Thmilin !!!!

  • Hey lady,

    No worries or need for apologizing. We all got lives to tend to. The hour difference does make up for the invisible gaps and in my case my office is at home. 😉

    To answer what you wrote I have been practising patience. Not easy but I am getting better at it. I promise I will behave. What I would appreciate if he has changed his mind how will I notice that he isn’t interested in that way? He can be direct so I am hoping to hear something if that is the case. Well I did try to find out once. I mentioned if he felt that I was stalking him (which I wasn’t I was just annoyed that he was busy all the time) he should tell me. He said no you aren’t and I am not feeling like you are.

    Yes, I realise that it sounds like the distance and work is a problem. It shouldn’t be an issue yet we both are using it unconsciously to some degree. You see he has to put a program for me and I know that is coming up. And I think we both realize that then it’s a make or break situation. I was hoping to meet him outside of that situation to be able to figure out where we stand and then move from that point as friends or other.

    I got to explain something as a Scorpio and not as a woman. If I did follow true and got my ticket and gone to the concerts I would do that more to see whom I am dealing with. Who is this person that has my heart in turmoil and figure out what to do next. I could be somewhere without the other person knowing. I hate lies or uncertain things and seeing to me is believing.

    Okay enough Libra guy.

    How was your vacation? I figured getting on the net wasn’t easy. Where all have you been? And was the places you have been what you you expected? The weather over here sucks big time makes me want to go to places like Bora Bora and just have myself a nice cocktail and be pampered for the duration of the winter. LOL

    In my mind I am already there. 😉

  • so cool you get to work from home! i do occasionally but it's not the same. 🙂

    well you don't have to "behave" just be mindful of his needs and yours. but don't bend over backwards or it won't be YOU being yourself, right? you shouldn't completely change yourself for someone else either. just giving you some ideas on motivation behind a libra mind/heart.

    lol re: you as a scorpio going to "see" for sure. i hear you about turmoil. sometimes all that turmoil is tiring man. lol, i hope it works out for you because as a libra honestly in your position i would have been done by now! lol

    my vacation was good! i went to hanoi, vietnam, then bangkok, thailand, and spent the rest of my time in singapore. we used singapore as a home base since my dad lives there now (i grew up there). hanoi was trying but good - it's so far north in vietnam they almost never see black people (i'm half). i've never been to China but know that deep in the country it's the same. They point giggle and stare and talk about you and culturally it's totally acceptable, but in the west/US it is not. however since i grew up in asia i was prepared for that. my friend was not and she was stressed and feeling negative unfortunately for a large chunk of the trip.

    but the food and culture and sights are beautiful and interesting. hanoi was actually quite industrial, a lot like south korea, so there were a lot of empty grass plains and then a lot of factories/buildings/stores but not necessarily a lot of gardens, greenery, or pretty things as we might be used to in other cities. it's just a hard life and a hard situation. there were parks in one or two areas but it wasn't common. and there's a lot of ho chi minh stuff (their dead, beloved political leader) - mausoleums, museums, his government estate, etc. we went out into the country side and saw some interesting things and did some great shopping. vietnam has an interesting relationship where china will ship them porcelain and wood furniture and they will polish up the furniture and paint the porcelain and sell it "made in vietnam." there was some truly beautiful stuff to find though. it was all pretty much as i expected, though. i am just open to culture, people, ways of life, and learning about it, so, whatever a place is, it is, as long as it's not dangerous to me. bought beautiful hand woven silk (woven by looms from the 1920s), $5 for a good couple of yards it was crazy. i got an elaborate 100% silk robe for like $30. crazy!

    bangkok we had less time to spend - had more fun there, did more shopping. very hectic, typical super crowded. just like the movies/tv (they were there for america's next top model once) it is indeed crazy traffic and a gazillion cars and overwhelming. on foot it's not so bad. we ate great food, super spicy as expected, in thailand "not spicy" is still at least a 4 on the heat scale (1-10). bought some arts and crafts, some porcelain, some wood carvings. i have a thing for wood carvings like buddha statues and masks. bought some silk bed spreads.

    all was as expected. it's asia! which i love a lot so, for those who haven't been - GO!

    i hear you on the bora bora ... and totally support you. i realize it's not always financially easy for most people to travel period in life, let alone out of the country, but it is really important for a person to do it if they can, at least once, and to travel outside of their home area, even just within their own country, as often as possible, as it can be reasonably afforded. it's healthy for the soul and the mind and heart!

    and we all deserve relaxation and rejuvenation someplace that encourages that, whether it's a beach or a private hut in the jungle. 🙂

  • I agree that turmoil is tiring. Yet meeting this man (in absence) has thought me so many things about myself that I have been hiding for years. And being on the board has added much also to this learning curve. Honestly any other guy approached me the way he did I would of told them off or just look at them and walk away. I can’t tell what the difference is with this man.

    Hmmm now you got me curious. What is it that I am going to “see” for sure as a Scorpio? LibrasLair said once to me that I behave like a Libra sometimes but I got my chart and I have Sun/Mercury/Neptune in Scorpio, Jupiter/Uranus/Pluto/Rising in Virgo, Moon/Midheaven in Gemini, Venus in Libra, Mars in Capricorn, Saturn in Aries. 🙂 And him if I can remember correctly he has Sun in Libra, Moon in Pisces, Rising in Capricorn and Venus in Scorpio.

    I don’t remember the rest.

