I am writing a book about 'soul-mates' and would very much welcome the opportunity to have people contribute their stories, thoughts and ideas on the topic.
Under NO circumstances will any names, places or other identifying aspects of this be used. My sole (bad pun I know ... but true none-the-less) purpose is in understanding and discussing the following:
1. What people believe a soul-mate is?
2. How you recognized a soul mate (if you have one) and what a soul-mate would be for you if you don't?
3. How you met? Length of relationship?
4. Have you had more than one ... or do you think there is only one?
5. What it feels like to have met the one or to still feel as though you are searching?
6. What about being in a relationship is important to you?
7. Why do we seek a soul-mate?
I would love to know star sign combinations too; if you feel like sharing. That's a big part of my research as well ... the female is? the male is? or ... other? Eg: Leo female / Sagittarius male.
To begin ...
I can honestly say I have met 3 people whom I consider to be soul-mates in my life ... all at separate times and each one as unalike as the other ... one Taurean, one Gemini and one Sagittarius. I have been with the Sag for 25 years this year and married for 23 of them but there are always times where I think about the other two. It's hard not to when one feels such a close connection to another soul.
It's like having always known someone even though you haven't. It's like not needing to speak because the feelings and ideas are understood inherently. Where the physical attraction is also so strong that a room full of people aren't even noticed. It's a comfort unlike any other and it's an awakening of senses and feelings one didn't know existed before. It's about being and not about doing. It's a spiritual love - a connection beyond the human ideas of love.
If you would like to share this journey too, then I welcome you warmly and look forward to building an incredible understanding of soul-mates right alongside you all. If you are looking for a soul-mate, please tell me about this also. Any questions at all ... drop me a line.
Perhaps, collectively, we can all help each-other discover some magic? I believe so.
The invitation begins ...
icearia --- have you written before or is this a new venture?
You may have seen this as it was a new thread the other day:
"I tend to view the term soul mates, not so much as a romance thing, more as souls that travel together to learn and balance .... what has been left unfinished, to accept responsibility and to heal, for example. Corny, maybe, but ... as mates traveling together for our souls. And, it may not be all lovey -dovey, ya know? The lesson of the soul even from a soul mate, may appear harsh & negative, but it is from a place of love, for growth.
Its an interesting puzzle. I can guess at the mates of my soul when I look at my life but I am only 100 % sure of four people."
Above is just a very small piece of my thoughts. It is a topic that has been very close to my heart also. And I've been very blessed because of it.
Hi icearia, I posted a thread called, Are Soulmates Real some time ago, a poster by the name of CStar77 added this to the post. I found it very interesting
Plz forgive but it is very long..
Here is what was written:
When you meet your, (SM) this person will have an instantaneous effect on you. A Soulmate is someone who makes your knees go weak and you want to catch your breath. With but a single glance they lesson your burden and but a smile, warms your heart. You will feel a sense of connection ( affinity ) with this person. They will touch you so deeply on so many levels, you will want to share your inner most secrets. For the first time in your life someone will make you feel like almost like a god. Once you have met your (SM) for better or sometimes worse, your life will never be the same.
One of the things which makes this experience unique is the sense of a meaningful spiritual experience. You both feel like this is to be and that you've been together before in a past incarnation. Normally for some, it is several months, weeks or days before physical intimacy (****) occurs. But when you meet your (SM) something happens, the pull or drive to become physically intimate overwhelms many, and one finds it happening basically in the initial meeting. There's a sense of safety with this person. You knowingly let go of your defenses as an empathic like bond is formed. Unlike other relationships, in the past, there will be no game playing or hidden agendas which plagued you in the past.
Sometimes the best way to find something, is by not looking for it. With this in mind, you probably will meet your Soulmate (SM) when you're not looking. Since life revels in making things difficult, you'll probably meet them in the morning when your on the grave yard shift. For many it will be after a bad relationship or several bad relationships. If you're lucky you won't have to wait until your 50 to meet your (SM). But if you do. well at least you'll appreciate it's significance more, than someone in there twenties. You have had the benefit of experience, the perspective of age and the knowledge, such love is once in a life time.
The point here is "Serendipity", so forget about taking that "Singles" bus tour to the Circus. Sure you'll meet a lot of nice people and perhaps you really should get out, but just be prepared to ..Well, meet some real clowns.
The universe is a funny place, don't be surprised if your Soulmate is older or younger. Soulmate's don't care about age. How much older or younger ? From my observations, expect years like 7 to 20. In a true (SM) relationship it won't matter, if anything it will make you stronger. Life is not neat, nor has it ever been. So why should it start now ?
