My leo broke up with me...help?
So I have been seeing this leo for about 5 months. I feel really good about him and he was very special to me. I have only been in 1 relationship prior to seeing this leo and things did not go very well in my first relationship. So our relationship was the first real one I had. Basically, I was sort of guarding my heart. I was falling for him hard and I was scared because I never felt this way about anyone. Its a good and scary feeling, I didnt know what to do. I am a gemini. Now that I am ready to open my heart up to him, he broke up with me out of the blue! He said that we could try again after I graduate college if the feelings are still there. He also said he was selfish. He said we could still be friends. The thing about us is that we have quite of an age difference. I am 21 and he is 30. It does not bother me in anyway, but of course we are in different times of our lives.
After our break up I kind of overdid it. I called him and texted him. We hung out again as friends, but things did not go too well according to being friends, basically when we hung out we did things more then friends. So I asked him if he wanted to be with me and he said he doesn't know. He doesn't know what he wants anymore. Basically I asked for him back. He said he couldn't give me what I wanted right now. He was good to me in our relationship and did nothing to hurt me. I emailed him just to check up on him after that. He never responded since a week already. I am just wondering your input on this? I have no idea what he is feeling. I also do not know if he cares for me or would he ever get back together with me? I feel like him saying the graduation thing is just false hope for me now so I won't be so hurt. So he can slowly cut me out of his life. Being friends = sparing my feelings. I don't know what to do right now, of course I will stop contacting him, because if he wanted to talk to me he would contact me. I feel like I am doing all the work in the friend dept. I also wanted to know do you think he will change his mind. I am not completely sure why he broke up with me, but I want him to be flat out honest and truthful even if it does hurt my feelings. (I know it's long! Thanks for reading!)
Background info: He has never been in a relationship pasted 6 months. His past ex’s all left him (out of the blue also). He only ever dumped 1 girl because she was nagging him all the time. He is a typical Leo.
hey im seeing a leo at the moment and he got so hurt by is ex it took me a while to win him over! some guy it takes time to heal all the wounds from the past some can't get over it. I mean you are offering the best you can offer by showing you really want to give this a try wait and give him time and space to rethink about his feelings and if it will be it will be. But dont push him to it he may feel bullied into it.
Hi, thanks a lot for your response! Yeah, I guess so. He needs time and space. I have to be patient. Because of course I would like to be with him now or soon (maybe after a few months of cooling off), not after I graduate (which is next summer). I just wish he would have the patience, because I know in my time right now I cannot provide him what he wants in a relationship as far as staying over and what not. But I had told him, it is just for right now (with my schooling) but if I end up with him in the long run, we will have our whole lives together and I could take trips..etc..with him. I guess he just doesn't want to deal with me? Nothing comes easy in a relationship.
Another factor though, is that he did lose his job within 2 months when we were dating. So he has been looking for a job and didn't have any luck. I believe he is working now, but is looking for a better job. The timing I believe is just off. Of course I do not care about the money, if I did I would have left him already.
But I feel pretty confident we could work this through, it is really not anything, just if he is willing to also.
katiess said it right, don't push him, he will feel like you are trying to dominate him. a leo male won't take it. the woman of this sign, is capable of surrendering if we feel it is the right man. but you can't expect this from the male. they can, however, loosen up, if they know you know what is best for both of you and serious about it. but surrendering, it won't happen.
I know you don't want him to surrender control or anything, just giving you a heads up in case you get together again. Fire sign is not in general patient. We rush into things and people. It's now or never, pretty much. If he wants you "now now" and you can't, he will be disappointed and withdraw. So we rush into things and people, then rush everyone else too LOL unless we have certain planetary position that can tone it down, patience is definitely a virtue for us.
Don't nag him. It won't do you good. In fact it's not a good idea nagging someone that doesn't have patience anyway. Job situation can affect him strongly, because he relates many things to pride. A man without a job, is a man without money. If he is not used to live within his means, he definitely is having a hard time now. But in a way this is a good lesson to learn for him to manage money, spending and saving. To you it's not important, I know, but to him it is. He won't feel secure not having as much money as he used to have, at least until he learns that some good things in life are not expensive and don't have to be.
I can't say much about why he dropped you. but if he was always nice at you, and breaking up without telling you anything, most likely he is just stressed out need time alone. It's hard for him to forget past hurt, because he relates everything with pride. his exes left him, he feels it as rejection, as if he is not worth it. he really likes you, that's why he never hurts you. But as you said the timing is off, and he is dissapointed with the whole thing, not necessarily you. Unless he breaks up with you due to something that you did, I am pretty sure you will be together again when things are sorted out. Other than that, it would take a lot for him to accept you back. Whatever you do, though, don't nag him. You can send "hi, how are you. I miss you" now and then, but limit it once a week. see if he answers.