    Ooooh your vacation sounds great. I share your opinion that people should travel to broaden their personal horizon. I love to travel. When I was little I use to travel a lot with my dad. It was mostly sunny destinations. I have seen many islands in the Caribbean and even been to Venezuela and Puerto Rico. Loved Puerto Rico visited that with my mom. Old historical buildings while you get the feeling that you’re standing on top of the World.

    Well that’s how I felt. lol Brazil is on the top of my short list.

    Asia is on my bucket I hope to get there someday. My brother and a friend of the family go often to Thailand and Malaysia. I can’t recall if they have been to the other countries that you been to. I would like to visit China myself to get a better understanding of Feng Shui. I am reading about it to use in my work. I calculate building projects and I am trying to have another angle when I start my business. I am working now on a project that kind of demands of me to know more about it and Vaastu in general. So I am taking my time to understand it better.

    Eventhough I live in Holland I haven’t seen much of Europe. I visited the UK London to be more precise, Germany, Switserland, France and Belguim. Got friends living in Rome and Bulgaria. USA is also on my list but it’s becoming mandatory for me to visit. Have friends spread around the country that are nagging for me to come and visit so whenever I get over there I have to stay at least 3 months to give everybody some

    You got yourself some good bargains when it comes to the silk objects you bought. I love silk especially if I get it as I too have a passion for art and woodcarving. I think this started when I worked in gallery many years ago. You develop an eye for the better work.

    Regarding Buddha’s I was told you shouldn’t buy them yourself. How do you go about that?

    Before I forget LibrasLair is having computer problems.

  • This post is deleted!

  • hi keldjoran! nice to meet you 🙂 glad you're liking the Libra info, haha.


    About the "see" - I was summing up your explanation: "I got to explain something as a Scorpio and not as a woman. If I did follow true and got my ticket and gone to the concerts I would do that more to see whom I am dealing with. Who is this person that has my heart in turmoil and figure out what to do next. I could be somewhere without the other person knowing. I hate lies or uncertain things and seeing to me is believing"

    Basically saying I respect you gotta do what you gotta do and will have whatever urges/feelings as a Scorpio. 🙂

    Holland! Nice ... have only seen a little bit in Europe, you've still managed to see a lot! But considering how close everything is I am going to shake my finger and say, why haven't you seenmore! 😉 It's all EU now ...

    I agree I want to see the Latin lands ... South America, Puerto Rico, Dominican Republic, Cuba ...

    Buddha images are apparently not idolatry/iconography but "mere representation" meant to inspire, but not to be worshipped in and of themselves. There are also bodhisattva images. Then again there are unspoken rules about how the image should be treated and nuance behind them. Basically the images are to be respected, but not revered so much that they are worshipped.

    So, I tend to like Buddha masks. I love the grain and contrast and warmth of woods, and woods that are from southeast asia and entirely more complex and different than wood in the northern hemisphere. I also have wall panels in which the "side face" of the buddha is carved. A friend gave me a Chinese rosewood Buddha and I put it in my office to "bless" the space with good energy. I like, but cannot afford (here in the US, too expensive, and while cheaper in Asia, expensive to ship back) carved stone Buddha images. These make my spirit sing when I see them. I was in one shop that had an antique section (in 2007) and they had a statue from 3000 BC that was $200,000 Singapore dollars (less in US). I wanted it so badly it was exquisite. They find these statues in ruins across asia and then resell them - this act can be seen as "misuse." Then again they are treated with great respect in some stores and so it really depends on perception and intent i think.

    I do however have a full sitting Buddha in black bronze from Thailand. He is very beautiful. You aren't supposed to put one in full display in your home, like a central object, and he isn't quite central but he definitely isn't subtle. But when I come home I know my home is filled with the positive energy, almost giving me away and a place to channel it, because he's there. Seeing him makes me happy, that's really all that matters. He is serene and calm and he makes me feel the same.

    I am circling spiritual exploration and do not belong to one religion and have long been attracted to the peaceful nature of Buddhism, but have yet to formally study it. So that might make my use of the images in my home a "mis-use."

    Yet I was reading around on feng shui trying to figure out how to figure out where my "top left corner is" and how I should orient it, and went and read tips and learned that it is very bad form to buy and display a Buddha in the way Westerners do it, if you're a practicing Buddhist.

    However, the feng shui expert, who himself is Asian and buddhist (or at least grew up Buddhist) said that he re-evaluated and noted that if it's used to "decorate" versus to "be an object of the Buddhist religion" then it should be fine. I'll try to find the link.

    Note your Venus in Libra and your art background say a lot - Libras like and need beautiful things, art, and architecture around them or they become extremely unhappy. Some people don't care or can live wherever or however but Libras need to create beauty and will naturally place their home near to something (like a beautiful view, etc.) or arrange their home to create that sense for them so they can balance and function. Venus is about beauty, which remember is Libra's ruling planet. Even if you have no other planets in Libra, Venus in Libra will speak strongly to you and still manifest itself.

    Anyhoo so the Buddha masks and wall carvings I got at artisan/decor shops in Bangkok, Vietnam, and Singapore. There is something truly beautiful to me about certain Buddhas - when you travel to Asia you will see the full gamut of them. Every Asian country has Buddha and different regions interpret him differently, dressing him in their clothes and accessories. There's the common Chinese "happy buddha" the chubby one you can find in a US chinatown. But there's also the ancient one in robes, who looks almost Japanese. There is the buddha with the hair knots on his head, as if he had curly hair. Some are more Malay looking, some more East Asian. Some more refined and "gentlemanly" some more "peasant-like." All are beautiful.