There is something about the Passion you share with an (SM). It goes beyond just " body parts". For a moment in time you two are the only ones who exist in the universe. Hearts beating in rhythm as your souls have intertwined themselves becoming one. Your personal energies meld and you feel the flame of creation move through you like a wave of the ocean on a hot summers day. Soon you begin to lose track, of where you begin and your partner ends. From within the depths of your raw passionate union, your (SM) will know how and where to touch you. It will be different, intense and more gratifying than lovers of your past.
They will look into your eyes and you will feel your soul open wide. For some people, there is the "Rush". All the love, all the lust, all the need will surge forth from your soul like captives from a prison. At this moment you will know what it means to get lost within someone's eyes. You will experience a touch you have never felt before and your lust will rise to new levels. Often, in the case of true Soulmates, you can get so carried away you can actually hurt yourself. ( I know.. she caused me to pull several muscles one night) But in the end as you lay there, as the warm afterglow begins to fade, you will realize what just happened was not . ", simply doesn't feel this good."
To put it simply, your (SM) will be able to make love to you in ways no one else will be able to match.
It is within our nature as human being to **** things up. The very thing which makes Soulmate love so special, is the one thing which can bring it down. The simple fact is, the unparalelled love & passion is terrifying to many people.
We learned how to have relationships from our parents or primary giver. If your primary givers relationships were dysfunctional, then chances are so are yours. There are many people in this world who in relationships maintain an extreme amount of emotional control. They take pride in the fact that their partner is madly in love with them. By being able to "wrap them around their finger" they feel safer. Thus, all their relationships become based on this pattern. Then one day their (SM) comes along and wham!. Quickly they discover the control over their heart and the relationship is gone. Now they must relate on a level playing field, and for many, they run.
For those of you who are runners let me tell you what you already know. It doesn't work. You can move to the other side of the planet, marry someone else and fill up your spare time with some cause. But the simple truth is, your (SM) will be there in your soul. No matter how hard you try, no matter how busy you make yourself, everyday they will enter you thoughts. So then many try and **** them out. But that doesn't work either, for it becomes just **** and as you lay there afterwards you will feel empty and cheated.
A good measure of this is a simple test. After you have just made love to the person who you are using as a safe substitute, do you find yourself wanting to "get away" from them? A kind of "Okay, I got off..now get away from me feeling"? This is assuming that you can still get off. In some cases your orgasms are just barely, if you're lucky. When you were with your (SM), didn't you feel the need to remain close, to pull each other tightly and melt into each other? That's the difference....and one which is very hard to hide from yourself.
If you run, then you've made the conscious choice to doom yourself and the other person to be haunted for the rest of your life. Sure, you may eventually fall in love with someone who fits your preconceived image or expectation (cute, rich or successful) of what your partner should be. But as time moves on...you never forget, you always wonder and then you eventually regret. I have a saying:
The Soulmate relationship is worth putting up a fight, but there comes a time when you have done all that you can do..and you can do no more. At some point, the one who runs has to choose to stop and come to their senses. Life is sadly cruel, just as it is grand. Short of burying your child, losing your Soulmate is indescribable anguish.
It is like having your tender soul ripped from your body. You feel lost, abandoned and betrayed. There is a sense of panic which permeates your very being and personal existence. You find yourself saying, "never again". You did something you had never done before, you willingly let another in....all the way.
Eventually, after the shock, the depression comes, then the anger and then you just want it all to end. You wish you could just stop feeling...but you can't. And no matter how much you drink, smoke or eat, you can't make the pain go away. Yes, regular love hurts too..and badly. But when you lose your (SM), no matter how enlightened, wise or talented, in both will and spirit you are...it is devastating.
Many of us sadly, fail to recover and we truly never "Love" again. Those who are really weak, try to kill themselves. Be it with a car speeding on a wet winding road after drinking, or "J" walking on 42nd street, to just taking one too many pills. The end result is the same if we succeed, suicide is suicide whether you leave a note or not.
In the end, we don't even want to see the person, because that just tares open the wound over and over. Right or wrong, that's just the way it is. Eventually, you go on with your life and you stop hating them...because like you...they will never forget either.
Every now and then life gives us a happy ending. Sometimes, after trying to get their (SM) out of their minds, the "runner" comes to realize what they had lost. A few are wise enough to do whatever it takes to correct the situation and get back into their Soulmates arms. Hopefully, not enough time has gone by so that the situation is salvagable. But oftentimes it's not. All I can say is TRY. With Soulmates there is NO pride, and there CAN be forgiveness. We are destined to meet our Soulmate, what you do after that is "your" choice.
We are born into this world alone and we begin our journey. Few are lucky we find the right partner, "The ONE" along the way. With this person we grow, learn and experience the wonders of human existence. They become part of us, as we become part of them. Eventually, our journey must end as we were born to die, alone. But in between these two points we hopefully have learned, experienced and gained some wisdom with the chance to pass it on.
