Aries and confused
I've been married to a Sagittarian - who I am not in love with - for 12 years. He is, however, my best friend. I had an affair with an Aquarian who I think I was in love with, although he didn't feel the same. That finished 3 years ago. I am now just confused and feeling a little empty. I would love some insight/advice please.
its time maybe to go it alone for a while and search yourself for some answers, try new interests, only you can make your life happy, people are in our lifes for us to learn, ask yourself what did i learn from these relationships, what have i learned about myself, what do i like and what dont i like, what do i really want from life, we have to learn to like and love ourselves before we can love another, try some meditation, join a meditation group and begin to search inside yourself for some answers, go and have a healing to shift the blocks that are in your way that stop you from seeing, if you are not happy with yourself you cannot enjoy the company of others, or create long and lasting relationship, with one you love, find out what makes you tick and be true to yourself, your empty because their is a big hole their and your thinking what do i do now, you cant rely on others for happiness, its got to come from yourself, once you have acheived that then you begin to search for the one person or persons to associate with that fulfill your hopes and dreams, lifes the journey and it doesnt matter how long it takes, its enjoying the simple things along the way that make it easier, you will come thru this, when you decide to do whats right and best for you, dont freak out its okay to feel this way, all will sort out for you , you just have to make the first step, do what you like to do, and start by enjoying that, goodluck dott we all hit walls at certain times in our lives, but its just showing us that we are going in the wrong direction,
Thank you for that lovely reply. It has been a long time since I sat down and thought about who I am and what would make me happy. I have kids, a job, debts, a house to run - and it all seems to come first! I know everyone has the same problem of responsibilites that need to be addressed, but my time management seems to be worse than others. I'll definitely think about what you've said and come up with some answers,
dont spend to much time on the things that dont need that extra imput, right yourself a list and put the most important things on first, what can be put of till tomorrow will wait , yes you have the resposibilities of your children but even mums desrve time out for themselves, dont be too hard on yourself as i get the impression you are already doing a wonderful job, prioritise, get some extra space for yourself, be good to yourself, kind to yourself, gentle on yourself, just because you have children and a house to run and debts to pay doesnt mean that you get put aside, you will sort it out eventually or it will do so itself, dont worry too much, lay the burden down for a bit just relax, and things will go a lot smoother, yes easier said than done, it takes practise, just remember you once a day, even if its a nice hot bubble bath or a walk, or something nice you like, i hope this bit extra assists in some way, sometimes we just have to allow our feelings to be their in order for them to go away, take care of yourself and take things quietly, best of luck with the process and many blessings to you, love dottxx
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in everything, we have to start from within. You need to turn inward and accept your rights and wrongs. you need to understand yourself and accept yourself for who you are, or else you can't accept others for who they are let alone love them and be loyal to them.
you need to know what really makes you happy. because if you don't, nobody else can make you happy. you are not happy with your marriage, he is your best friend but there is something else he can't give you, and then you looked for it outside : the Aqua man. where as you should first look inside and find the answer there. why are you not happy in the first place? have you tried talking to your husband about it? what does the aqua man have, that your husband doesn't?
Hi leoscorpion - sometimes I don't think there is anything inside me, just a vast empty shell.
A lot of this problem stems from the fact I don't want to be totally alone - just a little bit alone - free, I suppose. That's what the Aqua man offered me - no strings, I didn't owe him anything and didn't expect anything in return. My husband tries to give me that, and vice versa, but there's still a lot of ties.
My husband always said he could forgive anything except deception, but when he found out I'd lied about my affair, he forgave me! I was expecting - wanting?? - him to throw me out/leave.
I'm not sure the answer to this is in my horoscope after all - maybe a few sessions on a Relate couch!!!!!
casper40232>>Let me know.
Sandran712>>I watch the young and the restless and American Idol
in this case astro charts won't help much. you might know yourself better after reading it, but you still have to do the inner work anyway. feeling empty, is one thing that inner work will heal, not astro chart. I have to go to work now. be back shortly.
"My husband always said he could forgive anything except deception, but when he found out I'd lied about my affair, he forgave me! I was expecting - wanting?? - him to throw me out/leave."
hmm a Sag really doesn't let go of anything that he wants. if he still wants you, he is not leaving or letting you go, until the day he doesn't want you anymore. What about him? is he loyal? do you know for sure?
