True Love vs Desire



  • I received some information from spirit today that I thought you all might be interested in.

    We all tend to bandy the word 'love' about a lot, but most of the time we are misusing the word. There is a big difference between real love and lust/desire. I'm not talking about sex, that basic biological survival urge that makes us want to prolong the species. I'm talking about the feeling we get when we see a beautiful oil painting, a plasma TV, an animal, or an attractive person. We are not simply content to admire and appreciate it - love it - instead we are gripped by the desire to own or possess it. we want it. "Mine, mine, mine" is the message and it comes straight from our egos. Whereas true love does not seek to own or have and comes from the heart.

    True love is nothing to do with possession - it is about connection and it is what twin flames have and feel. It is a deep soul connection that persists even if the pair are not together. True love is content to love even at a distance - it doesn't even require a reciprocal love in return. It asks for nothing and desires nothing but to give of itself.

    Desire is about making yourself (your ego) feel good. Your desire thinks that if it has/owns the desired object, it can feel better, happier inside. It seeks to help itself. Desire is selfish - true love is not. Desire hangs on tightly to the thing it wants, it will fight tooth and nail to keep it; love doesn't cling or see the need to fight over something or someone. Desire lies, schemes, and manipulates to obtain the object of desire; it evokes jealousy and fear and greed and sorrow. Love knows that something or someone will arrive effortlessly if it is meant to. Desire is what causes heartbreak and pain when we lose or cannot have the object of our desire. If the shoe was on the other foot, would you really want to be owned or possessed like a TV, or would you simply prefer to be loved?

    We can never really own or possess a living thing. We even labour under the illusion that we own the earth because we pay out some money for a piece of land. People and animals can choose to stay with us and we can be grateful for that. Nobody 'belongs' to anyone else. Real love wants the best for others and accepts that there may be a time when the beloved one might need new or diifferent experiences in order to grow, and so it accepts that a parting of bodies, but not souls, must happen. It also understands that there is no real parting when souls are connected so it feels no pain.

    Love is the ultimate freedom. Desires seeks to imprison and to hold something to itself. Love is a gift that we can and should give freely to others. Next time you want something or someone, ask yourself this - is it love or desire that you are feeling? If it's desire, it will ultimately backfire on you - the more you need and covet and cling to something, the more likely it is that it will be taken away. Or that it will never come to you at all.

    Better to give out unconditional love. Real love doesn't hurt.



  • Thanks Captain. This is so true. If only everyone could realize that the person you marry is not just some sort of trophy or a piece of property you can control? I think a lot of it has to do with - they feel like they invested x amount of time, energy or money and now that object - the land, the pet, the person you marry, "owes" it to you to provide something inreturn. You should give to something you love, but not so much that you feel cheated when if you don't get back what you put in. Some people gve too much and some people will just keep on taking without ever giving back. Neither way is good. thanks!



  • You are so right. šŸ™‚



  • "Better to give out unconditional love. Real love doesn't hurt".....

    what a beautiful earth this would be if we all headed this!!

    Wonderful statement!!, ...... thank you spirit for giving us this timely and very much needed message.

    much love and joy,

    Denise

    ā™„



  • Wow Captain I find this little piece so captivating and spiritually enriching.May the world be blessed with more scholars like yourself.



  • It is better to love than to desire and better to hold than to hold on. Also, whatever you do will come back to you, so don't squeeze too hard unless you want to get squozen. I also know that if you do something in revenge, it will eventually come back to you. In high school I had a not -very-nice boyfriend who broke up with me to go out with a girl from a family with more money. I was mad. So a friend and I toilet papered the trees in the driveway to his house. There were a lot of trees (Imagine 12 Oaks in Gone with the wind.) That night it rained and his father made him clean all the toilet paper out of the tree. Somehow, I knew that one would come back on me. Eventually. Sure enough, end of last summer. Kids TP'd the huge pine tree in my yard, several other trees (Probably friends of my teenage daugter did it) The it got really damp and foggy and it was stuck in the trees. When I saw that, all I could do was laugh. I had it coming. I knew it would come back on me. 6 months later, I am still picking pieces of moldy TP out of bushes and trees. Be nice or do nothing.



  • I respect you, The Captain. Thanks for posting this. There is a great deal of difference between true love and desire. To be willing to let go of the one you mostly love, is in fact true love. Even if it means that we must let go of the husband that we were supposed to be with in the first place. To feel the love is the purpose of love. It is there to remind us of something. It is there to heal us. That is the purpose. It has nothing to do with desires.



  • ABSOLUTELY true...



  • wow! you are right on target! its so true selflessness in true love.



  • If your love is true, then time and distance shouldn't matter. If you find yourself desperately needing someone to be with you, it may be desire not love that is gripping you.



  • I love this captain! I can't do much but stay in the house and read so these posts are great, post another!



  • Any particular subject?



