Captain, insight please

  • Dear Captain,

    You are helpful to many on the forum. including me 🙂

    I would like some insight on a relationship 12/23/81 and 11/15/83. My daughter is considering moving in with her boyfriends family. I don't think it is a good idea, but this is her choice. I am concerned about her health and consequences of this.

    Your help with this would be greatly appreciated.

    Thank you 🙂

  • This is a relationship that can last for the long term. It's all about ideas and communication. These two love to start up new endeavours together. Marriage and careers are often interwoven. Both of these people involve themselves deeply in whatever they do - they are comfortable spending a lot of time together. The state of their home together reflects the state of their working life, and vice versa. The relationship is often dominated by drives toward power, status, and money. Care should be taken to balance such drives with an ethical, religious or spiritual orientation.

    If their love affair lacks the focus of a common goal, it will quickly burn out or fade away due to lack of interest. An attraction in horror films and books, science fiction, or the supernatural is shared here but too obsessive an interest could have a bad effect on their psychological stability and could isolate them from others around them who simply don't understand them.

  • Dear Captain,

    Thank you for your reply. They seem to relate well, have common interests movies sci fi.

    The state of there "home" , or would be home is the issue I suppose. My daughter is planning to move in with his family. There are several issues I am concerned about and the effect they will have on her. I suppose I am selfish but her health is a concern.

    They had been together in an apt. before, but it did not work out. It may have but his sister and her kids moved in, then the sister left and left the kids. Later his mother took the kids. Now it seems the situation will be more of the same or worse be cause the sister kids are there and his mother and brother. While they were in an apt. she became ill a few times. Any futher help would be appreciated. My heart is heavy, but hoping for the best.

    Thank you:)

  • In the end it is your daughter who must stand up for what she wants. If she is not comfortable with the living arrangements, she must say so. Do you think her being ill is connected to her living arrangements?

  • Yes, some of it.

    Thank You

  • Captain,

    Sometimes, I am a person of few words.

    She has an ilness that can be made worse by a number of things. Environment, stress, improper diet, act level, persons with infections all can be cause further problems. I told her it is her decision, I don't know if I should say more or let it go.

    Thanks for your response.

  • I feel you must step back and let her make her own decisions - even if she is wrong, she will at least have learnt a good lesson and can grow. I feel there is a bit of dependecy in her for you (or others) to always take care of things for her.

  • Yes, you are right, I have been stepping back a bit. This may be why she is making this decision. I feel this is a lesson she needs to learn. I feel I should step back even more to help her grow and decrease dependency.

    Thank you for your kindness and help

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