"I'm not sure the answer to this is in my horoscope after all - maybe a few sessions on a Relate couch!!!!! "
I used to do a lot of readings on here. But lately I am too busy with so many opportunities the universe gave me. I took most of them, so that I can pay off my debts faster. I have 2 years to pay off my business debts but I want to rush it LOL besides astrology is easy, you can always read it online everything is there. It takes more than that to be an astrologer, but if you want astrologer report then it won't be free. This site has astrologer report, and many other sites offer them too.
I can give you a glimpse of your relationship based on sun sign : this is generalities. an indepth compatibility chart is about comparing two birth charts. But I will just give you a general look.
Your Sag is deeply smitten by you. Your presence colors his world, he adores you to no end. He admires everything you do and everything you are. He will most likely accept your flaws, because in this relationship, he is not likely able to see you as who you are. He sees you as picture perfect, the most beautiful experience he has ever encountered. No wonder he can forgive you for your affair, he will do anything to keep you, because if anything, you bring beauty to his world. To you, however, he is pleasant company. Maybe intellectually and physically intriguing, but if you ever love him, it takes more than pleasantness to make it last. No wonder you want freedom, this relationship is not one that can last in commitment. It takes more than just pleasantness and beauty to keep the romance alive.
Start within yourself. Find it in you, what is it that makes you whole. Is it really freedom that you seek? If you do seek freedom, why did you marry him in the first place? Most likely, because your Sag is smitten by you, that he was the one proposing about marriage, but if you didn't want to be committed, why did you agree to marry him in the first place?
I'm not saying that you are wrong, that freedom is not what you seek. The thing is, even the most free person, does feel loneliness and emptiness. Because being free has nothing to do with feeling fulfilled. In fact, feeling fulfilled can lead to feeling complete, because you feel you have all you need. Try to turn inward again, look deeper, beyond this emptiness. There must be something else that you seek.
dotthorey>>its time maybe to go it alone for a while and search yourself for some answers, try new interests, only you can make your life happy, people are in our lifes for us to learn, ask yourself what did i learn from these relationships,
Sandran712>I agree with you.I would have said the same thing myself but, you said it for me.LOL
Jupiter>>I've been married to a Sagittarian - who I am not in love with - for 12 years. He is, however, my best friend.
Sandran712>>Sags are very good listeners.So I am surprised that you fell out of love with him.They remind me a little like Cancer because they have a few similiar qualities.We are not compatible at all.They leave a Cancer restless.
"Casper Hello, I'm Wanda and I'm a Capricorn (I hope he isn't) anyway,"
LOL no, Jupiter's hubby is a Sag. I remember you, though.
Aren't you the one married to a Leo? I wrote in some of your threads about my Cap hubby.
Don't know if you remember. anyway I hope I didn't mistake you for another Cap LOL
Thank you for all the comments since I last checked this thread - especially Leoscorpion. You made absolute sense about his feelings for me. I have actually accused him, in the past, of putting me on a pedistal and not seeing the real me - but he denied it, I could totally see him in everything you said.
My reasons for marrying him will stay secret from this thread, as they put me in a very bad light. It's enough to say that I am not the person I was 12 years ago, but I do accept that my hubby has helped make me the person I am today - which is why the situation feels so hard - I owe him an awful lot. sigh
it's fine you don't have to tell it all here
I'm just giving you the questions for you to look for the answer within
doesn't mean you have to say it here - it's just for your own quiet time
I did a lot of inner work myself. 12 yrs ago I was nothing like I am today.
so don't worry about it. It is in the past.
you are a different person now and you know it.
We are here to learn and move forward
You don't always see the lesson but you will if you turn inward and make honest assessment
I don't think that someone has to stay in a relationship when the love is gone
but this is your life and it is you who will make the decision about it
Start the inner work. You will gain clarity and guidance you need
There are a lot of reasons why you feel empty and lost
One of them is that you missed the guidance, the road map
without road map, you are driving blindly in life
you take wrong turns, time and time again, get lost and can't find your way back
and so you keep on going, and get lost even further
Stop driving. Take the time off for yourself and turn inward.
let me know when you are ready to start inner work. I can suggest a few things.
you will then choose whether you want to follow it or find another way.