    Here's an article I found explaining the nuances in the use of the Buddha image:

  • Hi,

    Thanks for the link. I bookmarked it because links don’t stay up long on the board. I took a quick look at it and will study it more before I get back to you about it. As I said I am a novice at this. The book that I am reading about Feng Shui now for work purposes is: The Complete Illustrated Guide to Feng Shui by Lillian Too and the one on Vaastu: The Indian spiritual alternative to feng shui by Richard Craze.

    Recently at the 1st floor of the building that I am working on (we are remodelling the ground floor) I saw that a company has a full sitting Buddha in a corner. The Buddha stands on top of ridge of a small pond. They have moving water with a few water lily in it. I couldn’t see if they had fishes in there. I am not sure on the material the Buddha is made of. And yes I also felt the serenity you feel when you get home. That floor has it also.

    One question: The bronze Buddha did you bought it or got it? You see that I couldn’t decipher after your explanation. I would want to know if I get one for myself. It a beautiful thing when you say that your spirit sings when you see stone carved Buddha’s. I have that with old historic buildings and architecture or places that you can smell culture. When I visit art exhibitions it’s always the older pieces that catch my attention or old styles if an artist makes use of it. Modern art I enjoy as well but then the material used has to be from a natural source.

    I enjoy seeing when I get in stores/shops that the owners applied some form of feng shui. The little things like 7 gold fishes (6 gold and 1 black or one that has black spots) or moving water of some sort, clear crystals etc. At home I only changed my furniture around since we don’t have any mountains or hills around here. Holland is flat...period!! lol

    Hahaha I see you shaking that

    Your right I should have travelled more but you know when the “busy” live catch up with you it’s hard to plan these things in. If I was without obligations I would do it differently. I started this year with an adventurous streak and picked up my singing again and travel is also on my list.

    Whenever you’re planning to go to the Dominican Republic let me know!! I have to go there. My granny was born there and I have never been to it. She was born in San Pedro de Macoris. So you can imagine when Haiti got shaken up I was feeling that bad. I don’t have relatives living there or on the other part of the island (DR) yet the images were hard to swallow.

    Re: Venus in Libra and my art background saying a lot. I didn’t realise this until you mentioned it. For years when my aunt want to decorate her house and she furniture that she wants to get she calls me and I have to give a verdict. I don’t always agree with her taste but I manage to get her to buy something that can survive the test of time. LOL. I switched careers a few years ago and gone into construction. That enabled me to visit different buildings. As a matter of fact the last boss I was working for had many collaborations with the museum’s that we have for example Van Gogh museum. Well actually all museums here in Holland. Hahahaha ...I really enjoyed that period.

    But my love for building started very young I just didn’t do anything with it. So is my love for singing. Well I have to elaborate on the singing.

    Libra guy stung me a bit when we were talking about music and singing. I once asked him since he is a musician if he could sing since I used to years ago. He tried something but nah...LOL. So I told him to stop. Then in another conversation (weeks after) we were discussing talents and he said: oh I got a talent to play drums but you don’t have a talent to sing otherwise you would be doing it now!!!! I was like whoa...okay. He doesn’t know that I picked it up again and I am not going to tell him anything. hihi

    Anyways...if and when you make plans to come to Europe or visit Holland let me know I will give you the grand tour on the museums and take you to our little China Town and other know hotspots..:)

    Oh The Captain has a thread called - What do you really want? I posted there as well when you get the chance read up on what she found for me and Libra I think it’s on page 10 or so.

  • Hey Thmilin,

    Where did you go girl? Nah just kidding I know that work can be a drag. I hope all is well. I was going through the thread again and saw that you probably misunderstood LibrasLair about the Spiritual Path reading. She didn’t mean a reading for you and the guy together but individually. I had mine a while back it’s about 20 pages or so. Very interesting. I hope you take her up on her offer.

    I got to report back to you about Libra guy. 🙂

    Got a hold of him!! And he was stingy (Libra/Scorpio cusp). Well I deserved that because we had a semi fall out the last time we spoke. So first he was like what you are calling for? I was like okay...if it’s like that you want problem. Then he rushed to say I haven’t been open and clear to him and he doesn’t like that. He said he likes talking to me but when I get iffy he doesn’t like that too much. He said he liked it plain and easy. Tell him what I want and he will decide how and what to do. Hmmm where did I hear that before? 😛

    My respond to this was that he wasn’t clear either and he has been hiding. We went back and forth like that for a few and then we had a truce. LOL Then I asked him for a date and time to start with my program at the health club and we are seeing each other next week!!! For some reason I started telling him that I have my eye on guy. He was that where you’re living? I said no it’s where you are living. He became playful after his first semi-panic Anyways he burst out in a laughter and started talking about himself in third person.

    Too I played along. He said oh my friend didn’t notice that you liked him that much ...hmm I will tell him that he got lucky. I said yeah do that he is an interesting man.

    Yet I think your friend doesn’t have time for a woman like me and I hope to find someone just like him. Your friend is always on the run. He was oh is that so? I will pass that along also to him and no he isn’t running just very busy with his activities. After that bit the conversation got quite heated. I liked that. He played my game better than me at that moment and I was surprised that he knew the rules. He shocked me by telling me what I have to do when I get over there next week. Too Xrated to repeat here. After composing myself after what I heard I said gosh you do have a one track mind....he said...uhmm yeah. Then I said you shouldn’t be in a hurry for everything like that it’s nicer to un-wrap things slowly. He was surprised for me saying that and then I told him to tell his friend that I missed him. He replied ... yes he misses you too. His voice was very warm and kind when he said that.

