Cancer Man and he is confusing - continued



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  • FlowyAir-I've been following your story. My gosh it must be hard to live next door to him! That would drive me insane! In my case I live in a different country -it's the other extreme.

    I posted on the other thread too. I'll keep checking both.



  • Lua> i rather answer here, cause i hate the forum jumps and i think/suggest we should leave the other completely be, cause we create a huge mess with posting here and there too. lets just all post here and let the other go. i think at least it's best.

    so yes, i think Lua you didnt miss that much. this month (i mean january) i've seen him 2 times. once with the friends and once alone. not more... i didnt press it at all tough. i thought if he wants to see me he will... and i freaked out once, sent him a mail about how hurt and sad i felt about us growing apart... and he seemed to understand it and said he is sorry then went back being an a-s-s.

    so what changed in me is that i am not tiptoe-ing anymore around him. if he sends a mail where he is an a-s-s, i answer like that. i talk to the crabs here in the forum, but rather just analyzing than trying to get advice to win him back. i dont want to win him back, if he will want me, he'll come around. i dont want to get involved with any other guy, so im just waiting.

    that is my test towards him... if he will decide that his feelings and the wish to be with me is more important/stronger than his problems/doubts, then he'll come around. if not, then honestly, he is great but not the man i want. 🙂

    harder to do the whole situation than talk about it, but right now im trying to concentrate on myself as much as i can. and make myself happy. tomorrow im checking out a little flat in the city centre (now im living in the outskirts) and im full with plans about a brand new life. 🙂

    time to time i get sad, cause i remember the great times with him, but then again, i rarely let myself think of those moments.



  • Katie>>but right now im trying to concentrate on myself as much as i can. and make myself happy. tomorrow im checking out a little flat in the city centre (now im living in the outskirts) and im full with plans about a brand new life. 🙂

    Lua>>good point, Katie! I think that is a good idea. Concentrate on yourself! Maybe he'll come around and maybe he won't, but the important thing is to think of your own self. In a sense I am doing this too..I have a feeling I am not going to hear from my cancer guy much the next few months. I'm letting him show me signs that he's interested in seeing me again.



  • lua> well sad but i found that as the only way to preserve myself as much as possible happy and fine... i miss him, but i dont let myself miss him...



  • katie-so what are you you doing not to let yourself miss him? Are you still seeing him as a part of your circle of friends?



  • Lua> well in january i saw once with friends, once alone as i told. i havent seen him since 17th of January.... well almost 3 weeks... we never went so long in not seeing each other... but i feel like it is in a way better for me... can take emotional distance from him. the next already FIXED date we have (as a group) is the 18th and the 21st of February, where we have booked table for going out to eat.

    i am honestly really really interested what is gonna happen though, because on the 9th (next tuesday) i have my birthday and he knows it. it will be a big test from my side (i mean silent test) whether he is gonna do something special (apart from the group) or not... it's gonna prove a lot for me... special i dont mean something big or pricy, the smallest personal private thing will tell me a lot.... and the opposite, if he does not do anything too...

    what am i doing? if i would think of him in a romantic, sentimental way, i consciously stop it... and start to do something to occupy myself...



  • katie-so the last time you saw him was the time you told me about, before I left. Your birthday is the same as my father's although he passed away 5 years ago. So I'll be remembering your birthday! I have always got on well with aquas as friends-my best friend in Brazil has his birthday tomorrow, but somehow as bf's they never work out.

    Just got an email from my cancer guy. He said he messed up on his flight but passed his evaluation. I guess I didn't distract him too much. He wants to know when I can come to Manila again, I guess he wants to see me again, good sign.



  • Lua>Just got an email from my cancer guy. He said he messed up on his flight but passed his evaluation. I guess I didn't distract him too much. He wants to know when I can come to Manila again, I guess he wants to see me again, good sign.

    Katie> never wanna scream away with a cancer, but really good sign. 🙂 happy for you! wish mine wanted to see me too... maybe he is insecure and waiting for me to offer a meeting... i just dont feel the strenght right now to offer anything...

    Lua> katie-so the last time you saw him was the time you told me about, before I left. Your birthday is the same as my father's although he passed away 5 years ago. So I'll be remembering your birthday!

    Katie> yes, the last time i saw him was before you went to Manila... funny no? and we leave 4 districts away in the same city... whatever. wow, your dad's birthday is the same date? really great coincidence. 🙂 sorry he is not around anymore. 😞

    i get along good with leos too. 🙂 (as you see LOL) i told you earlier one of my (ex)best friends was a Leo. 🙂



  • Hi Luazinha!

