leo is anything like me (or any other Leo) he will be very loyal to you and try to make it work in spite of the distance. I would have a talk with him and try to discuss how he feels. Tell him that you want to work out a doable solution, and that you need his help and his input. Also, I would like to commend your b/f for his devotion to his son. I have worked with my son's school, and have seen classmates that didn't have that kind of devotion available to them through their own parents. I wish you the best, and sincerely hope that you both can find a solution that works best for everyone! 🙂

  • Thank you everyone for you insight.

    I would like to add that I am not pressuring him. I also am a single parent and I would loath anyone who asked me to choose. That is not what I am asking him to do, there has been no ultimatum put out there. that would be immature and unheard of in my book! I made this decision based on the current situation, the fact that we have our separate lives and although he means the world to me he is still just my boyfriend. We have talked marraige, we have talked combining our families and looked at all the angles. We are not in the position of forward motion but a comfortable place where we still have our separate homes.

    But today as everything goes into motion for my relocation I am fighting the feeling that I'm already gone. I am just trying to understand the knawing feeling that he has already set me free.

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