    After that we hung up and he went to his next appointment.

    I am at a very strange place now. Yes I am exited yet I am very calm. Can't put my finger on it.

    We will see what next week brings.

  • Uh oh...the **** is x.ra.ted!

  • Flowsco! Yeah it's been a nutty first quarter start and it isn't going to get any better. 😛

    Thanks for the book recommendations on Feng Shui!

    Usually buddhas are just going to be stone, bronze, or wood. I've never seen them in any shiny metal, though I have seen them in papered in gold foil when made of bronze or wood.

    I'd love an outdoor feature at my place but it's a small place and just has a cement patio out back, not the prettiest scene. I'd have to really invest to set up a suitable place for meditation or nature/Buddha image.

    The bronze Buddha I have I just went and bought it, at antique/home decor stores in Asia they're pretty common. Also in touristy places, because they know Westerners want them. I've usually seen small ones in touristy shops and then otherwise the larger stuff these shops will have are wall panels with their face in relief or a carving of just the face to hang on a wall.

    Older pieces of art carry history, and story, and meaning, and life. They carry wisdom and lives and the cosmos in them, whether it's a building or a sculpture or a painting. Many hands having looked at them, touched them, made them, transferred them from one place to another - this is a lot of "spiritual" baggage which is why the more beautiful they are, the more treasured they are, and the more they mean and emotionally impact people who encounter them/visit them.

    I agree, I am not moved by modern art, or modern furniture ... I agree, too about the exception for natural source. For example in lots of current Japanese design and architecure they use natural materials in clever and streamlined ways, turning a modern space from something cold or hospital like into something warmer, richer. Same thing can happen in Sweden, thus the advent of Ikea. 🙂

    But I do love a bamboo floor or a shower floor embedded with river rock or lined with fresh bamboo. Modern design can become more likeable for me when nature is involved. There is also this italian sculptor, can't remember his name at the moment, he carves organic forms out of stone and metal and THAT is really lush and beautiful. They can be very feminine and "earthy" even though they don't look like anything recognizable.

    I hope you get to travel out of Holland one day but I know it's hard ... My father has been to the DR and says it's beautiful, I hope you get to go soon!

    Yup, Venus in Libra = need beauty and art in your life or you're really really unhappy and incomplete. Any libra is like this but the reason all Libras are like this is because we are ruled by Venus. So if your Venus is in Libra - pow!

    Hahah, that's cool you're the design guru for your friends and family. It's a good sign! Spreading beauty is a libra talent you get to have!

    Awesome too that you sing! Me too!

    Aww about the Libra guy being cranky ... well, we take things seriously and can be sensitive, especially about things like art and beauty that we treasure doing/enjoying for ourselves. He'd have done the same if you teased him about his cooking, home design, clothes, hair, cologne, anything about presentation/looking good/aesthetic talent. We just pride ourselves on that and see it as an extension of our inner person, our treasured self. We're overly sensitive about it. And we could be a little petty about punishing you for hurting our feelings about it. 😞 It feels like hitting us "down there" when you do it so, you know, the less gracious side can come out and make us give you tit for tat (fairness, scales, balance).

    I was shy for years - still am - about singing because I didn't want people to tell me if it was bad even if it was. 😛

    Thank you for the invite to Holland!

    I looked up The Captain's thread "What do you really want" and went through a couple pages around 10 and couldn't find a post on you ...

    I see your other post, will post on that later this weekend!

  • Thmilin 😉 Singing is something I pursued when I was little. I auditioned a couple of time yet they didn't like my voice or I had to sing songs that were out of my range. Lovely Day by Bill Withers or something. Love the song, hate the memories. lol

    I sang in High School as backing vocals and also when I used to perform in a Limbo group. Yup...the going under a stick thingy. hihihi Not so flexible anymore

    The singing I picked up again due to Libra guy. He said I didn't have a talent and so I thought game on I am going to show you who doesn't have talent. So he doesn't know and I am going to keep it like that as long as possible. I will be transferring next month from the general group that I am singing now on invitation from the teacher to a smaller group. I was a bit surprised that it is possible yet I am excited. I need a lot of work I am very rusty. And after her comment that I have a big voice I was like uhmmmm. I lack technique and that is what I am learning. Yet she says she likes my energy.

    How long have you been singing? Do you professionally? What kind of genre do you prefer? I will try anything as long I don’t make a fool of myself. Lately I am sooo loving Pink’s song Glitter in the Air.

    After reading what you wrote about your Buddha I think Asia is the best place to get one. I do see them around here yet still I didn’t get a full pull to get one. The “connection” wasn’t there for me to do so. I think some history has to be attached to it.

    Ikea’s formula is a strong one. Well thought of and executed. I have one or two pieces in my house from them. Bamboo I have been reading up on. The versatile quality they have etc. Somewhere on the web I saw an umbrella made of bamboo and I am not talking about the handle but the umbrella itself. The bamboo was processed to fabric and then made very thin, transparent and waterproof. The lady didn’t expect it to be a hit and she is constantly sold out.

    I am totally agreeing on the bamboo floor and rock for the shower floor. Wauw.

    Are you sure you’re in the right line of work?

    I still have a great deal to learn and just go with what I like but not much of a guru. Lol My family asks me because I have an eye for quality and price. They don’t trust me enough with their money to do over their house

    I hope you remember the Italian sculptor’s name I would like to see who you are referring to. I like quirky art like Salvador Dali’s collection. Very hard to come by yet his family decided not so long ago to put some of his work into production again and so I am collecting when I can. Not everything just certain theme’s he worked on. Yet his calendar I do buy every year.

