The truth about Scorpios
I have been wondering because I hear 2 different (and opposite) things about Scorpios.
One is: They are so scared of falling in love and being hurt that they need reassurance in order to give all of themselves
Contradiction: They want someone who is not readily available to them and is a challenge.
Now, my predicament is that I broke up with my Scorpio guy...probably one of those things where you kind of push someone away to see how much they care (although I had reasons to feel he was not appreciating me). So now......we talked and I explained as much as I could in the small amount of time we had as to why I acted how I did (and admitted being wrong for exploding like that and ending it when he had no idea what was going on in my head).... So he was COMPLETELY shocked of how I acted (it was over texting)..........
Sooooo..my question is do I give him time and space to think and miss me?.......Or do I need to let him know constantly that I am here and wating for him to get over the situation...let him know how much i care and miss him....or play it cool and wait for him to be ready and come around....
He ignores my calls and texts and he did say he was gonna take some time away....but I get the urge to text him and let him know that I still want him or I am thinking about him...without getting mad that he does not respond....I have not been doing that ..only did it for 2 days after the separation...........
Any advice...Scorps? Or Anyone ...Thanks!
i hear you! i have been in on off r. ship w a scorpio /sag man for 5 years. it has been a very rocky road. he can be all loving and sweet and then turn into a monster. he also has diabetes which i think exaserbates everything.
i just broke up with him last night so feeling very fragile at the moment. im not coping anymore with his aggressive behaviour and verbal attacks swearing etc. he was a complete asshole.
i still love and care for him but i will not tolerate that crap from him.
ok the deal is.. i think that yes scorpios do take a very long time to trust , and they are scared of being hurt. being an incredibly sensitive sign they soak up alot of energies around them and they are constantly dealing with that. they believe in intense love in the one true love and they do love deeply and passionately. but if they pick up any signals from you that tell them that you are not feeling it as much as they are or if you have any doubts they will then become hostile and go into self protection mode. this can be very difficult because we al have fears and doubts and other people can take time to trust too. as someone on the receiving end of this it then makes me feel pressured sometimes to feel a certain way and that if i am not consumed by him 110% he will not be there for me. makes me feel anxious because life happens and sometimes he just isnt doing it for me. sometimes ( i said this to him last night) it would be better for him to just love me rather than always seeing how i feel about him.nobody is perfect all the time.
the other side of flip coin and this is where it gets very difficult internally i believe for the scorp is that because they think about everything and feel so much and alot of is physical they do need space to process, to release, to find their core strength again, to observe from a distance. and yes they like a challenge. they want to know that you want them for more than just s.e.x. because i think quite frankly that they prob feel huge pressure to liv up to their hot sexy iimage all the time. they do need time alone. i have never met one scorp who hasnt. there lies the dilemma . so it does feel like all or nothing truly. its like they have to keep going through stuff to get to the truth because they perceive alot of bullshit around thm in this world. but they want you show them how strong you are how you can stand up to their crap. maybe its like they want to meet their match someone who can see as much truth as what they can. thats the challenge.
i also think that being quite independant they dont often want to live by societies rules etc so a conventional r. ship prob freaks them out. but they want love so...
gosh i am rambling on!
i think you just need to keep being truly honest with yourself. if he pisses you off tell him. you need to be very clear as to what you want from the r. ship with him. ask him questions if he isnt coming out and telling you. ask him what he wants. if you want him to stop a certain behaviour tell him. tell him what you would like from him. ask him if he is prepared to do that. be clear and firm but without anger. be open to receiving an answer you would like.
sounds to me like the ignoring your calls is him doing the sting thing because you hurt him. it is possible that he was subconsiously wanting space from you but ..ok another thing i want to say- scorps being very loyal dont like to think they are letting people down- especially when they do care about you-so they find it difficult to be assertive sometimes and be clear themselves and self aware to tell you they need space. so they will be an asshole until you have done the work for them ( telling them to f. off :breaking up) that way they dont have to feel responsible for you while they are going thru whatever they are going thru.
p.s if you wanna go and see him go and see him. i wouldnt bother with the phoning stuff.deep down he prob knows he has been a d.ick and is seeing how far your passions lie how much you feel what lengths you will go to. be yourself.
Hey Girlie pies!
