How to fall out of love with a cancer man
I just opened a Facebook account for tarot.com strictly. My name is: Flowy Aire. Please feel free to look me up as it is nice to put a face to the people I chat with on here so regularly. I'm not brave enough to use my real profile, but I did use an actual photo
We share so much on here and go through so much together I thought it would be nice.
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@lawdawg When I say "learn to love" , I mean learn to love the way a woman desires to be loved. It is my feeling that these cancers have a form of love for these women, but it is a selfish love. If a woman wants to be acknowledged she has to change the way she operates, he has to be put in a position to realize that he does love her and doesn't want to loose her so he must "learn" to consider how his actions will ultimately cause him to loose a woman he cares for, and ultimately he will treat her better or she won't e any fun to "play" with.
@If Not just cancers, but all men are very aware of our fear of loosing them they capitalize on it. They count on it, and as long as we are afraid of loosing them or pushing them away they don't have to worry about doing the same to us. You can keep him around, but as long as you tolerate a bunch a nonsense, that is all you will recieve. You do NOT have to accept bad behavior. And what are you getting in return? LOVE a relationshiop or just hope that one day he will see everything you have been thru and love you too. What if doesn't what if all of the garbage that you accept only drives him to the arms of a woman who will not accept him at his worst, but requires him to be the Best man he can be.
Hello everyone, I am not really on here because i want to fall out of love with a Cancer. I wouldn't know if one could fall out of love...but just change the way one loves. I have taken a good while digesting all that was said in this string and i have a few questions and comments. I hope no one takes offense at what I write..it is after all ...just an opinion. And just for the record...if a post is long it's only because of what needs to be said by whomever says it..so i forgive all the others and would appreciate the reciprocation.
Q- how old are most of you ...as some of the issues seem not so much about Cancer men as in men in general due to inexperience? Also, are these issues so life threatening that you can't breathe?
I totally agree with lawdawg aobut time playing a big part in any relationship. I have been in whirlwind romances and some that took years to develop. And quite frankly...its sooo much better to grow a strong and beautiful relationship when you take time. Like a fruit that ripens slowly on the vine..and bears sweeter taste. So much of our lives are so fast paced, we need to slow all the aspects of our lives in order to get the most out of it.
Q-"We put a lot of ourself out in to the universe and the universe gives back to us what we ask for." - lawdawg. Karma does have a way of making sense in my life...but not so much in my relational life. Is this what you meant, or were you speaking of how much we give of ourselves will reflect in reciprocation?
I feel for you women who are emotionally tormented about your relationships. But I do feel that it may not all be about the Cancer men in your lives that make it that way. By putting our needs first on our minds and hearts we are already filled and unable to be a vessel to hear and feel what he may have to offer. I feel that learning who you are, having a deep understanding of your needs, values (what you will and will not accept from any man), and your own self (what you bring to the table so to speak) will give you better reasoning ability when dealing with your relationships.
Personally, I think two of the biggest things ANY relationship need are honesty and effective communication. Learn to listen and you will more easily be heard. Speak gently and honestly from the heart and you will be understood.
Appreciate each person for who they are, not for whom you want them to be.
So you might appreciate "from whence I speak", I will give you a brief synopsis of my own relationship with a cancer man.
Met him 3 years ago online...great friendship at first ..although we both could feel the potential for more. Both of us had previous issues in relationships we were trying to heal from and gave enough support in the relationship to both talk and share and also to give each other space. I (because I had no lawdawg to give me advice) told him I loved him first. He didn't renig his affection, instead he told me he was unworthy of my love and wanted me to move on for my own sake. I had wanted to see him on several occasions (distance being the biggest objection) but he thwarted any attempts at making plans because he was too lost in his own tortured soul to believe he deserved any love. He still remains by friend...we still seek each other out for emotional comfort. I will always love him in a special way. However, I am still alive and healthy and I am not ruling out the fact that perhaps I WILL find a man who can give me what I desire in a relationship. I am not ruling that out...and maybe I'm not agressively looking either. I just know I am content in loving (and without being said...being loved) by the Cancer man in my life.
Thanks lawdawg for your insights. I appreciate your input here.
BTW sexygem i agree with some of the things you say. One has to be strong in oneself before you can have a healthy relationship .
Dorluv: yes i had my birthday on the 9th. thank you very much for the wishes.
FlowyAir: im happy youre more or less okay. i will look you up on facebook, but i was thinking i cant add you cause i would add you with my real name. dont know gonna think about it how to do it, since im going undercover here. LOL
FlowyAir: i havent found you on facebook. did you use a fake e-mail address? cause then you should give me that and i might find you.