    DR is definitely something I have to do in this lifetime.

    I looked up The Captain’s thread and it was on page 10 at the bottom. I copied and pasted it for you.

    Flowsco, what you really want is to experience happiness, harmony, fairness, and support with one partner whom you love. To achieve this, you need to be your own partner first. By getting to know yourself, you begin to do the things that bring you joy and increase your level of self-nurturing so you feel strong, confident, and supported. As you treat yourself more fairly, you will feel the sense of balance and justice you seek. Only at this point can you establish a healthy partnership wherein two individuals share equally with each other without feeling debilitated

    Your Achilles' Heel is a preoccupation with justice ("My survival depends on everyone playing fair with me") This thought should signal that you are on shaky ground. You are very giving by nature, yet your need for justice and absolute fairness is a bottomless pit. You can start 'playing fair' with yourself by not giving beyond a point that feels comfortable, even if you know that nothing will be reciprocated. The trap that you need to avoid is an unending search for an ideal committed partnership ("If only I can find the perfect partner, I'll feel complete within myself"). The feeling of completeness you seek can only be achieved individually; it will not be the by-product of a relationship, no matter how wonderful the partner. The bottom line is that you'll never gain enough approval from others to have permission to be yourself. At some point, you must take the risk and pursue activities that are meaningful to you. Once you go in your own direction, the appropriate people will be drawn into your life to support you.

    Flowsco's special friend - what you really want is money. You want to accumulate financial resources and material possessions to gain a sense of comfort and stability so you can begin to really 'live'. To achieve this, you need to be willing to form partnerships with others, finding those who have similar values and resources (money or talent) that they can share with you. If you use your energy to enhance your partner/s' energy, truly linking with the other/s as a team rather than maintaining a sense of separation ("my money - your money, my resources - your resources") the result can be great financial rewards for all involved. With the contractual understanding that you will get a percentage of the profits, you are free to focus on enhancing your partner/s energy and power in ways that increase the success of the team. You are better off asking your partner/s what is fair, because others appreciate you more than you value yourself.

    Your Achilles' Heel is comfort ("The goal of life is to be comfortable. I need lots of possessions to survive.") This can lead into the trap of a never-ending search for accumulation. ("When I finally have enough money and possessions, I will feel good about myself and can relate to others.") This thinking leads to stagnation on all levels. You can never get enough 'stuff' to feel comfortable in making the changes that will add vitality to your life. You must be willing to risk losing your current level of comfort to gain a higher state of power and energy. You will never have enough money and personal property to think you can afford to bond with others or feel there is enough to take care of all your needs. Let go of self-concern and put your full power into partnership.

  • Italian sculptor - I had assumed from his name he was italian, because I'd always seen it without the accents, but it turns out it's Romanian! Brancusi&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wi

    For buying Buddha images - you can get them at and's "worldstock" selection - just be sure to double check measurements so you get something as large as you want (some items are deceptively small and you're shopping online so pay close attention).

    I have an album up on amazon/itunes ("miriam wynn") 🙂 - pop/jazz/latin/hiphop, kind of all over the place. if i ever go professional it will probably be dance or jazz.

    I will take LibrasLair up on her offer ... dunno if she will check this thread again?

    Libra stinger - sorry, yeah as I mentioned we don't like it - scorpios don't like it either 😉 - when the other person witholds, especially after we share a lot of ourselves. (he may not be sharing a lot with you recently, but if he did so at one point, and hasn't since, that's because he feels you haven't reciprocated to "match" his level of sharing and he's going to withhold giving you more until you do.)

    it REALLY has to be fair, totally equal, or we're not happy. one person in more power makes us miserable/resentful/distrustful.

    glad you got to have your flirt on! exciting that you're going to get s.e.x.y with him when you next see each other, lol.

    note - don't be too defensive. yes it's important to tell a guy "hey be careful of the one-track mind" but if you do that every time he tries to flirt with you - he will stop flirting with you. you're making it way too deliberate/obvious and it puts a lot of expectation on the "more relationship less sex." obviously we all want that but the more you highlight that, the more of a burden it becomes, and the less titillated the libra is.

    the way to play this game with the libra is to flirt like crazy back. never promise anything, just flirt like crazy back. if he tries to close the deal in person, you graciously and skillfully evade (either dancing out of his arms or being in public so he can't do anything). it's a game of cat and mouse. you never actually say NO but his male instincts will know you are holding out/not into closing the deal just yet without you saying it.

    keep saying it, and he'll cancel the deal.

    unfortunately yes, it's the "game" of the chase - but remember, on top of that, libra's LOVE playing. we love flirting. we love mind games. we love the puzzle and the intrigue and the mystery. yes be honest, say what you want - but don't ruin the game and make it all serious or full of expectation. then it's dark and heavy and not fun and sexy and we don't feel like playing any more, we're bogged down with rules. hehe.

    what you really want:

    you - haha, libra description! well at least you speak this libra guy's language of "fairness." it's probably easier, though, to ask for fairness from others than to give it. 😉 the advice here re: being complete within yourself - very true but i think from what you've said about your life and experience that you already know and practice this.

    the libra guy - sooo true re: libras. we really really like comfort, and can be really really lazy. and some libra's can get focused on the superficial/material. it is important for us to be a partnership and team, that's when we really shine, give, and add value to the friends and family and coworkers around us. i personally struggle with the materialism angle but i do try to be a good partner in all things. that's my own fairness chip, i don't like to get into situations or do things with others and focus only on my own needs, you don't get nearly as far in life doing that.

    really cool!

