How to fall out of love with a cancer man
Lawdawg...ok, so your telling me...basically to give up. and that if i continue to feel this way or if anything was to escalate between me and my cancer man - he'd be running for the hills...?
Great!! that makes me feel so special...lol
I would never want him to change, i love his whole package...he's sincere, hilarious, fun to be with, sarcastic...and he's complicated. if i feel the way i feel for him now, i don't want anything to change...but, the bottom line is i need to stop...give up and pull myself back from him.
I appreciate all your advice...thank you
Happy Birthday to you llindieloo; not sure if it passed or coming!
It was the 31st , but thank you for you wishes . x
ok, just to vent for a minute...
i'm going back to work tomorrow...took a few days off. i see my cancerian...i'm more concerned with that then i am work...lol
i have a game plan, i need to push him away i'll be cordial and say my good mornings...but, i'm going to get myself together let myself be the first priority and see what goes on. i can't play games...i'm a woman who knows what i want. i want him...however, it's pretty clear he doesn't feel the same. so i'm moving on...watch, i say this now - once i see him i'll melt and back to square one......
Hey, nobody's saying give up. But you must be aware that the more you put your feelings out there the harder it will be if he does not reciprocate. He knows you are interested. So, logically if he wants there to be something between you he would make some type of move. He's holding back... All I'm saying is that's a bad sign from a cancer.
When a cancer holds back it because they are either afraid of getting hurt themselves OR they haven't seen enough to make them interested in the chase. The reason I said to ignor him was to spice up the game. To give you a little mystery. You don't have to play mad, just indifference. Make him think something is going on with you. If you are always there to laugh with and joke with that's what you will be to him.
Another piece of advice. I have been around a long time now and I have never gotten involved with a co-worker. I cannot tell you how many times these types of relationships go bad. He could be protecting his job as I surely would in his position. Also, it has been my experience that when a job romance goes bad, it's usually the woman that is let go. Just something to think about.
Thank you lawdawg - i know, i've always been told never get involved with a co-worker...i've seen what has happened with friends and co-workers.
I just got caught up in a bad situation...bad meaning...i never thought i'd feel the way i do for him...i can honestly say i fell hard. however i've also seen the movie "he's just not that into you" enough times to know that if he wanted something...something would have happened.
It started 8 months ago when we had to work on a project together...it started with flirting..a few months of flirting then one day it led to a kiss...on a few occassions we've kissed. i was wrong for not saying anything about it...i just went with the flow. so basically there was no chase...i caved to easily...now I know it's time to move on. it just hurts...because i'm not that person who lets her guard down so easily and when i did - this is what i get.
i'm sorry i'm going on and on...but - thank you, really thank you! i'll come back tomorrow and fill ya in if there's any updates.
Hi, I read all the posts, I think your Cancer man is not in love with you, but he likes that you are in love (why not?), something is holding him back, probably some fear, may be he will be interested if you not only play indifference but really become indifferent. You have to pull your anergy back to yourself and believe me he will be interested, cause he likes your anergy, but he doesn't want to give back, because you are giving it a lot for free...lol... So hold it back and keep it... and may be you will see some results or may be not, just leave him, don't keep his image in your mind, become free and may be then you will have him or may be not... I think this is the only chance you have... Good luck !
well lets just say i'm in a bad place...my cancer man was in a MOOD today...ugh! work is getting to him..and as much as i help him he seemed to have taken it out on me.
i'm terribly upset with how today went...the first day of me seein him in a week. i've cried thinking he's pushing himself away...i know it's inevitable, but it saddens me. i'm so hung up on him and even when he's not the most approahing person one would think i'd be better at getting over him....wrong! i just hate, HATE that i let my guard down with him...that's what kills me....
well i guess it's just gonna take some time...as they say "time is the ultimate healer"
aquagrrl82> I can relate to your story, my cancer man is higher up than me, has chased me for almost a year. I let my guard down too, but when I run from him, he chases me until he gets me gain... right now he is mad at me b/c i told him i have moved on. what gives. stay strong, they get their claws into you, and got I still havent gotten him to release! i get mad at him and everything, it does no good!
wickedmoon...what gives...lol what is it with these cancer men? it's so frustrating and hurtful...i'm trying to stay strong but it's so hard. how can one person make me so happy and at the same time so angry....ugh! you stay strong too!!
Well here we go again with these Cancer men, Im trying so hard to distance myself emotionally from him, becaz I tried to do it physically and it didnt work. I promise myself i wont tell him any more for about a month or so how I feel to see if he notices. ive got to try I feel the same as you never been love with a guy like this damn cancer guy. I feel im mgetting alittle stronger now, I write emails to my self telling myself what I should do and Im really frank with myself in my emails. I then put these emails in a folder mark diary and read it back to me. My goal is not to tell him how I feel for a month, I wont tell him I miss him or i love him or nothing and even if he tells me im not going to respond, LawDawg what do u thinbk?
dorluv - i feel you...i'm trying the emotional pull - back now, it's so hard and sad. i cry, i hate the way i feel almost wish i never got caught up.
good luck to you..you're doing better than me thus far
Ok ladies. Here's it is. Now there are players in the zodiac (i.e. Sag, Aries). There are lovers in the zodiac (i.e. Pisces, Leo). And there are strong and determined men (i.e. Taurus, Scorpio). So why so many threads about poor Cancer??? Well I will tell you. No sign falls so deeply in love and no sign can share that love on as deep of an emotional level as Cancer.