    I have actually been following your story too. 🙂 It seems like your Cancer does have feelings for you and he is hooked he always come back to you. He seems to be the type of Cancer though that likes his freedom coming and going as he choses - that can be difficult to endure. I would find that hard to deal with, but Cancer's I realize are very contradictive in the sense they are homebodies - yet they like do their "own" thing such as hobbies, traveling, work,etc.



  • Hi Katie 🙂

    I just noticed your Birthday is the 9th I think you asked me once before, mine is the 11th - close huh?

    I was thinking about your situation today and I remember you mentioning your Cancer saying something in the past like he wouldn't be good for you. I'm not exactly sure of the wording. However, I was thinking (just a theory - I know another one ughhh) that maybe when you were in a committed relationship and he felt this strong attraction to you maybe he felt it was safe to have a relationship with you as he knew you couldn't be fully his at the time. ( I know it is contradictive but so are Cancers at times) So once you got out of the other relationship suddenly he realized nothing was in the way now of a full fledged committment and he got scared - thus protecting himself by not furthering the emotional/physical feelings he has for you as this makes him more vulnerable. So he kept you from his pad, distanced and stopped relations.. So it could be that he is actually stalling due to his own insecurities/issues and it has little to do with you. Even if he is harboring some guilt to his former friend for seeing you while you were committed I just don't feel that is the entire reason - it doesn't seem to totally justify it as your ex is out of the country! Unless, because of the furniture he feels uneasy, but I still think there may be more to this strictly regarding his own relationship hangups.

    So how are you today? I am feeling a bit better today. I appreciate all the advice I got yesterday on here and today I got somemore on another thread and I found Keldjoran and Lawdaug's advice to be VERY HELPFUL! Thank God for the Cancers that contribute to this posts! 😛

    I was sad though and read through our old emails last night and this morning and it made me feel close to him again - I know I shouldn't... I didn't cry though which is better. I did notice his blinds are completely shut though so I feel kinda shut out completely and wonder if he doesn't miss me anymore enough to even watch me... 😞



  • FlowyAir,

    I know what you are going through. The confusion, the hurt, the anger, the fear, tears, etc.

    I've been following your story for a while now, tonight just have to respond. Me and my cancer is in a good place right now. I now understand him better due to the wonderful people on tarot.com.

    I don't want to give you false hope, but i've been in the same position you are now. Only difference i didn't live with my ex husband when i met my cancer guy.

    There were months of no contact from his side ..... more than five months to be exact.

    He never told me it's over... not responded to anything from my side. The moment it seems i have moved on.. he was back. I can tell you he was not sure whether i will go back to ex. Although not say it directly. He was like, "i can't tell you what to do, if you want to be with your husband, be with him. If you want to be with me, be with me" When i told him my divorce is almost final, i could hear in his voice he is happy about it.

    Months ago when i was heartbroken, i found peace on the original of this very same thread. We were a bunch of ladies in the same position. Our mama of the group, Cappy2 , introduced us to the pendulum. If you go back to the original thread at page 53 and 54 you will find how to use a pendulum. Its real easy to use and i can assure you its working!!!

    I still use mine, my answers are right one every single time. Cappy used to do pendulum questions for the girls... sometimes cross checking answers we were getting. As for now, i know of three of us that every answer pendy was giving came true.

    I helped me regain my power and i am pretty sure it will help you too.

    I can only talk about my personal experience plus a few of my friends on here that had the same experience. When they done, they will tell you. My advise to you would be, get a place of your own if possible at all. Get your divorce...... take it one step at a time. Try and live your live.

    Fake it until you make it. I am positive that's not the end of that specific cancer man.

    I'll be checking on any news.

    By the way..... the other ladies from the crazy cancer club, as we use to call it, added each other on FB. You welcome to join me .... taureengirl brits.

    Wishing you love and light.

    PS: I can do pendulum questions too, if you are interested.



  • FlowyAir: Hi Katie 🙂 I just noticed your Birthday is the 9th I think you asked me once before, mine is the 11th - close huh?

    katie: hi flowyair!!! yes, my birthday is on the 9th. cool we are sooo close to each other. damn we are living so far away, we could celebrate together. LOL

    FlowyAir: I was thinking about your situation today and I remember you mentioning your Cancer saying something in the past like he wouldn't be good for you. I'm not exactly sure of the wording.