  • Before I go off and talking about anything else I want to say. You have an incredible voice. And I looooovvvee your interpretation of Urban Tango ...loved it! On Sade sweetest Taboo I was singing along. lol Your pretty too!!! Okay enough compliments....;)

    I do hope you get that professional break you want. You will do great. I am not there yet. I got to work on my breathing and techniques so I am giving myself a full year to get that in order. I can’t tell you right now in what range I am because I am discovering my own voice. Which is an interesting process since I have a habit of mimicking someone else song and technique which is sometimes a stretch. Boy oh boy you can go high!! 😉

    Re Libraslair: She isn’t posting much on the board anymore so you can just mail her it’s no problem. 🙂

    Yesterday we saw each other after so many weeks. Well 3 months to be exact and it was intense. We spoke last week and he challenged me for something thinking I was no game. So I went prepared. Yet the day went different for both of us. I was running late and when I got there he wasn't there. After waiting for a while he turned up he was running late from his other office.

    I have to describe that moment. When I got to the health club I was nervous. After inquiring if he was sick or anything I waited and hung on the phone. I cancelled another appointment that I had that afternoon because I was determined to see him. So after waiting for nearly an hour I decided I was going to leave. I went to get my coat in the locker room and had my phone making a call about my next appointment. While doing that and walking out the room turning the corner I was face to face with him. We looked at each other and to me it was like time stood still for a few. I told the person on the line I was going to call them back with our eyes still locked. He greeted me and I was genuinely happy to see him. His friend which is the owner of the health club came towards him or something I dunno and the he said: look she is glowing. 🙂 He started explaining what went wrong and I told him that none of us (friend, personnel, me) could reached him because his phone was out. He apologized and continued explaining then asked if I could stay and he needed to treat another lady quickly and then get to me. So I stayed. I got to mention that his friend knows something. Because they took good care of me when I was waiting and then he was running around the place changing clothes etc. His friend started bragging about how he took care of me and he was oooh thank you for keeping her here and taking care of her. Really, goofy to see two grown up men behaving like that. I turned my back with a smile on my face shaking my head and waited until they finished their weird behaviour. Then I turned around and asked them if they were finished. LOL.

    During my appointment with him which was in total 30 minutes this time around was intense. We went from saying hi to him asking me all kind of relevant things and then about my family and then we had a squabble again which he started about my son!! He asked me how he was doing and I said he was okay. The man started out okay? What kind of an answer is that? And proceeded saying that I don’t give a longer or straight answer. Might I add that he was addressing just about everything we talked about in a very fast pace. And above all he challenged me with something that I took very seriously and only thing is not the way I wanted. Yet I let him to know that I have. He was shocked for about 2 seconds and did like nothing happened. I hated that moment because I couldn’t see his face. Shortly after that he started saying stuff like: the man that would be with you will be in for a ride and that I need a man to take care of me. I without really thinking what he was getting at responded: yes only thing is the man doesn’t have to give me a headache otherwise he can leave. (I meant that) On which he said: Okay if he leaves then he is gone and not coming back. At that point it sank into me that he was talking about himself while checking my feet. Then we discussed money. He gave me examples of how life could be much easier with money and they were relevant examples. I responded with if I had that sort of money I wouldn’t be going around doing crazy stuff just because I have. I said I thought you knew me better which he said luckily not. 😛

    I felt like he was testing me all the time. Little does he know I will work for my money but I will never be chasing anybody’s fortune. I have enough experience in my family where money and possession created ill blood and it’s never peaceful. I keep myself and my son from that and that is good for us.

    Hmm I also told him about his friend (my cousin) which is also a Libra male inquiring about where he and I stand because whenever this guy calls me he uses my appointments and Libra guy to call as an excuse. It’s always indirect and he will deduct where our contact is. My cousin likes me I don’t in that way. And I told Libra guy what’s going on. So he wasn’t amused that his friend thought he was doing something secretive. He was genuinely annoyed. Anyways right after that he asked if I liked my cousin which I said no and then he calmed down. I said I like you though. But very quickly. He heard me but wanted me to repeat it which I playfully refused then someone called him away and when he came back he said: oh so you like me. We both burst out in laughter. Mean little bugger!! lol Then we got silly.

    It’s been great to see him. We will be seeing each other next week and hopefully I’ll have my full time with him.

  • quick response - crazy week - will get to more this weekend - YAY on the flirty flirty! so typical a libra ... we can be very childish, which can be both fun and frustrating (sometimes at the same time!) ...

    and thank you for your kind words! and i appreciate you like my singing you're sweet - the day job is a tech writing job and my big dream is to write romance for a living with voiceover and singing income on the side and for creative outlet/fun, but I doubt I'll be a big star. if you found the sade song that was on my VERY old site back when i wasn't the level of singer I am now, i apologize for the quality of that ... 😛

    more later! 🙂

  • Hi lady,

    That sounds great what you want to do to write about romances. If you ever out of subjects I will be glad to assist. 😉

    My emotions are on a high speed rollercoaster. So much has been happening the last two weeks it’s just crazy. Have you ever met someone and both of you fall in love with each other and the timing is just wrong? I think that’s the case with me and Libra guy. And I don’t know now what to do with my emotions. My head is clear yet my emotions are stronger. sigh

    Wednesday after he started the program my body had certain reactions and I called him and told him about it. We discussed it and had a good giggle. Then during the convo he asked me about my comments referring my cousin. I explained what exactly happened and how I felt about being approached that way. I opened up big time something I don’t do easily. We talked about our attraction to each other and if we should act upon it. I was always wary to say anything about that...flirt yeah, games yeah. He is a smart, funny, s.exy and a great person. That is what I see in him and that’s what I love about him. Believe me I fought it all with every cell in my body and now I convinced so has he.

