Hans I spoke to you the other day and really could do with chatting again



  • hi hans

    we conversed the other day re me and my husband j - you said you felt we could work it out - he had an affair with N who works with him. I found out today that she and her boyfriend have finished . I am feeling very insecure and I feel that it is hopeless between J and I

    I am really at a loss to know what to do - he is being so flippant and seemingly not taking the consequences for his actions

    help

    UBB



  • I am really at a loss to know what to do: Be strong, but your weakness is your real strength.

    A story:

    Three men went up to a haunted house because they had heard there was a fortune there. The first man went in while the two others remained outside. He saw some money on a table and started to put the money in his pocket, when he heard a voice say, “I am the ghost of the Holy Navel, put the money back on the table !” The man ran out the back door.

    The second man entered because the first took so long. He also saw the money on the table. As he started to put the money in his pocket, a strange voice said, “I am the ghost of the Holy Navel, put the money back on the table!” This man also fled out the back door.

    The third man got tired of waiting, and he went inside. He saw the money. As he began to put the money in his pocket, a strange voice said, “I am the ghost of the Holy Navel, put the money back on the table!”

    But instead of running away, the man said, “I am the ghost of Davy Crockett, and I will put the money in my pocket!”

    The ghost disappeared, and the man went out the front door a rich man.

    The fear is the root cause!



  • Hans I agree I have to deal with my ghosts to get through this. What do you mean weakness is my real strength. Is there really hope for J and I to mend our relationship? Is it possible to give me any more guidance about the next steps on the path for us both. He says he cannot commit to the relationship at the moment because he cannot guarantee to be faithful

    thank you

    UBB



  • h



  • Hans, Hellooo)))

    😞

    I need you help and advice please



  • H



  • Ultrablondbird

    What do you mean weakness is my real strength? Water is stronger than stone. Be a woman, not a man.

    Is there really hope for J and I to mend our relationship? Yes.

    Is it possible to give me any more guidance about the next steps on the path for us both: First step: Take the steam out of the vessel. Do not overburden yourself, pressurize neither him nor yourself. Do not take the game serious.

    Every journey ends in the innermost suchness of being -- and that you have every moment. So it is only a question of becoming a little more aware. What is wrong with you? You have not really something wrong, but you create things. You are a creator, a great creator of illnesses, wrongs, problems, and then you chase them -- how to solve them? First you create and then you go chasing. Why in the first place create them?



  • Lis1

    I need you help and advice please: defeat the problems. Be a wanderer. Success through smallness. Perseverance as a wanderer brings good fortune. Be clear-minded and cautious in imposing penalties and protract no lawsuits.

    If you can be ordinary, you are successful.



  • Hans, you are as wonderful and as insightful as always!

    have just had a super powerful connection whereby the one had to receed and I not just had to agree, but thak them for letting me go.

    I'm literally typing and crying in happines and bitter at the same time....so powerful...so...incredable...

    Now I must be strong and let them go, I've even said to them to run (hence it was their idea for time out)!



  • Thank u so much hans xx



  • Hello Hans,,,,,, 🙂

    I was hoping that u can help me understand this involvment i have with this man i have in my life. He has shown me a great side to him and now he has done a complete turn around. He has told me that his job, that is full of travel and his family life takes up a lot of his time and that he feels its not that right time for love, but yet he poured all this love and desire into me. HIs bday is May1/75. I am having a hard time letting go of what it is that he has said to me, and how he made me feel. I felt that this has entered my body and now i feel like i am trying to release it or should i say him. I get this over whelming feeling sometimes that he may come back at some point but with the way i feel i dont know if i could be so forgiving. As much as i feel his breath inside me and want that back, i feel like its hard to let go and trust that what he has done and said to be true. PLease help me understand why i have been put in this situation. Id rather be alone then go through this heartache over and over. My dob is sept.11/79

    Thank you

    Viktoria79



  • Lis1

    The English word destruction is very beautiful, meaningful. The word destruction means de-structuring -- nothing is destroyed, only the structure changes, a new structure arises. The old structure goes out of existence and a new structure arises. Destruction means de-structuring. Only the form changes.



  • Ultrablondbird

    awareness is the essence of meditation.



  • viktoria79

    I was hoping that u can help me understand this involvment i have with this man i have in my life: Your own feelings die, because you are walling them in alive.

    PLease help me understand why i have been put in this situation: because you have to go for what you want. Move instead of waiting.

    You are afraid. If you move in any relationship, you may be rejected. If you move in any relationship, you may not prove adequate. If you move in any relationship, then your reality will surface and the masks will drop. You are afraid because the other may leave some day, so it is better not to get involved; otherwise it will hurt very much. Then you become insensitive. You move blindfolded in life – and then you ask: Where is God? God is all around. You need to be sensitive, and you can see love anywhere.



  • Hans,

    What do you mean?



  • Hans,

    Do you mean this relation wll carry on onto different level?

    How does that persn feel about me? Why he left?

    Hence it wasn't my decision, I cannot come back to him, as he expressed his wish to leave, I respect his decision.

    I have no idea what to do if he comes back, whether to accept him or not, as I don't want the repeat like this, as it hurts a lot.

    What's going on?

    Thank you, Hans!!))



  • Hi Hans, thank you for your reply. I do need to say that i have a lot of love to give, and i am open to giving it but when i feel like its safe to i get rejected, and it hurts b/c the one that i want is not the one that he portrayed himself to be. Its such a vicious game to play dont you think??

    I wanted to know if this man will come back into my life to try to ring me in again, i feel like its possible as so is everything but just for clarity id like to know.

    Thank you

    Viktoria79



  • Lis1

    What do you mean? You are negating growth.

    Do you mean this relation wll carry on onto different level? No.

    How does that persn feel about me? He is more interested in thinking, reading, studying, than feeling about you.

    Why he left? The world has disappointed him. There is no personal strength, he is just surviving.

    What's going on? You are like an empress, a strong mother, he does not want to be dominated by.

    And the last thing to remember always is: in the relationship of love, you always blame the other if something goes wrong. If something is not happening as it should, the other is responsible. This will destroy the whole possibility of future growth. Remember: you are always responsible, and change yourself. And drop those qualities which create trouble. Make love a self-transformation.



  • viktoria79

    Its such a vicious game to play dont you think?? No.

    I wanted to know if this man will come back into my life to try to ring me in again, i feel like its possible as so is everything but just for clarity id like to know: No.

    Many things have to be clarified in this context.The basic dissimilarity, the difference between male and female brings many kinds of results.



  • Thak you, Hans. I do blame myself actually....

    Do I take it as he won't come back?


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