    Katie: the exact wording was: 'i dont deserve you, you deserve much much better.' and hey, so nice you are thinking about my situation. 🙂

    FlowyAir: However, I was thinking (just a theory - I know another one ughhh) that maybe when you were in a committed relationship and he felt this strong attraction to you maybe he felt it was safe to have a relationship with you as he knew you couldn't be fully his at the time. ( I know it is contradictive but so are Cancers at times)

    katie: we were not together yet, before i broke up. i was definitely breaking up when we got together. but probably he wanted me for so long so much, that when the light turned green, he took me without thinking how he will be able to deal with certain things later...

    FlowyAir: So once you got out of the other relationship suddenly he realized nothing was in the way now of a full fledged committment and he got scared - thus protecting himself by not furthering the emotional/physical feelings he has for you as this makes him more vulnerable. So he kept you from his pad, distanced and stopped relations.. So it could be that he is actually stalling due to his own insecurities/issues and it has little to do with you.

    Katie: i can very much believe that this is the situation. going back to the thought of what we talked about once. him being so far from his family, living alone, having almost no real friends... etc... so imagine, he built those big walls, feels secure inside and then i come along... and he is likely to pushed out of his balanced security... definitely not easy.

    FlowyAir: Even if he is harboring some guilt to his former friend for seeing you while you were committed I just don't feel that is the entire reason - it doesn't seem to totally justify it as your ex is out of the country! Unless, because of the furniture he feels uneasy, but I still think there may be more to this strictly regarding his own relationship hangups.

    Katie: i dont really believe that the issue is really his guilt about my ex... they were not such good friends and he was always on the opinion that our realtionship is not okay (and he didnt tell that for his own reasons). really, rather his own issues. but it does not really help me to know that, cause that is a battle i cant fight instead of him... he has to do that alone.

    flowyAir: So how are you today? I am feeling a bit better today.

    Katie. im more or less okay. im keeping my head above water. 🙂 im happy to hear you are better. tomorrow is flat check!!! keep your fingers crossed. LOL



  • Taureengirl: first of all let me say im so happy when i hear about a positive outcome in a cancer story. 🙂 and what you wrote: fake it till you make it... it is so true. that is what im trying to do now. sometimes works, sometimes not that much.



  • Omg, I just lost a very well thought out post to Taureengirl! 😞 Uggghh

    I guess I'll have to do the best I can and retype it a little later.



  • Katie1982, i know what you saying about sometimes it doesn't work.

    Believe me, i have cried myself to sleep for many many weeks. If it wasn't for this forum and the support of many other in the same position, i don't know how it would have gone through all of it.

    I going to recap on your story... ..

    Love and light to you



  • taureengirl: it will be hard to recap on my story, since it is shared on all the threads, including the scorp thread where i go to talk to cancers i know. LOL

    but shortly. my story is a bit similar to FlowyAir's except that i was not married i was in a 5 year long relationship living with a guy from another country. he is away now 2000 kms back home.

    i knew my crab for 6 months already the time when we got together. we had a certain sparkle from the very beginning but i was involved with my ex. (we all belonged to the same friend circle - bad omen). so we started to email and meet secretly, but stayed on a friend-ish level until i broke up. first month was amazing, but complicated because my ex was still staying with me (took time to arrange going home). after a month because of a small misunderstanding crab backed off, im assuming he started to realize how deep feelings he has... so he pulled back, he did not disappear on me ever though. we just havent met so often as before he stopped saying he misses me etc.

    so that is how we are sailing around now. not meeting a lot, actually less and less. i pulled back for like 5 weeks already. i think he feels it and tries to pull me back (not to aggressively though). im totally messed up, one day thinking i should just completely quit, then again i love him and i cant. so im kind of waiting out...

    thats all in short. you can read around but not sure you can find enough info to put the puzzles together. so feel free to ask if there is anything more you wanna know.

    im not crying that much lately, cause i stopped expecting things from him. i just try to take it as it comes. and yes, this forum is my absolute savior. 🙂



  • Hi Taureengirl!

    First off Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! For taking to the time to read, follow and offer your experience and advice to me. 🙂 I am very interested in your story and will take the time to famaliarize myself with it.

    I have been busy at work and tried to respond earlier to you, then I lost a detailed post and then another one in this thread this is my 3rd attempt. Fingers crossed!!

    Taureengirl: I know what you are going through. The confusion, the hurt, the anger, the fear, tears, etc.