    He kind of nudged me to finally say what I would like doing to It was an interesting and heated conversation. It was an honest conversation because at a point he started saying where he stood in his life and what he is dealing with at the moment. I have been on his mind a lot and wasn’t sure what to do with me. I think that explains the “hiding” of the last couple of months. The phone was the safest between us. I agree. He complained a bit that I lived that far and explained that he is dealing with his past and that it isn’t an easy road for him. Girl it’s going to be a long road for him with a lot of twist and turns. I told him that I thought between when we met and now that things might of changed and he said not much. He said that he tried relationships before and they didn’t work and he isn’t ready to leave the life he has created for himself where he can go and stand where he wants.

    I know about his past relationships. These are about the first things he talked about when we met. I now understand better why he always keeps himself busy. The insight I got on this board has been priceless. Because to be honest I would of high tailed a long time ago out of these emotions. My ex did a great deal of damage and I wasn’t going to put up with anything anymore. That’s the crossroad I am at the moment. Do I or don’t I. He has been respectful to my wishes, gave me time to sort my feelings out became someone I trust and is genuinely interested in me as person and someone I would like keeping around for a long time. And believe me I am not easy. lol And therefore I know I met my match.

    After the conversation he said he is going to take on board what I said to him. I hung up and then I was shaking like crazy, felt dizzy, I couldn’t believe that I actually said all that I said and was confused. I took a shower and went to bed. Got up and was still fuzzy. I texted him and shared a bit more that I found was necessary to do now. Let him know where I stand and what I would want from him. I know you said not to do that just yet but he was concerned that I was playing with his feelings and I had to clear that up. I told him that I missed him yet I don’t know if I want to wait until he is sorted with himself. I thanked him for his honesty and went to sleep.

    He wanted to meet and forgot that we would be seeing each other next week. I reminded him. I also told him my son will be there because he wants to see Libra guy. So he took that as a notice too. It’s complicated now because I think we are both at a point that we would have to put all under lock and key and just work with each other and that is going to be difficult with the program he sets up for me. I am able I have practiced this all this time...and he proved after my tease last week that he can. So this might just get interesting. I don’t know.

    Sun is shining I think I will take a walk and check in later.

  • Uhmm I didn't tell him that I don't want to wait around for him that is a thought I was sharing with you. The way I wrote looked liked that. sorry.

  • lol, hi flowsco, my crazy weekend continues but i wanted to check back in and finish up my thoughts. thanks for the update! and the offer for romance stories. 😉

    sooo ... yeah the tricky thing with a libra is not to make them wonder too much or they will begin to distrust you and then things get VERY prickly - even if your intentions were always pure and it just becomes misunderstanding. i think this can happen at any time with any sign, mixed signals get negatively interpreted and then it just snowballs into miscommunication and bad feelings.

    so after your last update - I am glad you two got things out in the open more. i will caution that his behavior kind of made it clear already that he is afraid to go further, you're right about his hiding - we hide deliberately when we are nervous, upset, or doubtful. when we are SURE of something - we are SURE. it takes a lot for us to be sure, but once we have it, we are golden, we trust you, we do not look back, we are sure of what we want and how we want to pursue it with you.

    all the signs so far show he wants something but is uncertain.

    with men in general this means "i don't know what i want but i like you." it is a fine line here because you ask for advice for a libra, so i tell you in context of a libra what his actions mean, however - he's still a regular human being in a relationship making the same choices, mistakes, or good decisions anyone can make.

    at least now, you know he wants you to flirt more, he likes to push you to b emore specific about your attraction to him (actually that's not necessarily a libra thing, more a man thing :), he gets jealous (not a libra thing, actually, but it can happen depending on other signs in your chart) of you with others, he insists he has feelings of some sort yet remains busy and hard to pin down.

    now, he's full of vulnerabilities and good will. he doesn't have bad intentions. he shows you respect.

    all this, it sounds like, have made you take him more seriously than you might have years ago and that you're giving him the benefit of the doubt because you see his intentions are good.

    i do want to caution - all the good intentions in the world can sometimes mean nothing, and even though you didn't say to him that you're not sure you want to wait - i am glad that you have this in your mind.

    because if anything, a libra is REALLY indecisive. which is one of the number one things most signs hate about a libra.

    when it comes to love, we can be in love with love, we can think we want someone, something, and then once we have it, we can very much indeed change our minds. i'm not saying we're fickle.

    what i am saying is - let's say you go into a store, and you're hungry. and the store sells ice cream and pastries and they all smell good. as a libra, we go in there and say, YUM, i want it ALL!

    then you have to pick one. The libra dilly dallies. The libra says, oh man, if i can't come back, i have to pick the BEST, no limit!

    someone comes along and says, the store is closing. you have 5 minutes. pick something.

    forced to pick something, we pick what we think is the best - maybe 2 items.

    standing outside, we hold our bag and sit there thinking, i never had enough time to fully evaluate all my options. what if i picked the wrong one?

    we take the pastry home. we eat one. whether we like it or not, we're thinking - what about the 40 other options i didn't get the time to really look at and compare and think about?