Now that being said, you ladies have to realize that everything you have said Cancers have done to you have been done to woman a thousand times by the before mentioned male signs! So why is it so different with Cancer. Well, once you crack open that shell all of that juicy tender meat is available to be devoured. So it not that they are any worst than the other signs, it's just that to lose them is to lose a love that hard to replace. Now, I will get off my soap box and answer Dorluv's question.
You must be careful with playing games with the Cancer male. You can avoid him, withhold love from him, and any other form of punishment. He MAY come running to you for an explanation and pine away at this lost. But you must know why he is acting the way he is before playing your game. Remember Cancers protect themselves by going into their shell. It is quite likely that he will sacrifice his love for you to protect his heart. He will convince himself that you never really loved him anyway because if you did you could never do such a thing to him.
So only withhold love if he is withholding love. If he is simply in a mood, live with it. Cancers are moody. That's one of their drawbacks. They are moody because they read put downs into some of the most harmless statements. "Like, you should have called me night". Instead of thinking she likes me and really wanted to hear from me, he hears "In order to be with me you need to toll the line and keep me happy". Thus, instance mood change and distance. Sorry ladies there is no cure for this, only learning to choose you words and approach carefully. Act as if you are talking to a grown-up child that has been bullied his whold life and you will have the right tone and just enough sympathy in you voice.
One last thing. If you get a good cancer man to love you, he will love you for life. No cheating, no lying, no vice. He will shower you with all he has and attempt to pick the stars from the sky to shine on you when he's away. So if it's really love you are looking for he worth the work.
lawdawg: hi and sorry if im gonna trouble you with a question too, but im curious. about my state only shortly that i am/was (cant really decide anymore if it is just 'was') together with a cancer guy, first month was great (really clingy and attached to me, at least thats how it seemed) then he pulled back. he never disappeared on me, but he definitely took some steps backwards.
my question is: is there any possible way to know whether he lost interest or he is just dealing with some with me related or unrelated trouble?
You can tell if it's you by being affectionate, loving and demonstrative. If he accept these gestures but still acts distance, it's something bigger than just you. If he rejects these gestures, he is upset with you for some real or perceived wrong.
Normally if all is well he should break out in a big round smile and everything should be ok.
hi again lawdawg! thank you for your reply. it makes me feel a bit more hopeful. he does not only accept my gestures, but he initiates them too. ok, i've never 'talked' to you before and i could ask so many other questions, but wont trouble you with that now. but very much thanks for the insight.
about the big round smile. he has a big round smile when he is around me alone/in group of friends. but lately whenever he held me it was so strange. he always holds me so strong and gives out so big sighs and has such sad eyes... all this gives me the feeling like he would project a message of: 'i so much want to be with you but there is something that does not let me...' dont know if it makes any sense.
Yeah. What's your sign. You seem very intuitive yourself. But with Cancer it can be anything from an unpaid bill to a sick dog or cat. Hard to tell. Do you suspect another woman?
Lawdawg: im an aqua, but not a very typical one. with venus in capricorn and virgo in moon and rising... dont know where it comes from but always felt myself intuitive, very honestly he is the very first person im having troubles with in the sense that i cant really decide whether he is playing with me or not. somehow i feel that he is not, and i have wild guesses what his problems are, but cant be sure.
i dont suspect a certain woman, i mean one single woman.
at the beginning i asked him whether he will see more women while he sees me. he asked me what i want. i told id prefer if he wouldnt, cause i wont see other guys either. he said if i dont want it, then he wont.
i cant think immediately that he is seeing other women, just because he sees me less. if he sees others than there is more and none is anything serious im sure.
somehow i feel (and it is not arrogant, im way far from that) that im the woman he was waiting for for a long time, whom he already gave up finding... i deduct it from things he told before and after we got together....
ps. and i could tell my whole story but it would be so long and probably quite tireing. but if you stay around, im gonna slowly try to tell shortly things (the core of situations) that might hold valuable information.
I see Katie. I never knew so many Aquarians and Cancerians got hooked up until I started reading these forums. This match is a hard one to pull off and I will tell you why. Cancers may seem like they walk on the wild side sometimes due to their upbringing or environment. But they are really a conservative lot. Their orientation to home and family forces them to be socially conservative in their veiwpoints and they generally believe in following the social norms they grew up with.
You share their love and devotion to family which is good. However, the aqua sun makes you a fixed sign that loves your independence and the Venus in Capricorn reinforces that strong independence into your love life. This is a strange match since each desires very different things out of life.
Aquarius values freedom, whereas Cancer values security.
When these two come together, it's definitely a case of “opposites attract”. The Aquarian quest for new concept and thought will clash with the Cancer cautious side.
Don't expect things to happen naturally in this relationship, however if both of you can appreciate that you look at the world in different ways, then such a partnership could be a force to be reckoned with.
Your mission! Let Cancer have his feelings and wounded heart. When he broods give his a little space for a while then go and comfort him. Don't try to talk him out of his feelings because, well they are feelings and he has no idea how to stop the waves of emotions he is constantly bombarded with. The trick for Cancer is not to try to rationalize or think his way out of the emotions but to be able to ride them out. Good thing about Cancer is the storm only last for a little while before he's dealing with a new emotional adventure. You can help with this. What ever you do, DON"T BE JUDGEMENTAL and don't say grow up BE A MAN.
So to make a long story short. Cancer feels he can't really reach you. He's bubbling with emotions but you are not reflecting back to him the level of emotional response he needs. That just not you! You can't be that emotional for god sake. Your love life like the rest of your life is ruled by the cognitive power of your brain. Not that you don't have true and genuine heartfelt feelings, they are just tempered by that powerful rational mind of your. Cancer can't hug the brain. He's trying to conquer your heart. Poor fool, when will he ever learn????