Well, since i started this thread i'd like to reply...I feel that on this thread it's only by opinion, nobody here should feel offended in anyway....we're here looking and seeking advice and communicating with one another to dig deeper. If one feels offended by someone's comment their own issues lie there.
I will say i'm 28 years old...no, my situation is non life threatning...thank god...but, it's life hardening right now. i've been in a few past relationships and after doing some deep thinking and analysis i can honestly say not one man whom i ever met before has made me feel the way my cancerian does today. i will add two of my exes were in fact cancers as well.
I'm content with myself, i have really nothing to complain about - except i owe way too much in credit cards...LOL I have a great group of friends, a great job (hate/love relationship w/ my job) - good family and now at 28 years old...i feel pretty good about myself. in the past i was always down on myself...i wasn't pretty enough, skinny enough, my nose was a little bigger than i would like. but, thruth be told i am who i am and i found to be happy with me.
inexperience...no way...that's why i'm so confused here...i never have been in a postion like the one i'm encountering now. i have fallen for someone who is a friend, but scared to death to lose him if i have that "talk"...i don't wanna play games...i just want things to happen in their own way. however, i have received mixed signals and i'm here for insight.
you sound like you have a pretty good head on your shoulders...that's good. your open to the chance of finding love elsewhere if not with your distant cancer. i would be too, but does it sound silly to sort of want some closure if my cancerian male i speak of now really isn't interested? if i bumped into a man at starbucks and we got to talking i wouldn't be closed minded to the possibilty of seeing him again if the opportunity presented itself...i would carry on - but not whole heartily. i know this mayy not make much sense - maybe not coming out right - but thruth be told i've let my guard down with this guy, he makes me laugh on my worst days and i can act like i'm 5yrs old in front of him and not get embarassed...i fell for him hard.
mixed signals and not being 100% honest and open about ones feelings is this big issue...i certainly don't want him running for the hills. because to me he's very important...his bad days are reflected in me...when he's down i'm down...he's up i'm up. i never had this before (scary).
but...TaurusGeminiMia...i wish you well...and i hope you continue on this thread.
Actually I used a real email address that I don't use anymore. You have to spell it like this on FB to find me Flowy Aire. Two words...
Call me Mia...in fact that goes for everyone here.
I don't know about how good my head is...cuz when you deal with love its also the heart and that can be tricky to balance the two.
Trust is a big thing in all relationships. When you have been through a difficult or disastrous one, trust is a hard thing to give someone wholeheartedly. It is how much we invest ourselves in a relationship that give us the happiness we seem to seek. In other words...the greater the risk, the greater the reward. It also means the greater the heartbreak when it doesn't work out. Closure doesn't always have to involve the other person in the relationship either. You can come to terms with a failed relationship by understanding your part in it and how you can come away from it a better person...regardless of the other persons part in it.
I am not by any means a sage, but I have kept my eyes and mind open in life. I have observed and lived through things first hand. One of the things I value most are the people around me who have seen me though all kinds of times..good and bad.He has been one of those people. Its because of this that I never let go of the love I have for that Cancer man. I may not ever be able to reach that part of him that will trust me enough to meet me and seek the happiness we both know we can have together. That doesn't mean that I will fail him as a friend, even if it means one or both of us will move on to another person. I now 'live in the present' . If we pass time together ..it has been good; if we don't ...i still 'have a life' and live it. Taking the pressure off of a relationship...allows it to be what it is. This is when you can see where it is really headed and makes some decisions based on what you want in your life.
Don't know if that helps...hope so.
Ask yourself, is being passive, and accepting of all of his bad behavior keeping him from "running for the hills"? If it's not then all of your suffering is in vain. If you don't care about yourself enought to establish bounderies and standards, you will be mistreated, even if/when he decides to come back in your life. It makes me crazy that people believe the only way to win a cancers affection is to be a victim. There is another option. Be your own hero. IF he cares he will NOT leave if you ask to be treated with honor and dignity.
Hello fellow aquarian, I was to muchly in love with a cancer man. I always said he was cancer cause he spread rampidly through my whole being. I loved this man with all my heart yet it was not delivered back to me how i wanted it. I had to learn to seperate my self emotionally from him, which only made him pretend to want me more, in return the cancer kept growing. The only advice i have for you, is to keep things simple and do not bite your tongue, I had that problem with my cancer man. He was sharp with his tongue and made me feel, which i allowed him to make me feel, like a child in his arms. Remember this is your life and do what you feel is right for your self, even if it hurts. being that you work with him and have to look at him does not help your case. But be strong on how you feel and handle it head on on how you feel and if he does not feel the same way, love him from a distance and stand your ground no matter how much it hurts.
