Common Misconceptions about Soulmates
I am hearing a lot of people here talk and ask questions about soulmates. But I think many times what they think is a love soulmate is actually something else.
Some misconceptions -
1. When you and your soulmate are together, everything is fine and dandy with no problems whatsover (Wrong - there is no such thing as perfection, all relationships take work. A relationship with a soulmate can be tumultuous and stormy at times but you always learn something of great value, and grow. Soul mates can give each other some of their hardest lessons in life.)
2. Your soulmate is your ideal match - someone with whom you find complete agreement and peaceful accord and never fight over anything. (Partly wrong - we all tend to look for similarities of opinions and choices and judgments in others and then feel that we are connected with each other. With soul mates, it might be the other way around. A person can be your soul mate and objectively you are a perfect match, but in the mind area, you can have varying opinions or complete differences ranging from the view of life to things like food or movies or whatever.)
3. Soulmates are a single person or a love partner (Wrong - soulmates are anyone who has a profound effect on your life - they could be teachers, family, friends, strangers, and there will certainly be more than one and some of the same sex, like a best friend. Twin flames are different kettles of fish - there is only one of them for you and you may not even meet in the present lifetime. They always come to you so that together you may accomplish an important mission of great value to mankind. More of this later. )
4. Soulmates are meant to be together forever, like in a fairytale (Wrong - soulmates come into your life to help you at the time when you most need it. They serve a purpose and once that purpose has been fufilled, they disappear or are removed, often for the rest of your life this time around. Soulmate relationships are intense, but can be either short or longterm. Two people can come together for a short period to propel each other forward in life, and then they will move on to other partners.)
5. We need to find our soulmate in order to be happy and fulfilled (Wrong - soul mates originally split up for a reason, to learn lessons they couldn't learn together. It doesn't mean you cannot find contentment and satisfaction if you are not together. There are many ways to be happy on Earth - helping others, having a career we love, enjoying solitude etc. )
There are many different types of close relationships and often people mistakenly call them by the blanket name of 'soulmate'. However we should never ignore other loves that come into our life for they are vital to our development and growth as spiritual beings - our fear of making a mistake and getting hurt can stunt our personal growth. Pain is a necessary part of life, we can choose how long we hold on to it. Once it has served its purpose and we have allowed it to teach us the lesson we need to learn, it can be released.
Karmic relationships are those where people still have karma to deal with between them from other lives. Now this doesn't necessarily mean "bad" karma, it can be good karma as well. A karmic Soul Mate can be a family member (parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, etc.), a close friend, a romantic relationship, basically any relationship that has impacted our lives in any way. With these people, we always have lessons to share and these relationships can at times not be completely comfortable. Although these people invoke deep feelings (positive or negative) we seldom develop a long-term romantic relationship with a Karmic Soul Mate - these are generally more for lessons and growth rather than a life partner, romantically speaking.
COMPANION SOUL MATES
These closely resemble the Twin Flame in-so-far as this is generally a relationship based on romantic love, however there is still karma between the two people involved and, although the couple can learn to live within unconditional love, the relationship is not based on it. Quite often Companion Soul Mates will come together for a project such as writing a book, starting a business, or even assisting one to get through a particular trial or lesson in this life. Once the project is finished often the relationship ends as well, leaving both parties scratching their heads wondering what happened. Companion Soul Mates can and do join together as Life Partners, especially when the Twin Flame is not present in this lifetime or when for whatever reason the Twin Flames cannot be together in this life. Companion Soul Mates are still in the 'teaching each other lessons' mode and this is one of the major differences between a Companion and a Twin, but I'll get into those differences further on. Often Companion Soul Mates are confused with a Twin Flame, for sometimes there is not a lot of karma left between the couple. However, whenever there is any karma left to work out, then the relationship is still within the boundaries of the Companion Soul Mate realm. Companion Soul Mates have known each other in many lifetimes and have loved many times. Generally when you meet a Companion Soul Mate there is an immediate attraction, 'Love At First Sight' sort of thing, although sometimes there is the opposite because of the remembered hurts of the past, but this is far rarer.
Twin Fames have no karma left to work out between them - they resolved all of it in past lives. Twin Flames love each other with no expectation of the other and with no conditions attached to the giving of that love. It's easy to say that you love someone unconditionally but you need to ask yourself - could you love this person if for some reason they could not remain with you? Could you give your love to this person with no expectations, not even that the love will be returned or even recognized? Can you love this person for no other reason than there is simply no other option available to you? If you can answer a resounding (and honest) yes to all of the above, then you are experiencing unconditional love. When Twin Flames come together they become one - they are not like each other, they are the mirror image of the other. They think alike, they hold the same values, and often their life experiences are very similar, sometimes they will actually look like each other. By that they will have similar builds, bone structures and features. Twin Flames do not teach each other, they learn together and help each other learn the lessons that have been set before them in this lifetime. When Twin Flames come together they join forces and are capable of overcoming obstacles the average mortal could not begin to face. They are so filled with unconditional love they literally glow with it and have much to share with others. They are the inspiration that poets write about and singers sing about ...