Whew, talk about facing the music!!!!
I'm a Scorp girl, married, 2 teens wth my Scorp hubbby...
O man, yes, you speak the truth.
Oh yah, usually best, IMO, to let Scorps be...we come around!
This post is deleted!
Thank you very much for sharing your experience and for all the advice and insight...You have so many good points...seems you have a pretty accurate view of some of the Scorpio aspects. Its good that you try and inderstand your partner so much....I think he should do the same with you...does he? I don't think the yelling and disrespect should be tolerated by you however..because will that ever stop? ....I also think the other planets...especially the Moon have alot to do with relationships and behavior....maybe your guys Moon sign is a tough one because my Scorp has a pretty logical way of sorting his feelings out (rather than losing his temper or raising his voice)...and of course upbringing and other aspects in our life can affect...like you say his medical condition...that can be very frustrating.
See...it really sucks what I did because the relationship was just starting to blossom....I feel like I killed a beautiful thing. Him and I get along so well...that was the problem though...I was up all night with him during the weekdays talking and laughing...and ya know ;)....and I was walking around like a zombie with no sleep...Sooo...I kept hinting to him how much sleep I was losing and I thought maybe he would try to come over earlier during the week ....but he would keep saying all the stuff he had to do or did before he finally got to come relax for the night. BUT...my issues were that because he never TOLD me his feelings or where he wanted the relationship to go...and all that....I kind of felt like he did not care about me getting sleep and that he was taking me for granted. I told pretty much expressed this to him when we talked in person the next day ...he said I hurt his feelings (i was surprised to hear this from him)..and that he was so stressed the whole day after waking up to see I had sent him those messages (breaking it off)...that he could not even eat.
I did not want to end it so I dont know why I did really...but, I thought it was something he would get over quickly as I do things because there was no betrayal of any kind...of course not every operates like I do...and being a Sagg...we tend to blow up randomly and then get over it fast as well....NOT SCORPIOS THOUGH!
Shorty: Thank you thank you!....I really do love my Scorps. I will give him the time and space as you said I should....I was confused and thought that maybe I acted too emotional and I should show him the more light hearted side of me so he will come back, butthen I think that if I try to get him back that way he will be insulted thinking I do not take him seriously..
So...I guess I should not be contacting him at all? I want him to know that I am not going to start seeing other people or anything and that I am still open to him....waiting for him...patiently?...Is that the right thing to do...or does he know this already by all of my "im sorry" messages I sent already?
Im going to research those 3 totems as you said.......
This has also been a lesson for me and my communication/holding back feelings issue....So thats the biggest thing I will be working on when he comes back...like you say to tell him what i want and ask him what he want etc etc....I really hope he gives it another chance...
Thats what I am worried about..him just letting what we had go.
There was so much good..and that was the only bad thing that ever happened, so hopefully he will see that it is something we can get through, and that I did this only because I too have a problem trusting people and being vulnerable to my emotions. Scorpio in venus is kind of a difficult position for me because I am a Sag Sun...a bit conflicting.....and he is surrounded by Saggies so almost everything I do he thinks he understands me because of having other close Saggies in his life.
What is your sign? If you are a Cancer, you may be in luck. If not, you should research your compatibility. If it's not in the stars, best to let it go.
I am a Scorpio woman, can't vouch for the men, but this is how it is:
I am completely honest and expect the same in a partner.
Will I tell you everything about me. NO! Do I need to know everything about you. Not necessarily, but I like for what I know to be the truth.
Some of us love our things and even lavish lifestyles, but do not feel the need to keep up with the Jones'. If I really want it, I already have it. I'm probably the worst person in my family to buy for at Christmas.
I am who I am and make no excuses for it. I need to be accepted for me. If you need to change your Scorpio, then you shouldn't be with your Scorpio!
The 3 symbols mentioned above are very important. I am the evolved Scorpio. What type of Scorpio is he?
You say we are not capable of love. NOT TRUE! We indeed bring the unconditional to the word LOVE, if we love you. That's why I asked if you are a Cancer. It's probably the most compatible combination in the zodiac. Forgiveness flows between the two. With other people, not so much. We are more like the elephant who never forgets. But we love so much its from great depths, are we extreme? Yes! Is it all or nothing? Probably. If I'm not interested, I'm not about to fake it.
