I'm going on a date this Wednesday...

  • I am a 49 year old woman who hasn't had much success with my love life. I've been married twice, divorced twice and had a live in relationship that ended badly. I've been pretty much single and on my own for the last 19 years althought I did meet someone back in 2006 and that relationship ended on New Year's Day of this year {2008}.

    I didn't have the energy to get back into the dating game right away due to my insecurity of always picking the 'wrong' man. As the title says, I'm going on a date this Wednesday and I'm not certain that I made the right choice in accepting. I live in an upstairs part of a house in a village and last year, this couple moved into the downstairs portion of the house. They weren't married but now -a-days that isn't very important to landlords. Anyways, in January the couple broke up and she moved out and he (Kevin) stayed but his brother moved in with him to help share expenses. Neither one of them had a formal job... so eventually after 3 months of not paying rent or utilities, the landlord kicked them out and the both moved to Cleveland (an hour from where I live) to be nearer other family members.

    A couple days ago Kevin was at the gas station where I work to fill his car up and we got to talking... catching up sort-to-speak. He always was very easy to talk with and always treated me kind and with respect. He even helped me get my car unstuck from the snowdrifts in the driveway several times during last winter. There was even a couple times when I would be getting home from working a late shift and he'd come out the backdoor as I was walking down the sidewalk towards my stairway leading up to my apartment and he'd have a bowl or plate of something he cooked up for me to eat so I wouldn't have to cook. I felt very grateful and never hesitated to let him know how much his thoughtfulness touched me.

    Anyways, we talked for about 10 minutes and then he had to leave but he showed up the next day too 'just to talk'. After a few minutes he asked me if I ever found "Mr Right" yet and I said no, not having very much luck with that but I'm not giving up hope and he asked me what I thought the problem was and I told him that after being on my own for so long, I'm kind of set in my ways and I have very little tolerance for 'meanness' in any form or manner. All of a sudden he blurts out..."look, do you want to go out with me?" and without even taking the time to think it through I responded with a hasty "Yes." He then asked me what kind of food I enjoyed and I told him unfortunately I enjoy ALL types of food but seafood is my favorite so he said how about we go out to Red Lobster next Wednesday evening and I said that sounded like a wonderful plan.

    Now that I've had time to think it through, I'm not so sure I made the right decision. This man is jobless, claims he is disabled and that's why he can't work and there's always so much drama & trauma in and around his life and I have had a lifetime of drama & trauma that I no longer wish to walk that path anymore. I am really torn about this you guys... I don't want to hurt him by telling him I changed my mind but on the other hand, I have to be true to myself... right?!?!




  • YES - go out with him - don't pay for his dinner! he pays - or go dutch - 🙂

    This sounds like the universe is putting this man in your life for a reason - even if just to help you find your way and to help you see that you are a wonderful woman with lots to give to the right person - start with the goal of just being friends with this guy -

    NEVER give or loan him money - enjoy a meal, companionship

    & go into it with the attitude that You Are a Person of Worth - not as a victim or lonely woman! LOL

    good luck sweetheart 🙂

  • Thank you Redtail... you're right, just by accepting the date and actually going out - I'm shifting the energy around me to something new & exciting. I hadn't thought about it that way. And I like your 'going dutch' idea. Thanks for responding to my post!!!

  • Hi, I wouldn't worry about tomorrow because you all are already friends. You might want to think of it as more of getting together, not a date. You don't have to make any commitments. You may want to suggest something less expensive though. Because he is jobless it's more practical. You might feel a little more at ease.

  • That is such a romantic story. You know just when you are not looking, or even thinking about it, there it is. Please go and enjoy the company over a nice dinner.

  • He didn't ask you to be in a relationship or to marry him, so why stress about something that may not happen, Go and enjoy after all he is not a stranger. Don't take on his problems if he said red lobster then go to the red lobster maybe he think you are worth the effort and money, which you are. let him handle his own $$, let him pay for the meal don't insult the man he asked you out let him be a man, give him that until he prove otherwise

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