If you have both dob, birth time and location. I'll see what I can pull out tomorrow night.
Thanks for your insight leoscorpion!
I believe it does have a lot to do with his lack of finding a steady job. I can tell he has much pride. He did say he felt like he met me at the wrong time.
Like I said I might have over did it after the break up as far as phoning and texting, because I did not know how to deal with it, but throughout the relationship I never nagged him. Very true, Leos live like they have to have the best of everything. Yes, it would be a good lesson to help him manage his finances.
As far as why he left me. I think it was partly my fault also. I was unsure of what I wanted. He knew what he wanted. I didn’t completely open up to him like I should have, but it’s just life experiences you learn from. I feel as if we will only remain friends, I think the overdoing it part after the break up might have completely turned him off. I have a feeling he does not want to be with me anymore in the future. He is very loyal, he never cheated or hurt any of his past ex’s. I guess the past rejections like you said really affected him.
I am trying to stay away from contacting him at all right now until he contacts me. If he doesn’t I will maybe contact him in about 2 weeks to check up. But, of course I would like to remain friends. Either than that there is nothing else to do, but see. And yes, I will not push it.
Thank you for your response.
As for me: June 17, 1988
Birth time: approx 6:00am
Location: Houston, TX
For him: August 3, 1979
Location: is also Houston, TX
I am not quite sure what time he was born though.
"because I did not know how to deal with it, but throughout the relationship I never nagged him."
OK that's cool then. I'll see what I can pull out tonight. without birth time I can't find his rising, but I'll see what I can do.
OK without birth time I can't see rising sign so I'll go with DOB only
This is a light hearted relationship to you. You enjoy his company, discuss ideas and have fun going out together. You do not expect much from him, and so the relationship is free of pressure for you. If it goes further, is good. If not, you are happy the way it is. But to him, this means more than just light hearted and casual. He gives you his loyalty and support, even if you barely demand it. You fill his world with laughter and light, he thus reciprocates. He will do anything it takes to make such cheerful situation lasts. He may come across too intense for you, because most of the time he is willing to give you more than you ever expects.
Your Leo is more than willing to provide for you, support and protect you. He is attracted to you physically and it grows deeper the more he knows you. His world is dry and empty without you. It will take a lot for him to let you go, but he will if he feels he or his service can not make you happy or you have found someone that can provide better for you. Under this influence, the loss of his job is again, hurting him.
You both have Mercury conjuncts and Venus conjuncts. You understand each others thinking and share similar taste or ideas. You enjoy social life together, the moments you share together are fulfilling and exciting. He, however, also has Jupiter conjuncts, which gives him a desire for social success, be it popularity or leadership, this enhances many of his Leo traits in terms of leadership and generosity.
His sun is in house IV Cancer, this increases his intuitiveness, his love for family or desire to start one, somewhat tones down his assertiveness or self love. Under this influence, a loss of job affects him very much for he feels like losing the ability to provide although the truth is, he can provide, only lesser than usual. Your sun is in house I Aries adds to your assertiveness, youthful charm and confidence. To you, improvement of quality is more important than material accumulation, hence if you were to lose job, you can live within your means without much problem.
Your mars is in pisces, no wonder you get agitated when he broke up with you. it increases your sensitivity, makes things look worse than they are, small things can drive you nuts if you let them. his venus is in leo, he is protective, sweet and tender to those he loves. He has high expectations in love, make him impatient to those who can not fulfill his expectations. It can be anything, including the things who can not come true since the timing is off.
His mars is in Gemini, increases his ability to debate and argue that already exists in Leo, adds intensity and harshness to his words sometimes. Your venus is also in gemini, you boil over easily, and sometimes enraged. I can imagine verbal fights between you two must be exhausting and hurtful. But your moon in Cancer softens much of your personality although you may become more sensitive emotionally. This is a good nurturing influence to have when it comes to family. His moon is in Sag, he likes to explore the unknown, the new and foreign. He may dwell in studies of the mysteries and the foreign, or visit new places even if it's only local.
I hope this helps. Gotta go now for my ritual. Take care and wish you two the best.
Yeah, I couldn’t provide his birth time. =/
This is very interesting! Thanks for pulling it up and for your analysis!
“he is willing to give you more than you ever expects.” When we were together he did give a lot to me and I did not know how to take it because I guess I am not use to all the nice gestures.
“He, however, also has Jupiter conjuncts, which gives him a desire for social success, be it popularity or leadership, this enhances many of his Leo traits in terms of leadership and generosity. ”
This seems just like him!
Reading all this I can relate it to the way I am and he is. It’s crazy how similar it is.
I will keep you posted.
you're welcome, alexisi
if you need further more, give ScarsandStars and Hpriestess on Men of the Zodiac thread
that's all I can see for you now, glad it helps.