As I walk my chosen path I say to those of you who shall follow me, this is but one part of the road which lay ahead of you.
In my lifetime, I found my Soulmate. I know the joys, the exquisite highs and the sense of oneness, completion and peace. Yet as we turn the coin on the other side, I also know the ongoing torment of losing one. I hope you never have to find out how it feels....to lose part of oneself. But if you do, know this: "You will survive. Your life will never be the same, but given enough time you will survive" At such a moment, you are not able to see that way. Once you do survive, the choices, good or bad, are your responsibility...and life will be what YOU make of it.
The dedication was To: Kimberly....I waited all my life to find you....my Soulmate...and for a brief moment, YOUR thoughts were MY thoughts. MY goals were YOUR goals, YOUR dreams were MY dreams. The love was grand, the passion unrivaled and we both finally felt complete. Sadly for both of us, until YOU put in enough time on this planet...you may never understand the value of what was cast aside.
"Experience is the greatest teacher of all"....
Maybe....my love....we will get it right next lifetime.
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OMG! I am just sobbing. I can so relate to healingwater. We meet a few years ago. The last year was unbelievable. And everything you said. I felt or should I say I'm feeling. We were both married, He chose to stay in his. I'm divorced. We ended our emotional affair. But did we! I know they'll never be another, who has touched me mentally, emotionally and physically. I will never be the same, because I felt as part of me has died and I have to learn to live without him.
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Yes, there are children. We broke it off. Even though how right it feels, we know it's wrong. We never showed or displayed our love openly. Mainly by private phone calls and e-mails. People suspect because of the energy between us. We would just deny it and laugh it off. But it is no laughing matter. It was real!
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The right thing for him to do is try to find a way back into wife's heart.
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Don't get me wrong I want him so bad it hurts. There is a great possiblity he won't be back.
I'm out of the picture and not being a distraction in his life. Hopefully he'll figure it out. He needs to do this on his own. All I can do is pray that I could find that again.
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HELLO TO EVERYONE ... LOVE HAVING YOU HERE!
To begin ...
What a lovely surprise Laie4 ... thanks for joining me here.
Yes, I am a writer and have written lots before / all my life ... just spent the last 12 months as a feature writer for an online magazine actually. I feature on other web-sites also and will soon have my own site too ... we can really fly our kites on topics then, hey? This is a new book I want to put together. What gave me away????
The topic is sooooooo vast and encompasses as many different things as there are beings and it's not all hearts and flowers kind of stuff either ... some soul mate appearances are destructive. Lots to chat about and process.
The whole point of my post here, and the premis of the book actually, is that we are all learning to understand ourselves and the soul-mate aspect is a part of that. I want to follow the soul as it were ... to explore what it is doing in its incarnation.
It's also a topic that my heart is connected to for my soul has been split in 3 directions and, although I know I NEED all 3 parts to be whole, I cannot have my cake and eat it too. I cannot have what I long for ... ache for ... without hurting others. It's an interesting path this life we walk.
THANK YOU & BLESS YOU for your sharing (to ALL of you actually). I do so appreciate the opening of your hearts and the ideas you express. I love your unique ability to explore the essence of life Laie4 ... you have a special gift and I consider it a great fortune to have connected with you here. I agree with you completely and love how you have explained a new way of looking at soul connections ... lots of beautiful wisdom within your little bright package my dear!!!! There is nothing corny about what you believe. Infact, I am truly looking forward to learning more about the 4 you speak of and the blessings brought to you.
If you'll share ... my heart is open.
Dear HealingWater (great name by the way ... beautiful energy),
I am a newbie when it comes to forums ... have never been on one in my life till a few days ago. Funny how the Universe works, isn't it?
Anyway, with your blessing, I would love to visit your thread and find all the gems you have so kindly placed there? Hope that's ok?
I am overwhelmed by a sense of deja vu in reading what "CStar77" wrote. Thanks ever so for posting here for ALL to read. I have read this before, I am sure of it. Fear not about lonnnnnng pieces, as you can tell ... brevity is not my thing ... lol!!! Post away, I say!!!!
If CStar77 is out there ... I would LOVE to spend some moments with YOU on this thread. I think EVERYONE ON THE PLANET would ... and, should. I connect so strongly with those who express soul. I wish for you to have your soul's peace.
Although you have already probably said heaps on your thread, I would be honoured if you would add some thoughts here HealingWater ... you have a depth of feeling about you that is rare, I think.
Love to have you if you want to ... we could all learn from you.
I am doing this in bits and pieces as you can see because I would like to respond personally to each of you. I believe that if you take the time to post here, you deserve to be acknowledged.