    FlowyAir: Yes, the Pain, Anguish, Uncertainty - the blow to my selfworth! Oh yes, and the Confusion, Hurt, Anger and Fear. The funny thing is in one of my earliest email exchanges between him & myself when we were talking about ending relationships - I told him I would never blindside someone I cared about. I also told him I hated uncertainty.... Hmmm. Who knows how he looks at it though maybe like he is not ending it for good - I don't know...

    Taureengirl: Me and my cancer is in a good place right now. I now understand him better due to the wonderful people on tarot.com. He never told me it's over... not responded to anything from my side. The moment it seems i have moved on.. he was back. I can tell you he was not sure whether i will go back to ex. Although not say it directly. He was like, "i can't tell you what to do, if you want to be with your husband, be with him. If you want to be with me, be with me" When i told him my divorce is almost final, i could hear in his voice he is happy about it.

    FlowyAir: I'm so happy you have had a positive outcome in your personal experience. You deserve it! I haven't had a chance to read your original post, but I did read one of your threads - the one where he came back suddenly after 5 months like nothing ever happened. I'm very interested and will be going back to read all I can on your story. 🙂

    Yes, I am really grateful to the outpouring of support and advice I have gotten on this site! It is awesome. 🙂 Especially from people such as yourself that have comparable stories and share thier experiences. I have found the people on this site to be very intuitive, experienced and analytical.

    Taureengirl: I still use mine, my answers are right one every single time. Cappy used to do pendulum questions for the girls... sometimes cross checking answers we were getting. As for now, i know of three of us that every answer pendy was giving came true.

    I helped me regain my power and i am pretty sure it will help you too.

    FlowyAir: I will definitely give it a try! It sounds very interesting - I haven't had a chance to read up on it yet, but I will as soon as I can today. Thank you for suggesting this to me - I'm always open to try new things.

    Taureengirl: PS: I can do pendulum questions too, if you are interested.

    FlowyAir: Yes, I would be very interested in your guidance on this especially to check against my own answers. Thanks for offering.

    Taureengirl: I can only talk about my personal experience plus a few of my friends on here that had the same experience. When they done, they will tell you. My advise to you would be, get a place of your own if possible at all. Get your divorce...... take it one step at a time. Try and live your live.

    FlowyAir: Yes, your advice is well taken. I agree I need to clear my head right now and take the Cancer guy out of the equation as hard as that seems to be right now. (everytime I see him outside it reopens the wound again) I have to do me. Plain and simple. I just hate not knowing - I'm a planner uncertainty I try to avoid at all costs... Its a killer, haha, but what can I do I refuse to let him go from my heart and mind - I love him.

    Taureengirl: Fake it until you make it. I am positive that's not the end of that specific cancer man.

    I'll be checking on any news.

    FlowyAir: I like that saying alot - it's catchy! I think I will keep that in my mind.

    Taureengirl: By the way..... the other ladies from the crazy cancer club, as we use to call it, added each other on FB. You welcome to join me .... taureengirl brits.

    FlowyAir: Yes, I'll look you up on Facebook later. Is that your real FB account?

    I just hope he feels the same way about me that I feel about him. I believe he loves me too - he told me he did atleast and I felt it when in his company. I don't feel he just said it either - he's not like that. A little over a month ago after one of our last times together the next morning I seen him turn around and look over at my house with such a warm look of affection on his face - (his face shows his emotions very easily.) I just hope he is not able to get rid of or just bury his feelings for me - I guess if it is true love he will come back to me I hope. I truly feel we had a soul mate experience based on syncronology, birthdates 11,11 and just the light we see in each others eyes and the energy and the strong feeling of being drawn to one another - I hope he continues to feel drawn to me. I know I am feeling it for him. I just can't understand how he could disengage from me (not even talking this last indefinite withdrawal, but rather previous ones for a few days here and there).

    I have a hard time disengaging, I tell you if I didn't find this site to explain that withdrawals are in Cancer's nature I would have went crazy by now and taken it even more personal than what I have.

    Well Taureengirl, I look forward to talking to you again. Oh btw, how is post divorce going for you?



  • Taureengirl,

    I just found this forum yesterday, but this thread caught my eye. I started reading from the beginning. I felt I knew all the women like Cappy2. I could've written all this stuff myself. Where are all the originals? Still with Cancers?

    I would love to know. I have one of those Cancer man stories to end all Cancer man stories. i rolled everyone's posts into one and thought I was reading my own biography.


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