  • "Desire is selfish - true love is not. Desire hangs on tightly to the thing it wants, it will fight tooth and nail to keep it; love doesn't cling or see the need to fight over something or someone. Desire lies, schemes, and manipulates to obtain the object of desire; it evokes jealousy and fear and greed and sorrow. Love knows that something or someone will arrive effortlessly if it is meant to. Desire is what causes heartbreak and pain when we lose or cannot have the object of our desire. If the shoe was on the other foot, would you really want to be owned or possessed like a TV, or would you simply prefer to be loved?"

    Hi Captain, hope you are well. This really hit home to me, as I am still holding a very strong flame for my ex-fiance, even though we have not even spoken in 4 months. This part here that I have quoted you is some of the things that I have actually experienced with him during our relationship and in the bitter end. More on my part than his. He did his fair share but it was mainly in deference. There came a point in time where I actually let go and wanted him to be happy. During the end I thought I could push out all thoughts and love for him like I did my first ex, but it is not to be. He is still a very big part of my heart. I do long for him but I can't get over the feeling that we were meant to be, so I simply let go. I must say when things were good, we felt things for each other that either of us have never felt before. But when things were bad, our scars took over. We simply weren't ready for that kind of connection. He is currently with someone else. I am not ready as I am undergoing a transformation.

    I guess my question is....is it possible for one to feel this Desire with someone then realize that it was more than that? I have a tenancy to hang on to the past, BUT I feel this is more than that. I see signs everywhere. I dream about him at least 5 times a week. These dreams are as clear as day, the last one we were together and happy. In my dream I new I was dreaming and I was reminded of the love he IS (was no longer with in my dream) with, but something in my dream told me to never mention her as it is pointless. I don't know if he is my twin flame as my transformation is very much in the learning stages....but more often that not. I just KNOW he is.



  • Sorry about the mistakes, yeesh. To make it more clear, my question is, Is it possible to feel the selfish desire to hang onto someone when you feel you are losing them, then after they are gone realize that it is true love? I felt it was during our entire relationship, even during the bad. But my insecurities weren't willing to accept love at the time, as I could not love myself. Is this possible?



  • Love is patient - desire is not because it is selfish and wants to satisfy its own cravings. Love wants the other person to be happy no matter who he/she is with - desire wants the other person to be happy only with them. Be honest with yourself - which is you?

    Twin flames are very rare - it is more likely a soulmate or teaching/karmic relationship.



  • Thank you so much for your response. Much appreciated.

    Yes, I've read that they are very rare and rarely on the earth at the same time. In all honesty, in the beginning of our break-up and the time of indecision, Yes, I honestly thought that I only wanted him to be happy with me. I didn't think I could handle knowing/seeing him with someone else. I thought once that happened, I would lose all feeling for him, much like my previous ex.

    Long story short, it was a bad relationship, on and off for 13 years, I had..throughout the entire relationship thought we were "meant to be" so I hung on. Well, 5 short months after we broke off for good, he impregnated a much younger girl. This relationship was horrible all around but I thought the trauma in his life and the fact that we were together since we were young..that we would eventually grow up. Not to be, that entire relationship was atrocious. I thought that I couldn't do better, deserved better.

    I realized that when I met my ex-fiance over two years later.

    I can see it being a teaching relationship as he is everything I am not and visa vera. I feel as it is very incomplete, I'm not sure why that is....as next month will be a year since we've been broken up.

    I have to explain that last November he was here visiting my father and him and I had a brief encounter. It was so easy, we felt as if we are still connected..and I think he felt it too and it scared him. I have not heard from him since and he is very careful not to be on the internet much. You see, at this time I knew that he was with a new girl and I still felt this connection with him. Something my scars in the past never allowed me to do. THIS is when I realized that I do wish him to be happy, even if it is without me. BUT something tells me that he will not, that he will always feel as if something is missing. As will I. This does not mean that we will not find other meaningful relationships, I think this means that we will always long to be together but we know it's just not the right time. But I do think it will happen in this lifetime.

    What are your thoughts?

    I've even told him in a e-mail that I was glad he was finally happy. Something I don't think I could do if I hadn't loved someone so much.....

    Not sure if he believed me or not considering how nasty we got at one point in our past.....but after our actual confrontation, I knew that he knows I was.



  • being honest. (I meant to write on that last sentence)



  • "I realized that I do want/deserve better then my childhood ex when I met my ex-fiance two years later" Geez, I really need to proof-read better..lol



  • 1Blondie178, I don't really feel you are being honest with yourself or this man. You do want him back and all your dreams and daydreams are about that, even if you tell him you just want him to be happy. But I hear you adding 'but only with me" onto it and he will be picking up that thought too deep down. It's an easy thing to say but hard to really do.

    If you really love him, you have to let him go, which you haven't done. Letting go means to stop thinking about him and longing for him and hoping you will meet again. It is simply trusting that if it's meant to be, you will be together. But it means setting him free and moving on yourself in both physical action and emotionally and mentally.



  • This is so true . Thank you


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