Flowyair. I didnt find it either onf FB
Bianca, this concept is a little difficult to understand so I will try to explain it better. In order for nature to transfer information across generations it can not rely on parents teaching their children this information because it's too important. The reason s.h.i.t. smells bad to us is because nature needs us to stay away from it so we don't touch it and get diseases and die. Notice it doesn't smell bad to dogs??? Also, humans need to have children so men and women need to get together. Nature fixed it so each man has an imprint of a feminine personality fixed deep in his brain upon birth. For him this personality image is shaped and molded by his mother and other early childhood images of important women in his life.
I'm not talking about looks, I talking about an aura. Every man's aura is different so some project on Geminis and some project on Pisces. In your case I think he love the Gemini in a normal, got to know you and like you type way. But I think he has projected on you this aura, image, imprint of woman so you intrigue him,entice him, but he cannot have you. Cannot have you is part of the projection for him. Can't have mom, can't have you. Makes you pure and special. It's called an anima attraction. Women do the same thing and it's called an animus attraction. Most times people get together and mate because projection attractions are the strongest male to female bond. Projections are hard to break. So the long and short of it all is he loves you to death but the love is based upon not having you. Can you say platonic.
It's a lot to be somebody's platonic lover. I couldn't take it. I'm too much into intimacy. One way to test the theory. Do as the astrologer said, confront him. But not hostile or argumentative. Simply say, you know Cancer, I think I'm fall in love with you all over again. See what he says or does. If he runs for the hill, you're know and what's better you will have permission to move on. If not, you will find resolution anyway.
sexygem. There is one flaw in your reasoning. The Cancer is a wayward soul. Like I said earlier he is and expert at taciturn circumlocomotion. Never goes directly after a target, just meanders side to side and then surprises it. You notice that everyone in this forum was shocked and spoke to great length about how they met and became involved with their Cancer.
So, I said all that to say, Cancer expects the devotion and loyalty to stay as a precusor for his love. If he has to earn it, he will never reach that goal because he will be afraid to put forth that much effort and lose. I will say it again, Lose. As a protector of his heart, lost is the worst. Check a Cancer out. If he loses a quarter, you would think the guy was going to cry. This hate of lost extents to family, money, his comic books or his baseball cards. If it's his, it's his,and it had better stay his. So if a woman started acting like she's going to leave if he doesn't straighten up he will be gone in a puff of smoke or he will drive her out by doing the very thing she depises...
so if i start acting indifferent...my cancer male will think to himself....wow - i'm glad i never fully persued her (me) because he'll think i truly didn't want him to begin with and he'll think he had protected his heart (as cancers are best known for)???
now - i'm confused because this is conflicting...
do i pretend to back off and see how he handles it or do i keep up our friendship/flirting and see what happnes?
either way i don't want to lose his friendship...ultimately i just wanna have knowledge of how he feels...be swayed stronger one way or the other
sexygem. another thing you can do. Ask him of all the women he knows, who does he remain you of. Hopefully, in this case he won't say mom.
sexygem & martion....thank you very much for your response and insight..
i'm sooooo happy i started this thread...not only for me but for others as well
peace and god bless to all
Hi TaurusGeminiMia, welcome. I mean something not so cosmic as karma. I talking about day to day energy. The reason a person can tell you are sad or in pain. The reason a person can feel that you will wait for them and be there even through they give you nothing to hang on to.
I believe that we as people don't examine what we are telling people with our actions, words, body language and intimacy. Sometimes those messages, instead of empowering us tend to victimize us without our consious knowledge. I've noticed that my romantic emails, poems and manners tend to make Virgos and Leo think I'm sprang. But I'm not feeling that deeply in love with them, I'm just doing what I do. This can be a problem and these two sign act upon their analysis with more confidence that most other sign. So then I feel stuck. Hard to back out of a love poem.
OK. now somebody example this to me. I have been dating since my ex left and I keep meeting these women that say " well i raised my kids after the divorce so I haven't been in a relationship for five, ten years. Is that possible? I don't, I mean never hear that from men. So how, why, how do women do this? This is the ultimate restrain or something. Can anybody explain?
Oh, when I read your thread you were everything I expected the combo to be. Down to earth with a cerebral overtone.