So I have news! lol
I talked to him and he told me he wants to be with me. He did not contact me because he did not want to bother me and I am here wanting to contact him, but didn't think I should because I felt like I was contacting him too much. wow.
The issue is, I am not sure if Leos are just like this, but he said he is very selfish.
It is difficult because I am still living at home and besides that living with grandparents/aunt. (its a bit crowded) but I do plan to move out with only my family by the end of this year). basically we have been trying to move out....and save enough money to do it...we been living like this for the past 7 years so its like a big dream of ours to finally get a new home.
Basically he said he feels like he shouldn't be restricted to see me.
He just wants me to finish school.
I told him so you rather not be with me, then be with me and at least get to see me somewhat rather than nothing. And he said I am that selfish.
But he really wants to remain friends, I told him it will be hard for me. He said its difficult for him also. He can't stop thinking about me. But I mean I'm a cross between still being his friend or just not be involved with him no more..He wants to also know if there's that chance of after graduation and getting back together.
I feel like a guy who can't stand with me through this (which is really nothing, just college, difficult living arrangements) does not deserve to be with me at all. His selfishness will make him lose me........because he feels he is "entitled to it" (see me) sounds like a such a leo!
He can see me everyday for the rest of his life he we end up together. It is just for now that is how its going to be.
I told him, I go through a lot to be with him. I make time to see him, I put in a lot of effort. (when i was with him I try my best to stay over, and plan trips with him.)
What do you think?
you don't want to be just friends. but you can't be more than friends, the way the living arrangement is. I think it's better to be friends for now.
Until you can sort out a better living arrangements. I mean he makes it clear what he wants and you still love him. So why can't you be just friends for now? is there a way you move in with him after you graduate?
When I graduate next summer and when I find a job, I would like to move out and live with him.
yeah exactly, I don't want to be just friends, I am finding it very difficult and it is hurting me. We can't be together right now either because of his selfishness, that's it.
I guess that's all we can do just be friends now.
It's just if he finds someone else later this year or something, it just feels like I never got that chance
"He did not contact me because he did not want to bother me and I am here wanting to contact him, but didn't think I should because I felt like I was contacting him too much. wow. "
there is no "contacting too much' for a lion in love. unless he is busy with something else, or under pressure, he will always want to hear your voice or spend time with you. you said it yourself, all the nice gestures he is in love. if he is angry, like I thought he was angry to you, of course you need to wait it until he settles down.
"He wants to also know if there's that chance of after graduation and getting back together."
"When I graduate next summer and when I find a job, I would like to move out and live with him."
Ok, so you do want to move in with him after you graduate. Not sure if you told him this, but you should. He wants you, more than just friends. He is just frustrated of the living arrangements. As long as you show that you do intend to move in with him after graduation, he will know you still love him. That's the thing with us, if we 're in love, we could get to the extreme. Passion drives us and we can't stand being apart, even for a few days. Sometimes the same passionate flame manifests in temperamental behavior. Because we feel that we are restricted from being with the one we love and get angry of it.
He's been hurt before, he is probably thinking that he is not meant to be lucky in love. First he was hurt (you said by more than one girls leaving him) and now he has all his hopes for you and him, but then the living arrangements come in between. So you can see, one obstacle after another.
Don't get too emotional or sensitive about his demands and roars. Deep inside he is only a cat Being friends, doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore or will drop you if he finds someone else. He is frustrated, and he actually said he is selfish. because he feels it is selfish to demand so much of you, but he can't help it. If he doesn't love you, he won't bother about living arrangements. In fact he wouldn't want you to move in with him, if he doesn't love you. Just give him time, his frustration will sort out. But keep communication open, this way he knows you love him too, and care enough to make contacts. If you don't keep it open, he may think you don't feel the same anymore, he will then find someone else.
Well, he just wants me to finish school so I can get that out of the way and find a job. He knows that I do want to move in with him because I am attending a new school this fall and its only like 5 mins from his place, I could always stay with him and its more convenient. It might be difficult to stay over but I think I can figure out a way when the time comes. Yeah, I talked to a few people and I thought about it 2 ways:
I know how he is and I feel like he does really care about me, it is just how he is (I know how he is!). Certain people don’t understand it like with friends I talk to about it bc he has such a distinct personality, very fixed in his ideas and opinions. With the living arrangement, he says he gets upset whenever I have to leave and can’t stay. He told me it drives him crazy. He doesn’t show it, but it makes him nuts. He feels he shouldn’t be restricted to see me. Like he should be entitled to see me whenever he wants….So I guess that is why he can’t be with me at the moment.