What is the secret to attracting a love soulmate?
The secret is how you think about yourself, how you think about a soulmate, and how you feel about attracting somebody into your life. It's about how you communicate. Do you speak proactively or do you speak in a destructive kind of way like "I always run into the bad relationships" or "I always fall for the wrong person" for instance? That's a destructive way of speaking and thinking about yourself. To find a soulmate, you need to put the intention out there and be convinced that that person exists. And when you really feel, think, speak and act in a positive way, when you love yourself and radiate that love ourwards, then you will attract the person into your life who suits you the best.
Awesome- well said! Thanks for clarifying.
I haven't even finished reading this as it is late ---- I am so glad you took the time to do this! I'm at a loss why people believe as they do. Really at a loss .....
Hello Captain, I have met a man I dated 35 yrs ago, We have been dating again for 8 months and we laugh, we cry , We Disagree on many subjects just like we did before. We had not seen each other for 35 yrs yet that spark was still there, I am so confused he says it is our destiny and all I can see is the same problems as before although I must say I am handling all of that differently. He never married and tells me he knew he would meet me again. We are both single and in our early 60,s and of course still learning,,,, that I believe is what life is all about(,,,LEARNING),,, so we can elevate our level. I am trying right now to learn something from you, as I can plainly see you are a learned person, who wants to teach. May I take the liberty of being your student for this subject. Any comments will be appreciated. ...... thank you ......... Leonida
How interesting The Captain.
Hmmmm ... and in lives we lead, who is right and who is wrong? Who is it that sits in judgement and is more right than another?
Hmmmm ... so much Soul-Mate talk hey? Hmmmm, now.
How very interesting, indeed.
Though I can't disagree with too much of what you say.....a Soulmate/Twinflame experience is a very personal thing. Who knows the whole truth of anything.....NO ONE!!!
Relationships are deeply personal to each individual and each person needs to follow their heart.....and not the opinions of others. For no one here knows the TRUTH, anymore than anyone else. This is all speculation on our part and knowledge gained from books.
If you feel you have met your Soulmate/Twinflame and it has sparked a love within you at a level that no one else has.....then you very well may be right!!! Trust it....go with it....and see where your heart leads you. To back off out of fear that you may be kidding yourself....is NOT what is in ones best interest. We are all here to love unconditionally. PERIOD!!! No one better to lead us in that direction than a Soulmate/Twinflame.
Like i said.....this is a highly PERSONAL experience.....and I would NEVER take someone's advice off the internet over my own Soul's guidance.
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART......NOT THE MIND!!! THE MIND/EGO CANNOT COMPREHEND THIS KIND OF LOVE AND WILL KEEP YOU FROM IT!!!!
Leonida, what are you asking?
Soulshock, just because you want something to be right, doesn't mean it is. Why do you feel so threatened by this thread? Could it be you know the truth deep down about your relationship?
Have you ever experienced this Captain? I bet not!! If you had,,,,you would have an inkling what this does to a person.
Please don't kid yourself or others into thinking you know anything about what is going on with me and my situation. You may be intuitive....but to what degree I have no idea.
I would be a FOOL to take what you say as gospel. You are some person on the internet that no one here knows!! You claim to be intuitive but I don't know that!! Should I take your word for it?? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!
The fact is....we all have a Soul within that leads us. I certainly don't trust yours to lead mine!!
Soulshock, you are right. I don't know what it's like to hang on to a memory of what might have been for thirteen years without any sign from the person involved that he even wanted to have a future with me. And I wouldn't want to. You have built up this relationship until the man seems perfect in your mind. He's not even in your life - how many more years will you waste on a fantasy? I'm quite sure the reality would never match your dreams.
You came here asking for advice but what you really wanted was to be told that this fantasy lover loves you and will return to you. Sorry, I can't do that. It really doesn't bother me whether you take this advice or leave it.
How about them colts and saints??? Geez lol.
Thanks for the information Thecaptain. It was very informative!!! Is there such thing as a bad soulmate? Perhaps someone who comes in your life and messes things up or something or no?
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Mestiza, that sounds like a karmic relationship.
From circlesoflight.com - "In my opinion, all soulmate connections are karmic, but not all karmic relationships involve soulmates. Some may consider this a good thing, due to the fact that a soul mate relationship requires a large committment to our spiritual growth...and not necessarily the easy way.
When it has become obvious that we're involved in a karmic relationship of some kind, there are certain things we can do to move it in the best direction. We can be in a karmic relationship with anyone, a lover, the postman, dear old mom, anyone. Rather than feel that we are a victim of this phenomenon, we can assume a perspective which is more positive, healthy and life-affirming.