Please know that we may have time zone differences between you & me ... I am an Australian and, although I am an 'owl' and keep long, late hours ... I do still sleep (weird I know! LOL!) Forgive me if time passes before I reach you.
I really like your thinking too. Soul-mates are not all romance novels.
I have a sense that you are referring more to a 'soul-group'. This is the closest thing to a bunch of soul family that you can get really. Each member of the soul-group is connected to the one soul. This is all just my understanding by the way ... we each intuit what is right for us at any moment in time. When it comes to siblings, parents, family and even friends, you have chosen this group to be with before your birth. Each of you has agreed to learn aomething specific but to do it together, sort of a collective soul lesson if you like. In this way, you bring all of your experiences together and the one soul evolves. This is the truth within the statement, we are all a reflection of the One.
The bond in this is phenomenal and yes, very, VERY soul-mate like in feeling. If a soul-mate is someone who understands you implicitly and lifts your being above all darkness and gives you what others do not ... then, that is a soul-mate for us and I so appreciate where you are coming from. It is the love that matters between the souls and not the terminology we use to describe it really. I thank you for pointing this out.
I hope you'll stick around quenkath ... you are a dear soul.
One of my sweetest and dearest soul buddies on this Earth is an Aries. You also have caught my heart for you & I share a soul-mate experience ... of wanting and needing and of bad, bad timing.
For me, I had been married for two weeks when I met "THE ONE" ... the one that made time, space and reality stand still. I adore my husband and, as you can see, have been together a lonnnnnnng time, but, it wasn't the same ... isn't the same. It has been nearly 20 years since I last saw him and yet, he visits me in my dreams and we begin exactly where we left off as if he were standing in front of me. It seems that no space or universe comes between such a thing.
Back to you, more importantly ... just as I said before, time, distance and the whole milky way does NOT cause a soul-mate relationship/merging/awareness ... to end. It will never be over. How can it? The soul has found itself ... it so can't just walk away. The heart does not stop feeling for what is missing. The mind cannot understand how to forget either.
Oh how I feel for you.
Like CStar77, you will never be the same for you have learnt the difference. You have felt what it is to know this type of connection and your whole being does not want it to stop. I cannot imagine the pain you lived through in divorcing but I applaud you for not living a lie. It is a brave soul who stands in truth. Never forget that.
Hmmm ... you have so made a true statement in ...'people suspect because of the energy between us'. OMG how TRUE that is!!!! The enrgy between soul-mates is VISIBLE. People say they can't see auras but by golly they see energy when it's between two who share SOUL LOVE! The energy between these two is incredible. It is powerful and it is something that shuts out all interference ... this is why soul-mates do not notice other people or things going on around them. Often, it is so consuming and so intoxicating that the brain registers zip. You see, the soul is responding, not the head. The soul just is whereas the mind is scattered.
A connection like yours Dear arieskaren is a life connection.
It is your soul, and not your ego, that aches for this.
You have my heart with you and if I, or anyone here, can help you ... please just pour out whatever you want. We're here.
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And hi to quenkath again ...
You are very astute and insightful actually ... hope you know that.
arieskaren's sharing has definitely raised a new level of soul-mates ... what if the timing is all wrong!!!!
I consider it one of life's cruelties to allow two souls to finally find each-other and then, leave them nowhere to go. I have had 'we are exactly where we are meant to be and with whom we are meant to be at any given moment' explained to me a lot. However, NOTHING ... absolutley nothing ... can stop the pain that comes from not being able to be together because of circumstances. It rips the heart from the chest.
Although I was married, he was not. He was in a relationship however ... so not exactly free either. Like arieskaren in so many ways. I have 4 children now and lots of time to wonder what if?
Guilt can cause so much hurt too. It is really sad to see anyone hurt in relationships but a love that cannot be is sadder still. I have met many whose life was torn apart because they lived a lie. To stay because of obligation, guilt or circumstance is doing no-one any favours. There are many who live with unrequieted love matches amongst us .. and for many reasons.
Thanks for posting a new aspect of soul-mates to consider dear quenkath ... much appreciated.
Just saw your new post.
Awwww ... you are way too kind.
What is more beautiful is how you KNOW you have friends who are soul-mates. That's the most precious thing of all. Once we recognize that we have a connection that goes beyond anything else, we can love so unconditionally and that's what makes lives fly ... that's where the magic is. You have found that. How awesome is that!?! Big time awesome my friend ... very BIG time.
I also wanted to say that I love the kindness you are giving arieskaren too. Only a soul that is pure can give in this way.
Consider yourself special.
Bet your friends LOVE you!!!! Bet even strangers do too and without even knowing why. Bet you kind of attract people who want to tell you everything???
Here's a clue ...
It's the size of your heart!!!!
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