If you pushed him away to make him want you more, I don't know. No one should have to prove themselves to you, this may be a difficult issue for him to get around. I would be asking myself if you would do it to me again.
Doesn't sound like you did anything really nasty. That would be bad.
I don't think you will experience his sting if you apologized and he listened. That need for revenge is like the Scorpio's monkey on their back. The difference in their evolution can be gauged by how they use that retaliatory energy.
Ok I gotta vent!
I'm a girl Scorp.
I've been with a Scotp guy since the moment we (FINALLY-longish story! Lol)
9/9/1989. We met then, had a baby and when I got preggers # 2, he said let's marry!
We did, 10/13/1993.
My point is, we are getting (I pray!) to the end of a hellish 3 yr period. Involving all family members!
We are still here togerther, standing above ground!
Scorps do that.
Love and luck, sweetie!
I don't think I've ever known a Scorpio man. But what you say is so true. That reciprocal loyalty must be a great thing in tough times. No one will defend you to the death more than a Scorpio.
You two will make it through. Good for you!
Sorry, I did miss the part about you being a Sagg. I think I knew a Sagg man once, but he was a Scorpio wannabe. lol. So not. He became jealous, violent, extremely possessive and downright scary. I actually had to quietly sneak out of his life because he would have freaked out if I told him to his face it was over. Don't know how I got off on this story, but seeing you were a Sagg just brought it all back.
SInce there are all these scorpions her talking - mayne I could ask some questions of you all.
First - I am a Pisces with Capricorn Moon and Capricorn/Aquarius RIsing (so close I can have either). I have a very special friend who is a Scorpio. He had a bitter divorce from his exwife, mostly over money that she "embezzeled" from their company and several other things. I am not clear about whether either one of them cheated on the other but I think not. There were other things about her that she did or did not do that I find incredible but highly believable. He has a girlfriend of some sort - he admits to be in a relationship. The funny thing is that I have never met her, he rarely mentions her. When he does he says int under his breath - my gi rl firnd" like he is trying to keep someone from hearing him say the word. If he says her name its way down low so its barely audible. I get this feeling that maybe he likes me a lot but would not say anything about it because of this girlfriend and because he got such a bad deal with his exwife. Also, I am nearing the end of my divorce and I know he would do nothing until that is finalized. He knows that I have feelings for him because I let it slip a couple of time. (I tried to stuff it down because of the reasons above and because I didn't want to lose a friend) He mentioned on the phone a few days ago that he had decided to move back to Florida (all the way across the country). (HE had gone back there for 4 days to help a freind from college move back to the college town where they had live 20 years ago)I can see where that would solve a number of his problems - get him away from the exwife, the girlfirend, let him get started all over again. Its not impossible, but it is kind of a pie- in the sky change from 2 or 3 weeks ago.
Something that I , as a Pisces might do, if I did not have obligations. But he does have his 2 adolescent boys here anf he was talking about how he wanted them to move there with him. That's a whole other child custody arrangement. So I am thinking this is sort of a pie in the sky
fantasy for him. Still, shen he told me that, I tried to stifle a cry but it camee through anyway. He is my very good friend and I would be - I am devastated that he would leave. Especially announcing it in such an abrupt manner. Does this sound typical? He has been incredibly kind to me. I think he expected my divorce to be over by now also and for my exhusband to be out of the picture. He even said he did not want to deal with the issues that would come up if he came over to my house just to visit. Because even if all we were was really good friends , my husband would see it as something else and he didn't want to be caught in that web.
So even if my Scorpio friend doesn't move, I may lose him as a friend anyway ( much less think about having a relationship with him) as long as we love in the same area as my exhusband.
And I thought I was complicated.!
At the very least, he cares for you a great deal as a friend. Scorpio emotions run deep. If he sees it as a moral issue, he will not pursue you until you are divorced. But you being a Pisces, I'm sure he loves you for your compassionate nature. I love all my Pisces and Caps friends. If he is even remotely serious about it, I doubt he would leave before the end of the school year. It's a long way off. As a Scorpio, I would not lie to you just to see your reaction, but had I entertained the thought for a fleeting moment, then I might tell you I was thinking of leaving. It's not so pie-in the-sky, it's more that he has something he's trying to figure out, too. Sometimes our thoughts take flight and become real things, but if he doesn't mention it much, it may not be his true desire. He may even throw something else out there in another month. Keep me up to date. Would love to know how this turns out!