    if a libra had their way, they would be in that store for an hour picking the very best. then they'd come back to the store 4 different times until they confirmed and tried all the variations and identified the top items at the store. only THEN would they be satisfied.

    my point here is, the libra picks what they think they want in th emoment, with what tools they're given, and some libras are better and faster at this (and learn sooner) than others. now, men and women also have a flurry of emotions and waffle back and forth, since love and romance are subjective.

    add all this together, and you are both not sure of what you want but you know you like each other.

    flowsco, you sound ready to dive in. his behavior shows he does not. his behavior shows he is clearly open to and ready for s.ex.

    no, he doesn't pressure you, because most libras would never do that, it's rude, and boorish. we like to look classy.

    however, that doesn't mean he isn't wishing it were all "simple" and he could just not stress, fret, worry about having to "pick something for good and commit to it." he's worrying about that, see, because he knows you aren't pursuing him lightly.

    now, no one wants to be the bad guy. he doesn't think of himself as a lothario and he might even be totally benign with a respectable social life but the point remains that he is uncomfortable with making a choice right now. usually that stems from a guy meaning well but not wanting to hurt somebody and just admit "i don't want that right now can't we just be lovers?"

    sometimes, even, a guy coming to that with a woman, unless she's in the same realm, will obviously end the relationship, and the guy knows it, so he'll never say it.

    but that's what he's hoping.

    my hope for you is that that's not the case, but i do want you to be realistic. i have never fallen in love at the wrong time, but i have fallen in lus.t. be prepared - and don't be offended - that the libra is actually fast to move on, when something sours, no matter how much potential or good it could have.

    so i want you to prepare yourself - in the next couple weeks or months, that you keep it open and light, and that was my concern about the expectation with him, that he may feel too pressured. it really depends how much you want him, and what YOU want.

    what you want is totally normal and healthy but it may not be something he wants and is ready for, and that's both of your prerogatives, you know?

    if you want him really badly and are willing to bend over backward, then you can try to wait him out and keep luring him for talks and trying to touch his heart and move in.

    however another alternative is simply letting it be for a while, and also being prepared that if you do that - that it may never pick back up again. libras can really move on just to avoid further "drama."

    not sure i'm being much help here ... i feel bad. honestly if i were in your shoes i really would have moved on by now. i'm the type where if you want me, be serious about it, step up, put in the effort. as a libra i can't abide by someone not being fair to me.

    what i worry about for you is that you're spending way more time thinking about his vulnerability and feelings and fretting than he may be about you. i'm no tsaying he isn't, or that he was lying about thinking about you, but i do worry that you're being far more accomodating in your life than he has been. which to me, isn't fair! 😛

  • Hey girl,

    Thanks for responding and yes you are right about him wanting something and isn’t sure what. There are private matters that I haven’t voiced here on the forum that is dictating his behaviour and I understand that now. The choice is indeed mine and I told him what I want. So we will see if he will accommodate that. If he wants to remain friends it’s okay.

    We have to keep seeing each other for the coming months one way or the other and I am also capable to let something dye down. I think by now he knows I won’t be good at the just lover department. I have other reasons for not doing that.

    I have given him plenty opportunity to just let it be. I don’t want drama less than he does so he isn’t going to get that from me.

    I will never bend over backwards to get him. He knows my worth and how I think about things. 🙂 I just need to find for myself a way to deal with my feelings when I am around him.

    I got a question have you contacted LibrasLair already? If you did ask her for my email address and I will share more with you. She has my email from when I got the Spiritual Path reading.

    I hope your week doesn’t get crazier than the last one. And I will keep you posted. I will be seeing him next Wednesday.


  • Thmilin, where did you go? How are you girl? My week is totally mad!! Okay small update. I took in account all what you told me and was going to relax for a bit. But during my visit last week he surprised me with something that I didn't count on after reading what you said and after his and I conversation.

    Namely I told him what I wanted from him and how. I left that in the middle and was expecting a good while to pass before I get a response one way or the other. So while visiting him he was in a very good mood and still digging to find out where my mind was on issues like money. I have the strong feeling that the women that he was with before used him in this department and he thinks that I am like that as well. So we talked more about that. After my session which was hilarious and flirty again he then turned his attention to my son who was with me that day. You see for me it was a test to see how those two interact. If it would be off then I would back down totally. Fortunately it was great between them. They even forgot me for a few. When I joined them Libra guy said to my son (and there was no reason for it) that he would be seeing him soon. Right after he said that he looked at me to catch my reaction. I only reacted with my eyes like ...wha? okay!?! and didn't say anything because this was part of our previous conversation and I honestly thought he would stay away after me saying what I want from him. In which you clearly said he is not ready for.

    The funny and possibly ironic thing is about this all is I had a card with me saying that he stole my heart. That card I had with me the other day and didn't manage to leave it behind so he could find it. So this time I did.

    And for him to say what he said without even knowing what I did I was like stunned.

    Of course he is busy and I haven't heard from him but I am getting use to that now. To me nothing major has happened so I am taking my time. I got a great deal to do the coming weeks for work and will be in his city more often. If I will see him I don't know.

    I hope your fine and that we catch up soon. Take care.

  • as promised via youtube, i'm checking in! 🙂 how are you ladies? any progress here with Mr. Libra?

  • Hey,

    Just saw this..don't be here much. I dropped you a line or two on youtube. I will tell LibrasLair that you checked in..she is here more often than I do.

    Mr. Libra lots Will update you soon.

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