In this situation, one could have faith in the idea that this relationship isn't in your life to punish you, but instead, as a reward. You have been given the opportunity to advance your personal evolution through the dynamic of this relationship. View your situation as this: the person you are relating to is an angelic messenger for you, a special tutor in the game of human existence. With this perspective, you will tap into the God-Self of that person. This is an amazing experience.
Learning to do this is relatively easy, if you have the nerve to follow through with it. At issue of course, is the risk of opening up. One of the nice things about a karmic relationship is that there's a degree of familiarity already, so opening one's heart and soul can be somewhat easier. An open heart and soul are necessary to personal evolution. The idea is that this is a type of personal growth that will last you for more than one existence. Long term gains.
Communication is usually the key to making the relationship perform a positive function. This of course is a tool for opening up. To bring out the positive function of a karmic relationship, it is necessary that we confront the fact that this is what is happening and talk to the other person about it. This means that we have to discuss the condition of our soul with our friend and hopefully, they will return the favor. Right away this eliminates many of the karmic implications of the relationship, since getting through the secrets and illusions has mostly been accomplished.
What we must understand is that in a karmic relationship we are dealing with raw, vulnerable, soul stuff. The masks of ego are simply a distraction and can be rather ruthlessly violated if we do not open up willingly. This is where the unpleasant aspects of a karmic relationship can come in. Sometimes very little can happen in the relationship except for beating away at egoic structures, because neither party is willing to release them and learn their real lessons from each other.
The lessons that we have to learn from each other can be as varied as life itself. One may be certain however, that the lesson is deep, personal and one that, left to our own devices, we would probably avoid. This may be why such spiritual devices are part of our lives, to provide an external force to motivate the learning experience. Our "karmic buddy" is in our lives to assist in our learning, and we supply the same service to them.
Karmic relationships are valuable gifts that can help us on our spiritual journey. This can only occur however, if we're willing to let go of the petty ego structures that we find useful as one-lifetime-only propositions. When we can take our entire spiritual existence into account and act from that perspective, major learning experiences can take place."
From circlesoflight.com - PART TWO: "Now we'll look at what happens when we keep meeting the same person. "Coincidences" run rampant and there may be a frequent sense of deja vu. We may find ourselves in situations or conversations where we feel that we've been handed a script and we know just what our lines are. This can be disturbing, since it's definitely out of the ordinary, and we may wonder what it means. I expect that quite a few people run from a particular relationship just because they sense the repercussions ahead.
We can safely assume that we continue to be drawn to the same person in order to share learning and assist in each other's evolutionary process. The trick here seems to be that we must manage to avoid acting out the same experiences and instead, develop new approaches and solutions to life. It can seem so much easier though, to follow in time-worn habits of behavior, some of which may seem "right" simply because we've done them so often. These can include being the punching bag for the partner who has never been motivated to find a different expression for his/her anger, or being the "bad guy" for the martyr who has developed no other focus for self-esteem. Our job in the relationship is to provide an evolutionary impetus for each other to find the new solutions and not play out roles which are damaging to ourselves and our partners.
A more positive view of this situation occurs when both partners have the intention to grow as individuals. In this case, our partner can provide an objective perspective of a behavior or recurring difficulty, allowing us to look beyond our typical solutions. On occasion this objective perspective can manifest as a very loud yell in our ear, breaking through a comfort zone and demanding that we wake up. Regardless of the means, it is difficult to remain oblivious to the consequences of our behavior while in a karmic relationship.
Sometimes we will come together with someone in order to balance old debts. This is very common and can sometimes be misleading. That occurs when we believe that this is a lifetime relationship but it is actually intended to last only long enough to even an old score. I suspect that this is what happens sometimes in marriages when one partner supports another through an educational phase and then the educated partner leaves. Perhaps this was a pay-back of support given in the other direction in the past. When we look at such a situation only in terms of current conditions though, it can be very upsetting."
TheCaptain--- Thank you for providing another thought provoking article.
Ten years ago, I decided, after trying everything under the sun, to stop being the "punching bag" for another's anger issues ( family member) and it was the most difficult decision. (The anger in this person is still there, just before it was done behind the scenes, now its in the open. ) I'm glad and have found peace since I quit swimming with this shark. Sometimes, there is no solution, but to wish another well and hope they one day see beyond the ego.
With your words you tried to minimize my experience. Sorry if I take offense to that. As far as a lot of what you told me "CAPTAIN" it came out of a BOOK!! I have the same BOOK you got the info from. Ya know...the one that compares Birth DAYS and Compatibility!!!
I was just surprised at how cold and uncaring you were when "reading" into my situation. You could have put things in a nicer way. Besides...you are just guessing anyway!!! You told me I was only remembering the good times and not the bad....and the fact is...there weren't any bad times!!! Shows what you know!!
What I've learned.......you get what you pay for!!!
Soulshock, I have always said my astrology and numerology readings are taken from many sources. The psychic readings are from me alone.
Move on with your life.