Is it me or him



  • I am really new to the computer and this is the only forum I have ever been on. As the captain told me I really do not want to have people get angry with me so please bare with me as I don't know if I am doing this right. I have been married for almost 25 years and I really need to try and stay for two more years. Lately it seems like my husband is just sucking the life out of me and I need to know if there is anything on my part that I could do differently. I have always felt that he is a dark soul and as I become more spiritual it seems whenever he walks in the house I can't breathe. Is it me or him. Do you think I will be able to last out the two years. I have a teenager who chose to live here who lost his father 5 years ago and his mother this past december. The children love me what can I say. My husbands birthday is 3-30-55 if that really means anything. Thank you in advance for anyone that can help.



  • It's such a shame about your husband. He has some amazing qualities - great intuition and psychic gifts and much empathy - but he also has an intense, withdrawn, and depressive side. Bluebird, part of your husband's problem is that with his empathy he picks up everyone else's dark and sad thoughts, all their negativity and moods - including your unhappiness and desire to leave - and it just makes him feel worse. He's not a bad person, just overly sensitive and doesn't know how to protect himself from other people's bad vibes. He needs a lot of time alone to recharge and replenish his energies.

    It would really help you both if you could talk about this with him as he may not realise he is an empath and that he needs to cut himself off from others' negatiivty. He takes on other people's problems without realising it. It must make him feel very confused and helpless.



  • Thank you captain. I don't know. He has always been extremely selfish and one-sided through out our whole relationship. I have always been the one to give and he has always been the one to take. Maybe I have just come to the end of my rope. The family sees him one way and everyone else sees him as a caring conscientious loving human being. He will do things for other people before he will ever do there for us.



  • If you really feel you have to leave, then you should. The only way I can see you staying is if you have a heart-to-heart with your husband and tell him you will leave if he doesn't lift his game. But I am getting the sense that there has not been much real communication between you two.



  • Also you say he is very selfish but I am getting the feeling he just doesn't know what you need or want because you have never made that clear to him. Men need to have things clearly stated for them while women can often intuit things better.



  • Thank you Captain for your insight. I will see what I can do at my end and yes you are right the communication has been gone for a long time. Thank you again for the wonderful thing you do for everyone.