Cris1962 can I talk yo you and lovingmylife, please
This is the reading you did for me about 3 months ago and so much has been changing pretty fast, since. I just can't make sense of what is happening now and how positive this reading was, and yet, things are not going as I had interrupted from this that you shared with me a few months ago.
I am more confused about my personal life then ever, although I have dealt with and overcome so many other things that have been happening, this part of my life is so unclear, its like the universe is screwing with me and to be honest, I don't know how much more I can take of it.
Anything, you can tell me, would be appreciated.
This is really messing me up, here.
I second what lovin says here Kay. I do feel that you are not trusting the process of reclaiming joy and a new life as you might feel subconsciously that it'll all get blown away in the next strong wind. This new man is riding the waves with you and I feel he stands back a bit when you're going through the dips in those waves. It's not because he doesn't care, but more because he knows you need to deal with these periods of residual grief without interference or influence from him. He's a very wise soul this one, and it is great that the Higher Ups sent him to you when they did. I get this message about him "i'll catch you when you fall". So rest assured, your feelings of a future with this man are based on a solid foundation and he won't let you down.
Now you need to work on not letting yourSELF down here. Your husband is watching over you and is the one who sent this fellow to you (yes, he's one of the Higher Ups now). His passing was quite sudden, is that right? I think you really had to get back on with life too quickly after his death, and it's catching up to you now. Your inner strength is wavering a bit, but it won't weaken entirely. What lovin says about angels helping you when you feel your worst is right; they'll never leave you.
Life will take a turn for the better, and these dark days will soon be a distant memory. I get the feeling that you feel you were at fault for your husband's passing? Was there a bit of an argument not long beforehand? Well can I ask you this: if he was still alive, none of the unpleasantness that happened before his death would be an issue now, would it? Do you understand what I mean? Unless you stood before him and aimed a gun at him and pulled the trigger, there is no blame to be levelled at your for what took him. He knows that and has tried to tell you repeatedly. He says to you, "give it a rest; I chose to go, it was my time" and then he wants to put a frangipani in your hair behind your ear as a way of comforting you. (Please bear with me here; like lovin, I'm writing what's coming ...) I see him in a red t-shirt and jeans. He's still the casual, easy going bloke you knew in life and I think he also blows softly in your ear. A rather cheeky soul he was, and the one he picked as his replacement is quite similar to him, but in his words "he's a whole lot more reliable than I ever was". He apologises for hurting you and leaving you alone and if anything, he blames himself for his death, as such. He's trying to lift a huge weight off your shoulders, but you seem to be clinging on to it. Please let him take this from you; where it's going, it won't weigh him or anybody or anything down again.
I see him now holding a tree; a small tree, like a sapling. He's asking you to plant a tree for him; a tree with white blooms - maybe frangipani (think he liked that fragrance). Plant it in the backyard of the new house you move to, not this one you may lose. He wants you to leave this house as the memories are too hard on you. The next place you live in will be in a beautiful spot, and, as said, he wants that tree planted down in the back corner to the right. He won't let you forget to water it either, so don't worry about that. He also is saying something about a dog; like "don't you think it's time you got a new one". I get the name "jester" or " chester " or something like that. Sorry, things are a bit mixed here ...
He's holding up what looks like the sun and says to tell you "this is what's coming for you Kay if you'd only let it in". He will also help you travel overseas in the next twelve months as a bit of r & r is needed for you and your new man. He's very happy with this fellow and pleased with his choice. He's also asking that you let this man in, as you seem to be pushing him away sometimes.
Main messages here are:
Your husband loves you and wants you to let this new happy life in
He wants you to leave the house and is sending you a new one. It may have a white fence around it or white will be a distinctive colour somewhere on it's facade, not just on the tree you plant
Yes, he wants you to plant a tree with white blooms
He's asking you to let this new man in as he will be very good for you
It's time to let him go as he needs to cross over. He will let you know when the time is right and you will feel a sense of overwhelming peace when it comes, not sorrow or grief.
Put your trust in this new man and your worthiness to accept happiness and joy. It's yours for the taking.
He's blowing a kiss at you now and I'm seeing a crooked sort of smile with a big dimple.
IT'S ALL GOOD; that's the big thing he's saying.
Please take comfort in all the good that's coming for you Kay. I hope this reading has made some sense and as said above, please excuse my raving; I wrote what came and I'm sorry if any of it seemed a bit perplexing.
Take care and enjoy your life from now my friend. God and your husband know you deserve it :))
I'm answering on behalf of lovin as well as me, as lovin is very tied up with work commitments and having gone back to school recently as well.
While readers can't always predict all of the ways an issue will go, we sure try to cover everything in our readings for others. Wtih yours, the main issues that came across were your feeling that you were somehow responsible for your husband's death and that you had major trust issues when it comes to receiving the good things in life.
I can't see what it is that's not gone the way you wished it to, or the way lovin and I might have seen it three months ago, but whatever it is, the main thing I get for you now, as then, is: attitude.
I feel your attitude remains largely the same as it was when we read for you then. It's like you're still bogged in the past and somewhere in your subconscious, you feel safe staying there, even though consciously, you wish to be rid of it all.
I want to say to you that fear is the biggest killer of all joy, and I'm picking up quite a bit of fear in you still. Let me clarify that a bit:
fear of giving yourself time to grieve, only to get bogged down in it
fear of becoming happy, only to become sad again
fear of living where you want to, only to have to move again
fear of having enough money, only to lose it
fear of letting love into your life, only to lose that too
wishing dearly to be able to let your husband and his death go,
but fearing that doing so might be a betrayal in some way
Do you see what I mean? These fears will ensure you stay in the past and keep you from the good things the universe wants to give you. I feel that you were given some hope towards the end of last year; that you saw a glimmer of what could be, but reined back in and thought to yourself "it'll only change for the worst again, so why bother". Does that make sense? Is this what happened do you think?
Cast your mind back and be honest as you do so. We are, after all, responsible for our lives and the universe will only give us that which we readily accept with open arms and hearts.
You need to give yourself a proper chance to receive that which both lovin and I saw coming for you.
I will say this to you also: if you're not happy with what I've given you here, then could I suggest you ask either Blmoon or The Captain to read for you? We can't always get it right, and I don't want to suggest that what I've said here, or three months ago, is gospel.
Take care Kay, and I do hope you get to a place where you can readily accept the good things coming. But sometimes, this can be a very difficult thing to do when one has gotten used to receiving nothing but difficulty and trial. Good luck, and let me know how you go :)))