The other way I see it is that if he can’t sacrifice his selfishness to be with me, then he is not worth it, but at the same time I am not being understanding of him. But I feel like he isn’t being very understanding with me and my efforts to be with him. (Nothing is keeping us apart from being together the only thing is him, him and his selfishness bc he doesn’t get to see me as much as he wishes, I think it’s ridiculous, I feel like I rather pick to see someone and be with them then not at all. But that is how he is.) I feel like his selfishness will make him lose me….
Actually this March we are going to take a trip to Austin for the weekend because his friends are playing a concert. I am not quite sure, but I intend on after the trip to let him know, I can’t see him no more. I can’t be his friend because it is too painful for me. He can of course contact me, but seeing him it is hard because whenever I see him we act as if we are together. I can’t do that if he is not willing to be with me. It should only be friends period. Nothing else.
I still want him in my life and I want him to know that I won’t just leave him like everyone else did in the past. Basically, I want to prove myself to him, the only way is time and being there. It just seems like theres no compromise right now, basically we are just hanging there now b/t being friends but not really. I guess you can say friends with benefits, although I don’t want to say it that way, but it is that way. He can’t control himself when he is around me, I can control myself, but I want him just as badly. Lol! I know I set myself up for disappointment. I just think being friends will hurt more in the long run.
He said its all wrong timing.
“and he actually said he is selfish. because he feels it is selfish to demand so much of you, but he can't help it”
Exactly what he said! He said he feels like he shouldn’t have to compete because I have so many other priorities school, work, and family that I have do now.
I just cannot decide if we should remain friends or not, I guess we can talk just not see each other if so group settings with ppl in b/t us (haha!). Of course the chance in the future is always there, I mean anything can happen b/t then, but that chance/possibility is always there. I am headed towards being friends, talking and what not. If we are alone go out to eat or something..and that’s it. But everytime we do that he wants a hug and I cannot say no and it turns out to be a really intense hug! >.<
Also, I haven’t told him I loved him yet, but I know I do. I probably won’t say anything, I do not know if he feels the same way. It would just make things more complicated, and I do not plan on saying anything. I am pretty sure he knows how I feel by now.
He told me he has never been in love before, only one time and she was a friend from elementary and had passed away awhile ago. But as far as everyone he has dated, he said he has been in 4 relationships that he considered serious and they all ended the same way. I highly doubt he would ever tell me he loves me first, unless I did first hahah! It has almost been 6 months I am glad so bc well he’s never been passed 6 months w/ anyone. So it would be a big deal for him.
This week was good/bad, I almost thought we were back together. =/
Anyways, thanks again for your insight! It is wonderful to get such great feedback and hear someone else perspective. It helps out so much. I appreciate it very much.
I had asked him to hang out today, but he said no. I wanted to see a movie but he said he didn't want to see that one and there's nothing else out. So i asked if he want to still hang out and he said no. I think he just needed a break from seeing me this week. I am glad he doesn't ever make stupid excuses like ohhh I can't bc i have blah blah. He just flat out says no. Like if he doesn't want to he says no, if yes then yes.
"He just flat out says no. Like if he doesn't want to he says no, if yes then yes. "
well of course. why said yes, if it's a no. he is not hiding anything, why should he make excuses?
I don't know, just people make up excuses sometimes.....but yeah.
No offense Alexi but you need to look at your own sun sign. Its not all the Leo's fault. Gemini's can be pushy and assertive too, when they want something. I dated a Gemini male for a long time and he got on my nerves. He was always asking me "why?" "Why do you like me?" "Why do you want to be with me?" etc. Also, he was also very demanding of my time. He said, you're my girlfriend, you need to see me on a regular basis. Gemini's are very inquisitive and frankly, it got on this Leo's nerves. So make sure you are not bugging him Alexi. You can't have everything your way. You are young, you still live with your family. He's a grown man with real problems.
Unless someone is a complete turn off or they completely hurt us, Leo's never let go. We like to keep our options open and we remain friends with are lovers usually. So just give him some space, play hard to get, get your Gemini impulsiveness under control and everything will probably work out. You are a Gemini, so you'll probably get bored with him soon enough anyway!
Hi Leonessa, yeah right now at the moment I'm just keeping chill and giving us both space actually. I decided to give it a couple of weeks and let it go with the flow. thanks.
"Also, I haven’t told him I loved him yet, but I know I do. I probably won’t say anything, I do not know if he feels the same way. It would just make things more complicated, and I do not plan on saying anything. I am pretty sure he knows how I feel by now. "
yeah he knows how you feel funny that he is not verbal when it comes to saying I love You, but my guess is he already said it by his actions, so pretty much his actions already say it I don't know his rising (there is no birth time) so I can't tell much about him more than I already wrote on pg 1. Anyway, nothing you can do now than go with the flow. because that's how the living arrangement is the problem.