Thankyou Scorpio reader. I hope he doesn't think I am too emotionally unstable because I am such a weepy creature. OMG - I just reread my post above. I have this stupid keyboard with slanted keys so sometimes I make typs but look what I wrote:
"So even if my Scorpio friend doesn't move, I may lose him as a friend anyway ( much less think about having a relationship with him) as long as we * love * in the same area as my exhusband."
SIgmund would like that I suppose. I will keep you posted. We have talked for months now about him building a barn at my house with reclaimed wood. We had to put in an upgraded electrical service which cost us mor than we should have spent ( We should have fixed the leaky bathroom shower first) but my friend did the elctrical service upgrade for me and did it better and for less money because he kept talking about needing the power if I put in a barn.
But now - if he moves - there's not going to be anyone to put in a barn for me. Its just weird.
It blew me away. People do change course and make decisions based on circumstances so I guess, to his credit, he sees an opportunity for him if he moves that is greater than the opportunity if he stays. I wonder if he even knows he kinda of broke my heart (even if we are only just supposed to be friends)
This post is deleted!
Good tidings back atcha, friend!
What do they say? Great minds think alike. lol. I've always known I was a dyed-in-the-wool Scorpio. I think we are onto something here. It's amazing the perception of ourselves and our kindred Scorps that we both share. No, we are not easy to get to know, but to know us is to love us. Not everyone likes us, that's for sure, but they didn't take the time to know who we really are. What's it like in California? I've never been there. I live on the East coast and right now we are in the middle of a blizzard.
While I admit to know little about men, I know about me. Is there a timeframe for your divorce? Is there a reason it is not final? There seems to be some sort of uncertainty here. Perhaps he feels it. Divorced or not, I would not care IF I knew there was no reason to worry about your love for me or your (ex) husband. I wouldn't be trying to get into a relationship with someone I was uncertain about. Wouldn't matter if I thought he was my soulmate. If it didn't feel equally mutual, I would not bother, but I would be your best friend and hope for that day.
TD, we don't share this kind of insight with everyone. Get the divorce. If he loves you, he'll never leave your life as long as he thinks there is hope. Those waters run REALLY deep.
Do get back to us and don't worry about your typos. I understand you.
This post is deleted!
im maybe not in the best space to give you advice right now as it will prob appear one sided.
but you can choose what to do with it.
i think that it its good that you were honest with him but given his reaction he could be unlikely to change. i had the same stuff - the late nights etc being tired, feeling like it was difficult to plan things. maybe i was never assertive enough, i didnt always want to be the one making the plans and decisions.
i doubt he is still hurt. he is just aware of who you are a a bit more now, and has found out that you will tell it like it is. so i would say he is nervous of that, and trying to think of how he will handle it. he will struggle to be the dominant one, if thats what he wants. he is probably also realising that he wont be able to get what he wants with you when he wants it. he did for a while, but now you have stood up to him and he doesnt like it. the irony is that deep down he probably respects you more than he did before, but he would never in a million years let you know that.
i dont know silana. either you keep being yourself and tell him straight like you have , or you change yourself to suit him. either way it wont be an easy ride.
ok. part 2. you see. im losing the plot.
like i said earlier, being a scorp he probably takes a long time to trust. so its possible that he struggles to be assertive for fear of rejection.so thats where you come in to be the assertive one.forget trying to hint with him, he will see it as subtle manipulation, why? because he recognises that in himself and doesnt want you to see that in him. cos then how will he get his needs met? not sure if im making sense anymore. it can get complicated.the trick is to keep calling his bluff. if you want to throw all of this in the bin thats ok cos as you know i broke up with my man 3 nights ago, no sorry nothing. i feel like utter shit right now. words cannot even describe. and how many times have i been here.
the thing is when we broke up the first time i thought that was it, but then he came back. the comeback. so two things then- 1) i accepted him back. so i then unconsciously at the time was displaying that i was ok with the on off thing, that if there was a break and he came back it would be ok 2) i've forgotten . my brain has shut down im sorry.
too hard , my head hurts and my heart even more