Love&relationships



  • well you see i really just have a question. i have been dating this guy for almost 2 months... he wants me to stop talking to my ex of 2 years, i understand why, but that is just a really close relationship that i dont want to lose. i mean we have been through way to much together. ive noticed that my boyfriend is really insecure he always wants to know what i am doing and he isnt used to having a girl who is so wild. i want to change for him, but is it really worth it? HELPPPP



  • Well A few things stand out in your question - I want to change for him... That is never gonna work you both have to work on acceptance, you are a wild and free woman that is part of what he loves about you so why change it? Next thing that jumps out is - He wants me to stop talking to my ex ... I understand why. Ok if you get why he wants you to stop and you want to change for him what is the problem? Could it be that you don't want to give this new insecure guy the full benefit of your attention? By splitting your focus between an ex and a new love you are short changing yourself. Because consciously or not you are comparing the two men and that is not fair. You and the ex are done! He and you have moved on to new relationships. Yes, be a friend to him but not so much so that you jeopardize your new blossoming romance. The insecurity that your new beau is exhibiting will probably go away once you make him feel that he is number 1 guy not a place holder till your ex comes to his senses. Never forget, men are sensitve too and can pick up on what your are feeling even without words just like us girls. So if you think it, he gets it on some level and it makes him insecure to feel you thinking that way. Who wouldn't be? Who wants to be in a relationship where you are not ever sure of the footing? Is what you are getting from your ex worth your current relationship?



  • First, you don"t change for anyone. That's how you were when he meet you. If, you start to change little parts of you, you'll change all of you. First, it's this, and he sees he's gotton his way. Next, it'll be something else. One thing after another.

    If, he's so concerned about you being friends with your ex, he needs to find another way to handle it, other than being jealous. Maybe, you all can do things together. Try to include him in conversations and outings you have with this friend.



  • Hi Amber, If your ex is single, that is why he feels insecure. I would continue to be yourself and I wouldn't forget any friendships because you know what is going on. And as long as nothing is, nothing is wrong. You'll probably want to cut-back on communication some. I have been told the same thing. Don't forget your friends. You can be friends w/ex boyfriends. Does your ex/bf help you if you need it. If he does, this is a true friend.



  • After two years of being with someone, I would think that you and your ex are still interested in eachother if you still talk, yet there is a reason you two split up in the first place, so maybe remember why. However, I think this has crossed your new bf's mind and maybe he feels he's being threatened by your ex which you said you shared alot with in the past. When you meet someone new and only know them for a bit and they still talk with an ex who they shared alot with and they share a past together, the new person feels like a third wheel. I believe it's not good to keep ex's around after you brake up, especially if you are in a new relationship, friends or not, it makes the new person worry, wonder, and wait for an ending without getting a fair chance at a begining. This is however just my oppinion and maybe this new guy is not for you, not your type or not understanding enough for you if you decide you will not give up your ex's friendship, then you have to find someone who will understand and put up with it. Great luck to you!


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