When your scorpio man says he loves you and you don't answer
Hi all, --- Sorry for the repeat post but I think I posted this under the wrong forum originally. Thx!
I have a bit of a dilemma. I am a fiery Aries woman that has been dealing on and off with a headstrong some what unyeilding Scorpio man. I know he cares for me but has a funny way of showing it. When he shows too much emotion it's almost as if he feels vulnerable and the next time I see him he is cold and withdrawn with me. It drives me insane. I too can be quite difficult and am very guarded. About a year ago I wrote him an email and told him that I had strong feelings for him. I told him that I loved him. He totally chocked and rejected me. We had a huge fallen out...rightfully so and spent a few months apart. We are now seeing each other again. We were spending some time together the weekend before last and things started to get hot and heavy. He whispered in to my ear 'I LOVE YOU' but I pretended as if I didn't hear him. He then said 'DID YOU HEAR ME...I LOVE YOU' again I pretended as if I didn't hear him. He has whispered this to me in the past but as I said before I am so guarded especially after opening up to him last year then having him reject me....that I can't bring myself to say the words again. It's not that I don't feel it but I am afraid. There is some doubt in my mind that he really does love me especially when he acts so distant at times. Anyway, he's totally been ignoring my text messages since that night. He finally answered me back yesterday. I asked him if he was okay because I hadn't heard from him and his reply was the following...'I got life going on right now....in full swing' I was quite annoyed and frustrated with this text. I don't know what to do. Is he hurt and that is why he is being so silly? How do I make him understand why I couldn't bring myself to say those words to him? Btw, I am a bit hard of hearing from one ear so I always pretend like I don't hear him but I feel like this time he really made it his business to make sure the message got through.
Desperately seeking some sane advice,
You get what you put out there and I'm sorry but you both have strings attached you yank back everytime the vulnerability of love sets in. This is not love. There is no way around it--love hurts! Love heals! Love can make us scared! Love can be the top of the world most joyful moment of our lives. ALL OF THE ABOVE. Too much game playing. If you DO love this man you tell him! If he runs it's his problem. Don't let your ego lead you down this tug of war road. If you love this man and he runs well he obviousely has intimicy issues and it is not your job to fix him. Life is unpredictable--he could die tomorrow and if you didn't be true and tell him how you felt you would regret that. If you want the games to stop you have to be honest. Tell him I love you and that's were I'm at and if you don't love me that way I will except that and then you decide if you wish to keep dating with other options open or you decide it's too painful to be with him knowing he doesn't love you the same way and you break it off. You do have more power over this situation than you acknowledge--are you brave enough to accept letting him go if you have to? You are both too afraid for love right now--love takes bravery. You can't use it like a weapon to withold or reward as it suites you. If you told him you loved him and felt like a fool that's your ego talking and tell that famouse aries ego to humble itself a bit. Butting heads with a scorpio ego is asking for some seriouse fireworks. Be soft--but mostly Be real. If your scorpio walks away from this you have your answer and move on. You ask how do you make him understand? Be honest--scorpios respond to honesty--if you can ask any stranger out there right now on this forum then why can't you print this out and show him? I think your ego knows that answer.
Thank you so much for your honest reply. I know that my ego does often get in the way and I have such a difficult time with that. I think I really hurt him by not saying how I felt and now he is lashing out at me but when he does get over it...i will certainly let him know how i really feel.
Kudos to you for taking your big girl pill! On the positive side this is what attractions are about--helping us grow and we often mirror our challenges off a potential partner. Your Scorpio has the same ego issues so it's not all your fault. He brings out this fear of rejection in you and you do the same in him so there is a potential to work this out if he is willing. Unfortunetly, you can not control his willingness to acknowledge this aspect in himself as readily as you have. All you can do is open the way with honesty and vulnerability and take the lead. It's not fair to generalize all Scorpios but it is my observation that they tend to be very unforgiving once they feel someone has not been up front with them--on the other hand they are also one of the most loyalest of signs when they truely love someone and are forgiving as well so if he does feel something deep and real for you he will be back and when he does it would help if you just opened up with him and tell him honestly you know you have this ego fear thing that holds you back sometimes and tell him when he told you he loved you you wanted more than anything to say it back but had put up a big wall already after telling him those same words and feeling you made a mistake because you sensed it ran him off. Tell him you thought the worst because you were so afraid of being rejected and maybe you were wrong to think the worst but since he seemed to pull away you were left with your own fears and it would help you let down your wall if he could open up more and express how HE was feeling. Sometimes his fears are self fullfilled. He fears that by saying he loves you that he loses power and you will hurt him with it--and you did. But really he planted that seed himself when he left you alone with your own fears when you told him you loved him and then seemingly punished you for the same thing! This is how you mirror each other and the more you both can talk about this as being real the more likely you will grow out of it. Also you should know that if he doesn't grow past this fear with you you both will be presented with the same issue to resolve with another as the face may change but the fear remains. You've made progress already by acknowledging your shadow side (we all have one!) We can't change who we are but we can learn to acknowledge and manage. I thing you will be hearing from him very soon. Best wishes!
Thank you so much for this great advice. You have made me feel so much better. I cannot tell you how awful I was feeling but I think all will be okay now. Time heals all. Thanks again and may you be blessed!!!